But I know it isn't the light, and that no one would be able to see what is about to show itself to me.
The form clarifies into an image so achingly familiar a bolt of pain shoots through my heart. It's me, but not. A reflection of the woman whose face I have shared since birth.
She smiles in that sad way that resonates so deeply, and I can't turn my head, can't look away, even knowing what's about to happen.
The smile fades on the beautiful elfin face, wide green eyes almost too large, skin too pale, the color of porcelain.
No longer my own reflection, my twin stares back at her, mouth twisting into something grotesque as the voices return in whispers that grow into screams. Celeste, save me. Help me. He's hurting me. Why won't you help me? It hurts. Celeste!
I cover my ears, but the voice doesn't just live outside my head, and nothing can shut out the sound once it begins. Whimpering, scared, unable to face this ghost yet again—this mental madness brought on by loss and grief and an unfortunate spin of the genetic lottery— I run.
I run off the bridge, away from the cursed water, away from my own insanity. I've taken the pills, done the counseling, followed all the rules, but it hasn't gone away.
I know only one thing can stop it now.
As I stumble toward my flat, latching onto my keys, I feel someone watching me from the shadows, but when I turn to look, no one's there. Still, my skin prickles and the hair on my arms stand on end. I'm not alone.
But it doesn't matter.
Only one thing matters right now—quieting the voices once and for all.
For years, I hated my mother for what she did to find relief from her madness.
It wasn't until recently that I finally understood. That I finally felt compassion. That I finally realized this was the true curse of our family.
I've had the plan for weeks, ever since that night, but I never really thought I'd follow through with it. Tonight, I know I will. There is no more doubt. No more fear. Only a deep relief that soon it will all be over.
Once inside my flat, I don't bother kicking off my shoes or placing my keys on the hand-painted table under the mirror in the entryway. I drop everything on the floor and make my way to the small bathroom adjacent to my bedroom. I've already written the note. They will find it on my desk next to my laptop.
I don't bother taking off my white dress, though I do pull off my coat. I almost laugh at the absurdity that the moment before my death I would be worried about ruining my favorite—and most expensive—indulgence, my beautiful red wool coat.
I take the razor blade I purchased just for this occasion, turn on my bath, and sink into the warm water. My red scarf floats around me like blood. How fitting, I think, as I place the silver blade against my left wrist.
I know how to cut, vertically not horizontally. I know which veins to hit to get the job done correctly. Living alone helps. No one will look for me until tomorrow when I don't show up for school.
I idly wonder who will come checking in. Probably Mike, from Art History. He's been asking me out for months and would want to be the first to 'help'. But maybe Lacy will insist, knowing I don't fancy Mike at all. I actually hope it's Mike and not Lacy. I don't want my friend seeing me like this.
The slice doesn't hurt like I imagined it would. It almost feels good, like it's cutting into an illness and letting out the infection. As the blood flows into the water, covering my pale skin, staining my white dress, I imagine all the crazy bleeding away. Soon I'll be with my sister and my parents again.
Soon, I will be free of the madness that has taken the sanity, and lives, of every woman in my family for generations.
My eyes are closed, lost in dreams of death, when a stranger's arms pull me out of the water.
"You poor girl. There's hope for you yet." His voice is the last thing I hear before I fade into nothing.
GET IT ON AMAZON: Mad Girl: Locked Up
About Karpov Kinrade
Karpov Kinrade is the pen name for the husband and wife writing duo of USA TODAY bestselling, award-winning authors Lux Karpov-Kinrade and Dmytry Karpov-Kinrade.
Together, they live in Ukiah, California and write fantasy and science fiction novels and screenplays, make music and direct movies.
Look for more from Karpov Kinrade in The Night Firm, Vampire Girl, Of Dreams and Dragons, Nightfall Academy and Paranormal Spy Academy. If you’re looking for their suspense and romance titles, you’ll now find those under Alex Lux.
They live with their three teens who share a genius for all things creative, and seven cats who think they rule the world (spoiler, they do.)
Want their books and music before anyone else and also enjoy weekly interactive flash fiction? Join them on Patreon at Patreon.com/karpovkinrade
Find them online at KarpovKinrade.com
On Facebook /KarpovKinrade
On Twitter @KarpovKinrade
And subscribe to their newsletter at ReadKK.com for special deals and up-to-date notice of new launches.
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About Heather Hildenbrand
Heather Hildenbrand was born and raised in a small town in northern Virginia where she was homeschooled through high school. (She's only slightly socially awkward as a result.) She writes paranormal and contemporary romance with plenty of abs and angst. Her most frequent hobbies are riding motorcycles and avoiding killer slugs.
You can find out more about Heather and her books at heatherhildenbrand.com.
Also by Karpov Kinrade
Dungeon Queen
Warrior Queen
Mad Girl: Locked Up
Mad Girl: Fights Back
The Night Firm
I Am the Wild
I Am the Storm
I Am the Night
Wanted
In the Vampire Girl Universe
Vampire Girl
Vampire Girl 2: Midnight Star
Vampire Girl 3: Silver Flame
Vampire Girl 4: Moonlight Prince
Vampire Girl 5: First Hunter
Vampire Girl 6: Unseen Lord
Vampire Girl 7: Fallen Star
Vampire Girl: Copper Snare
Vampire Girl: Crimson Cocktail
Vampire Girl: Christmas Cognac
Of Dreams and Dragons
Get the soundtrack for I AM THE WILD, OF DREAMS AND DRAGONS and MOONSTONE ACADEMY wherever music can be found.
Nightfall Academy
Court of Nightfall
Weeper of Blood
House of Ravens
Night of Nyx
Song of Kai
Daughter of Strife
Paranormal Spy Academy (complete academy sci fi thriller romance)
Forbidden Mind
Forbidden Fire
Forbidden Life
Our ALEX LUX BOOKS!
The Seduced Saga (paranormal romance with suspense)
Seduced by Innocence
Seduced by Pain
Seduced by Power
Seduced by Lies
Seduced by Darkness
The Call Me Cat Trilogy (romantic suspense)
Call Me Cat
Leave Me Love
Tell Me True
(Standalone romcon with crossover characters)
Hitched
Whipped
Kiss Me in Paris (A standalone romance)
Our Children's Fantasy collection under Kimberly Kinrade
The Three Lost Kids series
Lexie World
Bella World
Maddie World
The Three Lost Kids and Cupid's Capture
The Three Lost Kids and the Death of the Sugar Fairy
The Three Lost Kids and the Christmas Curse
Also by Heather Hildenbrand
The Girl Who Cried Werewolf: Bookstagrammer Romy Cartelli discovers book boyfriends are real. But not every supernatural creature come t
o life is one of the good guys.
Goddess Ascending: In order to save her family and the one she loves, she’ll have to ascend—if the darkness doesn’t get to her first.
The Monster Ball Anthology: 13 bestselling paranormal romance authors bring you a night you won’t forget! One night a year, the supernatural elite all gather for a party like no other. And remember, what happens at the ball stays at the ball.
The Girl Who Called The Stars: A fierce heroine far from home and the army she left behind must reunite to save the galaxy from utter darkness.
Remembrance: She’s the cure that could save him… if only she could remember how. “Witches, Werewolves, and WTF?!”
Bitter Rivalry: Two long lost sisters are reunited and forced to compete for the alpha role in their pack. The winner has been promised to the vampire prince. One sister wants to kiss him; the other wants to kill him. Can siblings survive rivalry and forbidden love?
A Risk Worth Taking: A New Adult Contemporary Romance with southern charm and a hippie farmer capable of swoon and heartbreak in the same breath.
Dirty Blood: A Young Adult Paranormal Romance about a girl who falls in love with a werewolf, only to find out she’s a Hunter, born and bred to kill the very thing she means to save.
Imitation: A Young Adult SciFi Romance with life or death choices and a conspiracy so deep, even a motorcycle-riding bodyguard can’t pull you out.
O Face: Is Summerville’s most eligible bachelor hot enough to melt the ice princess herself?
For a complete list of titles, visit www.heatherhildenbrand.com.
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