by Naomi West
Unfortunately, Christine also had a few things to say about Ivy, none of them I wanted to hear.
Slithering forward on her impractical heels, Christine’s eyes darkened as they fell on me. She watched me through her thick, black lashes, her eyes nearly black with some kind of emotion. “Well, well, gentlemen. It’s good to see the clubhouse being put back together.” Her manicured fingers wrapped around Kelly’s left arm, even as she tried to stare me down. But I wasn’t in the mood. I kept my eyes locked on hers until she gave up and turned away.
“Where is your tag-a-long, Creed? Or did she give up and go back to Mommy and Daddy?” Christine asked, her mouth turned up in something that looked more like a threat than a smile. She was still wearing that blood-red lipstick, her green eyes surrounded by glittering eye shadow. Her blonde hair fell around her shoulders loose in long, golden waves.
“Ivy spent the whole day helping us clean up the clubhouse,” I answered calmly, doing my best to keep my face bored. “She did more than some of the others,” I finished, pointedly, wanting to piss off Christine enough that she would leave. Instead, she seemed to see my reply as some kind of challenge.
“Amazing that someone so weak and brittle could manage to do anything constructive,” she snapped, her emerald-green eyes narrowing at me.
I could feel my shoulders tighten at the pathetic jealousy in her tone, but I forced myself to breathe. “Yes, she injured both hands, but still managed to help with the construction. I think I misjudged her.”
Remember, if they kill you, both Ivy and Josh will no longer be protected under the Edge’s rules. They’ll either kill them both or worse. If I repeated it to myself enough, perhaps I would be able to remain calm through the rest of this horrible conversation.
Christine bristled at my words, fire in her eyes. “That bitch still has no spine, and you know it.”
Kelly was amused, watching me closely for the telltale signs of me losing my temper. But the thoughts of Ivy and Josh’s faces cooled my temper as fast as ice water.
“I’d like to help her find her spine,” Kelly whispered, his eyes too wide, his smile too big. He looked like some kind of crazed cartoon villain. I shivered a little, but managed to keep a lid over my disgust.
“Come now,” Christine answered, batting her lashes up at Kelly. “You could do much better than that little piece of trash. She can’t even stand up for herself!”
I made the mistake of glancing over at Ivy; her shoulders were tense and her head hung down. She’s heard Christine’s words, and I could feel my rage at that choking me as it filled my throat.
“It’s true,” I whispered quietly, my eyes locked on Christine. “I could never really want some girl who doesn’t know how to get what she wants. Someone who is afraid to grab life and just take it.”
A shiver went through Christine’s body as I eyed her. Thankfully, it subdued her jealously long enough to get her to shut up. Her mouth seemed locked closed around her words, like she was too surprised to say anything properly. Wide-eyed, she just stared at me, then glanced at Ivy, then back.
Before either she or Kelly could come up with something else to say, I nodded to them both. “Bax has a bottle of beer with my name on it.”
Kelly dismissed me with a wave of his head, his mad amusement still stretching his features. I shivered, unable to suppress it. I made my way over to when Bax was sitting with Josh. My eyes automatically looked for Ivy, but she was no longer there.
“Hi, Dad,” Josh whispered as I walked over. His eyes looked glazed over, like he was exhausted and doing his best to hide it. The poor kid’s eyes seemed to stick closed every time he blinked.
Bax chuckled at Josh, looking him over with eyes full of affection. It was odd to think that Josh had more than just me to defend him. Maybe, even if something happened to me, Josh would make it out okay. I really hope so; that last conversation with Kelly and Christine had made up my mind.
I was going to meet with Carlos.
It was insane, and I was almost guaranteed to be caught and killed. But I was running out of good options. I wanted Christine away from Ivy, away from my son, and away from the Devil’s Edge forever. And if that meant coming together with Carlos to make a plan to take out Kelly, then so be it. I would make a deal with any devil to keep my people safe.
They are my people. As little as I want to run this place, I’ve been thinking like a leader a lot more often these last few months. Perhaps it was because Kelly had spent so little time acting like one. Or maybe it was something else.
If only Kelly had left me another choice. But there was more crazy in his eyes every single day. And now, looking down at my son, I could see the worry in his tiny face. I saw it echoed in most of the eyes of every in the Edge; they would fall or rise by Kelly’s actions.
And his actions weren’t ever going to any one of us any good.
I could feel the weight of my decision heavy on my shoulders, dragging me down along a river of self-doubt. I questioned myself again and again, and yet always came to the same conclusion.
“Come on, Josh; time to get some rest, kiddo,” I told him. He nodded sleepily, his head lolling a little on his neck. “Before you pass out.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Ivy
It was hard not to overhear the conversation between Kelly, Christine, and Creed. I know that Christine was talking just loud enough for me to hear her every word on purpose, bringing her private conversation with him to everyone in the whole building’s ears, whether they wanted to hear it or not.
As much as I didn’t want her opinions of me to sting, they did. But everything she said didn’t hurt as much as Creed’s reply to it all.
“I could never really want some girl who doesn’t know how to get what she wants. Someone who is afraid to grab life and just take it.”
Those words echoed inside of my brain as I walked away from the Edge, embarrassed and hurt. I could feel the thunder of my blood in my veins. It felt like every single person inside of the building was watching me leave, could see the shame written in every line of my body. To them, I was a failure. But even worse, I was a failure to myself.
And I was a failure to the man I loved.
It’s stupid to love Creed; there is no way he will ever return it. I will be one of those horror stories that ends in tragedy. The air outside was colder, colder than it should have been. I felt like I had just walked into dead winter without a coat.
Shivering, I started walking. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I was very sure I couldn’t stay at the Edge. Sleeping in the same room as Creed, knowing what he thought of me, sounded like slow torture.
The parking lot of the warehouses around the Edge were empty, no one around. The whole world seemed abandoned. I kept walking, my mind reeling. No matter what you do, it will never be enough for Creed. He’ll find fault in everything you do for the Edge, everything you bring to his table. Unless you do something stupid and big. Something he’ll have no choice but to recognize.
That idea I’d been forming my head earlier poked back into the front of my brain. But that idea was crazy; too crazy. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.
But then I could hear Christine’s insults. I could hear Pearl’s words echoing around in my skull too. And worst of all, I could hear Creed again.
“I could never really want some girl who doesn’t know how to get what she wants. Someone who is afraid to grab life and just take it.”
Feeling stupid and not at all brave, I walked to the bus station. Even this late at night, the buses would be running. The city never slept and neither didn’t the transportation systems. I got on, handing several coins to the sleepy-looking bus operator before taking a seat. There was no one on this bus but me and a very young couple. I ignored them as they made out in the back seat, their technicolored hair mingling together into a rainbow as they sucked each other’s faces.
The city streamed by, all of its brilliant colors muted by the weird copper color of t
he streetlights. Like this, the city looked cleaner, emptier. It was like nothing could touch the bronzed statue that was the streets. Not until the sun came up and washed it away.
I ignored everything until we pulled up to the intersection I wanted. I pressed the button indicating I wanted to get off, and the bus screeched to halt at the corner. The streets were alive with noise as I stepped off of the bus. But I still had a long way to walk.
I was exhausted, but I forced myself to take the long way around. I needed to remember every little thing that had been ripped from me. Perhaps it would cement this crazy idea in my head if I could see it.
So I walked down the long, brick-paved street in the center of the city, where my new apartment would have been if it wasn’t for Janice. I glanced around the beautiful, quiet, walk-only street, staring up at the swirling, wrought iron balcony railings, trying to remember which one was going to be mine. Which of those amazing views would have been mine? But I could no longer remember; was it the second to the left or second to the right? I kept walking, trying not to hover too long in one place. Someone might mistake me for a homeless person and call the police on me.
Ironic, at the moment, I am homeless. I could feel a weight in my stomach as that thought really hit home. I couldn’t go back to the motel. I’d been forced to give it up when I could no longer pay the bills. Creed hadn’t been giving me a paycheck.
I had seventeen dollars left to my name. Outside of that, I really truly had nothing. In all honesty, I didn’t even own a change of clothing; I had been wearing the outfit for the past few days, only switching it out for one of Pearl’s castoffs when I had to wash it.
The worst has truly happened then. I could not be further away from the life my father had wanted for me. I couldn’t be further from the life I’d wanted for me.
I’m not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the walk from the paved stones over to the paved streets, the sadness and depression that had been a part of my life for the last few months melted away. In its wake came a smoldering rage that started in my belly and started to slowly spread outward like a forest fire.
My broken, leaky boots made a soft quacking sound on the slightly damp pavement as I walked up Cardinal and 7th. There it was. Tiny and insignificant in this little town, but it had been mine. My tiny little studio apartment I’d had before I’d lost everything. It was the first time in my life I’d lived alone. The first time I had space to myself that I could do whatever I wanted with.
My eyes teared up as the smolder in my stomach burst into flames. But my tour wasn’t done. I needed to see the rest. I needed to remember.
So I kept going, feeling the rage grow with every single step. I could feel it burning along my veins and seething across my bones. Every step that brought me closer to that little shop. I knew it would be closed. I knew Janice would go back to her apartment, sleeping soundly off of the comfort of my dollar.
By the time I reached the shop, it felt like my whole body was aflame. I was ready for war, and I knew just what to do about it.
Although there was a still a part of me that wanted to argue, that wanted to stop and think it over before I committed, there was also a big part of me that just was dying to be reckless. I never knew it existed until now, seething just under the surface, waiting for its opportunity to make me do something insane.
The storefront was closed down, but a light was on somewhere in the store. Perhaps it was Janice, keeping up the books, studying the trends of my money as it flowed into her pocket. The streets were hushed like they waited to see what I would do next. Hands in my pockets against the chilly evening, I watched the light inside. The rage inside still burned so brightly, more brightly than anything I remember feeling for the last few months. The fog of my indecision lifted, like dawn over the clouds.
Oh yes, I thought my mouth curling up into a smile I didn’t recognize. “I’m going to do the stupid thing. Then, all of this will be mine again.”
The thrill of it poured over me like a drug. I liked the feeling of doing something wrong. I couldn’t wait to see what Janice’s face looked like when I finally came for her. I hoped to watch her world crash around her ears just like my world had crashed around mine.
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a business card. Carlos had slipped it to me during Creed’s first infiltration of the Carrion Club. It had nothing on it but a phone number. I pulled it and fifty cents out of my pocket, trying not to think about the dwindling money I had left in my clothes.
It took me a few blocks of walking to find a working payphone; there were precious few of them left in a world that was crowded with cell phones. But there was one at the 7-11 close to my old motel room. I put the quarters in, my fingers trembling with a combination of excitement and nerves.
I recognized the voice that answered the phone. “Hello, Ms. Ivy.” Carlos sounded just as icy as ever, his voice empty and grave.
I swallowed, trying to wet my suddenly incredibly dry mouth. “Carlos. I want to make another deal with you.” Silence reigned for a few heartbeats, but it felt like an eternity. I twirled the nasty black cord around my fingers, gripping the receiver in white-knuckled fingers.
Finally, he answered. “I’m listening.”
“I will guarantee a meeting between you and Creed Carver.”
I could practically hear him blink in surprise. “If?” he prompted a kind of relief in his voice.
I grinned. “I just need a quick favor. Do you have a few men you can spare?”
“I might. Tell me about your plan.”
So I told him. Before the end of the conversation, Carlos was chuckling. “I believe you have yourself a deal. Good luck, Ms. Ivy. I look forward to meeting with your Creed.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Creed
Ivy was no longer inside the Edge’s clubhouse.
Somehow, not a single person saw her leave. Not a single person seemed to know where she could have gone. She vanished as though she had never been, and I quivered with a combination of fear and rage. Didn’t I go through all of that trouble to get her back just a few hours ago? Where could she have gone this late at night?”
Josh fidgeted, playing with a bread tie he’d picked up off of the floor somewhere. “She looked really tired, so I thought she went to go lay down. She got really tired after Christine was talking shit to her. I don’t like that lady; she looks like some kind of circus performer.”
Bax laughed. “And what do you know about the circus?”
“The TV talks about it,” Josh said, sticking his chin out in defiance.
The smile faded from Bax’s face as quickly as it had appeared. “I saw her get up, too, but she just looked unhappy, Creed. I thought she’d gone for a smoke or a walk or something. She didn’t want to be bothered, so I didn’t bother her. I didn’t think she’d bail.”
“Maybe she’s gone out for food or something?” Josh asked, trying to be helpful.
I just nodded; I didn’t want Josh to worry about Ivy, so I just agreed with him. As soon as he was back to playing, his mind at ease, I sought out anyone else who might have seen her leave. One of the Edge women saw her leave but hadn’t thought she’d gone out for a cigarette. Another saw her walk around the building, but didn’t really watch her walk away.
Not a single person could think of anywhere she would have gone.
I finally found Pearl; she was resting against her husband. The two of them looked worse for wear after this week. I couldn’t blame them. They were getting to the point in their careers where they would be looking to retire if they were out in the world. My eyes ran over the two them, worried at the new lines on their faces. Pearl looked too pale and Patrick looked strained, his face red and beaded with sweat.
If I end up pushing Kelly off of his throne, I will give them the option to retire with honors. The two of them had served loyally for decades. Although the current Devil’s Edge charter didn’t allow for retirement (since most of us didn’t even live long enoug
h to consider it), I would see to it that they had the option. We are a family first and foremost. Or at least we were once. When did we lose sight of that?
I put most of the blame on Kelly’s shoulders. It was his ascent to the top ranking that had made my father want to leave; I was old enough at the time to remember the man who held his position before him. I didn’t remember much about him, but I remember thinking him fair and level-headed. He wasn’t kind; anyone kind in our line of work would never make it to the top.
“Pearl, Patrick; have you seen Ivy?” I asked.
They turned to me with tired eyes, their expressions slack. “I thought she was with Josh?” Pearl said as she blinked over in that direction. “Did she wander off?”
Patrick grinned at me, patting me gently on the arm. “You just changed her life completely around, boy. Give her a chance to adjust. She is probably just hiding somewhere and working out her feelings.”