Huffing out a laugh against his neck, Brave flipped open Malakai’s wallet, tugging the condom and pack of lube from the slot under his credit cards one-handed, without even looking. “Amateur.”
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah. Within the hour if you don’t mind?”
Shaking his head, Malakai backed up, unzipping his jeans and pulling out his throbbing cock before grabbing the condom. He brought the wrapper to his mouth to tear it open with his teeth, pulse racing as he caught Brave licking his lips while looking down at Malakai’s dick. The open package almost slipped from his fingers.
Brave gave him a crooked smile before pushing away from the bus and taking the condom from his hand. “Where’s that detached attitude, Grimm? You’re usually cool as fuck when you’re seducing a man.”
“Don’t.” Malakai’s mouth went dry as Brave knelt in front of him. “We’ve brought up enough of the past.”
“Yes, we have.” Brave fisted his hand around the base of Malakai’s shaft, brushing his lips softly over the tender head, drawing a curse from his lips. “I want to taste you before you fuck me. Do you mind?”
Hell no. Malakai sucked in air through his teeth as Brave traced his thumb along the underside of his glans. The man seemed to be memorizing every inch of him, testing his reactions with gentle torment.
With level breaths, Malakai retreated from the rush of arousal threatening to cut things short. He’d mentioned edging to Brave because he’d done it before. Because sex had bored him for the longest time. Being bisexual should have given him sufficient variety to hold his interest, but he never connected with anyone long enough to want to experiment.
Quickies limited what he could do, even with a partner willing to try anything. Threesomes and moresomes were fun for a while, but even that got monotonous until he taught himself to control his body. Fucking three people in a row, giving them multiple orgasms, still hard after the last man—or woman—standing was completely drained, then claiming his own release gave him a twisted sense of power.
Brave bringing him to the brink this fast proved something had been missing before.
Still, he was up to the challenge.
“You’re nice and thick.” Brave replaced his thumb with the tip of his tongue, gazing up at Malakai with an evil glint in his eyes. “Good length. Will feel amazing when your dick hits the back of my throat.”
“Jesus.” Malakai tried to ease past those soft, teasing lips, but Brave tightened his grip, holding him still.
“I have one request before I start.”
Malakai nodded, positive Brave on his knees could replace torture as an interrogation tactic. He’d do or say anything Brave wanted to get him to continue.
Brave licked up his length, then flashed a wicked smile. “Don’t. Move.”
The command sent a resistant shudder through Malakai, but he inclined his head, gritting his teeth as Brave’s slick lips slid over him. Brave’s tongue slipped along his length, hot pressure stimulating every inch as it disappeared into his mouth.
Malakai’s palms itched to cup the back of Brave’s head, not forcing him to go faster, but to move with him. Let him know how goddamn good his mouth felt. An exchange he’d never needed before.
He left his hands where they were. He had a feeling the ‘Don’t. Move.’ rule included his hands. If he ignored it, Brave might stop.
Under the same circumstances, Malakai would.
The grip on his cock eased. Brave’s hands curved around his hips. And his lips slipped down his length. The sensation of Brave swallowing around him was erotic as hell. His pulse throbbed hard and low, and Brave kept up a rhythm to match, as though driven by the beat. Guiding it faster and faster as he circled his tongue all the way up, sucking at the tender ridge before starting all over again.
And that control Malakai took so much pride in? Yeah, about to die a shameful death. His balls tightened as the current of need sizzled through his veins, spreading to every part of his body. His toes curled in his boots. His fingers twitched and he fisted his hands to keep them where they belonged.
Fuck this. He growled and delved his fingers into Brave’s hair, pulling him away from his dick, bending down to kiss him before laughing against his swollen lips. “You want me to come in your mouth or you want me to fuck you?”
“You mean I can’t have both?” Brave smirked, rolling the condom over Malakai’s length. He rose, returning Malakai’s kiss with a hungry one of his own. “I’ve heard stories.”
“Yeah?” Malakai sucked Brave’s bottom lip, sliding his hands down Brave’s back and under the waist of his jogging pants to grab his bare ass. “What stories?”
Brave’s eyes drifted shut. He inhaled roughly as Malakai lowered his fingers, grazing between his ass cheeks. “That you last so long you can’t be human.”
“I never felt human…or even real with anyone else.” Malakai rested his forehead against Brave’s. “You remind me that I am.”
Slanting his lips over Malakai’s, Brave replied with raw emotion, digging his fingers into Malakai’s shoulders, revealing so much Malakai knew he’d felt the same. They’d both let sex become a distant thing, with people who couldn’t reach beyond what they showed the world. A passion that echoed what they shared on stage, but nothing more.
Malakai might regret letting Brave in so deep, but he didn’t care. Bring on the damn pain and scars. He was finished with shallow shit. The worst that could happen would be them hating one another again.
Pulling away, Malakai turned Brave, taking his wrists to place his hands against the back of the bus. He pressed his chest against Brave’s back as he licked and sucked along the curve of his neck, breathing in the intoxicating aroma of beer and a hint of citrus, mixed with the deep familiar scent of the man who’d never been too far. The lingering scent he’d come to crave.
When Brave moaned, Malakai nipped his earlobe, then whispered to him. “Real is so much better. No matter how good having a warm body under you feels, when you’re holding back part of yourself, the part that can get hurt…” He hooked his thumbs to the waist of Brave’s jogging pants, dragging them down slowly. “You become numb inside. The experience lacks something…something I didn’t know I was missing.”
“Do you feel that now?” Brave met his eyes over his shoulder, licking his bottom lip as Malakai retrieved the packet of lube from where he’d left it on the bumper. “With me?”
“With you? The man who wrecked my perfect record of being in control?” Malakai drizzled the lube on his palm, coating his dick, then adding more so his fingers were nice and slick. He kissed Brave as he brought them down, circling his hole with gradual pressure, groaning as Brave let him in. “I feel it. I feel everything.”
Brave shifted slightly, bowing his head between his arms, his whole body trembling. “I’m almost there. Don’t give me a chance to back off because I’m fucking terrified.” He widened his stance, exposing himself even more. “Make me feel it too.”
Brave didn’t brace himself as Malakai’s dick pressed against him. He relaxed, pushing back, focusing on the stretch, the burn, on every sensation as if he’d never been taken before. The man was fucking hung, and the slow penetration rode hard on the edge of pain. Malakai added the last of the lube, teasing the ring of muscle with shallow thrusts.
He’d joked about being a virgin, but not about this being a first. His heart never got wrapped up in what he did with his body. He left it riding the pine, with no promise to ever let that vulnerable side of him in on the game.
The games were over and his heart was first up to bat. Beating hard, consuming every fucking moment like neglect had left it starving.
He was terrified.
In over his head already.
And the rest of him didn’t seem to know what to do.
Sure, his dick was hard and ready for anything, but his skin was oversensitive, every touch from Malakai a shock, like the man was made of electricity. His fingertips, his lips, his body sent a curre
nt riding along Brave’s nerves.
His brain had short-circuited long ago.
The functioning side tried to take over, but he denied it. He’d asked Malakai to make him feel.
He was doing just that.
Rocking against him, sinking deeper, then easing back, Malakai whispered words he couldn’t make out, but the gentle assurance translated in his tone. He’d mentioned fucking Brave again and again, but he wasn’t. Instead, he used his body to bring them together on another level.
Almost like the dam of hate they’d built had been rigged with dynamite. One spark and the explosion broke a hole in the cement, crushing the barrier under the weight of the water, all obliterated in an instant.
What hurt the most was neither of them had lit the fuse.
Shiori had inadvertently struck the match. If they didn’t both care about her so much the barrier would have been reinforced until nothing short of a nuclear blast could tear it down.
He hadn’t liked the idea of Malakai sharing his feelings for her, but in some fucked up way, knowing the man was struggling with him helped.
“Stay with me, Brave.” Malakai pulled out completely, wrapping one hand around Brave’s throat. “Fuck, I don’t think you even realize you’re pulling away. Whatever’s on your mind can wait.” He put some pressure on Brave’s throat as he penetrated him once again. “You’re mine. All of you. And I will give you exactly what you asked for.”
As if to emphasize his point, Malakai bit into the other side of Brave’s neck, adding sharp pain to the onslaught of sensations. He filled him, restricted how much he could breathe, and marked him all at once.
Clenching around the fullness, Brave rasped in air, sweat beading at his temples as he shuddered, completely overwhelmed. He’d never given anyone this much control over him.
Wouldn’t have trusted anyone enough to try.
Malakai gave him what he needed, taking all he offered, using the knowledge he’d gained over the years. He knew Brave’s triggers. Knew how to avoid the bad ones and use the good to breach all those closed off parts of him.
When Malakai’s pelvis settled against him, Brave bucked his hips restlessly, all his focus on that deep penetration. He bit out a word he hoped sounded like “More.”
The response told him Malakai had heard. Grinding in deeper, Malakai released his throat and wrapped a hand around Brave’s dick. He stroked him as he withdrew, then drove in hard. In and out, angling to hit a spot that sent flashes of white across Brave’s vision as his muscles clenched with each thrust.
“Fuck, you feel good. You’re not cold anymore.” Malakai ran his lips along Brave’s throat. “So fucking hot.”
Bearing down, Brave gritted his teeth as Malakai shifted back. Calloused fingers dug into Brave’s hips as Malakai withdrew until only the head of his dick remained inside. His pace changed, building up to a merciless rhythm marked by the slap of skin on skin. Slamming in, gliding out, over and over until all the pressure, all the stimulation, hit like a meteor on impact with the Earth.
Brave came hard, pleasure tearing through him, rocking his whole body with each aftershock. He brought his fist to his mouth to muffle a shout as Malakai drove into him one last time.
“I will hurt you if you fucking move.” Brave rested his head on the bus, jerking as Malakai wrapped his arms around his waist, dick shifting just enough to send another tremor through him. “Please.” Maybe if he asked nicely? “Please stay still.”
Sucking lightly at the side of his neck, Malakai chuckled. “I am trying very hard. With the way you’re holding me, I’m not getting anywhere without serious damage.”
Brave’s lips curved. He twisted his head sideways, giving Malakai a lazy kiss as his body settled. Malakai ran a hand over his stomach, up to his chest, holding him like he wasn’t in a rush.
This was probably the longest time Brave had spent with anyone besides Jesse after sex.
His smile faded and he drew away from Malakai, pulling his jogging pants up the second Malakai was free from his body. What they’d done had been fucking awesome, but did he really deserve to feel this good?
How many people had he hurt before he’d considered changing?
“Hey.” Malakai brought a hand up to his shoulder and squeezed. “Talk to me.”
“Not sure what to say. This was…” He leaned against the back of the bus, shaking his head. “Incredible. And I feel guilty.”
He expected Malakai to give him all the reasons he shouldn’t. The past was in the past. Do better now.
Instead, he tugged Brave around to face him. “So do I.”
“That’s helpful.”
“It’s not meant to be. We’ve both done shit we’ll have to live with.” Malakai sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Hopefully, the people we’ve hurt can forget about us. But remembering them is the price we pay. Most of the people I’ve been with knew the deal. Others…I could tell they thought they’d be ‘the one’. What we shared would be special and I’d ask them to stick around. I knew, and I didn’t care.”
Brave nodded. He’d done the same. “How do we fix it?”
“We don’t. We accept that we were assholes.” Malakai smirked, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Brave’s ear. “I know who you were and who you are. And I love you anyway.”
No matter how many times Malakai said those three words, Brave would never get tired of hearing them. They didn’t erase the guilt, but he put it where it belonged, with all the other lessons he’d learned.
Catching Malakai’s wrist, he held his hand against his cheek. “I love you, too.”
For a few beats, neither of them spoke.
Then Malakai laughed. “Enough of all the emotional shit. I’m still not used to it. Ready to go in?”
“Yeah.” Brave gave himself a little shake. As much as he enjoyed the closeness they’d found, they both needed to figure out how to manage their new intimacy.
Which meant more than talking and fucking and being all sappy. They’d have to deal with the band. With how to act in public.
This could get weird.
But he was ready to handle whatever challenges they’d face.
As they made their way to the door of the bus, he glanced over at Malakai, needing his take on things. “So how we doing this? Band meeting? Do our thing and explain if anyone asks? A statement to the—”
“Your bunk or mine?” Malakai held up a hand when Brave frowned at him. “Dealing with the fallout tomorrow. All I know, right now, is I want to wake up next to you.”
“Fucking bunks are small.”
“You telling me no, Draven?”
Brave grinned and shook his head. “Not sure I know how anymore.”
“Good. Because I’m claiming this as another first. I’ve never slept—as in actually sleeping—with anyone before.” Malakai’s lips curved slightly. “I just hope you don’t snore.”
Chapter Eighteen
Last night’s performance had been featured in a wicked review on the Rolling Stone website. An amazing accomplishment, Winter’s Wrath never got a mention unless they had a new release coming out.
Reading the article for the third time, Shiori looked up from Danica’s laptop, not sure why the other woman, sitting across the table from her with Jesse and Alder, was scowling into her coffee.
“I’m missing something.” Shiori took a sip of her own coffee, now lukewarm and bitter enough to curl her tongue. “This is good publicity, isn’t it?”
Jesse raked his fingers through his rumpled blond curls and shook his head. “I’m not sure. Reese called and she’s cautiously optimistic. She’s waiting to see how the public reacts.”
“Because they’re speculating about Brave and Malakai being gay?” Shiori rolled her eyes. “That’s stupid. Every fan I know suspects you’re all bisexual. No one cares.”
“Because it’s not PC to make it a big deal, but that doesn’t mean it won’t affect sales.” Jesse rolled his shoulder, looking tired. “There�
�s still an attitude in the metal scene that isn’t inclusive. A little homoerotic flirting to tease the ladies is acceptable. What they did was clearly…more.”
“That’s not the point.” Danica reached out, taking her laptop and snapping it shut. “Their little display is all anyone’s talking about. You’re not mentioned at all.”
“So…Reese isn’t impressed with my performance?” Shiori bit hard into her bottom lip when they all avoided meeting her eyes. “I was on for one song. I thought I had at least a week to prove myself?”
Danica reached out, covering Shiori’s hands with hers. “You do. This isn’t a reflection of your performance; you were amazing. Sophie’s likely working on an angle to get you more exposure as we speak. I’m just…damn it, why did they have to steal the spotlight?”
Biting back a laugh, Shiori turned her hands to squeeze Danica’s. “Because they’re the band. Besides, I knew they’d planned to do something to take the focus off the pictures—”
“We had that covered!” Danica’s eyes widened. “Oh, I almost forgot. Our little encounter with the press was mentioned. A short piece on a fashion blog, but you’re in there!”
Danica pulled up the blog on her phone, then passed it to Shiori.
Just one of the guys and 'evil lady bits’
I have to say, the impromptu interview with the ladies of Winter’s Wrath impressed me. When the press tried to shame their new dancer—who will presumably be taking over for Danica Tallien while she’s strutting on the catwalk and shooting commercials for two new fashion lines and a coveted makeup ad—both women laughed off the assumption that they had to be sleeping with the boys to change clothes in front of them.
Honestly, it never occurred to me, but when you’re stuck on a bus for days at a time, where do you find privacy? The idea that whipping off your shirt is no big deal is usually reserved for men, but the two models clearly feel comfortable around the band. Which was a refreshing statement.
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