by Joan Jonker
Steve chuckled. ‘It’s got nothing to do with me, Mam, so it wasn’t my place to tell yer.’
‘What d’yer mean, it’s nothing to do with you! Yer’ve made a baby so it’s got everything to do with you! Now just go home and tell yer dad.’
Molly touched her arm. ‘Nellie, it’s Doreen that’s having the baby.’ And she went on to explain why her daughter and Phil had tried for a baby so soon after getting married.
This really found Nellie’s soft spot. As the tears started to trickle slowly down her chubby cheeks, she gulped, ‘Look what yer’ve gone and made me do now, yer silly buggers. And I haven’t got no hankie with me, either.’
Steve came to her rescue. ‘Here yer are, Mam, use mine, it’s clean. And I don’t know what ye’re crying for, it’s supposed to be a happy occasion.’
‘I know that, son, and as soon as I’ve blown me nose, I’ll tell Doreen and Phil how happy I am for them. And after that I’ll be reminding you of the little arrangement me and yer mother-in-law had when we first got married.’
Molly frowned and scratched her head. ‘Oh, aye, what arrangement was that, sunshine?’
‘Yer know very well what it was! A year after Steve was born, you had Jill. Then the year after, I had Lily and you had Doreen. The following year it was Paul and Tommy. I’m leaving Ruthie out of it ’cos I had nothing to do with yer having a baby after an interval of seven years.’
Not so long ago, this conversation would have had Jill blushing to the roots of her hair. But since marrying Steve, and getting used to her mother-in-law, she’d gained confidence and come out of her shell. ‘What’s this got to do with Steve, Auntie Nellie?’
‘Well, it’s like this, girl. Me and me mate will want it to run in the family. To be passed down, like, yer know? So when Doreen’s baby is twelve months old, I’ll expect to be a grandma to the latest edition to the McDonough family. And I don’t mean fifteen months or two years, I mean dead on twelve months.’ Nellie’s eyes met her son’s. ‘D’yer think yer can manage that, Steve, or shall I buy yer a book on how it’s done?’
The loudest laugh came from him. ‘Me and Jill would like to oblige, Mam, but I’m afraid a house comes before a baby. We’ve got to get our priorities right.’
‘Lizzie Corkhill wouldn’t mind yer having a baby, she’d be over the moon! Ask her if yer don’t believe me.’
‘That’s enough, Nellie, ye’re going too far,’ Molly said, thanking God Ruthie wasn’t there. ‘I should have left it till tomorrow to tell yer ’cos we’ve wasted a lot of time now. We were discussing Tommy and Rosie’s wedding when Doreen dropped her bombshell and everything else was forgotten. My mind’s in a whirl – I still can’t get used to the idea of my daughter becoming a mother. It seems no time at all since she was at school. But for the time being, we’ll have to put that aside and talk about the wedding. And when yer’ve all gone home me and Jack will sit quietly and talk about how much we’re looking forward to the day when our first grandchild is born.’
‘Oh, God,’ Nellie groaned, letting her head drop into her hands. ‘That’s all I’m going to get off her for the next nine months. She hasn’t got much of a chest, nothing worth talking about, but she’ll be sticking it out as far as it’ll go, and bragging to anyone who’ll listen to her. Yer’d think she was the only one ever to become a grandmother. If she starts looking down her nose at me, so help me, I’ll clock her one.’
Molly raised her brows. ‘Have yer got it all off yer chest now, sunshine? Are yer finished?’
‘Yes, I’ve finished, girl.’ Nellie sounded very docile. ‘You lot carry on and I’ll just sit here taking it all in. But I’ll be quite happy to help if yer need any advice. Molly won’t be much use now, her head’s in the clouds and she won’t be thinking straight. But I’m here if yer need me, and yer all know I’m a dab hand at arranging weddings.’
Molly gasped. ‘Yer’ve never arranged a wedding in yer life!’
‘I got George to the church on time, didn’t I? I wouldn’t let him go with his best man in case he passed a pub on the way and decided he’d rather have a pint than get married. So to make sure, we went to the church together ’cos I didn’t want to let him out of me sight until I had the ring on me finger.’ Nellie hoisted her bosom and folded her arms under it before sitting back in the chair. ‘And besides, Molly Bennett, who had the best hat on at yer daughter’s wedding? I did, that’s who! It’s me what’s got the best taste.’
Molly sighed. They’d never get anywhere while her mate sat there telling stories to make them laugh. This wasn’t a party, they were all here to sort out the details of Rosie and Tommy’s wedding. ‘Nellie, will yer put the kettle on and make us a cup of tea?’ Then she remembered how heavy-handed her friend was with crockery. ‘Give us a shout when the tea’s ready and I’ll lend yer a hand with the cups.’
Nellie shuffled to the edge of the chair and pushed herself up with both hands. Then she glanced at Tommy. ‘Am I invited to this wedding, lad?’
‘Of course yer are, Auntie Nellie! Ye’re top of the guest list.’
Looking very pleased with herself, Nellie smiled sweetly. ‘For that compliment, lad, I’ll put two spoonfuls of sugar in yer tea. But don’t tell yer mam or she’ll have me life.’
The next morning, Molly crossed the street to Victoria Clegg’s house. She hadn’t slept much, thinking about her daughter expecting a baby, and she wanted to have a word with Doreen to make sure the girl understood that in her condition she mustn’t be shifting heavy furniture around, or climbing ladders to clean the high windows.
‘Ye’re an early bird, Mam,’ Doreen said, holding the door wide to let her mother pass. ‘Is everything all right?’
‘Of course it is, sunshine! It’s just that we didn’t get much chance to talk last night, what with one thing and another, so I thought I’d nip over before Nellie calls for me to go to the shops.’ Molly smiled at Victoria who was seated at the table finishing her breakfast. The old lady didn’t come downstairs as early as she used to as it took her much longer nowadays to get washed and dressed. After giving her a hug, Molly asked, ‘Well, what d’yer think of the news, eh? I bet yer were as surprised as we were?’
‘Perhaps I’m being selfish, Molly, but I am so happy. I just pray that God spares me long enough to see and hold the baby.’
‘Victoria Clegg, what sort of talk is that? The way you’re going on, yer’ll still be here to see the child starting school! And yer’d better be here for our Tommy’s wedding, too, or he’ll never speak to yer again.’
The faded blue eyes crinkled. ‘I’d better pull me socks up then, hadn’t I? I wouldn’t like it if Tommy wasn’t speaking to me.’
Molly pulled out a chair. ‘Yer could have knocked me over with a feather when Phil came out with it last night. And as for Jack, he’s gone to work in a daze. As I was waving him off, I heard him muttering, “I’m going to be a granddad, I’m going to be a granddad!” And there was a spring in his step. Usually he has to walk quick to keep up with Tommy, but it was the other way around this morning. He is one very happy man.’
Doreen leaned back against the sideboard and folded her arms. ‘I’m sorry it came out when it did, Mam, me and Phil were going to tell you and me dad before anyone else. But it couldn’t be helped, I had to say I couldn’t be a matron of honour ’cos the baby will be about two months old then. I feel a bit sad at not being there for Tommy and Rosie, but I’m not sad about the baby, I’m delighted. So is Phil, he’s got a permanent smile on his face.’
Victoria was picking at the tablecloth and there was a hint of devilment in her eyes. ‘I had an idea weeks ago that yer were pregnant, Doreen, because there was something different about yer. I couldn’t put me finger on it at first, then I noticed yer face was filling out a little and yer seemed to be so contented with life.’
‘Well, yer sly old thing!’ Doreen moved to the back of the old lady’s chair and put her arms around her. ‘Yer probably knew before we did, ’cos we weren
’t really sure until I saw the doctor yesterday.’
‘I hope he told yer to take things easy, sunshine,’ Molly said. ‘No lifting or moving heavy furniture or standing on ladders.’
Her daughter grinned. ‘He told me to be careful, that’s all. And to go back in a couple of months for an examination.’
Molly dropped her eyes. She wasn’t going to mar her daughter’s happiness by telling her what that examination would entail. And that if she’d thought telling her parents about the baby was embarrassing, then it was nothing to what was to come. It was something every expectant mother had to go through, but knowing that wasn’t any consolation. ‘I’ll come with yer next time, sunshine, just to keep yer company. But in the meanwhile I’ll be keeping me eye on yer.’
‘So will I, Molly, so don’t you worry,’ Victoria said. ‘I’ll make sure she doesn’t overdo it.’
‘Blimey! Phil’s at me all the time, and now you two! I suppose it is all right if I breathe?’ Doreen was smiling when she spoke. Now the ordeal of telling her parents about the baby was over, she felt relieved and light-hearted. ‘By the way, Mam, was anything settled about bridesmaids after me and Phil left last night?’
Molly shook her head. ‘No, it got too late. I’m going into Hanley’s this morning to book the reception, so that’ll be one job done. Then I’ll go round to see Tommy and Rosie tonight about bridesmaids. We’ll sort something out because I want them to have as nice a wedding as you and Jill had.’
‘If there’s any dresses to be made, Mam, I’ll do them willingly,’ Doreen said. ‘I want to make up for not being able to be a matron of honour.’
‘We’ll see, sunshine, there’s a long way to go yet.’ Molly pushed her chair back and got to her feet. ‘I’d better get going before Nellie comes looking for me. If she got settled down here I’d never be able to shift her.’ She gave Victoria a kiss and whispered in her ear, ‘Me mate’s going mad because I’ll be a grandmother before her.’
‘Her turn will come.’ Victoria patted her wispy white hair. ‘She’ll not be far behind yer.’
Molly chuckled. ‘Poor Steve will be getting a dog’s life off her. Thank God he can give as good as he gets and anything she says just rolls off his back. They want a house before they start a family and nothing Nellie says will alter that.’
Doreen happened to glance through the window then and she began to giggle. ‘Auntie Nellie’s looking through yer window, Mam. She must have knocked and got no answer so she’s trying to see through the net curtains.’
‘I’m off then. If she comes over here and plonks her backside down, there’ll be no shifting her. I’ll see yer later, ta-ra.’
Doreen held out her hand to the old lady. ‘Come to the window, Aunt Vicky, and we’ll spy on them. Just look at me Auntie Nellie. This should be interesting.’
Nellie was halfway across the cobbled street when Molly appeared. Folding her arms, the little woman asked, ‘Where the hell have yer been? I’ve been knocking on yer door for the last half hour and nobody answered.’
‘Well, they wouldn’t, would they, seeing as there’s no one in. I slipped across to see me daughter and I didn’t think I had to ask your permission.’
‘Don’t be so sarky, smart arse! Why didn’t yer knock for me and I could have come over with yer?’
‘There was no reason for yer to come, that’s why! And yer haven’t been knocking for half an hour ’cos I’ve only been out twenty minutes at the most.’ Molly had her back to Miss Clegg’s window but she knew the old lady and Doreen would be watching. So she thought she’d give them something to laugh at. ‘Anyway, I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Yer wouldn’t have been interested in anything that’s been said.’
‘How d’yer know I wouldn’t?’ Nellie put on her posh voice. ‘For your hinformation, I might have been hextremely hinterested.’ A sharp nod of her head set her chins swaying. ‘So there, smart arse.’
‘I can’t imagine what would have interested yer. My daughter told me last night that she was expecting a baby so this morning I went over to see how she was. Okay?’
The chins weren’t swaying now, they were really dancing. ‘Oh, I might have known I’d get this this morning. I told my George yer’d be bragging. I suppose yer’ll be stopping everyone in the street and telling them ye’re going to be a grandmother while I stand next to yer, like a lemon, with a smile stuck on me gob. Well, to save yer the bother, and stop me from getting earache, I’ll do the job for yer.’ Without further ado, Nellie cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled at the top of her voice: ‘Oyez! Oyez! Oyez!’ Then she began to swing her arm up and down as though she was ringing an imaginary bell. ‘Friends, Romans and countrymen, lend me your ears.’
Molly’s feet didn’t touch the ground as she made for her own house. After putting the key in the lock and throwing the door open, she dashed back and grabbed Nellie’s hand. ‘Yer’ll have the whole street out if yer keep that up.’
The sharp tug on her arm took Nellie by surprise and she would have toppled over if Molly hadn’t held on tight. As it was, her body was almost horizontal, except for her bosom and chins which followed the law of gravity. ‘What the flaming hell are yer trying to do, Molly Bennett, kill me?’
‘Stand up, Nellie, and stop acting daft.’ Molly was holding her off the ground with one hand gripping her friend’s, and the other supporting her upper arm. ‘Use yer feet as a lever and push yerself up that way.’
‘I can’t, girl, yer’ll have to pull me up.’ Nellie was laughing silently. Her mate looked worried to death, but she didn’t care if she fell on the cobblestones ’cos she only had her old coat on and it was ready for the rag and bone man anyway. ‘Go on, girl, yer can do it.’
There was no way Molly could lift eighteen stone on her own. And she certainly wasn’t going to shout for Doreen to give her a hand. But help came along in the shape of their new neighbour, Beryl Mowbray. She had just closed the door behind her when she saw this amazing sight, and it looked so comical she almost burst out laughing. But she remembered she was new around here and didn’t want to make enemies.
‘D’yer want a hand, queen?’
‘Of course she does, soft girl,’ Nellie said. ‘Yer don’t think I’m lying here for the good of me health, do yer?’
‘From the position of yer, I thought yer were lying on a couch.’ Beryl was having a hard time trying to keep her face straight. ‘Yer remind me of Mae West, stretched out on a posh couch and saying, “Come up and see me some time”.’
‘Will yer leave the compliments until I’m standing up, girl, and then I’m sure I’ll appreciate them more. Get me up quick, ’cos there’s two women walking down the street.’
‘Beryl, will you put yer arms around her waist, sunshine, and see if we can lift her between us?’ It was a struggle because Nellie, enjoying herself no end, deliberately let her body go limp and was a dead weight. By the time she was upright, her two neighbours were red in the face and puffing like steam engines.
‘There yer are, that wasn’t too bad, was it?’ Nellie was brushing herself down when the two women she’d seen came abreast. ‘Good morning, ladies! Nice morning, isn’t it?’
‘Not bad, girl, not bad,’ one of the women answered, curiosity in her eyes. ‘Did yer fall over, Nellie?’
‘No, did I heckerslike! I was doing me Mae West impersonation for me two mates. And they laughed so much they’ve worn themselves out.’ Nellie gave them her most charming smile. ‘I’ll do it for yer some time, if yer like, Josie?’
Josie linked her friend’s arm and began to hurry away. ‘Yeah, that would be great, Nellie!’ And the two women covered the ground to the main road in record time.
‘Thanks for yer help, Beryl,’ Molly said. ‘I’d never have made it without yer.’
‘Think nothing of it, queen, it was lucky I came out when I did. Now I’ll be on me way to the shops to get something in for the dinner.’
‘Oh, before yer go, Beryl,’ Nellie said, ‘Moll
y got some good news last night, didn’t yer, girl? Her daughter’s expecting a baby in May and my mate will be a grandma then.’
‘Oh, that’s nice, Molly, congratulations.’
‘Thanks, Beryl, I’m really made up about it.’ Molly turned and glared at her friend. ‘Come in with me, sunshine, while I get me purse and basket.’
‘Yea, and I’ll use yer lavvy, girl, ’cos I’m dying to spend a penny. We’ll see yer, Beryl, ta-ra for now.’
Across the street, Doreen let the curtain fall back into place. Her eyes were red after she’d wiped away tears of laughter. ‘Have yer ever in yer life seen anything like it, Aunt Vicky?’
‘Yes, sweetheart, I’ve been seeing it for nigh on twenty-five years now. Without yer mam and Auntie Nellie, I’d have been a lonely old woman with nothing in life to laugh about. They’ve given me so much enjoyment, and so much love as well.’ Victoria let herself sink gently into her rocking chair. ‘It’s funny how life works, isn’t it? If it wasn’t for Phil stopping his rotter of a step-brother from trying to rob me one night, I would never have met him. And through him you’ve been brought into my life, giving me the family I never had. I’m a very lucky woman with a lot to thank God for.’
Doreen could feel a lump forming in her throat. ‘Aunt Vicky, we’ve all got a lot to thank God for.’
‘Jack, I’m slipping round to me ma’s for half an hour,’ Molly said that night as she came through from the kitchen drying her hands. ‘Nothing was settled last night because we were taken off track by Doreen’s news. Besides, there were too many here to have a serious talk.’
‘Why didn’t yer go round with Tommy, then?’
‘I had a few things to rinse through and I didn’t want to leave them until tomorrow. I’ve got some good news for Tommy and Rosie but I didn’t tell him because I want them to hear it together.’ She sat on the arm of the couch near her husband and after leaning forward to kiss him, said, ‘I saw Edna Hanley today and booked their reception.’
Jack looked pleased. ‘That’s good, love, they’ll be over the moon.’