She averted her gaze from the mop bucket in the corner because she would not allow herself to get sick here. It was unprofessional. Mental health professionals were trusted to remain calm and unruffled. Detached even.
But after hearing the terror the women felt when two children were snatched from the fenced backyard by their abusive father, there was no way she could be unaffected. She knew all too well how it felt to have your world destroyed by someone else’s actions.
A knock came at the door, and Tessa breathed, willing her rocky stomach to cooperate. “Come in.”
The shelter’s director, a woman in her thirties with short red hair, poked her head inside. “Could you talk with one more person?”
Could she? She was so drained from today’s emotional black hole that she was trembling. Or maybe her reaction stemmed from something even closer to home. “Well…”
At that, Dianne slid inside and quietly shut the door. “It’s Doris.”
The mother whose children had been abducted. It had taken the Asheville police over three hours to locate the kids and their dad, and during that time, Doris had been inconsolable. So overwrought that the shelter’s regular counselor discussed having a doctor administer a sedative. But the mother had refused it, saying she needed to be on the lookout. After all, that was what had caused this in the first place—that she hadn’t been watching her kids every second.
When the counselor had pushed the sedative idea, Tessa had stepped in to support the mother because she knew how terrifying it was not to be in control. “I…I thought she talked with the shelter’s counselor earlier.”
“She did, but she wants to talk with you.”
Tessa uncapped the water bottle sitting beside her chair and took a quick swallow, hoping it would fill her rocky stomach. This wasn’t her area. Yes, she’d been through trauma counseling herself, but there was a reason she’d chosen to focus on organizational psychology and corporate coaching. As with Davey and the others, she sometimes talked about people’s deeper issues, but for the most part her work life was filled with team dynamics and helping people adjust to the workplace.
But she would not turn away a woman who was in pain. “Have her come on in.”
When the woman shuffled inside, wearing the same ill-fitting jeans and oversized T-shirt she’d worn earlier, her face and eyes were puffy from tears. Her gaze flitted from Tessa to the mop bucket to the tall shelves of cleaning supplies and finally back to Tessa.
“Please be comfortable.” Tessa gestured to the chair near her. “Well, as comfortable as you can be in a cleaning closet.”
Doris rewarded her with a wan smile and slumped into the cafeteria-style chair. “You seem like a nice lady.”
“Thank you. I’d like to help you any way I can.”
“You tired, ain’t you?”
Normally in control of her body language, Tessa jerked back as if she could dodge the woman’s words. But she shouldn’t pretend. Doris had likely heard enough lies, enough platitudes in her life. “Yes. I want to help people, but it takes a great deal of energy.”
Was that the reason she’d steered herself toward the safety of corporate work?
Doris waved a hand toward Tessa’s clothes. “A man buy you those?”
Tessa blinked. She wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but for now she was willing to let it play out. “I have my own work that allows me to support myself.”
“So you ain’t ever been under no man’s thumb?”
“As a child, I lived with both my mom and dad, if that’s what you mean.”
“He ever hit you?”
The concept of Robert Martin ever laying a violent hand on her was so foreign she couldn’t even comprehend it. Her father had sobbed when he’d seen her bruised and broken and torn. “Why don’t we talk about what’s happening with you?”
Doris’s puffy eyes narrowed until her pupils were barely visible. “You didn’t say yes or no.”
“No, but—”
“What about yo’ husband or boyfriend? He ever beat you up?”
Now they were entering boggy territory. Empathy was important here, but she never shared details of her past. “No, but I have been a victim of violence.” She reached out and took Doris’s work-roughened hand into her own. “Why do you want to know?”
“’Cause you look all nice and put together, like you got everything figgered out and all. I wanna know how you do that.”
Oh Lord, sometimes with spit and safety pins. Other times with denial and duct tape. After the rapes, she’d never again wanted to be involved in any high-school activities. After a lot of talk and tears, her parents had agreed to allow her to get her GED instead of returning to school. When she’d insisted on applying to a university across the country, they’d protested at first. But she’d needed a clean slate, an environment where she could heal. Where she could breathe and regain her confidence.
In college, she’d continued to avoid rowdy parties. Even now, she fled the scene if she was in a social situation where men were drunk.
“Total control is an illusion,” she told Doris. “No one has that, no matter how nice her shoes or clothes are.”
“Ain’t what I want to hear. If a real nice lady like you don’t run her own life, how’m I ever gonna do it?”
Gently Tessa turned Doris’s hand palm up and touched the callouses below her fingers. “How did you get these?”
With lowered eyebrows, Doris glared at her own hand. “I done worked my whole life. Everything from fast food to janitorial. Ain’t too proud to work.”
“You should be proud of each one of these,” Tessa said. “Tell me, did you develop them all in one day?”
“What you mean?”
“I mean did you mop and develop these callouses in a single day?”
“Naw. It took me all summer the year I turned nine. They been like this ever since.”
It broke Tessa’s heart to hear that this woman had been scraping and getting by since she was a child. “Building a life—a good and healthy life—is much the same way. It doesn’t happen overnight. And we have to be willing to work hard for it.”
Maybe she’d forgotten that when it came to Jonah. She felt as if she’d been working hard to get close to him for years now, but for some reason he wasn’t ready, even though he’d proven that he was physically attracted to her. How much time would he need? And how long was she willing to wait?
“I go to the job every damn day. But Barney show up here anyway and grab my kids. That ain’t good. Ain’t healthy. My Kyra done cried herself to sleep tonight. I had to rock her in my arms and promise her he won’t be back, won’t hurt her no more. I had to flat-out lie. And then she up and tells me she misses him. I can’t win for losin’.”
“What scares you the most about what happened today?”
“Everything, but mostly what if he’d taken my kids and nobody found them again? What if he taught Kyra that it was okay for her daddy and her boyfriend and her husband to knock the shit outta her?”
“You’ve worked very hard to get your children out of a dangerous and unhealthy situation, and I would imagine today felt as if all your hard work was for nothing.”
“Made me wonder what was the use.” Doris squeezed Tessa’s fingers. “Do you think it was a lie to tell my daughter she could be safe? Do you think it’s a lie to tell her not all men get mad and hit like her daddy?”
The assault on Tessa hadn’t been about anger. Those boys hadn’t bloodied and bruised her because they were mad. Tessa believed, based on her years of therapy, they’d done it because she’d rejected Harrison Shaw earlier that evening. And because he’d been attracted to her in the first place.
Although her memories of the physical events had been almost obliterated by the drug he’d given her, she remembered the moment when he called her a half-blood bitch.
It had taken her a long time to believe any male outside her family was safe and trustworthy. She still didn’t trust easily, and she d
id everything she could to avoid risky situations—elevators with only one other passenger, dark parking lots, parties where people were drinking too much.
“I think all children need to be taught to protect themselves and advocate for themselves,” she told Doris. “But you also have the power to help her connect with men who don’t abuse. Maybe someone in your family or church.”
Jonah’s image drifted through Tessa’s head. Messy hair, searing gaze, restless hands.
He was just a man.
In her recovery, she’d had to accept and embrace that although she’d been attacked by boys, another boy had been responsible for freeing her from that room.
Had she overcompensated and idolized Jonah for rescuing her?
Maybe.
But he’d been a critical touchpoint for her in therapy. In healing.
Yet, he distanced himself. From her. From others as well. He was a complicated man who held himself to high standards. Standards he might never believe he was meeting.
“Don’t know that I trust no man right now.”
“I understand why you might think that way.” Feeling like a kindred spirit with Doris, she stood and pulled the woman into a very nonprofessional hug. “Maybe you could talk with Dianne and she could suggest someone. I know men aren’t allowed in the shelter, but at the rec center—”
“You talkin’ about that rich white boy what built this place?”
The equilibrium Tessa had been fighting so hard to regain all day fled, whooshed out of her like a breath that had been punched from her lungs. He’d built this shelter? Why hadn’t he mentioned that earlier? No, she hadn’t idolized him too much. He was a hero, whether or not he accepted it. “I…I wasn’t thinking of anyone in particular.”
“Kids ’round here all like him,” she said. “I’m sure them fancy computers he bought don’t hurt none.”
This was all beginning to make more sense. What had spurred Jonah to become involved with a shelter like this? And why had he been so resistant to talking about it?
An even more disconcerting question was why she suddenly felt as if her own work was lacking. Was it because she’d avoided people in this kind of pain?
“But Dianne, she think a whole lotta him, too,” Doris said. “So there must be somethin’ good about him.”
Tessa was beginning to understand that Jonah didn’t realize just how good he really was.
To hell with having a team help with the suite of safety apps. Jonah would do it all himself as soon as possible. He’d just have to work on it and Tessa’s hacker problem at the same time.
If he’d already created the app, the cops would’ve been able to find Doris’s kids much faster.
He was waiting by the car, the sharp December breeze raking his hair and cutting across his face, when Tessa came across the walkway. He strode across the parking lot toward her.
She was moving slowly, cautiously, as if she was in physical pain. As if the stress of today had beaten her up. No, he would never again let anything in this world beat her up. He’d been a complete asshole earlier today, shoving off her concerns about her files. She’d hurt him, and all he’d wanted to do was push her away.
Yet she’d come running when he asked for a favor. Okay, maybe she hadn’t run, but she’d come. Even without all the details. Tonight, he owed her an explanation and an apology.
“I should never have asked you to do this.” With more control than he felt, he smoothed a hand over Tessa’s cheek. Fatigue shadowed her beautiful eyes.
For a split second, she leaned into his touch. Then she drew in a breath, took a step away, and lifted her lips in the sorriest excuse for a smile he’d ever seen. “I’m fine.”
With everything inside him, he wanted to lean down and kiss away her weariness. Breathe some of her burden into his own lungs. But after the way he’d reacted this morning, he didn’t have the right. So he lightly took her elbow and led her to the car.
She slid inside with a sigh.
Jonah skimmed her shoulder and let his hand linger until she finally looked up at him. “Thank you,” he said quietly.
She gave a quick nod and looked away.
This wasn’t what he’d expected. Based on their earlier conversation, he’d imagined she would come out with guns blazing and demand he tell her why he’d dragged her to a shelter she had no involvement with to help women she didn’t know.
He got in the car and said, “Are you hungry?”
Her hand immediately went to her stomach as if protecting it from the idea of food. “Yes and no.”
“We can get something here in town—”
“No restaurants.” She rested her head on the seat and closed her eyes.
“Then I’m taking you back to Steele Ridge.”
“Just drop me at my condo. I can Uber out there tomorrow to get my car.”
Wasn’t gonna happen, but he kept his trap shut, pulled out of the parking lot, and headed toward downtown.
A few minutes later, Tessa opened her eyes and frowned. “How do you know where you’re going? I never told you my address.”
He tapped the steering wheel with his thumbs. “Master hacker here, remember?”
“That’s an invasion of privacy.”
He sure wasn’t going to tell her that he knew a whole damn lot about Tessa Imani Martin. Or he thought he had until getting blindsided by her last night. First thing he’d done when he returned home from Charlotte was dig around for her new address.
Stalk much, Steele?
How had he missed the tidbits about her having a dog and becoming a self-defense instructor? He was slipping.
He pulled the car in front of her condo building and cut the engine.
“This is a no-parking zone. You will get towed if you leave your car here,” she said. “Besides, I didn’t invite you in.”
He held out his hand. “If you’ll give me your key and tell me what you need, I’ll be back in five minutes. I doubt they’ll tow with you sitting here.”
“What? No. I’m going inside, pouring myself a glass of wine, and sinking into a hot bubble bath.”
Uh-uh. He would not think about Tessa sliding into the water, white bubbles enveloping her gorgeous skin. “Your car is in Steele Ridge. Tell me what you need and I’ll pack an overnight bag for you.”
“Even if I were going back to Steele Ridge to pick up my car, I wouldn’t stay the night.”
“Fine. If you won’t hand over your key,” he said, sliding out of the driver’s seat, “I’ll get a master from the building manager.”
When Tessa hurried into the building behind him, he was chatting up the building manager. She strode toward Jonah as the manager handed over a key to him. She glared at them both with more force than a .68-caliber paintball blasting out of Reid’s new fully automatic guns. “Why did you give this man a key to my condo?”
“He…he said you were right outside and—”
“Never hand over my key to a stranger,” she told him before turning on Jonah. “And what do you think you’re doing?”
“Getting your things.”
“Go home, Jonah.”
“I thought you wanted to talk about why I asked you to help me today.” At this point, he was willing to give her part of the shelter story if it would make up for how he’d reacted to her request this morning.
She bit her lip, which meant he was tempting her. “Fine, give the key back to the manager, and you can walk me to my condo, but I’m not going back to Steele Ridge with you.”
Jonah returned the key to the manager. He walked beside Tessa down the hall and glanced over to find her watching him with a combo confusion-and-death stare. He’d take her confused. He’d take her pissed off.
Hell, he’d take any way he could get her.
She unlocked the door to number 102, and he followed her inside. That was when everything went to shit.
9
“Oh my God,” Tessa breathed, shock ricocheting through her.
“What?” Jo
nah moved quickly, hooking his arm in front of her and sweeping her behind him in one smooth move. “Shit!”
That was one word to describe her formerly ecru living room wall. On it, someone had spray-painted the words PLAY OR DIE. The strokes were so heavy that the paint had run in fat drips like the title of a cheesy horror movie.
The nausea that had threatened Tessa earlier made a reappearance. To tamp it down and calm her breathing, she leaned her forehead against Jonah’s back. His muscles were rigid beneath his jacket. The leather was cool, bringing momentary relief, so she pressed her cheek against it.
But the comfort didn’t last long because Jonah shoved her back out into the hallway and tried to shut the door on her.
Panic swarmed over her. “Wait. I have to get Badger.” He hadn’t made a sound when they’d entered the door. What if someone had—
“I’ll get your damn dog. Stay here until I come back.” Without another word, he quickly closed the door in her face.
She blinked. Had he just tossed her out of her own home? Who did he think he was to walk in and take over? She tried the doorknob only to discover it was locked from the inside.
She was fumbling with her keys when the door opened again and Jonah stood there holding a lethargic Badger.
“He’s sick. Someone hurt him. I will kill whoever—”
“Based on the smell of the cheese in his kennel, he was drugged, but he’s already coming around.”
Sure enough, Badger’s brown eyes opened and he wiggled his way out of Jonah’s hold and jumped. Used to his antics, Tessa grabbed him mid-flight.
Jonah said, “Whoever was here is long gone, but why don’t you wait out—”
“No. I get why you pushed me into the hall, but it’s my house and I want to see if there’s any other damage.”
“The front door was locked, but that obviously doesn’t mean shit, seeing as the building manager just handed over your key to me.”
“You said I was right outside. He wouldn’t have given it to just anyone.”
Stripping Bare (Steele Ridge Book 7) Page 8