Nodding slowly, Brave smirked at him. “I’m too much? I’m standing here, bleeding because you flipped out and you’re throwing old shit in my face. But hey, so long as you get to judge me, it’s all good, right?”
“I’m laying out the facts. And asking you to leave her the fuck alone.”
“Done.” Brave gave an offhand shrug. “You finished? They’re waiting for us. And for some stupid reason, I’m still gonna tell them not to toss you to the curb. Because that’s the kind of asshole I am.”
“Don’t do me any favors.” Malakai knew he was risking his career, but he couldn’t handle owing Brave. The man would never let him live it down. And he’d use it every chance he got.
Maybe even for a clear path to Shiori.
Strong as she was, she stood no chance against Brave if he wanted her as his new toy.
Grabbing the front of Malakai’s shirt, Brave jerked him close. “You sure? Be hard to watch out for her if you’re gone.”
And just like that, Malakai was trapped. He, who’d managed to steer clear of Brave’s twisted games for so long. Brave was right. If they went in there snarling at one another the band’s decision would be easy. Replacing Malakai wouldn’t be all that difficult. He’d become a liability.
Without Brave’s support, he might as well pack his bags.
“What do you want from me?” Malakai pried Brave’s hand from his shirt. “A fucking apology?”
“No. I’m not stupid, man. I know how much you hate me.” Brave glared at him. “I want you to go in there and make it fucking clear how much we need you. Because, like it or not, I know we do.”
The last statement hit Malakai like a two-by-four to the head. Hating Brave had become second nature. The man gave him plenty of reasons. But he’d also just reminded Malakai all that mattered was the band.
A band Malakai had helped form.
One he’d fight for until his last breath.
Like Shiori, he didn’t need to be told what he already knew. He had to fight. He belonged here. This band was his life and he wasn’t ready to surrender the role he’d earned.
Brave being the one to make him see that chaffed, but he’d get over it.
He scowled at the other man almost out of habit. “You’re right. I do hate you.”
Rather than laughing, Brave inclined his head, his eyes tired. He dropped the hand holding the towel to his side, revealing the torn flesh along his cheekbone, cut open by the pipe Malakai had hit him with. Angry red and still seeping blood.
“I know.”
Chapter Twelve
Being hated used to be fun. Hate was such a clean emotion. Direct.
And if Brave earned that hatred by doing whatever the fuck he wanted, all the better.
Then he’d gone and tried to change. And for what? All his efforts seemed pointless. His reward was guilt and second-guessing every decision he made.
No one cared. No brownie points for him.
Malakai, more than anyone, didn’t trust the new him was real. And maybe he was right. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe Brave was just a horrible person. Selfish and cruel. On the same damn road Valor had been on, without drugs to make it nice and smooth.
Why should he care what Malakai thought? So what if the man was right?
Only…for months Brave had been trying to prove him wrong. And then Shiori came, fresh and new and seeing something in him that wasn’t all bad.
He wanted to be the man she saw. It reflected the one he thought he could be. Made him believe he was on the right track.
Getting rid of Malakai would secure the illusion. He wouldn’t have a constant reminder of all his fuck ups. Malakai had given him the perfect opportunity. Earlier, while he was still outside, the band discussed the risk he posed with his violent tendencies. Tendencies he’d tried to abandon, but one slip and all his past sins were in the spotlight.
Connor stuck up for him, but he didn’t make a good argument. For either of them. He’d started the whole fight for a girl he wasn’t that into. Oh, and he needed to find the guitar he’d wagered. Seriously, why was everyone so pissed?
Thankfully, he shut his mouth at a hard look from Jesse. Connor’s admissions put his own standing with the band in jeopardy. As the tour manager, Jesse would report back to Reese and he didn’t have anything good to tell her. Somehow, Jesse needed to prove he had control of the situation.
What better way than to eliminate the root of the problem?
On the surface, Malakai was an easy target.
But Brave needed him. He hadn’t been talking shit when he’d said so. Not in so many words, he’d said the band needed him, but that was true too.
For Brave, it was more. Malakai was honest with him. In his anger, in the way he questioned Brave’s every move. If Brave wanted to be a better man, no one else seeing he’d made progress would matter as much as Malakai.
Do you want to though? Seems like a waste of time.
He looked around the bus, catching Shiori’s eye as she sat with Danica, speaking low about the routine they’d do for S.L.U.T. She flashed him a smile, still nodding at whatever Danica was saying. So far she’d been pretty good at pretending nothing had happened between them.
On the long drive to Kansas City, they hadn’t spent a moment alone together. Danica had all kinds of guilt about letting Shiori spend the night on the bus without her. She gave them all shit when she saw Shiori wearing one of Brave’s shirts. Shiori had left her suitcase at the hotel, which hadn’t been a big deal until Danica pointed out if a single person caught her outside in anything of Brave’s there would be talk.
Talk Shiori’s career couldn’t survive. Not yet. She needed to establish herself before rumors spread.
Fit with his decision to leave their night as nothing but an awesome experience for them all. Shiori followed Tate’s example on how to behave and Tate seemed completely unaffected. Unlike the first time Brave had fucked around with him, when he’d seemed uncertain how to act. He’d adjusted to the idea of being used.
Which was fucked up.
Brave had never wanted to use the drummer again, but that night…hell, he wasn’t sure why he’d given in to temptation.
But he had. And both Tate and Shiori were okay.
No harm done.
Until Malakai caught him looking at Shiori.
He couldn’t even guess what the man had seen.
Except how much Brave wanted her.
And that he didn’t like Malakai being the one she’d gone to.
Five people hovering over him and he’d been way too aware of Shiori’s absence. When Alder joined them, paling at the wreck of his face, Shiori slipped away.
And clearly went to check on Malakai.
Because that’s who she was. Malakai was alone. He needed her. Brave hadn’t. Not then.
The band giving Malakai the cold shoulder pissed him off, but he wouldn’t examine that feeling too closely. The man wouldn’t appreciate his pity. Or his help.
Or pretty much anything coming from him.
Not that he had a choice.
“Thank you for joining us, Malakai.” Jesse stood in the middle of the lounge, watching Malakai as he made his way up the steps. “Please have a seat.”
Glancing around the room, Malakai’s jaw ticked as he took a seat on the sofa next to Brave.
“As you all know, the band has dealt with…issues in the past.” Jesse stared over their heads, rubbing his jaw. “We managed to overcome them, but things have changed. We have a label backing us. Sponsors. Which is awesome, but the privileges they provide come with responsibilities we can’t take lightly.”
On the other sofa, Danica and Alder sat close, Danica holding Alder’s hand as he shot Malakai a cold look.
Sitting on Danica’s other side, Shiori frowned. A few times it looked like she would speak, but then she sat back, hugging herself.
She didn’t feel it was her place.
Brave knew it was his, but not yet. He’d let Jesse finish.
&n
bsp; “I didn’t approve Malakai and Connor coming here with another band. Still, that’s on me. Excuses don’t get you far in this business.” Jesse folded his arms over his broad chest. “First of all, let’s make it clear this won’t happen again. Your actions reflect on the label. I can’t tell you you’re being stupid if you’re off with a band still new enough to pull shit like this. And four of the five bands we’re touring with fit that description.”
Nods all around. The band would travel together. Not an unreasonable request.
“Now as for what went down today. Fights will happen. I get that.” Jesse turned his attention to Malakai. “The man you attacked is in the hospital now. The band is tweeting about how you broke his jaw and knocked him out. Our fans and theirs are having fights on twitter about who’s to blame.”
“Malakai didn’t fucking attack Bernie.” Connor stood, jutting his bruised chin at Malakai. He held his side as he spoke through swollen lips. “I won that sweet piece of ass. She wanted me. The fuckers weren’t happy that I beat their lead singer. They ganged up on me and Malakai had my back. What’s your fucking problem? Any one of you would have done the same.”
Connor wasn’t the best defense for Malakai, but he’d made some good points. Brave watched Jesse as the man ran a hand through his wavy blond hair and sighed.
“There are a few dozen different clips of what went down. And your right, I would have stepped in.” Jesse rolled his shoulders. “But there are also videos of Malakai hitting Brave with a goddamn pipe.”
My turn. Brave tipped his head back, meeting Jesse’s eyes. “A few minutes on twitter and I can put a spin on that.”
“Really? Better than the one trending now?” Jesse frowned at him. “I think it’s #BravevsMalakai. Not all that original, but it’s gaining steam. Fans think he wanted to take you out and this was the perfect opportunity. And I don’t blame them.”
“He didn’t see me. Not even sure he looked.” Simple truth. Brave knew Malakai had been in his violent haze. And he hadn’t considered that before grabbing the man. My bad. “We stand united as a band and all the rumors won’t matter. But if Malakai leaves we’re adding fuel to the fire. It will confirm the band is broken.”
“You’re not broken.” Shiori drew her knees to her chest, hugging them when all eyes turned her way. “Sorry, I know my opinion doesn’t matter, but as a fan, all I see is what you show on stage. You’re intense. There’s so much going on under the surface. Anger and passion. It comes through in the music. Please don’t lose that.”
Her defense wasn’t only for Malakai. It was for the band.
One they all needed to hear.
Brave was tempted to smile at her, but he couldn’t chance everyone catching whatever Malakai had. Instead, he focused on their judge, jury, and executioner.
Jesse’s brow furrowed. He looked at Alder, who’d dropped his gaze to Danica’s hand in his. When Alder met his boyfriend’s eyes some silent communication passed between them.
Tate cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “Malakai hasn’t said anything yet. Neither have I, but mostly because I get why everyone’s freaking out. Getting the label was awesome. We shouldn’t fuck that up. But can we stop threatening to cut people? Wasn’t cool when Brave went through his whole—you can be replaced—saga. We all belong here. This is us.” Tate motioned to every member of the band. Grinned as he included Danica, Jesse, and Shiori. “One for all and all for one, okay?”
“I second that.” Brave wondered why Tate hadn’t defended his self-appointed big brother before, but this made up for his earlier quiet. “The label knows it didn’t sign choirboys. They probably won’t say shit.”
“I hope you’re right.” Jesse shoved his hands in the pockets of his worn blue jeans. “Connor, we know where you stand. Which means the majority is for Malakai staying.”
“No. You get a vote. So does Danica.” Alder didn’t lift his head. His tone was rough, like anger had a stranglehold on him. “It’s great that everyone’s all good with what happened. Connor’s busted up. And Malakai…fuck, he broke a man’s jaw. He tore Brave’s face open. He could kill someone, losing control like he does. Sticking together won’t matter if one of us ends up dead.”
“So you want him gone?” Danica reached out, cupping Alder’s cheek. “I know you’re upset, but he’s your friend. You know he was only trying to help. It went too far.”
“Yeah. I know.” Alder lifted his head, his hard gaze fixed on Malakai. “And he can stay. But none of us gets to take our place here for granted. This is too important, we’ve all worked too fucking hard. Tate doesn’t do drugs. Brave’s cut back on drinking and being a dick.”
Brave frowned. Sure, Alder had a point, but…all right, maybe he deserved to be called a dick. And worse.
“We’ve all made sacrifices. Made improvement. The urge to beat a man to death?” Alder let out a cold laugh. “Definitely needs to go.”
And there it was. The root of Alder’s problem with Malakai. A man had almost killed Alder. His target had been Brave. The man showed no mercy. Their lives had been expendable to him.
Alder couldn’t separate Malakai’s actions his attacker’s. All he saw was the violence.
Connor slammed his fist into the dinette table. “Malakai wasn’t—”
“Alder’s right.” Malakai spoke up for the first time, regret tightening his voice. He glanced down at his busted knuckles. “I stopped fighting because my lack of control scares me. I won’t apologize for defending Connor. But I’ll accept the consequences for my actions.”
“How about therapy?” Tate ducked his head when everyone turned to stare at him. Then he shrugged. “I don’t know. You were all on my case about getting therapy when I was high all the time.”
Brave chuckled, recalling those unpleasant conversations. “You never went.”
“I also don’t do drugs anymore.”
I guess we’re not classifying weed as a drug? Not that Tate had even smoked a joint in a long time. The last was actually Brave’s fault.
Best not bring that up.
“It’s not a horrible idea.” Jesse regarded Malakai thoughtfully. “Be hard on the road, but if you’re willing, we actually have someone with us who’s qualified.”
Malakai arched a brow. “We do?”
“Yes. Ballz.” Jesse chuckled when Malakai’s eyes went wide. “He was a Mental Health Specialist. In the army. One of the reasons he’s such a stickler for the rules. He’s a good guy. Easy to talk to.”
“He lets people call him ‘Ballz’, I figure he’s pretty chill.” Malakai rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Yeah. Okay, if he’s up for it I’ll talk to him.”
While the two men discussed fitting therapy into the band’s insane schedule, Brave watched Alder, who’d eased back against the sofa, one arm rested over Danica’s shoulders. He seemed more relaxed. And very interested in this new information about Skull’s brother, Ballz.
Considering Alder’s sleeplessness, and how on edge he was all the time, he should probably see a therapist himself. Probably should have after the attack, but no one had even considered it.
Not even Jesse, clearly, since he knew they had a shrink working security detail.
Or you, his shitty ass brother.
That would change now, but he wouldn’t broach the subject in front of everyone. Malakai being pressured into therapy fucking sucked, never mind Alder. Suggesting a survivor of that kind of violence needed to rehash shit to fully heal? If he were Alder, he’d want to erase the little he remembered from his mind and simply enjoy living.
Brave would never let himself forget. Any more than he’d forget Valor’s death. Those memories had changed him. Not all for the good, but he was stronger. Maybe even a little smarter.
“All right, so that’s settled.” Jesse smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eye. He looked worn out. “I’m going to check in with the sound crew. You guys—and girls—” He inclined his head to Danica and Shiori. “—should start ge
tting ready. Be at the venue for sound check at 4:30.”
With that Jesse took off, leaving them to follow their typical routine. Tate claimed the shower first, disappearing into the closet sized bathroom before anyone could protest. Connor mumbled something about going to the van to do work with his weights. Alder and Danica headed to the back lounge. Brave didn’t want to know what they were doing.
If she could get his brother in a better mood, it was all good.
Alone with Shiori and Malakai, Brave did the one thing he hoped would settle some nerves.
He poured them all a drink, fixing Shiori’s exactly like he had the other night.
“Should you be drinking after taking meds?” Malakai set his glass on the window ledge and frowned up at Brave.
Shiori let out a soft laugh. “He didn’t take anything.”
“I took a couple shots while Danica glued my face together.” Brave’s chuckle died in his throat at Malakai’s wince. He’d been trying to keep things light, but as much as the man hated him, he didn’t like seeing him hurt. He cleared his throat, opening the freezer to fetch the man an icepack for his knuckles. Thankfully, they didn’t look swollen. “Seriously, Grimm, I’m good.”
Malakai’s brow rose as he placed the pack over his right hand. “‘Grimm’?”
Grimm? Brave wasn’t even sure where that had come from. He shrugged. “Sorry, just slipped out.”
“Because I remind you of guys who wrote twisted fairytales?”
“Naw. More the German meaning. I read somewhere it’s ‘fury’.” Not exactly flattering. “Also, you can be pretty grim.”
“I like it.” Shiori sat forward, hands clasped between her knees. “Besides, the Grimm brothers changed their work to kid appropriate later on. It’s all how you look at it. Grim determination isn’t a bad thing.”
Gaze softening, Malakai smiled up at her. “You have the determination part down pat. Thank you, by the way. What you said helped.”
“I speak only truth.” She smiled back at Malakai, then took a sip of her drink. Her phone buzzed in the pocket of the long jacket she’d draped over the arm of the sofa. She took it out, her smile fading as she stared at the screen, the phone slipping in her gasp. “Oh fuck.”
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