“You’re a waste of my time, Jade,” Ryker says quietly.
My eyes burning with tears, I turn and run out of the class. My footsteps echo down the hall as I run to the bathroom. I stand at the sink, splashing cold water over my hot face until my skin cools and my tears are washed away.
In my next class, I fall into my seat in a dispirited lump. I left halfway through my other class, which means no one else has arrived in Professor Darius’s class. After the party, I’m not sure my intrusion is welcome, but if I go back to the dorm, I may never come out.
“Everything all right, Jade?” Professor Darius asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rocking up on his heels as he stands next to his desk.
“No,” I groan, dropping my forehead to the surface of my desk. “I can’t get my spork to cooperate at all. It refuses to turn into a sword again.”
“But she did it before?”
“Yes, when I was about to die,” I say.
“So, she showed up for you when you really needed her,” he says. “Did you thank her?”
“Um… No. I’m not in the habit of talking to inanimate objects.”
Darius smiles a little and moves toward my desk, stopping a few feet away like he doesn’t want to get too close to me and my unpredictable magic. “She chose you,” he says. “That’s not something an inanimate object does. I know it can seem that way at times, but remember, your magic is alive.”
“I know,” I say, nodding. “And I’ve moved magic back and forth between me and her in your class. Because you’re a good teacher. Ryker just yells at me and does his best to humiliate me in front of the class.”
“Maybe he’s trying to find something to motivate you,” Darius says, halfway sitting on one of the nearby desks, one foot still on the floor. He clasps his hands on his knee, which makes my eyes wander from there up to the bulge in his pants. I gulp and tear my eyes away.
“I think he’s trying to get me to leave the academy,” I say.
“That’s not really an option, though, is it?” Darius asks, cocking his head to one side.
“You could bind my magic forever, couldn’t you? I’ve heard of that happening.”
He shakes his head. “Maybe for a witch or wizard, but I don’t think that can work for you. You were chosen as the High Priestess, Jade. You can’t walk away from that magic, no matter how much it scares you.”
It does scare me. I’m a freaking virgin. What do I know about being a sex goddess? But I haven’t been sabotaging myself because of it.
At least, I don’t think I have.
“Where’s your weapon?” Darius asks gently.
I sigh and pull out the string, setting it on my desk. “Scary, huh?”
Instead of laughing, Darius nods. “What’s her name?”
He did tell us during a class that we should name our weapon, that she’s half of our team. I don’t think Stubborn Bitch was what he had in mind.
“You’re telling me to be nice to her, and Ryker is telling me to be mean,” I say. “Which one is it?”
“I’m not telling you to be nice,” Darius says. “I’m telling you to respect her. She holds your magic. But you’re in control of it. Treat her with respect, as you respect your magic, but be firm with her. You’re the wielder of that magic.”
The gentleness in his voice makes me want to cry all over again, but I suck it up and focus on my weapon. What the hell do I name an uncooperative spork?
“So, if I name her, you’re saying she’ll cooperate?”
“I’m saying you have to build a relationship with her,” he says. “Think of her more like… A dog. You’re her owner. She will be obedient to you, but you have to train her to be. You have to let her know that you’re her boss. She can tell if you’re uncertain, if you’re resentful. But she’s also shown up for you when you truly needed her.”
“You’re right,” I say. “She’s loyal to me. I should be loyal to her.”
“Why don’t you start coming by in the afternoons, after your classes, to practice a little and catch up?” Professor Darius asks.
It’s stupid how happy that makes me, considering we can’t be together in any way beyond him teaching me. But I’m determined to make him proud of me, to make him think I’m worthy of my magic.
I try to think of a name all day, but I have no idea what to name a clairvoyant spork with discipline problems. I still haven’t thought of one that night when I go to bed. Sometime after midnight, a tapping noise wakes me. For a second, I think someone must be at my door. But just as I throw off the blankets, I hear it again. It’s not coming from the door. It’s from the window.
I pull open the curtains to find Elowen on the fire escape, eyes red, cheeks stained with tears.
“What are you doing out here?” I whisper, opening the window to make room for her to wiggle through. I pick up my potted orchid, which I’d forgotten about and is now looking pretty grim, and set it on the desk next to the picture of my family so I don’t forget it again. Elowen climbs in the window, and I close it behind her before turning on the light over the desk.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t be this way,” she says, the words bursting from her. “If I keep going like this, I’ll start doing evil things, and I don’t want to. I can’t go back to the House of Necromancy.” She sits on my bed, pulls her knees to her chest, and starts sobbing uncontrollably.
“So don’t,” I say. “Don’t go back. You can stay here. There’s an extra bed, anyway.”
Elowen looks up at me, her eyeliner smeared over her cheeks. “Won’t we get in trouble?”
“We’ll be fine,” I say, smoothing her disheveled hair. “I’ve skipped lots of classes. And if you only leave here when I’m gone, my guards won’t even see you. They leave when I leave. They’ll never know.”
She sniffs and lets out a shaky breath. “Thank you.”
I dig in my drawers and toss her a T-shirt and a pair of sweats she can use and then turn down the bed as she changes into the clothes I gave her. Once I put out the light, we lie in bed in the dark. I can hear her breathing, which keeps me awake as I’m not used to sleeping in the same room as someone else.
“Are you awake?” I whisper after a while.
“Yeah,” she says, sounding groggy.
“What would you name a bratty, psychic spork that contains all your magic?” I ask.
Elowen giggles, but it’s not the mean laughter I usually hear when I refer to my weapon.
“Gus,” she says.
I start laughing, too. “She’s a girl. I’m thinking Cleo.”
“I like it,” she says. “What can you do with your magic, anyway?”
“Not much yet,” I admit. “So far, mostly I just transfer it back and forth from Cleo.” Saying the name, it sounds right.
“But what could you do with it?” Elowen presses. “Could you make someone fall in love with you?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “I’d never try something like that. It would be a total violation, not to mention pointless.”
“How’s it pointless?”
“Because they wouldn’t really love me,” I say. “It would just be the magic. I already have to worry about that enough with people being attracted to me, and that’s not even love.”
“Still,” she says, shifting in her bed. “I wish someone was attracted to me.”
“Elowen,” I say. “I’m sure lots of guys are attracted to you.”
She snorts in response.
“Listen, you’re going to find someone who appreciates how kind you are despite your magic,” I say. “Someone who loves and is attracted to you for just who you are. You don’t need magic for that. You already have that kind of magic inside you.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so.”
She sniffs, then murmurs, “Thank you.” Within minutes, she’s sound asleep in my spare bed, and I drift off in mine.
Over the next few weeks, things start to even out. Elow
en settles into my room, which is both challenging—I’m not used to having someone in my space every second I’m home—and amazing. I finally have a roommate like everyone else, and it’s a lot less lonely being trapped in my room when I’m with someone else. Plus, sneaking around the sorcerers is kinda fun.
Between getting used to my new roommate and the added training on top of my regular classes, my next two weeks are full. As it turns out, Professor Darius is right. When I talk to Cleo, she finally begins to cooperate at least half the time, and I get to practice swordplay with the other students. In Darius’s class, I practice the power exchange until I can move power back and forth between me and her as seamlessly as every other student. My extra sessions with Professor Darius definitely help, too—when I can keep myself from spending all my time staring at him and thinking of excuses to touch him, anyway.
Just when I’m starting to get the hang of working with Cleo, I arrive in class one day and can’t find her in my bag.
“Get to work, Jade,” Ryker demands as he strides around the room.
I empty out my backpack, desperately searching for my weapon. This time, it’s completely different from when I threw her away. Now, a desperate, panicky feeling climbs my spine when I can’t find her. I need her. I’ve gotten used to her, even when she’s being a pain in the ass.
Ryker stops next to me. “Today, Jade.”
“I don’t have her.”
“What do you mean?” Ryker asks, his eyes narrowing.
“She’s not here,” I repeat, keeping my voice low to minimize the staring, though I want to scream. “I put her in here yesterday after class. I know I did. I wouldn’t lose her.”
Ryker looks skeptical. I did throw her in the trash once, after all.
“You should have your weapon on you at all times,” he says. “Go find it.”
Throwing my bag back over my shoulder, I sprint across campus, back to the dorms. My heart is thundering in my ears. Even before I could use her, I didn’t like other people touching Cleo. I have a connection with her that transcends her defiance and my frustration. She’s mine. She’s part of me, of my magic.
I tear my room apart, but the spork is nowhere to be found.
Fuckity Fuck. Where is she?
I look through all my stuff, even the drawers I gave Elowen, but it’s nowhere. Trying not to completely lose my shit, I collapse onto the bed and run my fingers through my long, blonde locks, wracking my brain for any place I might have dropped my weapon. But I come up empty.
Chapter 15
Finally, I drag myself up and head out to see Professor Darius. But as soon as I step out the door, there’s Rocco.
“Don’t start with me today,” I warn.
He surveys my messy hair, then glances back at the door to my room. “Lover’s quarrel?”
“I wish,” I mutter. If only it were that simple.
“What’s up?” he asks as we start down the stairs.
I roll my eyes. “Are we sharing stuff now?”
“We could be.”
I snort at that. “Right. Let me guess. I tell you something, and you use it against me and make fun of me for the rest of the year. Hmm, let me think.”
“You know, I’ve been here three years, Jade. I have some of the strongest magic in the Academy. It’s not beyond the realm of possibilities that I could help with whatever’s bothering you.” The look in his eyes is closer to plain exasperation than disdain now.
I decide to chance it. “I lost Cleo.”
“Is that your spork, or the necromancy chick who’s been living in your room for the past two weeks?”
“What?” I squeak. “There’s no necromancy student living with me.”
Rocco gives me a look. “Sharing, remember?”
“I shared,” I say. “I lost Cleo. That’s what’s wrong.”
“I bet you anything the necromancy chick took it.”
“No way. She wouldn’t do that.”
He grins. “So, you admit she is living with you.”
“I admit no such thing.” I cross my arms and refuse to look at him as we cross the campus toward the main building. I knew he’d trick me somehow.
“You give her too much credit,” he says. “She plays with life and death. She can’t be trusted.”
“That’s bullshit,” I say. “That’s like saying I must be a slut because I have this… Creative magic.”
“Sadly, I can attest to the fact that you are not a slut,” he says. “The only action you’ve gotten since I’ve been here is with that chick, and it must suck, because you’re both awfully quiet.”
“I’m not sleeping with Elowen,” I say. “Or anyone else, for that matter. Not that it’s any of your business.”
“You know, I could fix that,” he says with a grin.
“No, thanks,” I say. “When I have sex, it’ll be with someone who doesn’t call me Cinderella and treat me like a maid.”
“You’ve never had sex, have you?”
“What? Of course I have.”
“When? What was his name?”
“None of your business,” I say, trying to keep the embarrassment out of my voice.
“Virgin.”
“So what if I am?” I ask.
“Nothing,” he says, grinning like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. “I think the High Priestess magic must have picked the wrong person. It had to have made a mistake. Maybe that’s why your spork won’t obey you. You’re a virgin. How are you supposed to control sexual energy when you have no experience with it?”
Shit. What if he’s right? What if part of my problem is that I’ve never even done this as a normal person, not involving magic?
I’m not about to share my doubts, though. He’s busy laughing his ass off, so I storm ahead and slip into Professor Darius’s class, late again. When class ends, everyone files out, but I stay in my seat.
“Is everything all right, Jade?” Darius asks, hovering behind his desk.
Rocco sticks his head through the door. “Everyone out? Cool. I wanna be here for this.”
He slips into the room and slides into an empty seat, an eager smile on his face while he waits.
I sigh, deciding to ignore him instead of giving him what he wants and rising to the bait.
“Someone must’ve broken into my room,” I tell Darius. “Cleo is missing.”
Darius clears his throat and glances between me and Rocco before coming around his desk. “That’s not possible,” he says, leaning against the front of his desk.
“Why not?”
“There’s a spell on your room,” he says. “No one can get in unless you invite them.”
“Including your roommate,” Rocco says.
I glare daggers at him, but Darius shows no surprise. Here we thought we were being so clever, but apparently everyone knows Elowen’s living with me. Of course they do. How could I be such a dumbass?
“Besides the spell, one of us is always on guard,” Rocco says. “Seriously, Jade. We know everything. You think you could keep something this big from us?”
“So all that shit about sharing was… What? A ploy to get me to open up to you about something you already knew?”
“Maybe I was hoping you’d ask me to share something about my life,” Rocco says with a wink. And even though he says it in a joking way, I can’t help but wonder if it’s true. I don’t know anything about him, really. All I know is that he’s a royal pain in the ass, even if he’s not quite the asshole he was when I started back in September.
Professor Darius clears his throat. “Regardless, there’s no way someone could have broken in.”
“So, the only person who could steal your spork is someone who already has access to your room,” Rocco says, then coughs into his fist like he’s trying to muffle the name he speaks. “Elowen.”
“No fucking way,” I say. “She’s been nothing but sweet and kind to me since I got here. Unlike some people. And she’s beyond grateful I let her share my room so s
he doesn’t have to go dark. She’d never steal from me.” I stand up as I speak, gathering my things with as much dignity as I can muster.
“How much you want to bet?” Rocco asks, a challenge in his eyes as he lounges in the desk, dwarfing its size with his bulky, muscular body.
I stare at him, then cross my arms. “Fine. If I’m right, you never give me shit again. Including calling me Cinderella, making fun of my magic, my weapon, my appearance, and anything else.”
“Okay,” Rocco says with a shrug. “And if I win, I get to take you on a date.”
“A date?” I ask, balking for a second. Almost thinking he wants to spend time with me.
And then he grins and wets his lips. “That’s right. A date. That includes everything I normally do on a first date.”
I remember his crude comments about sex on a first date, and I stare back at him, not backing down from the challenge. “No way.”
He shrugs and lazily peels himself up from the chair. “I thought you had total confidence in your friend.”
“I do.”
“If you really had no doubts, you’d bet.”
I grit my teeth. “Fine. I accept.”
“Jade…” Professor Darius says, his brow furrowing in concern.
“You’re such hypocrites,” I burst out. “You guys have dark magic, but you treat dark magic students like they’re bad people. They’re not. In fact, if anything, Elowen has been nicer to me than any one of the assholes you assigned to guard me.”
“I asked if you were having trouble with them,” Darius reminds me.
“Yeah, but you’re prejudiced just like everyone else,” I say. “If you weren’t, you’d know that Elowen has ten times more good in her heart than all your strongest sorcerers. So yeah. Don’t try to “protect” me after assigning those assholes to follow me around. Just because they’re powerful doesn’t mean they’re good. Trust me on that one.”
I pick up my books and march out the door, leaving him and Rocco behind. I hope he tears Rocco a new one when he finds out what a jerk they were to me for the first month I was here. On my way to my next class, I shoot Asher a text. As soon as I arrive, he pulls me to our table and hands me my wand.
Academy of Sorcery: Term 1: Unleashing Trials Page 12