by Mika Waltari
The King said, “Eat with me, Sinuhe! Ill though it befits my dignity, I will forget it today and not think of how you held my head under your arm and poked your fingers into my mouth.”
So I ate and drank with him, and I told him, “Your pain is soothed, but may return at any time if the tooth that is the cause of it be not removed. Therefore, let the dentist draw it as soon as the swelling in your cheek has gone down, when it may be done without endangering your health.”
His face darkened.
“You talk much and tediously, you cra^y foreigner.” Then after some reflection he added, “But it may be true, for the pain returns every autumn and spring when my feet are wet-and so badly that I wish I were dead. If it must be done then you shall do it, for I will not set eyes on that dentist again because of the needless pain he has caused me.”
I answered him gravely, “Your dentist shall draw the tooth and not I, for in such matters he is the cleverest man in the country-cleverer also than myself-and I would not bring his anger upon my head. But if you wish it, I will stand beside you and hold your hands and encourage you while he does it, and I will soothe the pain with all the arts I have learned in many lands among many people. And this shall be done two weeks from today-for it is best to fix the time lest you repent of it. By then your jaw will be sufficiently healed, and meanwhile you shall rinse your mouth morning and evening with a remedy I shall give you, though it may sting and has an evil taste.”
He grew angry. “And if I will not do this?”
“You must give me your sacred word that all shall be done as I have said-for indeed the lord of the four quarters of the world cannot go back upon that. And if you let it be done, I will divert you with my arts and turn water into blood before your eyes-I will even teach you to do this and amaze your subjects. But you must promise never to reveal the secret to anyone else, for it is sacred to the priests of Ammon, and I should not know it myself were I not a priest of the first grade, nor dare to teach it to you were you not a king.”
As I finished speaking, Kaptah cried out pitifully from the door frame, “Take away this devil’s beast or I shall climb down and slay it, for my hands are numb and my backside sore with sitting in this uncomfortable place which in no way befits my dignity.”
Burnaburiash laughed more than ever at this threat. Then feigning gravity he said, “It would indeed be a woeful thing if you killed my lion, for I have brought it up from a cub, and it is my friend. I will call it away, therefore, that you may not commit this evil deed in my palace.”
He called the lion to him, and when Kaptah had climbed down the hangings, he stood rubbing his cramped legs and glaring at the lion so that the King laughed again and slapped his knees.
“A more comical man I never saw in my life. Sell him to me, and I will make you rich.”
But I did not wish to sell Kaptah. The King did not insist, and we parted friends. He had begun to nod by now, and his eyelids were drooping, for he had had no sleep for many nights.
The old physician followed me out, and I said to him, “Let us take counsel together about what is to happen in two weeks’ time, for that will be an evil day, and we should be wise to make sacrifice to all suitable gods.”
This greatly pleased him, for he was a pious man, and we agreed to meet in the temple to make sacrifice and to confer with the doctors about the King’s tooth. Before we left the palace, he caused refreshment to be offered to the porters who had brought me; they ate and drank in the forecourt and praised me volubly. They sang aloud as they carried me back to the inn, crowds followed us, and from that day my name was famous in Babylon. But Kaptah rode his white donkey in a great rage and would not speak to me, for he had been wounded in his dignity.
3
Two weeks later I met the King’s physicians in Marduk’s tower, where we sacrificed a sheep together and the priests examined its liver; in Babylon the priests consult the livers of sacrificial beasts, interpreting therefrom much that is hidden from others. They told us that the King would be exceedingly wroth but that no man would lose his life because of it or suffer lasting hurt, though we must beware of claws and spears. Next we bade the astronomers consult the Book of the Heavens to learn whether the day was auspicious for this undertaking. They told us that the day was not unfavorable although we might have chosen a better. Next the priests at our request poured oil into water and in this sought to read the future. Having surveyed the oil, they said they saw nothing remarkable-or at least nothing of ill omen. As we left the temple, a vulture flew over us carrying in its claws a human head it had snatched from the wall. This the priests interpreted as a favorable sign-though to me it appeared very far from that.
Warned by the auguries, we dismissed the King’s guard and shut the lion out, for when the King became angered, he might have set it upon us, to rend us, as the physicians declared had been known to happen. But King Burnaburiash came stoutly in, having fortified his liver with wine-as they say in Babylon-though when he saw the dentist’s chair that had been conveyed to the palace he turned extremely pale and said that he had important affairs of state to see to, which he had forgotten while drinking.
He made as if to go, but while the other physicians lay face downward upon the floor, wiping it with their mouths, I seized the King’s hand and encouraged him, saying that all would speedily be over if he would only have courage. I ordered the doctors to cleanse themselves, and I purified the dentist’s instruments in the fire of the scarab, then rubbed numbing salves into the boy’s gum till he commanded me to stop, saying that his cheek was like wood and he could no longer move his tongue. Then we set him in the chair, binding his head to it and putting wedges in his mouth so that he could not close it. I held his hands and cheered him, the dentist audibly invoked all the gods of Babylon to aid him and, putting the forceps into the boy’s mouth, whipped out the tooth more deftly than I have ever seen it done. Despite the gags the King yelled in a terrible manner, and the lion began roaring outside the door, hurling itself against it till it creaked and scratching at it with its claws.
It was a terrifying moment, for when we had unbound the boy’s head and taken the wedges from his jaws, he spat blood into a dish, shrieking and yelling, with the tears pouring down his face. He roared that his bodyguard should put us all to death; he called his lion and kicked over the holy fire and beat his physician with a stick till I took it from him and bade him rinse his mouth. This he did while the physicians lay at his feet quaking in every limb, and the dentist thought that his last hour was come. But the King quieted down and drank some wine, though with a wry mouth, and asked me to divert him as I had promised.
We went into the great banqueting hall, for the room in which the tooth had been drawn was no longer pleasing to the King. Indeed, he intended to close it forever and call it the Accursed Room. I poured water into a vessel and let the King and the other doctors taste it and satisfy themselves that it was, indeed, ordinary water. Next I poured the water slowly into another vessel, and as it ran into this, it was transmuted into blood so that the King and his physicians cried aloud in dismay.
After this the King rewarded his physicians richly and made the dentist a wealthy man, and he sent them all away. But he bade me stay, and I taught him how to change water into blood, giving him some of the substance that must be mixed with the water to bring the miracle about. It is a simple matter as everyone familiar with it knows, but every great art is simple, and the King marveled greatly and was full of my praises. He was not content until he had summoned to the garden all the distinguished men of the court and also people from the walls. In the sight of all he transmuted the water of the pool into blood so that both mighty and humble cried out in fear, prostrating themselves before him, to his very great satisfaction.
He had forgotten his tooth, and he said to me, “Sinuhe the Egyptian, you have cured me of a great evil and delighted my liver in many ways, therefore, you may ask of me what you will. Name the gift you desire, and I will give it you, wha
tever it may be, for I would rejoice your liver also.”
I replied, “King Burnaburiash, lord of the four quarters of the world! As your physician I have held your head under my arm and grasped your hands when you uttered wrathful cries. It is not fitting that I, a stranger, should preserve such a memory of the King of Babylon when I return to my own country to tell of what I have seen here. Impress me, therefore, with a glimpse of your might! Hang a beard upon your chin, gird a tail about you, arid command your warriors to parade before your face that I may behold your majesty and power-that I may prostrate myself humbly before you and kiss the dust. I ask no more than this.”
My request pleased him, for he answered, “Truly no one has ever spoken as you do, Sinuhe. I will grant your request though for me it is most wearisome, for I must sit throughout a whole day on a golden throne till my eyes are tired and I am overcome with yawning. Nevertheless, it shall be as you wish.”
He sent word to all parts of the country summoning his forces and fixed a day for the parade.
This parade took place at the Gate of Ishtar. The King sat upon a golden throne with the lion at his feet and with his chief dignitaries about him fully armed; he appeared to float in a cloud of gold and silver and purple. Below him along the broad road ran the warriors-spearmen and archers sixty abreast and chariots six abreast-and their passing took the whole day. The chariot wheels were thunderous, and the thud of running feet and the clatter of accouterments was like a tempest, making the eyes swim and the knees tremble.
I said to Kaptah, “It will not suffice for us to report that the Babylonian warriors are as the sands of the sea in number; we must count them.”
He protested, “Lord, this cannot be done, for there are not so many numbers in the world.”
Yet I reckoned as well as I might. The foot soldiers were sixty times sixty times sixty men, while of chariots there were sixty-for sixty is a sacred number in Babylon, as are also five and seven and twelve.
I noted, also, that the shields and weapons of the King’s bodyguard blazed with gold and silver, their faces gleamed with oil, they were so fat that running made them breathless, and they panted past the King like a herd of oxen. But they were few in number; the troops from outlying districts were sunburned and dirty and smelled of urine. Many of them lacked spears, for the King’s summons had taken them by surprise. Their eyes were sore from flies, and I reflected that soldiers in every country are alike. Moreover, their chariots were old and squeaky, one or two of them lost a wheel as they drove by, and the scythes fixed to them were green with verdigris.
That evening the King summoned me to his presence and said smilingly, “Did you see my might, Sinuhe?”
I prostrated myself at his feet, kissed the ground, and answered, “Truly there is no mightier monarch than yourself, and it is not for nothing that men call you lord of the four quarters of the world. My eyes are weary, my head whirls, and my limbs tremble with fear, for the number of your warriors is as the sands of the sea.”
He smiled in delight.
“You have had your desire, Sinuhe. Let us now drink wine and rejoice our livers after this tedious day, for I have much to ask you.”
I drank with the King, and he asked me many questions such as children and the young who have seen nothing of the world will ask.
My answers pleased him, and at last he said, “The wine has revived me and cheered my liver, and I go now to my women. But come you-vith me, for that as a physician you may do. I have a superabundance of wives and shall not be offended if you choose one for yourself tonight, provided you do not get her with child, for that would cause difficulties. I am also curious to see how an Egyptian lies with a woman, for every nation has its own customs. If I were to tell you the ways of those wives who come from distant lands, you would not believe me and would be greatly astonished.”
He would not heed my refusal but led me to the women’s house on walls of which he showed me pictures his artists had made of colored tiles. They depicted men and women taking pleasure with one another in many different ways. He showed me, also, some of his wives, who were clad in rich garments and adorned with precious stones. Among them were women and young girls from all known lands, and also some from the savage nations, whom merchants had brought. They varied in color and figure and chattered like monkeys in many different tongues; they danced before the King with bared bellies and diverted him in various ways, competing for his favor. He urged me continually to choose one of them for myself until at last I told him that I had promised my god to abstain from women whenever I was about to treat a patient. I was to perform an operation on one of the court officials on the following day, so I insisted that since I might not approach a woman it would be better for me to retire, lest I bring my calling into disrepute. The King accepted this and allowed me to go, but the women were sorely displeased and showed it by various gestures and sounds. They had never yet seen there a man in the prime of his manhood, but only eunuchs and the King, who was young and slender and still without a beard.
Before I went, the King said, laughing to himself, “The rivers have overflowed their banks, and the spring has come, and the priests have therefore chosen the thirteenth day from today for the spring festival and the Day of the False King. I have prepared a surprise for you on that day that I believe will greatly divert you, and I expect to enjoy it myself, also. I will not say what it is to be, for that would spoil my pleasure.”
I went away full of misgivings, fearing that what amused King Burnaburiash would not amuse me at all, and in this Kaptah for once was of my opinion.
During my continued stay in Babylon I acquired much occult learning that was useful to a physician; the priestly art of prophecy especially was of interest to me. I learned also under the priests’ direction to read the auguries in the livers of sheep, which revealed many hidden things, and spent much time studying the patterns formed by oil upon the surface of water.
Before I speak of the spring festival in Babylon and of the Day of the False King, I would mention a curious incident concerning my birth.
When the priests consulted a sheep’s liver on my account and contemplated floating oil, they said, “There is some fearful secret connected with your birth that we cannot resolve and from which it appears that you are not merely an Egyptian as you believe but a stranger in the world.”
I told them then that I had not been born like other men but had come drifting down the river in a reed boat and that my mother had found me among the reeds. Then the priests looked at one another and bowing low before me, said, “This we guessed.”
They went on to tell me of their great King Sargon, who had gathered the four corners of the world under his sway and whose empire had stretched from the northern sea to the southern sea and who had ruled also over the islands in the sea. They told me that as a newborn child he had been carried down the river in a pitched-reed boat and that nothing was known of his birth until his mighty deeds showed that he was born of the gods.
At this my heart was filled with dread, and I tried to laugh the matter off.
“Surely you do not fancy that I, a doctor, am born of the gods?”
They did not laugh but said gravely, “That we do not know, but prudence is a virtue-therefore, we bow before you.”
They bowed low before me once more until I had had enough and said, “Let us make an end of this foolery and return to our business.”
They began once more to interpret- the mazes of the liver but stole awestruck glances at me and whispered among themselves.
From this day the thought of my origin weighed upon my spirit, and my heart sank because I was a stranger in all four quarters of the world. I had a strong desire to question the astrologers, but as I did not know the precise hour of my birth, it was useless to ask since they could not have enlightened me. Nevertheless, at the priests’ request they sought out the tablets relating to the year and the day of my coming down the river, for the priests also were curious. But all the astrologers c
ould say was that if I had been born at such and such a time of day I must have been of royal blood and destined to rule over a nation of many people. This knowledge was no comfort to me, for, when I thought of the past, I remembered only the crime I had committed and the shame I had brought upon myself in Thebes. It might be that the stars had cursed me from the very day of my birth and sent me in the reed boat to drive Senmut and Kipa to an untimely death and to rob them of the contentment of their old age-to rob them even of their tomb. And at this I shuddered, for if once the stars opposed me, I could not avoid my destiny but should continue to bring ruin and suffering upon those who held me dear. The future oppressed me, and 1 feared it, and I perceived that everything that had happened to me was designed to make me turn my heart from my fellows and live alone, for only solitude could save me from bringing destruction upon others.
4
It remains for me to tell of the Day of the False King.
When the young corn had begun to sprout and the fierce chill of the nights had given way to warmth, the priests went forth out of the city to bring their god from his tomb and to cry that he had risen again. Upon this the city of Babylon was transformed into a fair ground, where there was dancing and where gaily dressed crowds poured along the streets. The mob plundered the shops, making more commotion and uproar than the soldiers had after the great inspection. Women and girls went to the temple of Ishtar to collect silver for their wedding portions, and whoever chose might enjoy them without shame. The last day of the festival was the Day of the False King.
I was by now familiar with many customs in Babylon, yet I was astonished to see the King’s bodyguard before dawn on that day crowding drunkenly into Ishtar’s House of Joy, breaking open the doors and striking everyone they met with the butts of their spears as they shouted at the tops of their voices:
“Where is our king hiding? Bring him forth speedily, for the sun is about to rise, and the king must dispense justice to his people!”