But why do I care? I’m not attracted to him. Nope. Not at all.
I need to get this over with.
“Okay, let’s do this before I lose my nerve,” I say. “Although, are we going to smoke it inside?”
“Well, I do know your landlord pretty well, and I don’t think he’s going to get mad,” he says with a grin. “But if you’re worried about the smell, we can do it out back and then come in.”
I’m so nervous, my hands are trembling, but I follow Lucas out the back door to the small concrete patio. We sit on either side of my bistro table, and Lucas pulls out a lighter.
“Ready?” he asks.
“No.”
He just laughs and lights the end of the joint. He takes a long drag and pulls the end out of his mouth, hesitating for several seconds before exhaling. The pungent sweet smell wafts over to me and I resist the urge to cough and wave my hand in front of my face.
“I have no idea how to do this. I’ve never even smoked a cigarette.” My eyes widen. “Oh, no. You aren’t going to make me do that too, are you?”
Lucas shakes his head. “Nah, there’s nothing exciting about cigarettes. Plus, they stink.”
And this doesn’t? Although the smell isn’t completely unpleasant. It’s sort of earthy with a hint of something sweet, almost like berries.
“All right, darling,” he says, holding the joint out to me across the table. “Your turn.”
I take it from him and pinch it between my thumb and index finger.
“Just put the tip in your mouth and suck in a little,” Lucas says.
Please tell me it’s normal that the first thing I think of is his cock in my mouth. That’s what anyone would think upon hearing the phrase put the tip in your mouth and suck, right?
No? Just me?
I put the joint between my lips and suck some air through it. The smoke slides through my mouth and into my lungs. At first I’m afraid I’ll cough and choke, but it’s smoother than I thought it would be. I try to mimic Lucas and hold my breath for a few seconds before exhaling, but I don’t last very long. I blow out the smoke, marveling at the look of it as it clouds in front of my face.
Holy shit. I just did that.
I also said shit in my head, like it’s part of my normal vocabulary.
I pass the joint back to Lucas and he takes a longer drag, then blows it out. “See, this isn’t so scary.”
He’s right, it isn’t scary. In fact, I don’t feel a thing. I look around the dark yard, expecting to be hit with a sudden sense of… something. Euphoria? Giggles? Hunger? But I feel totally normal.
“Here, have a little more,” he says.
I take another hit and blow out the smoke. It’s easier this time. I sit back in my chair and try to analyze whether I’m feeling high or not. I still can’t tell.
“Should I feel something yet?” I ask.
“Give it a minute.” He takes another drag.
We pass the joint back and forth a couple more times. I watch Lucas lick his lips before he puts it between them. They press together as he breathes in. His mouth is fascinating. It’s almost like he’s moving in slow motion. He puts the joint down and blows out the smoke, then turns and gives me a lazy smile.
“What do you think?”
“I don’t feel anything,” I say. “But you know what’s weird? I don’t smell it anymore. At first, I could totally smell the smoke, but it’s like now I can’t. Why is that? It has such a strong smell, but somehow it’s just gone.”
He drags his teeth over his lower lip and touches my hand. “That’s because you’re high.”
“But I’m really not. I feel so normal. Although I’m wondering why you didn’t buy a building closer to the beach. We can’t even hear the waves from here. What is it, about a mile walk? Have you ever walked to the beach from here? Does the road go straight there, or do you have to take a lot of turns? Because that would make it longer.”
Lucas laughs and trails his finger over the back of my hand. “You’re so fucking high. It’s making you all talky.”
I snatch my hand away. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not talky. I’m normal. This is me, all the time. I’m always like this. I don’t feel—”
I stop mid-sentence, because not only do I realize he’s right—it is making me talky—I don’t feel normal. Not at all.
It’s as if all my muscles are uncoiling, releasing little knots of tension I didn’t even know were there. My back loosens, and my limbs feel light. The beginning of a headache I had earlier is completely gone and a sense of calmness steals over me. My mind is clear, relaxed, and yet somehow buzzing with thought. I open my mouth, but stop myself from talking again. I’m still aware enough to know that if I start, I’ll launch into another barrage of sentences that may or may not make any sense.
I don’t actually hallucinate—I’m not really seeing things that aren’t there—but it seems as if there are little flares of light in the air, just at the edges of my vision. It’s intriguing, and I blink a few times, trying to bring them into focus.
Lucas is still smiling at me.
“What?” I ask. The urge to keep talking seems to be fading, because I don’t say anything else.
He laughs and rests his head against the back of the chair. His eyes are sleepy and he taps his fingers absently on the table. “Nothing. How do you feel?”
“Really good.” My voice sounds odd and far away. “I’m so relaxed. I feel like… like I don’t care about anything.”
I let my eyes drift closed and have the sudden sensation that I’m moving. I gasp and open them again, but I’m still sitting in the chair.
“You okay?” he asks.
I close my eyes again to see what happens. It feels like I’m climbing a roller coaster. “That’s so weird. When I close my eyes I feel like I’m moving.”
“That is weird,” he says. “Do you know what I want?”
“No, what?”
He grins. “I don’t know either. I was hoping you did.”
We both erupt with laughter. I’m not sure why it’s funny, but it’s absolutely the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Our eyes meet across the table, and somehow that’s funny. We’re overtaken with a renewed bout of giggles.
“Man, I am high as fuck,” Lucas says. “Those guys at the store didn’t steer me wrong.”
I can’t seem to stop smiling. “Am I high as fuck too?”
Lucas doubles over with laughter. “Oh my god, Becca, I love it when you swear. It’s like hearing a fucking Disney princess say a dirty word.”
That makes me laugh again, and I cover my mouth to stifle the giggles. I have to be careful not to close my eyes for too long, or I feel like I’m going to fall over.
“Come on, let’s go inside,” he says. “I think we’ve had plenty.”
We go in and stretch out on the couch, all smiles and laughs, and start talking about… who even knows. We talk about my apartment, the way the sand feels between your toes when you walk on the beach, and some weird TV show Lucas used to love but can’t remember what it was called. There’s an awareness in the back of my head that maybe I’m not making a lot of sense, but Lucas seems to understand every word. He nods and smiles, looking at me through half-lidded eyes, his hands behind his head.
My god, he’s beautiful. His face is literally perfect, with this jawline that someone should paint because it’s so gorgeous. Fucking gorgeous, let’s just put it out there. He always has what looks like a couple days’ growth of stubble, not much more, and it emphasizes the lines of his face without overwhelming his good looks. His eyes are this beautiful shade of hazel—sometimes they seem brown, other times green. And don’t even get me started on his body. I don’t want to admit how many times I’ve pictured him naked, wondering what he looks like under his shirt.
Or under his pants.
I think he just asked me a question, because he’s looking at me with his eyebrows raised, like he’s expecting an answe
r. I glance down at the bag of Doritos in my lap. It’s half gone, and I have no memory of eating a single one. But my fingers are stained orange, and when I lick my lips, I taste the salty processed cheese flavor.
“What?”
“Can I have the chips?”
“Oh, right.” I pass him the chips and he hands me an Oreo, and it’s definitely not the first one I’ve eaten.
My head is sort of dreamy, and the edges of my vision are tinged with a misty haze. Lucas turns on a movie, but my mind is fuzzy, so it’s hard to pay attention. We sit on opposite ends of the couch, our feet tangled together, passing food back and forth. This is a lot of touching for us, but I don’t feel awkward about the way he keeps rubbing his toes against my feet. It’s the most normal thing in the world.
Plastic crinkles, and I wake up with a start. I don’t remember falling asleep, but Lucas takes the bag of gummy bears off my chest where it almost spilled, and puts it on the coffee table.
“Our movie is over. And you keep falling asleep,” he says with a smile.
“Sorry,” I say. “Am I still high?”
He laughs. “Yeah, we both are. It makes me sleepy too, after a while. I’m going to head home and crash. Do you want to go upstairs, or just stay here?”
I roll onto my side and close my eyes. It’s way too much work to get up. Or answer his question.
A minute later, I feel a blanket settle over the top of me. Lucas pulls it up to my chin and tucks it in around my body. His hand brushes against my face, moving my hair back.
“Night,” he says, his voice soft.
“Goodnight,” I mumble, but I think he’s already gone.
11
Lucas
Gabe texts me mid-afternoon, letting me know that our regular Thursday pub night has been moved to Danny’s Tavern. Apparently Finn wants a change of scenery. Can’t say I blame him. He spends a lot of time at his pub—although less now that he’s with Juliet, which is probably good for him.
I think about asking Becca if she wants to come, but I glance out my front window and don’t see her car. Plus, the guys would probably give me shit if I bring her. It isn’t so much that pub night—or tavern night, as it were—has to be guys only. Juliet has hung out with us on Thursday nights a few times, and it’s cool. But Gabe and Finn have been giving me a hard time about hanging out with Becca so much. Last week they wouldn’t stop drilling me with questions about her, like they were trying to get me to admit there’s something going on between us that isn’t.
Still, it’s disappointing that she’s not home. Maybe I’ll text her later and see if she wants to come join us.
I head out around nine and find a spot in front of Danny’s. There are quite a few other cars here—kind of surprising for a Thursday, even in the summer. But the town has been packed this week. I’m surprised Finn and Gabe are both taking a night off.
Inside, most of the tables are taken, and the barstools are all full. I find Finn and Gabe sitting at a table, a couple of empties already in front of them. I veer toward the bar and get a beer before I join them.
“Hey.” I sit down and take a swig. “What’s up tonight?”
“Not much,” Finn says. “The fucking stove went out at the pub, so I spent all day fixing it. I had to get out of there or I was going to punch someone.”
I nod. “Fair enough.”
“So what’s up with you?” Gabe asks. “I’m surprised you came tonight.”
“Why are you surprised?”
“I don’t know,” he says with a shrug. “Seems like you’re always busy lately.”
“Cute girl moves in next door…” Finn says.
“Fuck off, you two,” I say. “Leave Becca alone.”
“Speaking of,” Gabe says, nodding toward the door.
I look over my shoulder and see Juliet and Becca come into the tavern. Becca’s wearing a fitted blue top and short skirt, with a pair of sandals. She has her hair pulled up, showing off her neck. Our eyes meet and she gives me a little smile. Seeing her sends a pang of nervousness through me. That’s weird. Why is she making me jittery? I take a long pull from my beer while she and Juliet walk over to our table.
“Hey,” Juliet says. “Sorry, I figured you guys would be at the pub tonight. We won’t intrude.”
Finn stands and kisses her. “It’s fine. You guys can hang out.”
“No, no,” she says. “You guys enjoy your beer and talk about man stuff. There’s a table right over there. We’re good.”
Becca waves her fingers at me before she walks away with Juliet. It’s stupid how disappointed I am that they don’t stay.
Gabe raises his eyebrows at me.
“What?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Nothing. That was… interesting.”
I ignore him. Finn and Gabe always give me shit about women. This isn’t any different.
Finn starts talking about football, and I’m glad for the change of subject. I glance over and notice Becca sitting alone. Juliet’s at the bar, probably ordering drinks. I need to quit watching Becca, but it’s like I can feel her from across the room. Not to mention, her legs look fucking phenomenal in that skirt.
Looking around the crowded bar, I realize I’m not the only guy watching her. Some jackass in a sleeveless shirt and basketball shorts is eying her up and down like she’s on display at a store. I have no reason to be pissed that some other guy is looking at her, but it makes my back tighten and I ball my hands into fists.
I try to pay attention to what Finn and Gabe are talking about, but I keep glancing at Becca. One of the bartenders comes to her table with a drink and puts it down in front of her. She looks confused, and he points to the douchey guy in basketball shorts.
Oh my god, he sent her a drink? What a cliché.
The guy saunters over to her table and slips into the chair across from her. Way to sit with a girl without being invited, asshole. Becca gives him a polite smile and they start talking. I notice she doesn’t take a sip of the drink he sent her. It’s probably something she hates.
Juliet comes back and sits down, but the guy doesn’t get up. Finn starts casting glances at their table. Juliet smiles at him and shrugs her shoulders.
I go back to my beer and try to ignore the jackass hitting on Becca. She’s a single woman; she can meet someone if she wants.
Although it pisses me off.
Eventually, he gets up and goes back to his friends. He says something to the other guys he’s with, and nods, a smirk on his face. He looks at his phone. She didn’t give him her number, did she?
Fuck.
With the guy away from Becca’s table, I’m slightly less distracted. The three of us talk about work, and sports. Then Finn starts talking about wedding shit, and I check out of the conversation.
After a while, Becca and Juliet get up. Finn waves at Juliet, and the girls head for the door.
Of course the jackass follows them out.
Great. Now I have to decide what to do. Does Becca want that guy to follow her? Is he being a creeper, and she could use some help? I have no right to intervene, but the thought of her hooking up with him makes my blood boil. Becca wouldn’t really take off with him, would she? It’s not like she’s alone. Juliet is out there.
Fuck it. I’ll just go out and make sure she gets into Juliet’s car.
“Be right back,” I say to Finn and Gabe, and head outside.
I poke my head out the door and glance around. Becca is standing in the parking lot, talking to the guy. I don’t see Juliet anywhere. I hesitate for a beat. Where’s Juliet? She wouldn’t leave Becca standing there, would she?
The guy gets closer to Becca. She takes a step back and crosses her arms.
“Hey, Becca.” I walk toward them. “You okay? Do you need a ride home or anything?”
She looks at me and her eyebrows draw together. “I’m fine. I’m going home with Juliet.”
“All right, just making sure.”
“Hey, man, the lady is fine,” the
guy says. “We’re just having a little chat. You can back off.”
Anger bursts through me, running hot in my veins. “Excuse me? You can fuck off.”
“Lucas,” Becca says.
“What, are you the ex-boyfriend or something?” the guy asks.
“No, he’s not,” Becca says. She shoots me a glare. “He’s my neighbor, and he’s going home.”
I put my hands up. “Hey, I’m just making sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” she says, irritation plain in her voice. “I said that already.”
Juliet pulls up in her car. Becca glares at me again as she walks to the passenger side.
“It was nice meeting you,” Becca says to the guy. “Have a good night.” She gets in Juliet’s car without saying anything to me.
The dude scowls at me, like it’s my fault Becca didn’t leave with him. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything else—just goes back inside the bar. I stand in the parking lot like an idiot and watch Juliet and Becca drive away.
That was shitty.
I go inside long enough to say goodbye to the guys. I don’t tell them I made a jackass out of myself in the parking lot—just that I’m beat and ready to call it a night.
When I get home, I head straight for Becca’s door, knowing full well it makes me a glutton for punishment. But I don’t want her to be mad at me. I was only trying to look out for her.
Friends can do that, right?
She opens the door and rolls her eyes. “Really?”
“Can I come in?”
She turns and walks inside, leaving the door open. I follow.
“Becca, I’m sorry about what happened at the bar,” I say. “I was just checking up on you.”
She whirls on me. “That’s the problem. I didn’t need you to check up on me. I’m a grown woman, Lucas. If I want to talk to a guy at a bar, I’m more than entitled.”
“Of course you are,” I say. “That’s not the point.”
“Oh, it isn’t?” she asks. “Then why were you glaring at him the entire time he was at my table?”
Could Be the One: (Lucas and Becca) (A Back to Jetty Beach Romance Book 2) Page 7