Imaginary Grace

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by Anne Holster


  “Tara.”

  “Oh, yeah, now I remember. How could I have forgotten?” I said smoothly. We chatted for a few minutes, and then I asked her if she was staying for the show.

  “That depends,” she said.

  “On what?”

  “On whether or not you’re going to hang with me afterwards,” she said as she ran her fingers lightly across my shoulder.”

  “I think that could be arranged.”

  “Okay, then I’ll wait and watch the show.”

  As if there was ever any doubt.

  “Cool,” I said and stood up, “I’ll catch you later.”

  I looked around for Cole, who I found behind the stage checking the equipment one last time.

  “You ready, kid?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I answered, “I just want to change.”

  “Okay, we go on in ten minutes.”

  I went into the back room and changed into a thin t-shirt that I’d brought with me, then I went into the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face – something that had become somewhat of a ritual for me. I dried off with the towel that was hanging there and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

  I looked tired, although I didn’t feel it. I never felt tired before a show. This was what I lived for. Just then I heard Cole calling, “Tanner, we’re up!” One last look in the mirror, and I turned out the light and headed for the stage.

  It was a typical show, although we only had about an hour and fifteen minutes to play. Cole wanted to work on some of the stuff he thought we didn’t have down perfectly, like the Guns-n- Roses tunes and a couple of the older Van Halen songs. I thought everything sounded perfect, but knowing Cole, there’d be some kind of kink he’d pick up on. We started to play and everything was going along great. Then, about halfway through the show, someone yelled “Magic Power!” from the back of the room. When I looked up I knew instantly it was one of the guys from the crew that Scott and I usually hung with, but no one else knew that. They thought it was just random.

  Cole grabbed the mic and yelled to the crowd, “Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have a request from the back of the room, and you guys know that we love requests.” Then he looked at me and said, “Tanner, take it away!”

  I am so getting laid tonight after this spectacle.

  I lifted my guitar and started in on the opening chords. As soon as I started to sing the first line, the crowd went wild. I sang like I’d never sung before, and the crowd really responded. I was drenched with sweat by the time I finished, but I refrained from taking my shirt off like the last time.

  After about three more songs, we finished up just as the bartender called last call. The rest of the band and I went into the back room to change and get a drink. “Tanner,” Cole said as he walked in, “awesome job. I think that’s definitely going to be a permanent addition to the regular line-up. The crowd really responded.”

  “Thanks, Cole, that really means a lot,” I said, grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat off my forehead. By the time we got all the equipment packed away, the bar had pretty much emptied out. I grabbed my guitar and went out to the bar, where Tara was waiting for me. The look on her face could only be described as pure awe.

  I was pretty sure from that look that she would have let me fuck her right there on top of the bar, but I doubted Cole would appreciate that, so I just looked her in the eye and with a sly grin said, “Ready?”

  She nodded and followed me out, just as I knew she would.

  Chapter 19

  Grace

  The game had finished up about an hour before and the party was winding down, but it seemed that nobody wanted to call it a night. Gary had invited everyone in our little group back to his place. Since Beth and Thomas were going, I decided to go too, even though I was a little uneasy since the whole thigh-grabbing-under-the-table incident.

  Gary, like Tanner, had an apartment off campus that he shared with two other guys. As we were getting ready to go Scott pulled me aside. “Grace, um…why don’t you come back to our place and hang out instead? Tanner should be home soon, and I know he’d want to hang out with you.” He actually looked anxious.

  “Oh,” I said, loving the sound of it, “I should probably stay with Beth and Tom so I’ll be able to walk home with them.”

  I really wanted to go with Scott, but I was a little leery about showing up there unannounced again.

  “No, uh, you should definitely come. I know he’d want you to and I’m sure he’d take you home if you wanted, or you could just stay over.”

  Stay over? Oh man, that sounded so good. I knew I shouldn’t, but the alcohol was clouding my judgment.

  Just then I heard Beth yell over, “Hey, Grace, are you coming?”

  I had to make a decision. “Come on,” Scott said. “Hang with us.”

  Finally I said, “Okay, just let me tell Beth.”

  I thought I noticed what looked like almost relief wash over him.

  When I explained the situation to Beth, she said, “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah,” I answered, “I’m sure. I’ll be fine. I’ll text you later.”

  “Okay, then have fun,” she said as she downed the last of her beer.

  “You, too,” I said and went back over to Scott. “Okay, ready,” I said, “but you’re sure he won’t mind?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” he said, “but I hope you don’t mind hoofing it since Tanner took my truck. It’s not far if we cut through the path in the back.”

  “I don’t mind,” I said, thinking the fresh air would do me good. The walk to their apartment only took about ten minutes cutting through the path, and when we got there Tanner wasn’t home yet.

  Scott seemed a bit fidgety when we arrived, and I still felt more than buzzed. “Do you want a beer?” he asked.

  “Sure, that’d be great. Thanks.”

  He went into the kitchen, and when he returned, he handed me a Heineken I knew I shouldn’t drink. We watched TV for a while, then suddenly he said he was tired and going to turn in. “You can wait in his room if you want. Do you want something to change into? I could give you a pair of sweats or something.”

  “Um, okay,” I answered awkwardly, “that actually sounds pretty good.”

  He went into his room and returned with a pair of thin gray sweats. “Here you go,” he said as he tossed them to me, “These are the smallest ones I have.”

  “Thanks,” I said, holding out my hand to catch them.

  “His room’s the one on the right. He should be home soon.”

  “Oh, uh, okay,” I said, still kind of uncomfortable about the whole thing, and then I slipped down the hall and into his room, where I quickly changed. My head was still spinning. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. Was I crazy? The alcohol was definitely making me very bold. I lay down on his bed and looked around. The room was small. There was a double bed, one set of drawers with a small television on top and what looked like a guitar stand in the corner.

  That was odd, I thought hazily, why would Tanner have a guitar stand? He had never mentioned he played, and when I looked around the room I didn’t see a guitar.

  Other than that, the room was rather bare, but he did have a cozy blue comforter on his bed, which I slowly drew up over me. I folded it over and bunched it up under my head to form a little pillow. As I breathed in, I noticed that it smelled just like Tanner. I closed my eyes for just the briefest of seconds, and I was out like a light.

  Chapter 20

  Tanner

  I got out to the parking lot and put my guitar into the back of Scott’s truck as I waited for Tara to drive over. Luckily she had her own car and I wouldn’t have to worry about taking her home later. If she was even half as good as I remembered, this was going to be a wild night.

  When her car got close I reached out the window and gestured for her to follow m
e, then pulled out of the parking lot. Suddenly the Grace situation popped into my head. I’d forgotten all about it, but I hadn’t heard from Scott so I was guessing everything was under control.

  Then I realized I didn’t have my phone on me. I looked around the truck, but it wasn’t there, and then I remembered I hadn’t had it at the party either. Shit! I must have left home without it. I hoped nothing had happened, but then I figured that if anything had happened, Scott would’ve taken care of it. I owed him big-time for this.

  I pulled the truck into the narrow gravel driveway alongside the house and got out, leaving my guitar locked inside. Tara had parked on the street in front and was waiting for me on the sidewalk. I walked over to her, then we continued up the short pathway toward the front stairs. Tara didn’t waste any time; as soon as were on the porch she had her tongue in my mouth and her hand down my pants.

  “Hold on a minute,” I said as I got out my key, “let’s take this inside.” I put my key in the lock and started to turn it when all of a sudden the door was flung open by a very agitated Scott. He slipped out and quickly closed it behind him.

  “What the fuck?” I asked, annoyed.

  “Um, can I talk to you a minute?” He leaned in toward my ear and whispered, “We have a bit of a situation inside.”

  My eyes widened as I got the gist of what he was saying. I turned to Tara and said, “Will you excuse us for a minute?”

  “Sure,” she said, “but hurry up.”

  I walked with him to the far end of the porch, then said, “Please tell me it’s not what I think – is Grace in there?”

  “Affirmative,” Scott answered quietly, then quickly explained how she ended up there. I couldn’t actually be mad at him, since he did exactly what I’d asked and kept her far away from Gary, but now I would have to make up some lame excuse as to why Tara suddenly couldn’t come in.

  “T, I had no other choice but to bring her here. Otherwise she was going to Gary’s with the rest of them.”

  “I get it,” I said, still pissed at the situation. “It’s not your fault. I’ll get rid of Tara. You go back in there.”

  He walked back inside, closing the door behind him, and I turned to Tara, who was staring daggers at me.

  “Listen,” I said to her, “I think we’re gonna have to do this some other time. My sister’s inside and she’s pretty upset-- big blow-out with her boyfriend.” I walked over and put my hands on her hips.

  The move usually worked, but not tonight.

  “Your sister?! Really! Give me a fucking break, asshole!” she said, pulling my hands away. She stormed off, but halfway down to the sidewalk she turned and yelled, “Your loss!” before getting in her car and driving away. I waited until she was out of sight before I slowly opened the front door.

  I walked into the living room, but all I saw was Scott sitting there. “Where is she?”

  “She’s in your room, probably passed out,” Scott said, barely above a whisper.

  “In my room!” I almost yelled. “Oh great! Where am I supposed to sleep? Why didn’t you leave her on the couch?”

  Scott stood up, obviously annoyed, and said “Hey, I have an idea – why don’t you sleep in my room and I’ll sleep with Grace? I saved your ass, man, so you’re just gonna have to deal with it. Besides, I can think of way worse things than having a passed-out girl in my bed.” With that, he stood up and said, “I’m going to bed,” then turned and walked out. A moment later I heard the door of his bedroom click quietly shut.

  Fuck! I stood there for a few minutes, debating what to do, then, realizing I didn’t have many choices, I went to take a shower.

  When I quietly opened the door to my room, I found Grace, dead to the world in my bed.

  I grabbed a pair of boxers from the drawer and slipped them on, tossing the towel I was wearing to the floor, then I climbed into bed. I lay there, annoyed and wide awake for a good half hour; then, suddenly she turned onto her side, tossed her head back, and slapped me in the face with a disheveled mass of wavy brown hair.

  Perfect, I thought sarcastically, but as I went to brush it from my face, I noticed a familiar, sweet scent. I held a clump of her hair in my hand and slowly inhaled, and then more memories of that night in the Suffern motel room came back and an odd calmness settled over me.

  I turned towards her so that I was lying on my side with my head just above hers so I could continue to breathe in that sweet smell. Then I put my arms around her waist and pulled her closer – she was passed out anyway, she’d never know – and inhaled one last time before I drifted off into a deep, restful sleep.

  I woke up the next morning with Grace trying to pry herself out of my arms. As she began to slip free, I pulled her back and whispered groggily, “Don’t go.”

  I felt her stiffen, but when I pulled her back against me, she relaxed right into it. I knew I was going to regret this, but I hadn’t slept this soundly in ages. I’d deal with it later, I thought as I drifted back off to sleep.

  A few hours later, I awoke to find Grace quickly gathering her things. I looked at the clock, which read eleven-fifteen. I guessed it would be nice if I offered her a ride home, so I did. “Are you leaving? I’ll drive you back to the dorm.”

  She turned, startled, not realizing that I was awake, then quickly turned away from me as she moved towards the door. “Oh, uh, no thanks. It’s not that far and I really have to get going.” She reached for the doorknob and, without turning back, said, “I’ll talk to you during the week.” Before I could answer her, she shut the door and was gone. That was weird.

  I wasn’t able to fall back to sleep, so I threw on a pair of sweats and headed to the kitchen for some breakfast. “Hey sleepin’ beauty,” Scott said without lifting his eyes from the newspaper he was reading.

  I ignored him, poured myself a bowl of Cheerios, sat down, and started to eat.

  “You bag her last night?” he asked, again without lifting his eyes from the newspaper.

  “No.”

  He shook his head, “Why not?”

  “I told you,” I said, “I’m not going there. That’s not what this is about.”

  “You might as well. If you don’t, someone else will,” he said.

  “I don’t care if someone else does. Once I have what I want, I’m cutting her loose. Sex with her will just make everything more complicated.”

  After I finished my cereal, I put my bowl in the sink and starting walking back towards my room, but before I got there I turned to Scott and said, “Hey, thanks again for last night. I owe you one.”

  “No problem. I actually had a good time hanging with her,” he said. I went into my room, lay back down on my bed, and started thinking about last night and the unbelievable night’s sleep I got. I knew it sounded crazy, but maybe my problem was that I couldn’t sleep alone. I’d never tried actually sleeping with someone else. I usually either left or asked them to leave after sex.

  Obviously I couldn’t have someone sleeping here every night, but maybe once a week or so would be enough – and certainly it wouldn’t be Grace; that could be trouble. I decided that I would give it a try next weekend.

  Then I started thinking about the way Grace had slipped out of here this morning. She wasn’t even going to tell me that she was leaving. What was up with that? Then I started to get a little worried, which was unusual for me, but I had a lot at stake here, and I wanted to make sure everything was still on track, so I decided to give her a call. I looked around for my phone and found it laying on my nightstand. I grabbed it, scrolled through my contact list for Grace’s name and hit send . . .

  Chapter 21

  Grace

  I was just walking up the steps to my door when my phone started ringing. I looked at the screen, saw Tanner’s name, and felt my heart jump in my chest. Why was he calling? I had just left his house.

  I knew I’d been
drunk last night and I only prayed he wasn’t calling to tell me about something stupid that I had said or done. Damn!

  Not wanting to talk in front of Beth and Thomas, I took the call in the hallway outside our room.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s me. Did you make it home okay?”

  “Uh, yeah.”

  “You sure ran out of here pretty quick.”

  “Oh, I know…” I was fumbling for what to say. I didn’t want to tell him the real reason I’d left--that I was so embarrassed. I’d come to his house when he wasn’t home and climbed into his bed. Who does that? “It was just getting late, and I had a lot to do, and I didn’t want to wake you…”

  The silence on the other end was agonizing. “Listen,” I blurted out, “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have just showed up at your house and fallen asleep in your room. I had a lot to drink – not that that’s any excuse, but anyway, I--”

  “That’s okay,” he interrupted. “I didn’t mind that you were there. I was just wondering why you left in such a hurry.”

  “Oh, well, like I said, I had a lot to do…”

  “Oh, okay. I’ll let you go, then. I’ll talk to you during the week.”

  Did he sound hurt?

  “Okay, bye,” I said quickly, then hung up and slipped my phone into my pocket. When I went inside I was relieved to find Beth alone. I didn’t want to see Thomas, especially looking like this.

  “So?” Beth said with that expectant look of hers.

  I shook my head. “Nothing happened.” I waived away her disappointed expression. “When I got back to his place, he wasn’t home yet. I ended up falling asleep in his bed.”

  “And he didn’t try anything? Wow, this guy’s a saint.”

  “Well, one good thing was that when I tried to leave early this morning he said, ‘Don’t go,’ and then he cuddled me, which was good, right?”

  Beth grinned knowingly. “Oooh, a cuddle, that’s definitely a good sign.”

  Suddenly exhausted, I plopped down on my bed. “So what did Thomas think about him and the whole situation?”

 

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