by Mika Waltari
Kaptah laughed delightedly, and the laugh rumbled from his belly as from under soft cushions. Merit also laughed, for she had drunk wine with me and was now leaning back with her hands behind her head so that I might observe how beautiful still was the curve of her breasts beneath her dress.
Kaptah said, “Oh, Sinuhe, my lord and master, I rejoice to see that you have kept your childish disposition and understand no more of everyday things than does a swine of pearls-though it is far from my intention to liken you to a pig. Rather I render thanks and praise to all the gods of Egypt on your behalf since they might well have given you as a servant some thief or good-for-nothing who would have beggared you, while I have made you rich,”
I pointed out that he had no need to thank the gods for this but-rather my good judgment since I had bought him myself in the slave market-and cheaply, because he had lost one eye in a tavern brawl.
At the recollection of these things I was moved and said, “Truly I shall never forget my first sight of you, bound by the ankle to the slave stake and shouting shameless words to the women who passed by or begging beer from the men. Yet I was wise to buy you although I was doubtful of this at the time.”
Kaptah’s face darkened and twisted itself into many folds as he replied, “I do not care to be reminded of such old and tedious matters, which are unbecoming to my dignity.” He went on to praise the scarab very highly, saying, “You were wise to leave the scarab with me to watch over your affairs, for it has made you rich-richer than you could ever have dreamed-despite the tax gatherers who swarm over me like flies. I have had to hire two Syrian bookkeepers to keep special books for their benefit, for no one-not Set himself-could make head or tail of Syrian bookkeeping. And talking of Set, my thoughts turn to our old friend Horemheb to whom I have lent money in your name as you know. I will not speak of him now but of your wealth, little though you may grasp of such matters. Thanks to me you are richer than many Egyptian nobles. Wealth means possession not of gold but of houses and stores and ships and quays, cattle and land and orchards and slaves. You own all these although you may be unaware of it since I have been compelled to enter many items in the names of servants and scribes to evade taxation. Pharaoh’s taxes bear hardly upon the well-to-do who must pay more than the poor, so while a poor man hands over one fifth of his grain, a rich man is compelled to give a third or even half. This is iniquity-the most godless iniquity of all that Pharaoh has perpetrated. This and the loss of Syria have beggared the country. What is strangest of all as national wealth decreases, the poor become poorer than before and the rich become richer. Not even Pharaoh can alter this.”
Having drunk once more Kaptah began to boast of his dealings in grain.
“Our scarab, lord, is strange in that on the first day of our return from our travels it brought me to the wine shop patronized by corn merchants. I began at once to purchase grain on your behalf and already in the first year was able to make a profit since Am-I mean certain large pieces of land lay fallow and unsown as you know. Grain is a remarkable commodity in that it may be bought and sold before it is ever sown, and also because its price rises from year to year as by witchcraft so that the buyer cannot help making a profit. For this reason I do not intend to sell but shall continue to buy it and store it in my granaries until the price by measure is paid in gold, as is bound to happen if this state of things continues.”
Kaptah, having examined my face, poured out more wine for all three of us and went on gravely, “However, no man stakes all he has on a single throw, and so I have spread your profits evenly among many ventures so as to play as it were with several dice on your behalf, my dear lord. I have stolen no more from you than formerly-not half what I have earned for you by my sagacity; hardly even a third, although I know of no one from whom it would be more rewarding to steal, my dear and blessed lord Sinuhe.”
Merit leaned back on her mat, smiling, and laughed aloud at my bewildered expression as I sought to grasp all that Kaptah was saying. He continued his explanations.
“You must understand, lord, that when I speak of profits I mean net profits, all that is left after taxation. I have also had to subtract certain presents for the taxation officers because of my Syrian bookkeeping and great quantities of wine with which it was needful to ply them to make them squint when they examined my figures. That alone was no small item, for they are astute men with unusual powers of resistance; they grow fat in their profession. From time to time I have distributed grain to the poor that they might bless my name. When times are unsettled, it is well to live in harmony with the poor. This distribution of grain is an excellent stroke of business since Pharaoh in his madness allows a rebate on all corn so distributed.
When I give a measure of grain to a poor man, I cause him to testify with his thumbprint that he has received five measures, for the poor cannot read-and if they could they would be so thankful for one measure that they would bless my name and press their fingers at the foot of any document I put before them.”
When Kaptah had delivered himself of all this he folded his arms in a challenging manner, puffed out his chest, and awaited my praise. But his words had set my mind to work and I thought hard for some time. At length I asked, “Then we have large stocks of grain?”
Kaptah nodded vigorously, still awaiting my commendation, but I went on, “If such is the case you must hasten to the settlers who are cultivating the accursed land and distribute the grain among them for seed, for they have none. What corn they have is speckled as if blood had rained on it. The river has fallen, and the time of plowing and sowing has come; you must go in haste.”
Kaptah regarded me compassionately with a shake of the head, and said, “My dear lord, you should not vex your valuable head with matters you do not understand, but let me do your thinking for you. The matter stands thus: We dealers first profited from the settlers by lending grain to them, for they were compelled by poverty to pay back two measures for every one borrowed. If they were unable to pay, we made them slaughter their cattle and took the hides in payment for debt. When grain increased in price, this arrangement became unprofitable, and it is now to our advantage to let as much land as possible remain unsown this spring so that the price of grain may rise still higher. Let us therefore not be such maniacs as to lend the settlers corn for sowing, for that would be to damage our own interests, and- I should make enemies of all the corn merchants.”
But in this I was resolute, and I said sharply, “Do as I order, Kaptah, for the grain is mine, and I am not thinking now of profits but of men whose ribs show through their skins like the ribs of miners-of women whose breasts hang like empty bags-of children walking bowlegged on the river bank, their eyes crawling with flies. It is my will that you should divide this grain among them for sowing and that you should help them by every means to get it sown. I desire you to do this for Aton’s sake and for the sake of Pharaoh Akhnaton, whom I love. Do not give it to them free, for I have seen how gifts breed laziness and ill will and sloth and greed. Were they not given land and cattle for nothing? And still they failed. Use your stick on them, Kaptah, if it be needful. See to it that the corn is sown and reaped. When you come to claim your own again, I will permit you to rake nothing of! for yourself: you will take from them one measure for every one lent.”
When Kaptah heard this he tore his clothes and lamented.
“Measure for measure, lord? Madness, for where am I to steal if not from your profits? In other respects also your talk is foolish and godless. Besides the corn merchants I shall have the priests of Ammon against me-and I may safely speak his name aloud now that we are sitting in a closed room with none to hear or inform against me. I call his name aloud, lord, for he lives still,- and his power is more formidable than ever before. He curses our houses and our ships and our warehouses and shops-this tavern he curses also so that it may be wise to transfer it to Merit’s name if she agrees-and I am indeed thankful so much of your property is entered under other names so that the priests cannot le
arn of it and call down maledictions on it.”
Kaptah babbled on to gain time in the hope that I should repent of my purpose. When he saw that I was resolved, he swore bitterly and said, “Have you been bitten by a mad dog, lord? Or stung by a scorpion? I thought at first that this was some feeble jest of yours. The plan will make us poor; nevertheless perhaps the scarab can help us. Moreover-to be quite frank-I do not like to look on thin people myself but turn my eyes the other way. I wish that you would do the same, for what a man doesn’t see he need never know. I have soothed my conscience by the distribution of grain among the poor since this was profitable. What I most dislike about your plan is that you require me to venture on uncomfortable journeys and tramp about in the mud, where doubtless I shall stumble and fall into some irrigation ditch-and then you will have my life upon your conscience, lord, for I am a tired old man, and my limbs are stiff. I should miss my soft couch and Muti’s soups and steaks; also walking makes me breathless.”
But I was pitiless.
“You are a bigger liar than ever, Kaptah, for you have grown younger during these years instead of older. Your hands do not tremble as they did, nor was your eye red when you first came in, but only now since you have drunk too much wine. As a physician I prescribe this uncomfortable journey for you because of the love I bear you. You are altogether too fat, which is a strain on your heart and constricts your breathing. I hope that you will thin down in the course of this expedition and become a respectable human being once more so that I need not blush for my servant’s obesity. Don’t you remember how we rejoiced as we walked the dusty Babylonian roads-with what rapture you rode your donkey among the mountains of Lebanon, and with what even greater rapture you descended from the beast in Kadesh? Truly, if I were younger-that is, had I not so many important missions to fulfill here on Pharaoh’s behalf-I would come with you myself, for many will bless your name because of this journey.”
We wrangled no more, and Kaptah resigned himself to the project. Late into the night we sat drinking. Merit also drank, and she bared her brown skin that I might brush it with my lips. Kaptah recited his memories of the roads and threshing floors of Babylonia. If he had accomplished as much as he claimed, then my love for Minea must have rendered me blind and deaf at the time. For I did not forget Minea although I lay that night on Merit’s mat and took pleasure with her so that my heart was warmed and my loneliness melted away. Nevertheless, I did not call her my sister, but lay with her because she was my friend, and she did for me the friendliest thing that a woman may do for a man. I was willing to break the jar with her, but she would not, saying that she was tavern bred and I too wealthy and eminent a man for her. But I think it was that she desired her freedom and my continued friendship.
4
On the following day I had to visit the golden house for an audience of the Queen Mother, whom all Thebes now called the black witch. I think that despite her ability and-/isdom she had earned the name. She was a merciless old plotter. The great power she wielded had shriveled every good quality.
When I had returned to the ship, changed into royal linen, and assumed the symbols of my dignity, my cook Muti came from the copperfounder’s house in a great rage and said to me, “Blessed be the day that brought you home, lord, but is it in any way fitting that you should go rioting among the pleasure houses all night without even coming home for breakfast, although I have taken very great pains to prepare the food you like? Moreover, I stayed up all night to bake and roast and have thrashed the idle slaves to speed them with the cleaning of the house, until my right arm aches with weariness. I am now an old woman and have lost my faith in men, nor have you done anything to raise my opinion of them. Come home now, and eat the breakfast I have prepared for you-and bring the harlot with you if you cannot bear to be parted from her even for a day.”
Such were her words although she held Merit in high honor and admired her. It was her way of talking, to which I had grown accustomed. Her acrimony was melodious to me, making me feel that I had come home. Having sent word to Merit at the Crocodile’s Tail, I went with her willingly.
She walked with dragging feet beside my chair and kept up a constant muttering: “I hoped that you had settled down and learned to behave decently during your long sojourn among royalty, but it is plain that you have done nothing of the kind and are as unruly as before. Yet I seemed to read peace and composure in your face yesterday. I was also glad to note that your cheeks were somewhat plumper, for when a man grows fat he grows tranquil. It will certainly not be my fault if you lose weight here in Thebes, but the fault of your own graceless courses. All men are alike and all evil in the world springs from the little tool they hide beneath their loincloths because they are ashamed of it-as well they may be.”
So incessant was her nagging that I was reminded of my mother Kipa. I should certainly have been moved to tears had I not quickly snapped at her, “Shut your mouth, woman, for your chatter disturbs my thoughts and is like the buzz of flies in my ear.”
She fell silent at once, delighted at having teased me into shouting at her and so making her feel that the master had indeed come home.
She had prepared the house very handsomely for my reception. Bunches of flowers were tied to the pillars of the entrance, the garden was swept, and the carcass of a cat that had lain before my door now lay before that of the neighbor. She had hired children to stand in the street and shout “Blessed the day that brings our lord home!” She had done this because she was indignant that I had no children of my own; she would have liked me to have some if they could have been obtained without a wife. I gave the children copper, and Muti distributed honey cakes among them, and they went away rejoicing.
Then Merit came, very beautifully arrayed and with flowers in her hair, and her hair gleamed with perfumed oil so that Muti sniffed and wiped her nose as she poured water over our hands. The food she had prepared for us was sweet to my palate, for it was Theban food. In Akhetaton I had forgotten that nowhere in the world is there to be found such food as in Thebes.
I thanked Muti and praised her skill, which delighted her although she tried to scowl and snort, and Merit complimented her also.
Whether this meal in the copperfounder’s house was in any way memorable or noteworthy I do not know. I mention it for my own sake because it was then I felt happy, and I said, “Stay your course, water clock, for this hour is a good hour. Let it never pass.”
While we were eating, people had gathered in my courtyard: people from the poor quarter, who had arrayed themselves in their best clothes and come to greet me and to bewail their aches and pains.
They said, “We have sorely missed you, Sinuhe. While you dwelled among us we did not value you at your true worth. Only when you had gone did we perceive how much good you did us, and how much we lost in losing you.”
They brought me presents, very modest ones, for these people were poorer than ever because of Pharaoh Akhnaton’s god. Among them was the old scribe who held his head askew because of the growth in his neck; I was astonished to find him still alive. There also was the slave whose fingers I had healed; he held them up proudly and moved them before my eyes. A mother showed me her son who had grown up handsome and sturdy; he had a black eye, and there were scars on his legs, and he told me he could thrash any boy of his size in the neighborhood.
And there was the girl whose eyes I had healed and who ill repaid me by sending to me all the other girls from the pleasure house, that I might remove disfiguring birthmarks and warts from their skin. She had prospered, having earned enough to buy a public bath near the market, where she also sold perfumes and supplied the merchants with the addresses of young and free-hearted girls.
All brought gifts, saying, “Do not scorn our presents, Sinuhe, royal physician though you be and a dweller in Pharaoh’s golden house, for our hearts rejoice to see you, so long as you do not speak to us of Aton.”
I did not so speak but received them one by one, according to their ailments. I lis
tened to their woes, prescribed for them, and gave them treatment. Merit put off her beautiful dress in order to help me. She bathed their sores, purified my knife in fire, and mixed narcotic drinks for those who were to have a tooth extracted. Whenever I looked at her I was glad-and I looked at her often as we worked, for she was fair and shapely. Her bearing was graceful and she was not ashamed to put aside her dress to work, as poor women do, nor did any of my patients wonder at it, being too much concerned with their own troubles.
The day wore on while I received patients and talked to them as in former times, rejoicing in my knowledge when I could effect their cure. Often I drew full breath and said, “Stay your course, water clock; water, cease your flow, for not many of my hours will be so fair.” I forgot the visit that I must pay to the Queen Mother, who had been informed of my arrival. I think I forgot because I had no wish to remember, being happy.
By the time the shadows lengthened, the last of my patients had left the court. Merit poured water over my hands and helped me to cleanse myself. With gladness I did the same for her, and we dressed.
When I would have stroked her cheek and brushed her mouth with mine, she pushed me away, saying, “Make haste to visit your witch, Sinuhe, and lose no time, that you may return before nightfall. My sleeping mat awaits you with impatience. Yes, I feel that the mat in my room awaits you very eagerly-though why this should be I do not know. Your limbs are soft, Sinuhe, and your flesh flabby, nor are your caresses in any way remarkable. Nevertheless, to me you are different from all other men, and I can well understand the feelings of my mat.”
She hung the symbols of my dignity about my neck and set the doctor’s wig on my head, stroking my cheeks as she did so so that despite my dread of the Queen Mother’s anger I had no wish to leave Merit and go to the golden house. But I urged my bearers and my oarsmen until we came alongside the palace walls. My boat touched at the landing stage just as the sun was setting behind the western hills, and the first stars appeared.