Besides, she and Jonah needed to talk this through. If his brothers showed up, she might get shut out of the search for the hacker. And she’d be damned if she’d let that happen.
Tessa: Will the others follow Reid’s lead?
Brynne: It’s possible.
Not a sure thing, but it would have to do.
Tessa: Can you convince Reid to leave it alone until tomorrow? Jonah hasn’t had much rest and I have a feeling the whole thing could blow up.
Brynne: What whole thing?
Tessa: Jonah can explain it all in the morning.
Lord, he would kill her for making that promise to his family, but what was she supposed to do? He’d be even angrier if she let them come here tonight and she told them everything. Angry? He’d go apeshit.
Brynne: I’ll use every wile I have, but you’re gonna owe me.
Was Brynne one of those women who played the give-to-get game?
Tessa: What will I owe?
Brynne: You have to come see the sweater I think is perfect for you.
The breath Tessa had been holding released. That she could do.
Tessa: Deal.
Brynne: Be prepared. Night. :-)
With a flick of her thumb, Tessa dismissed the Facebook app. Well, that certainly hadn’t gone even close to the way she’d expected. And it was still just Badger and her alone in this huge house.
Tessa changed into a pair of jersey pajamas before pausing the security system and taking Badger outside. While he did an exploration of Jonah’s front yard, she stood on the porch with her arms wrapped around herself. Full dark had fallen and it seemed to press in on her as if it were alive.
You are safe. You are strong. You can take care of yourself.
She squinted, trying to spot Badger among the rhododendron and mountain laurel. Patting her thigh, she called, “C’mon, King B. Let’s go inside and get your dinner.”
Normally the word dinner was enough to bring him racing back to her, but not tonight. A big clump of bushy ferns moved off to Tessa’s right. Gotcha.
“Out of there, Badger.”
A series of sharp high barks came from the edge of the yard. That was Badger’s I-will-mess-you-up bark, and the sounds of it made Tessa’s stomach contract.
Probably just a rabbit.
Still, she picked up a landscaping rock and tiptoed toward where Badger’s barks were coming from. When she found her pup, he was standing at attention—tail rigid and the fur on his back in a mohawk of alarm—staring into the wooded area leading away from the house.
She grabbed him under the belly, settled him against her shoulder, and bolted for the front door. Badger’s growl vibrated against her chest until they got inside and she locked the door and reset the security system.
Her heart was thumping in an uneven rhythm as she poured Badger’s food in his bowl. He didn’t give it a second glance, which never happened. Instead of going nose-deep into his kibble, he trotted back and forth in front of the great room windows.
This was western North Carolina, critter wonderland. Besides, Badger had scared off whatever had been out there.
Nothing to worry about.
15
Tessa found a wet bar tucked into one wall of Jonah’s living room and poured herself a generous serving of Far Niente cabernet. “King B, let’s take your dinner upstairs.”
It made no logical sense, but she would feel safer on the second floor.
For a second, she debated texting Jonah to see when he’d be back. No. She was just spooked. Maybe if she settled down with a movie, the story and the wine would center her.
In her room, Badger circled her feet until she picked him up. “I’m restless, too, buddy.”
She flipped through the movies on her phone, choosing The Empire Strikes Back. Han and Leia’s first kiss never failed to make her heart sigh, and the asteroid scene always made her blood pump faster.
Han Solo: Never tell me the odds.
That was probably also a good adage when it came to getting close to Jonah Steele. Because if Tessa had known how hard it would be to crack his shell, she might’ve talked herself out of pursuing him.
She glanced at the cushy reading chair in the corner. Comfortable as it appeared, it wasn’t calling to her tonight. So she strolled down the hall until she came to a door she thought led into Jonah’s bedroom. Some creative juggling allowed her to turn the doorknob and flip on the light.
Wow.
Two entire walls were floor-to-ceiling windows. The other two walls were paneled with horizontal heart pine boards. A king-size platform bed was tucked against one of the wood walls and above it hung a stylized depiction of a blond woman in a blue skinsuit. On her arm was some type of cannon, making it clear she was no one’s damsel in distress.
Okay, so Jonah wasn’t a sexist when it came to video game characters.
Tessa just needed to make sure he saw that she could be just as kick-ass as Ms. Blue Skinsuit. Maybe she didn’t have weapons strapped to her arms, but she was far from defenseless.
She’d made damn sure of that.
The bed was covered in a down duvet and a woven throw, and on either side, pendant lights were centered over side tables. The corner area between the walls of windows was set up like a sitting room, with a leather love seat, a couple of mid-century chairs, and an ottoman serving as a coffee table. The ottoman was littered with haphazard stacks of graphic novels, manga, and gaming magazines.
She saw Jonah echoed everywhere. Smart design. Natural textures. Creative art. And sleek lines that deceptively camouflaged complexity.
Unable to help herself, she went to explore the master bathroom.
If the bedroom was wow, this room was wooooow. The floor was covered with intricately patterned green and gray tile that led to a shower big enough for a cocktail party, but the fixture that captured Tessa’s attention was the bathtub. If something that sumptuous could be called a tub.
With two levels, one built above the other, the continually running water cascaded. During her years of active recovery, her therapist had recommended that Tessa reconnect with her body. To reclaim it for herself. That process had started with warm, relaxing baths. Then she’d moved on to looking at her body through the water, reacquainting herself with what someone else had tried to take from her.
Water had helped her reclaim her confidence. Helped her regain comfort with her body.
The thought of being in that tub with Jonah, both of them slick and naked, made awareness sluice through her. Her nipples hardened and her thighs clenched. She wanted to back him against one of the sides, straddle him, and ride him until they were both out of their minds.
She could all but feel his big hands on her hips, lifting her, then pulling her down to fill her. Chest to chest, her arms around his neck, her lips on his.
The truth was she wanted to fuck that man’s brains out. Wanted to screw him until he was too endorphined-out to resist her, to fight her anymore. She wanted him to see her as the woman she was now.
Wanted him to truly accept how amazing they could be together, both physically and emotionally. She and Jonah were meant to be together. She knew that as well as she knew her own name.
She returned to the sitting area in the bedroom, drank her wine, and watched half of the movie. But for once, it wasn’t holding her interest. The day had finally worn her out. She wasn’t willing to let Jonah slip past her when he came home.
She could’ve stretched out on the love seat, but the bed called to her. Of course Badger trotted over with her and scratched at the side of the mattress. “How about a pillow tonight? I’m not sure Jonah wants Badger fur in his bed.”
Badger dropped back to all fours and gave her a disgruntled look over his shoulder. But when she placed a king-size pillow on the floor and patted it, he curled up on it with a huff.
She fiddled with the switch for the bedside light and discovered she could dim it rather than black out the room, which would make her rest easier. For the most par
t, she’d left the past where it belonged, but she liked to be able to see her surroundings.
Sliding between the smooth sheets, she caught Jonah’s scent—cedar and leather—on the pillow. Yum. She wanted to bury her face in it. To satisfy her sensory urges, she settled onto her stomach and rubbed her cheek against the cool fabric. Within minutes her eyes were drooping.
I’ll just rest them for a little while.
When Tessa woke, the room was black except for a fingernail moon glowing from outside the massive windows. Her fingers clutched at the sheets under her, but she refused to panic. Maybe the bedroom lights were on a timer. The switch was about six inches above the bedside table. All she had to do was reach out and—
A big hand landed on her right butt cheek and she squealed. With a desperate shove, she hit the switch and low light glowed. She fish-flopped to her back, which only moved the hand from her backside to her frontside.
Her thundering heartbeat throttled back slightly. She knew that hand, because it was attached to the dark-haired, scruffy-faced man currently breathing rhythmically in deep sleep. Why hadn’t he woken her when he came in? Why hadn’t Badger alerted her?
Thanks a lot, King B.
The duvet had been pushed down, revealing the broad bare expanse of Jonah’s back. A tender impulse made Tessa want to press a kiss to each bump along his spine.
How could she get out of this awkward position without waking him? By his deep breathing, it was obvious the day had worn him out as much as it had her. Probably more, since he hadn’t slept the night before.
To shift his hand away, she circled his right wrist just below his tattoo. The three connected triangles each held a jewel-toned gem. Every time she saw them, his tattoos set off heat low in her body. They were even sexier from this vantage point. Would they stretch over his forearm when he slid his fingers inside her? Would they flex and bunch when he withdrew and thrust in again?
She wanted to see that so badly. But not like this. Not while he was unaware.
Her touch must’ve set off some reflex. Because Jonah’s fingers curled possessively between her legs, pressing the fabric of her pajamas against her and sending a jolt through her body. Her hips instinctively lifted.
Jonah’s eyes opened. No sleepy haze. No foggy confusion. Just asleep one second, and awake the next. “What are you doing?” His voice was a sexy, sleep-roughened rumble.
“Um…ah…I was trying to…”
He glanced down and seemed to realize the location of his wayward hand. To her surprise, he didn’t pull it away. Instead, one side of his mouth lifted in a bad-boy half smile.
And oh, that did her in. Set her on fire. Made her wet. Made her want.
He had to be able to feel her response.
And if he didn’t do something about it, she would go to her room, dig out her vibrator, and stomp back here and…and…
“Something fierce just went through your mind,” he said. “What was it?”
“That if you don’t follow through on your hand’s promise, I’m going to trade you in for a sex toy.”
At that, he blinked.
“I was just trying to move your hand. I didn’t want you to wake up and think I somehow tried to take advantage of you.”
“Seeing as it’s my hand on you, that doesn’t really compute. Were you waiting on me in my bed?”
Oh, put that way, it did look more than a little calculated. “I had a glass of wine and watched part of a movie. I was sleepy, but didn’t want to go back to my room because I knew you wouldn’t wake me to talk.”
“You were right.”
“So this wasn’t some big seduction plan.”
“Then let’s go back to sleep.”
“I’ve had sex,” she blurted out.
“I know because—”
“I’ve had sex with men besides you. Before whatever we did in Seattle and after.”
“Oh.” The word was more of an annoyed grunt than an expression of relief.
“Remember when you asked me about touching myself?”
“I’ll remember until I’m a hundred.”
“That was part of my recovery, learning that I had say-so over my body. That I could enjoy being touched again. That I was capable of sexual satisfaction. Now, I make my own choices about sex.”
“That…that’s good.”
“And I choose you. But you have to choose me back. Why do you keep pushing me away?”
“I’m afraid I want you too much.”
“How is that even possible?”
“I damn well don’t deserve you!” He sat up and shoved his fingers into his hair. “Think about what happened when we were together in Seattle.”
“Besides the five-star orgasm, you mean?”
“I ripped your clothes.”
Yes, she still had that camisole tucked inside her bedroom drawer after all this time. Pulled it out on occasion to refresh her memory of what it felt like to be loved by Jonah Steele. “Thin straps and men don’t always get along.”
“You don’t understand.”
Oh, but she thought she might. “You’re worried about something.”
“I don’t want to hurt you. In any way.”
“And you think a seam popping somehow damaged me?”
“Tess, what you looked like sitting on my desk, top ripped, skirt shoved up to your…”
A flash of insight so bright that it almost blinded her bolted through her. He’d had some kind of flashback that night. That was why he’d pushed her away.
“You didn’t hurt me. You won’t hurt me. You can’t.”
“Maybe you haven’t noticed that I’m twice your size.”
Oh, she’d noticed. She’d also noticed he was half hard. Had been since he’d woken up with his hand between her legs.
“This isn’t a good time,” he said.
“When will it be a good time? Truth is, whether we do this tonight or next month, I will still be a rape victim. People live and love with baggage all the time. If you really want to be with me, we have to get past it. Together.”
With a flip of his wrist, he captured her hand and pressed it against the front of his shorts. “That’s what you do to me.” Each word was dripping in self-disgust. “And it makes me want to tear at your clothes, get between your legs, and…”
“Not made of glass, remember?” She squeezed his erection through the fabric of his sleep shorts, felt him expand in her hand. “You don’t scare me.”
His eyes closed and his jaw tightened as though he was fighting off pain, but he wrapped his hand around hers until they were both fisting his cock. “What’s that feel like to you?”
“About the right number of inches for satisfaction.”
The sound that came from Jonah’s throat couldn’t be mistaken for anything but what it was—an animalistic growl. And it rippled through Tessa’s body, raising pricks of pleasure along her nerve endings.
16
“Jonah, you can’t hurt me because I will always tell you if something makes me uncomfortable,” Tessa said. “And I trust you to listen.”
I trust you. Her words reverberated through him.
Tessa pulled him down to the bed, rolled over, and aligned her body on his so they were pelvis to pelvis, chest to chest, face to face.
When she slid her lips across his, he was sunk. He’d been fighting his hunger for this woman for years, but he was all out of fight tonight. Honestly had no idea of what he was fighting anymore.
She was right. Who was he to judge and decide what was best for her?
He drew his hands up to cradle her head, sinking his fingers into her wild bedhead curls. With his mouth, he coaxed her lips open so he could taste her fully. Before they were done, he would know her entire flavor.
He wanted so many things when it came to this woman, it would take a lifetime to explore them all.
Lifetime. The word spiraled around in his head.
What would it be like to spend a lifetime with Tessa?
&nb
sp; He didn’t know, but tonight he would try to be what she needed.
Reluctantly, he drew away from her to reach for the bedside light switch.
Tessa opened dazed eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Turning off the light.”
“I like to have the light on.”
An uneasy feeling drew tight in Jonah’s gut. In the dark, he could do this. But when he could see her, all of her, he just didn’t know. Maybe they should just—
“I know that look on your face.”
“What look?”
“It’s the one that says you’re on the verge of changing your mind.”
“I prefer the dark.”
“It’s because of me, isn’t it?”
He wasn’t about to say yes. It wasn’t because of her. It was because he hadn’t allowed himself to forget a single thing about that night. Because he still had nightmares about it sometimes. But he couldn’t replace those images with happier ones, healthier ones, if he never let go of the old ones. Let go of his fear about hurting her. He held out his hand to her. “How about a compromise?”
Now, she was the one to look uncertain as she stared at his outstretched hand. “I feel like we’ve been playing a strange game of sexual musical chairs. I’m ready for the music to stop for good.”
His stomach still jumping, he said, “I promise.”
When she took his hand, everything settled inside him. Into certainty. Into peace. Into smooth desire.
“Come with me.” He led her from the bed into his over-the-top bathroom. Even his designer had lifted an eyebrow at the overkill in this room, but now Jonah was glad he’d fought for every detail. Nothing less would do justice to what was about to happen between Tessa and him.
He tapped a controller on the wall, and the waterfall stopped recirculating and began filling the tub. With another adjustment on the controller, a muted glow came from under the water.
Tessa leaned over to drag her fingers through the water. With her hair tumbling down her back, her beautiful skin and rumpled PJs, she was like the promise of a sunrise. And he could see her as if it were the first time. A new first time.
Stripping Bare (Steele Ridge Book 7) Page 15