“It’s a lovely offer, but I don’t think so,” she said with real regret.
He studied her intently, then muttered what sounded like a curse under his breath. “It’s about the upkeep, too, isn’t it? Don’t worry about that. I’ll come by. So will my sisters. Let us do this for you.”
Pleased by his determination and too delighted with the idea to keep coming up with excuses, valid or otherwise, Raylene slowly nodded. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I weren’t. Do we have a deal?”
She couldn’t help the rush of excitement that stirred when she imagined having a garden again. If she closed her eyes, she could even imagine a time when she’d be able to sit outside and enjoy it.
“I would love it,” she admitted eventually, “if you’re sure you don’t mind doing all the work.”
“I don’t mind,” he confirmed. “You can pay me back with advice and lemonade. Shall we give it a try? I have the plants in the truck.”
She regarded him with amusement. “You were awfully confident you could talk me into this, weren’t you?”
He grinned. “Pretty much. Something told me you’d be a pushover if I dangled the promise of a few flowers in front of you.”
“Don’t get the idea I’m a pushover, Deputy Rollins,” she said with mock severity. “You’d be wrong.”
“Every women has a few weaknesses,” he commented with a wink. “I just happened to figure out one of yours.”
He walked toward the truck and left her wondering why he’d even given the matter so much thought. Most men, knowing her circumstances and the unlikelihood of anything approaching a normal relationship, wouldn’t have bothered. Rather than worrying about his motives, though, she told herself to be grateful for this impulsive, sweet gesture of his.
While Carter unloaded the plants and carried them around back, she woke the kids and brought them into the kitchen. “You want to help Deputy Rollins with the garden?” she asked, knowing they’d be safe with him and would enjoy the freedom of being outside. It would also give Laurie time to run to the store to look for the dress she wanted for her date tonight.
Tommy immediately raced for the kitchen door, but Libby hung back. Rebuffed once too often by her own father, whose entire focus seemed to be on her big brother, she’d only recently begun to feel more comfortable around men. Thankfully, Walter himself was responsible for the change. He’d finally realized what a treasure she was and started giving her a fair share of his attention. That, plus undisguised adoration from Travis, had been a huge boost to Libby’s confidence, but she still hung back around other men until she was sure of her welcome.
Raylene pulled a chair over to the doorway and lifted Libby into her lap. “You and I get to supervise,” she told her, loudly enough to be overheard by Carter. He cast a grin in her direction.
“Oh, great! Now I have two women bossing me around,” he grumbled with mock dismay. “Tommy, you’re going to have to help me stand up to them.”
“Okay,” Tommy agreed at once, eager to please. “What do we do?”
Carter shrugged. “Beats me.” He turned to Raylene. “Any ideas?”
For the next two hours, he and Tommy dug where she told them to and trimmed the yard with tall sunflowers and vibrant hollyhocks, patches of bright impatiens in partially shaded areas and even two fragrant rosebushes for either side of the kitchen doorway. The result was a far cry from the carefully tended garden at her home in Charleston, but it was bright and cheery and brought a smile to her face. Looking at the results, she had to blink back tears.
Standing in front of her, Carter seemed shaken by her display of emotion. “This was supposed to be a good thing.”
“It’s a wonderful thing,” she said, impulsively reaching out to give his hand a squeeze. “Thank you. It was wonderful of you to think of doing this. Even if I can’t take a single step outside, I’ll be able to smell the roses from right here.”
“No big deal,” he insisted, looking uncomfortable with her gratitude.
“Now, what can I do in return? Of course, I want to pay you for the plants.”
“Absolutely not,” he said indignantly. “I told you I bought too many.”
“I can believe you bought too many flats of annuals, but extra rosebushes? I doubt that.”
“Really, no. I can’t take your money. It was my pleasure.”
“It was more like a backbreaking couple of hours.”
“I enjoyed every minute,” he said, meeting her gaze with a steady look. “Really.”
Raylene shuddered under the intensity of that gaze. “Okay, then, what advice do you need for your garden?”
“Actually, you’ve already helped out. I’ll just try to re-create what we’ve done here.” He frowned. “Of course, we don’t have much shade.”
“Then you’re really going to have to keep an eye on the impatiens. They need a lot of water if they’re in bright sunlight. Otherwise they’ll wilt. And the sunflowers and hollyhocks will do best either against a fence or with stakes. Once they’re in full bloom, they’ll tend to fall over without some kind of support.”
“Got it,” he said. He gave her an appealing look. “Maybe one of these days, when you know me better and feel safe with me, you’ll come over and take a look and see if there’s any other advice I need to follow.”
She regarded him with frustration. “It doesn’t work that way, Carter. I’m plenty comfortable with Sarah and Annie, but I can’t leave here with them, either. Don’t take it personally.”
He backed down at once. “You’re right,” he said, looking flustered. “I’m sorry. I don’t totally understand how something like this works. Worse, I’m the kind of guy who automatically wants to make things better. I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“It’s okay,” she said, not wanting to ruin his lovely gesture. “But I do think you should go now. I need to fix the kids a snack and then get started on supper before Sarah and Travis get home. They were doing some kind of remote for the radio station today.”
“And they’re not back yet? Where’s the sitter?” His worried expression was far more telling than the simple question.
Under other circumstances, she would have found his attitude insulting, but she understood why he was concerned. It just grated that it had to be that way. “She came back a while ago. Want me to call her in here so you can see for yourself that the kids are in good hands?”
He winced at her sarcasm. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said with a resigned sigh. “I understand why you felt the need to ask. I really do.”
“Okay, then, I’ll see you soon. Maybe next time I drop by, I’ll bring the girls over. Would that be okay? I know Mandy would love to see the garden. She’s not going to believe I actually pulled off an actual flower garden. Up until this year I’ve stuck to vegetables.”
Raylene regarded him with a penetrating look. “Carter, what’s going on here? Are you still trying to make up for accusing me of being negligent with the kids? Or am I your pet charity case?”
He looked annoyed by the question. He took a step closer, but something in her expression must have warned him away, because he immediately backed off. Oddly, she felt suddenly bereft, as if she’d missed an important opportunity to feel alive again.
Holding her gaze, he said quietly, “If you don’t see what’s going on here, then I’ll have to figure out some way to make it plain.” For the second time he looked deep into her eyes, his gaze steady. “I like you. I enjoy your company. And one of these days, I have a hunch I’m going to kiss you, Raylene.” He grinned. “By then, you’re going to be ready for it.”
She trembled at the warning and the promise. She just doubted that such a day would ever come. Because no matter how attracted they might be to each other, a relationship simply wasn’t in the cards.
“I have a garden in my backyard,” Sarah announced with wonder that evening. She turned to stare at Raylene. “How’d tha
t happen?”
“Carter Rollins,” Raylene said, her voice tight.
Sarah frowned. “Okay, let me see if I can figure this out. Carter Rollins made what seems to me to be an incredibly sweet gesture, and somehow that’s annoyed you.”
“It’s not the gesture that annoyed me,” Raylene insisted. “It’s what he wants in return.”
“Which is?”
“Me,” Raylene said, still not able to get over her shock that a man as sexy and appealing as Carter would want someone with her emotional baggage. “He obviously has some knight-in-shining-armor complex or something.”
“He’s a cop. Don’t they all want to save the world?”
“Well, I don’t want to be his project.”
“But you do want him,” Sarah guessed. “I can see it in your eyes. The guy turns you on.”
Sarah was the second person to suggest such a thing. Even Walter had figured it out, and he hadn’t even had to see her face to do it. Obviously there was no point in faking a denial. “Well, if you weren’t madly in love with Travis, Carter would probably turn you on, too. He’d turn on any woman with a functioning libido.”
“But your libido has been in hibernation,” Sarah said, fighting a grin. “Is that what you find so annoying? You’re suddenly faced with the fact that you’re still alive?”
Raylene scowled at her, but Sarah merely waited her out. “Okay, yes,” she said finally. “I don’t want to feel anything for him or anyone else because there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. No man is ever going to want to be tied to a woman who can’t leave the house.”
“If I recall, most bedrooms are inside houses,” Sarah teased.
“You know what I mean,” Raylene said. “My situation isn’t normal. It may never be normal.”
“Didn’t you tell me after your second appointment with Dr. McDaniels yesterday that she’s optimistic?”
“Of course she’s optimistic. Do you think she’s going to come in here, throw up her hands and tell me I’m beyond hope? Shrinks don’t like to admit defeat.”
“Or maybe she really believes you’re going to get better,” Sarah countered. Her gaze narrowed. “Or did I miss something? Did something happen on Friday to leave you sounding so discouraged? Now that I think about it, you’ve been in this weird mood ever since that session.”
“I’m just facing reality,” Raylene said.
“Meaning?”
“The medication didn’t do a thing to help. I felt so good, too. I was calm and relaxed. Dr. McDaniels had this really soothing tone that helped me. I was so ready to walk out of the house. I just knew I could do it.” She sighed. “And then, the second I tried to step outside, I nearly came unglued. It was bizarre. I had absolutely no control over it. Talk about a reality check.”
“Gee, and you’d been on the medication and in treatment for how long? Two whole days? I’m shocked,” Sarah said with exaggerated disbelief.
“It’s not funny,” Raylene said. “There should have been some sign of change.”
“Was Dr. McDaniels expecting a miraculous change?” Sarah asked.
“No.”
“What exactly did she say?”
“Not to be discouraged, that it could take a while for the medication to kick in, that I might need a stronger dose or a different medication, blah-blah-blah.”
“Oh, sweetie, I know it must have been frustrating, but she’s right. You’ve been suffering with this disorder, phobia or whatever it is for a couple of years now. It’s not going to vanish overnight.”
“It might never go away,” Raylene said. “I need to accept that.”
“Don’t you dare give in to such a defeatist attitude!” Sarah said heatedly. “I will not allow you to give up, especially after just two sessions with Dr. McDaniels. Do I have to call the rest of the Sweet Magnolias and stage an intervention? Because I will, if that’s what you need. You are better than this, Raylene Hammond. You are not a quitter. And, frankly, if a man as sexy as you seem to think Carter Rollins is suddenly wants to hang around, I’d think that would be motivation enough to keep you fighting to get better.”
“I never said I was going to quit,” Raylene said. “You don’t need to resort to an intervention. I just said I need to accept reality.”
“Accepting is barely one step away from giving up,” Sarah said, obviously still agitated. “Not an option, is that clear?”
Raylene regarded her with amusement. “If Walter could only see you now. You’re definitely not the meek little woman who let him and his parents get away with bullying her.”
Sarah blinked at the comment. “You know, you’re right. I have changed. And while we’re on the subject of Walter, what’s this I hear about you trying to fix him up with Rory Sue? The word is out the two of them were at Rosalina’s the other night.”
Relieved to have the focus off her mental state and off Carter, Raylene merely grinned. “I thought it might be fun.”
“Are you crazy? Rory Sue and Walter?” She shook her head. “If he ever took her home to Alabama, both his parents would wind up in the cardiac-care unit of the local hospital.”
“Like I said, fun,” Raylene repeated. “You can’t possibly expect me to believe you actually care about what those two awful people think.”
“No, but I don’t necessarily want them dead.”
“Well, their state of mind and health are no longer your concern, and Walter’s life needs shaking up. It’s time he stops pining for what he lost when the two of you got divorced.”
“Walter has hardly been pining for me.”
“Of course he has. He just knows he doesn’t stand a chance now that you have Travis in your life, though frankly, the fact that you haven’t set a wedding date yet must be giving him hope.”
Sarah regarded her indignantly. “You know perfectly well that there are a lot of reasons we haven’t set a date yet. Getting the station up and running has been a lot of work. With such a small staff, we couldn’t both be gone for even a brief honeymoon, and we agreed we want a big wedding. That takes time to plan. And then there are my folks. My dad’s health hasn’t been good, so he hasn’t been up to traveling.”
“Okay, I get it,” Raylene said. “But does Walter?”
“He certainly ought to by now,” Sarah said. “The two of us were always a terrible match, anyway.”
“True enough,” Raylene said. “He fed your insecurities. Not intentionally, maybe. It’s just the way things were as long as you were living under his parents’ thumb.”
“Let’s get back to Rory Sue,” Sarah said, once again looking bewildered. “Seriously? You honestly think those two belong together?”
“They’ll have to figure that out for themselves,” Raylene said. “But I do think she’s self-confident enough to give him a run for his money. Walter needs a challenge.”
“Meaning I’m a wimp,” Sarah said, looking disgruntled.
“You were a wimp,” Raylene concurred without hesitation. “And now you’re not. You are the woman you were meant to be—strong, confident, comfortable in your own skin. Watching the transformation has been amazing. You’re amazing!”
Sarah’s expression brightened at her words, but then Raylene realized the change had nothing to do with her. Travis opened the kitchen door and at the sight of him, Sarah practically glowed with happiness. It was that way whenever he dropped by, which was most nights and weekends. For a man who lived blocks away, he was underfoot a lot.
“Hey,” he said in his low, sexy drawl, his gaze on his fiancée. Raylene might as well not have been in the room.
“Hey,” Sarah said, equally oblivious to the fact that they had company.
“I’ll just go and check on the kids now,” Raylene said, backing out of the kitchen. “Don’t let the casserole burn.”
She shook her head as she left. She doubted they’d heard a word. It was a toss-up whether her friends or dinner would go up in flames first.
6
The following Sa
turday the kids had gone to the ball field with Sarah and Travis, and Raylene was alone in the house, when Carter’s truck pulled up out front. Two teenagers climbed out. Raylene guessed these were Carter’s sisters. The girl who appeared older wore the sulky, bored expression of someone who wanted to be anywhere else but here. The other teen was gazing around with frank curiosity as her brother led the way to the front door.
Filled with a mix of anticipation and annoyance, Raylene held it open as they approached.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” she said, her tone light but chiding.
The younger girl frowned at Carter. “You didn’t call to say we were coming or to see if she’d be home? What is wrong with you? That is so rude.” She grinned at Raylene. “You have to make allowances for him. Our parents did try to teach him some manners. Honest.”
Raylene smiled. “I’m sure they did. Do you suppose he’ll remember to introduce us? I’m Raylene.”
“And I’m Mandy,” the young teen replied. “Sourpuss here is Carrie.”
“That’s no way to talk about your sister,” Carter scolded.
“Oh, come on,” Mandy protested. “She’s been cranky all day.”
“I can wait in the truck if you find my company so objectionable,” Carrie snapped, then glanced apologetically at Raylene. “Sorry. You shouldn’t have to listen to our family squabbles.”
“I don’t mind,” Raylene said, feeling an unexpected sense of camaraderie for this girl who’d lost her parents just when she was entering the vulnerable teenage years and needed them the most. “Come on inside, all of you.”
“I wanted the girls to see the garden and to check to see if it needs watering or weeding,” Carter told her. “I hope that’s okay. We won’t stay long.”
“Of course it’s okay. How about some lemonade or sweet tea before you go outside again?” Raylene asked. “Even for June, it’s miserably hot today. And I baked sugar cookies yesterday.”
“Sounds good to me,” Mandy said eagerly. “Nobody bakes at our house. Carrie used to, but then she discovered that cookies have…” She lowered her voice to an exaggerated whisper and added, “Calories!”
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