A distinct bulge in his pants grows and I can’t help but feel somewhat triumphant. He does want me.
“Tell me something crazy you’ve done.”
A smile spreads across his lips and his eyes light just a little. He looks more carefree than I’ve seen him before. My stomach flutters.
“I did a coal walk once,” he reveals with a deep chuckle.
“Oh my god, did you burn the hell out of your feet?”
“No,” he scoffs. “It’s basic physics darlin’. Nothing more than introductory thermal conductivity.”
“I love when you talk nerdy to me,” I add a fake lilt to my voice and pretend to swoon.
“What about you, what crazy thing have you done?”
My face falls a little.
“Nothing. I’m not much of a risk taker.” And, the biggest risk I could take is sitting two feet from me. He could break me when he leaves.
“Maybe you should try some time. A risk can be a good thing every once in a while.”
If he wants me to take a risk, I’ll take a risk. I place a hand on his inner thigh and nuzzle his neck. He leans into it briefly but then stiffens and pulls back.
“Remy,” He says my name like it’s a plea. Unfortunately, not like it’s a plea for me to give him more, that’s a plea I’m familiar with. This is more of a ‘please don’t do this’ kind of a plea. A shameful feeling settles in the pit of my stomach as I scoot as far away as the couch will allow. I’m so stupid, and obviously undesirable.
“Darlin’, don’t be angry with me,” he says quietly, looking at me with sadness in his eyes.
“I’m not angry,” I respond tersely. A burning feeling in the back of my throat threatens me with tears of embarrassment. Seriously, how many times does one guy need to reject me before I get the damn hint?
“Remy, you have to realize that I want you. I want you so much it makes me crazy.”
“Then why the hell are you friend-zoning me so hard?” I demand in frustration. His eyebrows shoot up with incredulity.
“Friend-zoning you? Remy, all I’m trying to do is stay out of the casual hookup zone.”
“Well, I don’t have a boyfriend zone so just give up on the idea.”
He sighs and looks back at the movie.
“How about we just stay in the movie zone for the moment?” he jokes.
“Fine.” I try to keep the evidence of my bruised ego out of my voice. I settle back against the couch, no longer cuddled against him.
“Remy, you are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
His words do something funny to my chest because he’s saying them without any ulterior motives. He actually thinks I’m beautiful.
“Do you want to see the painting I did on Saturday?” I offer. I’d been so inspired by the night sky up on that secluded hill that I’d decided to do a watercolor of it.
“Absolutely.”
I go to my bedroom and grab the watercolor from my closet, carrying it out to the living room. He once again takes it in his hands like he’s afraid that the slightest brush of his palms may irreparably damage it, gazing at it for what feels like hours.
“It’s so beautiful,” he says finally, his voice low and full of awe. “I feel like I’m there.”
“You really like it?” I ask, seeking reassurance. You’re not just being nice?”
“I’m not just being nice, this is incredible! There’s so much feeling in it, I almost feel like it’s touching something inside of my soul simply by looking at it.”
That was exactly how I felt when I painted it, like I was putting a piece of my soul on the canvas.
“Could you make me one?” he asks with a hopeful smile.
“You can have that one. I actually was thinking of you when I made it. I thought you might like to have it.”
For some reason I really like the idea of him having a piece of my art hanging on his bedroom wall, where he can look at it before he goes to sleep at night. Maybe he’ll think of me.
“Thank you, I really do love it.”
“You’re welcome.” I lean forward and give him a small kiss on the cheek.
Chapter 6
Dex
“So how are we splitting up teams?” Remy asks as we all stand in a circle on the paintball field, ready for combat.
“How about Ethan, Dex, Asher, and I against you four.” Nikki suggests with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “That way we can make it interesting.”
“Love it,” Abby agrees.
“Okay, so what do the winners get?” Ethan asks, his gaze trained on Abby.
“Winners choice,” Remy cuts in. “Anything the winner wants; the loser has to do.” Her gaze is fixed on me the entire time and I know that if she wins I’m going to like giving her whatever she wants all too much.
Asher smirks at Eve and tugs his lip ring between his teeth. She blushes and holds his gaze.
“You’re going down Angel,” Asher warns Eve, his words dripping with promise.
Oh fuck, I really hope no one actually expected me to be in charge of where Asher sticks his dick.
“Game on,” Nikki shouts and we all scatter.
Ethan, Nikki, Asher, and I get slaughtered. It’s actually extremely embarrassing how badly we get our asses handed to us.
Covered in sweat and paint we all decide to head to the leprechaun for a few drinks.
“Hey Ethan, that guy is all over your girl,” I lean over to inform him, nodding my head towards the girls at the pool table and the frat loser doing his best to charm Abby. I’m surprised to see a smile spread across his face.
“Don’t let her hear you call her ‘my girl’, unless you want a ten-minute lecture about how women are human beings, not property.” he laughs and takes a swig of his beer. We both glance over and see Abby giving frat boy a death glare, but he doesn’t seem to be taking the hint.
“So you aren’t going to go tell that guy to back off?”
I’d go over there if some guy was hitting on Remy, and she isn’t even my girlfriend. Not for lack of trying on my part, obviously.
“Trust me, it’s difficult for me not to. But I learned the hard way that if I don’t let Abby handle this kind of shit herself, she thinks I don’t respect her. I respect the hell out of that woman; never seen her fail to handle a douche like that guy either.” His voice is full of reverence for Abby. I guess we all do things that we never thought we would for people we love. I glance over again as Ethan takes another swig of beer. Abby leans over to take her turn and frat boy grabs a handful of ass.
“Seriously though, he just grabbed her ass.”
Ethan’s hands coil into fists, ready to strike, but he doesn’t move.
“Come on baby break his nose or I’m going to have to, and then you’ll be pissed at me,” he mutters to himself as he watches the scene unfold. Sure enough Abby cocks her arm back and plows her fist into frat boy’s nose causing blood to spurt everywhere. Bouncers come out of nowhere and, after talking to the girls, they lead frat boy towards the door. Abby, Eve, and Remy make their way over to us while Lee and Nikki continue to play on the pool table.
“Did you see that guys? Abby is such a fucking badass,” Remy squeals with excitement.
“Is your hand okay Red?” Ethan asks, concern lacing his features as he reaches for Abby.
“I’m fine, just realizing though that I’m going to have to tell my therapist about this. She’s going to give me that disappointed look I hate.”
“Your therapist?” Remy asks.
“Yeah, she’s wanted me to work on ‘overcompensating’ for my past abuse by overreacting to normal unwanted sexual advances,” she explains with a shrug. But I notice a flash of pride cross Ethan’s face, suggesting that Abby’s openness about her issues is a new development.
“Well if you would let me defend your honor, then you wouldn’t have to do it yourself,” Ethan points out with a smile, pulling Abby into his arms.
“Tell you what, why don’t you take me home and I c
an reaffirm your manhood,” she offers, leaning into him with a flirtatious smile. My heart squeezes with jealousy. Not over Abby of course, but at the closeness they share. I look over at Remy and I swear I see a flash of the same feeling cross her face as well. But is she envious for the same reason I am, or does she have feelings for Ethan? Or did I misread her altogether and that look meant something else entirely?
“Are you ready to head out?” Remy asks, biting her lip in an all too enticing way. She hasn’t told me yet what she wants for winning, and I have a feeling that as soon as I get her back to her apartment I’m going to find out. The question is, will I be able to resist her this time? I don’t have the same excuses and reasons to resist as I did last time. She’s had a few drinks but she doesn’t seem to be drunk. Plus, I feel like I’ve started to get to know her, so she’s no longer a stranger I’d be taking advantage of. I let out a long breath and steel my resolve.
“Yeah, let’s get you home darlin’.”
Remy
Dex is practically squirming the entire drive to my apartment. I do my best not to laugh at his obvious discomfort. I’m sure he thinks I’m going to try to seduce him again, this time with the ammunition of a prize owed for my teams win today on the paintball field. But, I have too much pride for that. If and when we finally have sex, it’s going to be insane and passionate, not something that I strong arm him into. Although, I’ve already decided that I am going to use my prize request to get a kiss from him. I need to know if his lips are as soft as they look.
“Want to come up for a little bit?” I ask. His gaze remains fixed forward as he clearly engages in an inner debate, before finally giving a curt nod and switching off the engine.
As soon as we’re in my apartment I feel sticky with sweat. I imagine I don’t exactly smell like a rose. Not how I was hoping to feel when I get my first kiss from Dex.
“Would you mind hanging out for a few while I hop in the shower?” I bite my lip and hold my breath for his answer.
“Sure darlin’,” he agrees, settling into my couch.
I take a lightning fast shower and when I’m done I pull my wet hair into a messy bun and pull on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts before heading back out into the living room. Dex is watching the show The Cosmos so I sit down next to him and watch in silence for a few minutes.
“Alright, the suspense is killin’ me darlin’,” Dex says after several minutes.
A smile spreads across my lips and I turn to him with an innocent look on my face.
“What do you mean?”
“What do you want for winning?” he asks, a nervous look in his eyes like he’s not sure he wants to know. I’ve never seen a guy treat sex like it’s a firing squad before. I’m torn between amusement and offense.
“Relax cowboy, when we have sex it’s going to be because you absolutely can’t control yourself one second longer, not because I won a silly game,” I assure him, allowing the heat to seep into my eyes so that he can get the full effect of what I’m saying. He swallows thickly and I notice the tell-tale bulge in his pants. Good.
“So what do you want?”
“Just a kiss.” I lick my lips and wait for his response. I can see his pulse pounding in his throat and it’s all I can do to stop myself from leaning forward and running my tongue along it to elicit a moan from him.
“Okay, just a kiss,” he agrees.
He leans forward but I push him back against the couch and climb into his lap to straddle him. His eyes go wide and I can feel his excitement pressed firmly against my center. I run my fingers through his thick, blond hair like I’ve been envisioning doing for the past two weeks. As soon as his lips part in a moan I go in for the kill, devouring his lips. I suck his tongue into my mouth and take control of the kiss. He gives as good as he gets, challenging me for control with his lips, teeth, and tongue. Dex meets my tongue stroke for stroke, and nibbles my bottom lip when I pull back for air, his hands grasp my hips, keeping me from grinding into him like I so desperately want to.
My heart is thundering and my panties are soaked. I’ve never been this worked up in my entire life, and if he can do this to me with just one kiss I can’t wait to know what sex with him is like.
“Remy,” he gasps, his voice filled with desperation. I know that we’ve both just about reached the limits of our self-control. I reluctantly climb off of his lap and seat myself on the opposite end of the couch so that I’m not tempted to jump him again. “That was somethin’ else.”
“That’s an understatement,” I agree with a laugh.
“Go on a date with me?” he asks, vulnerability seeping into his voice. My heart leaps with hope, the word ‘yes’ is right on the tip of my tongue but I bite it back. I’m standing on the edge of a cliff and I’m too afraid to take the leap. If I let him in, I’ll give him the power to break me. When he leaves it will break me. I shake my head ‘no’ and avoid his gaze. I can’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes, or for him to see the same in mine.
“I’m not giving up darlin’. We’d be good together, I know that you can see that, too.”
I hope he doesn’t, because I desperately want to say ‘yes’.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asks.
“Going to a party at Trey’s frat I think. Nikki wanted to go,” I answer with a shrug. I don’t really want to go. I’m not in the mood for my usual debauchery.
“Oh.” His voice is tight, like he’s holding back what he wants to say. I wait but he doesn’t say more.
“I should go to sleep before things get out of hand again,” I say with a laugh to lighten the mood. I finally look up and see that his eyes are somewhat hard as he gazes off, clearly lost in thought. He nods and heaves his large frame off of the couch. He bends over next to me and kisses my cheek gently.
“Night darlin’.”
Dex
I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing at this stupid frat party. That’s a damn lie. I’m here because the idea of Remy hooking up with some random guy has been making me sick to my stomach all day. So, here I am, aiming to find her and hopefully take her home before that happens.
The kiss last night was out of this world. I’ve never felt so much from just one kiss. Maybe it’s been too long since I’ve gotten laid, but I think it’s more than that. It’s made me even more determined to convince her to give me a chance at a date. The house is packed and I realize that my chances of finding Remy are slim.
I head straight for the backyard, still trying to find Remy. I stumble upon a couple in a dark corner making out and turn to give them privacy. Just before I step away, a voice gives me pause.
“Rem, why are you so tense? Usually you’ve already got my dick in your mouth by now.”
I turn back to face the situation. My stomach churns as I confirm what I just heard. It’s Remy and Trey sequestered in the corner.
“I just don’t really feel like it right now,” she says as she starts to push past him. Then our eyes meet and she stops. I can’t imagine the look on my face right now, but it can’t be good based on her reaction.
“Dex, I didn’t know you were here,” she says lamely.
“Hey, Dex.” Trey walks over and slaps me on the back. I turn a murderous glare on him and he backs off. “Alright, well if you change your mind Rem, you know where to find me.” He winks at her and then walks away. Remy and I stand facing each other, the silence stretching out between us like an ocean.
“Dex…” she says again, taking a step towards me. “Let me explain.”
“There’s not much to explain Remy, you’ve made it clear that you aren’t interested in dating me. You’re free to do whatever you want with whomever you want.” I clip out the words like they’re razor blades on my tongue.
“This is exactly why I can’t date you. I’m not anybody’s girlfriend. I’m just the school bike, everybody gets a ride,” she says sardonically.
“If that’s true Remy, it’s nothing more than a choice you’re making, it’s n
ot who you are.”
“I don’t even know how to be anyone else. Do you want to know when I lost my virginity?” she challenges, not waiting for a response. “I was thirteen, and I realized that I could get a lot of attention from high school boys if I put out. So I was in middle school and I would sneak out every night to do whatever the neighborhood high school boys wanted me to do. I got quite a reputation which just made me all the more popular. I’ve never had a boyfriend, or gone on a date because no one has ever asked me.”
“I asked you,” I grind out, trying not to scream at her. My fists balled at my sides so I don’t grab her and shake some damn sense into her.
“I can’t date you. I can’t date anyone. I promised myself that I wouldn’t ever end up like my mother, knocked up and alone.”
“And, your solution to that is to screw guys who don’t even care about you?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel like a complete dick.
Remy’s face burns bright red with rage and I’m honestly not surprised when she cocks her hand back. I am a little surprised by how much it hurts when she lands the punch.
She’s gone before I can apologize.
I stomp into my place and immediately slam the door, then smash my fists against it for good measure. But nothing seems to relieve the tension and rage coursing through my body.
“Rough night?” Asher asks, coming up behind me.
“Yeah you could say that.” I run my hands through my hair in frustration.
“What happened? Didn’t find Remy at the party?”
“Oh no, I found her,” I bite out, stalking to the couch and flopping down. Asher grimaces at the implication.
“That doesn’t sound good,” Asher says grabbing two beers from the fridge and bringing me one.
“It could’ve been worse. They were just making out. I know she’s not my girlfriend, but goddammit! I thought that there was something going on between us. And then I said something really stupid and she punched me.” I gulp down some beer and start to absentmindedly peel the label off. “Am I just being a total dipshit chasing after this girl?”
Impossible Girl (Sexy Nerd Boys #2.5) Page 5