by Nina Bangs
“And that does what?”
“We both become more. You’d be immortal if you weren’t already. It bonds us as mates forever.”
“How do you know all this?”
He shrugged. “Ty and Al have shared some things. But mostly it just feels . . . right. Like I’ve done this before. But I can’t remember.” He closed his eyes, but not before she saw his pain. “I can never remember.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She stroked his face. “I love you so much I’d dance naked over hot coals. A virtual trip into your past isn’t going to discourage me. All I have to do is get through the walking-into-the-heart-of-your-beast part.” And once she’d returned, she’d be able to at least give him a peek into that before time.
He opened his eyes and gazed at her. His lips tilted up. “Dancing naked. Now that image is burned into the back of my lids forever.”
Utah might be smiling, but she felt his relief. “Why don’t you find Tor? I’ll wait here.”
He hesitated for a moment before disappearing into the darkness. She spent the next few minutes staring down on Portland and marveling how love could make the night come alive in a way that had nothing to do with her vampire senses. And as she absorbed the fact that she really was going to share her life, her love with Utah, the scabs that had formed over Katherine’s memory slid away, leaving only shiny new hopes behind.
She turned as Utah and Tor emerged from the darkness. Tor hugged Lia. “He’s a good man, and a great pack mate. You won’t see anything in his past to contradict that.” He glanced at his brother. “Rap would love her. Go for it, bro.” He clapped Utah on the back and then stood back to watch.
Lia nodded as she swiped at her damp cheeks. Dumb tears. She hadn’t cried when she was a kid, but she was sure making up for it now. “Let’s do it.”
Utah walked a short distance away and then turned. He stared at her, all his love and promises for the future there for her to see. “If you want to escape at any time, turn around and go back the way you came. I’ll understand.”
He became raptor.
Lia started walking. Only her enhanced vision allowed her to see the faint form of the man within the beast. She focused on his shadowy human shape. When she took that last step, she resisted the urge to close her eyes and trusted that she wouldn’t go splat against his body.
She passed through and into his predator past.
Lia didn’t have time to feel fear. As vampire, she had her own predator roots. Silently, she circled around herds of massive plant-eaters while she kept watch for any more dangerous animals. She didn’t allow herself to dwell on her aloneness in this strange landscape of grass, trees, and rocks that seemed to go on forever.
But when she finally spotted Utah and his pack, she couldn’t stop her surge of primal fear. Her instincts understood the danger.
She recognized him even though his raptor had no identifying human form within it. This was a savage killer. He wouldn’t know her. She’d be nothing but prey to him.
Lia crouched and held her breath until the pack spotted a herd animal lagging behind the others. Relieved that she wouldn’t be a raptor meal today, she followed the chase at a safe distance. And when the bloody takedown and kill happened, she forced herself to watch.
The Utah she loved would expect no less. He’d want her to know the worst as well as the best of him. What he still might not believe was that his worst made no difference to her love.
Reluctantly, she finally moved on. She didn’t have a clue where she was going, but she knew she had to keep traveling.
Night fell, and the darkness was a black shroud, unrelieved by any modern lighting. So she wasn’t aware that everything around her was changing.
Suddenly, explosions rocked the night. The ground shook, and the sky turned red as fires raged. In their glow, she saw alien buildings so tall they seemed to pierce the crimson sky. Destruction and death surrounded her.
Her heart pounded, a drumroll of primal panic and unreasoning dread. Her breaths came in panicked gasps. It didn’t matter that a vampire should be beyond those human reactions. She’d been human a lot longer than she’d been vampire, and in this time of terror, she reverted to instinct.
Distant screams filled the night, and she felt death creeping closer. But it wasn’t the sight of bodies strewn everywhere or the unseen menace peering from every shadowed alley that terrified her. It was her almost uncontrollable need to turn and race back the way she’d come.
No. She wouldn’t cut and run. Lia pulled up an image of Utah in her mind and kept going. There was something she had to see just ahead.
Beyond the horrors of the bodies and blood—she’d seen all that before—was the sheer strangeness of this city. It had nothing of 2012, nothing of Earth’s time—past or present—about it.
If only she could see the enemy. Something out there was killing and destroying, but at least on this street, there was only silence. And that all-pervading sense of doom.
Just when she thought she couldn’t go any farther, she saw him. Utah stood amid the carnage outside what must have been some kind of house. Hard to tell now because it was mostly gone.
She knew it was Utah even though his face wasn’t the same, human but subtly different. Lia would always recognize him, though. He could never hide from her. Around him lay about eight people. Two men were struggling to their feet. Rap and Tor?
Utah ignored everything as he knelt beside a woman lying on the blood-soaked street. Lia knew she was dead. Horror piled on horror as she realized the woman had been pregnant.
No. Lia looked away. She didn’t want to see his pain or put a name to the dead woman and her child. But then she forced herself to look back. She owed it to Utah to witness his loss, his grief, and then make it part of their shared memories.
The Utah of this time looked up at the two men who’d stumbled over to him. “They killed my wife, our child.” His voice was harsh with layers and layers of pain and fury.
Caught and buffeted by his agony, she didn’t take time to wonder how she could understand him. He wasn’t speaking any language she recognized.
One of the men turned away to walk among the other bodies, searching. “Parents. Grandparents. Sisters. Dead.” He spoke in a strangely emotionless monotone, as though he were talking about strangers. “All of our family. Gone.” Suddenly, shock released him and sobs brought him to his knees.
“I’ll kill them. I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll kill every fucking one of them.” Utah’s whispered promise faded away as he turned back to his dead wife. He smoothed the dark hair from her face before lowering his head and crying.
Lia scrubbed at her own tears as she slowly backed away. It was time to go. She couldn’t change his past or comfort him here. When she was far enough from the men, she turned to continue her journey to . . . She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that out there somewhere was the Utah she knew. Lia had to reach him.
Then she saw the man standing in the shadow of a burned-out building. He was watching Utah and his brothers. She couldn’t see his face, but the gleam of silver hair caught her attention. Fin? No, it couldn’t be.
She shouldn’t stop. Interacting with anyone could be dangerous. But she had to know. Calling herself a fool, she strode to where the man waited silently for her.
“Fin?” Lia didn’t go too close. She could run like crazy if she had to.
“No. But it’s a good name. Perhaps I’ll claim it.” His smile held secrets. “Someday.” He studied her from those strange silver eyes. “I’ve seen you in a vision.”
She didn’t know how much to tell this Fin, so she opted for questions. “Who are you? Why are you watching them? What happened here?”
He remained silent for so long she thought he wouldn’t answer.
“I’m a visitor, like you.” Then he glanced away from her, turning his attention back to the brothers. “A time cycle ended today. This is always a period of great change. Unfortunately for these people, it was a cat
astrophic change.” His tone grew thoughtful. “There are always those who believe they know what is best for others, and sometimes they are powerful enough to enforce what they believe. A group of ancient immortals decided that the old must be destroyed so the new might flourish.” He shrugged. “In a few hours, they will have obliterated all signs that a great civilization once existed here.”
“But you’re going to save them, right?” She looked back at Utah and his brothers.
Fin seemed to consider the possibility. “Perhaps I will. They didn’t deserve this. Some species have needed killing, but not this one. The carnage . . . bothers me.”
She got the feeling not much “bothered” him. “You seem a little disconnected from everything.”
“Oh, you have no idea how connected I am.” Then he turned away from her.
She understood a dismissal when she heard it. Besides, she had to find her Utah. Just thinking his name drove her onward. And only when she was blocks away did she realize Fin hadn’t answered all her questions.
Lia raced up and down darkened streets. The fight still raged on some of them, but most were deserted except for the stench of fire and death. Panic pressed her to run faster, to get to where Utah’s soul waited.
Soon she was out of the city and running into the total darkness again. She couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, could only feel. He was there. Just ahead.
Suddenly, she burst from the darkness. Utah stood bathed in a circle of light. He smiled and held his arms wide for her. With an inarticulate cry, she flung herself into them.
Was this his soul then, this light surrounded by darkness? Well, she intended to widen his little patch of soul-shine. She wrapped her arms around him and hung on tight. “I went, I saw, and it scared me witless, but I still want you, raptor.”
He felt the moment she claimed her share of his soul. It was a completion, a fulfillment he knew he’d always searched for, one he never thought to find. No matter how many lifetimes he’d lived or would live, there would never again be a joy like this.
It was over. Utah closed his eyes. He’d always thought his soul was raptor, but it had welcomed her in human form. Tonight, for her, he’d wanted it to be human.
When he opened his eyes, they were both standing in the clearing with Tor looking on. Lia’s expression mirrored conflicting emotions—love and joy along with a memory of horror. He pulled her closer.
Without warning, words came. Words he hadn’t thought but knew he had to say. “You touch my soul, Lia. You touch what I am, what I once was, and what I will be.”
“I accept what you share with me tonight—your love, your soul. I give my love and my soul in return.” Tears shone in her eyes.
He touched her lips with his. “Take what is mine, and let it join us forever.”
Silence hung between them until Lia finally spoke. “Those words were beautiful and fitting, but they weren’t my words. Where did they come from?”
Utah shook his head. “I don’t know, but Ty and Jenna said the same words. I was there.”
She smiled up at him. “It doesn’t matter. They were the right words.”
The night should end with those words. They’d triumphed over evil and found love. Leave it. Ask her tomorrow. But he couldn’t. He had to know now. “Something in my past scared you.” He took a deep breath. “Tell me.”
“Wait.”
Tor’s voice startled Utah. He’d almost forgotten his brother was there.
“Congratulations, and I love you guys, but I’m outta here.” Tor’s smile looked strained. “I choose not to know. This is my time. I don’t want a past to haunt me that I can’t even remember. Sorry. I’ll wait for you back in the other clearing.” He turned and walked away.
Maybe Tor was right. With Zero and the rest of his immortals still out there, Utah had enough complications in his life. He thought about it for all of two seconds. “Tell me.”
Lia met his gaze. “I think Zero and the others destroyed your civilization—the one before the dinosaurs—the same way they’re trying to destroy ours. I ended up in a really strange-looking city. It was burning and its people dying.” She seemed to be thinking about what to say next. “I saw you . . . and your family.” She hesitated.
His heart clenched. “Go on.”
“You were kneeling by a dead woman. Your wife. She was pregnant.”
Dead. Wife. Pregnant. The words pounded at him, hammer-slams to his gut, his heart. All he could do was nod.
“There were other bodies scattered around you. Two men—I guess they were Rap and Tor—were still alive. One of them looked at the bodies. The dead were your parents, your grandparents, and your sisters.”
He fought to slow his racing heart, to calm his breathing, to keep his emotions under control. “Did you see anyone else?”
“Fin was watching you.”
Utah wasn’t surprised.
“He said the immortals were responsible for what was happening to your world.”
History repeating itself. But this time they were taking it to the bastards. Fierce joy filled him. “Fin say anything else?”
Lia shrugged. “Just that he and I were visitors there. Guess that proves he wasn’t one of you guys. Oh, and he explained the whole end-of-time-period thing that we already knew.”
Who was Fin, and why didn’t he want to talk about his past? But those were thoughts for another day. Right now, only Lia mattered.
“You okay with all this?” She looked worried.
He wasn’t used to anyone worrying about him. He liked the feeling.
“Yeah, I think I am. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always wonder about the woman who was my wife, and I’ll mourn our unborn child. But that was a long time ago.” He hugged her tighter and buried his face in her windswept curls. At least he now understood his obsession with avenging Rap along with his flashes of memory. Subconsciously, he’d known. Family was precious. “I love you. In this time, in this place.”
She moved back, and he let her go. “You’ve lost too many family members. We’re going to do something about it.”
He could tell her that when she got a militant gleam in her eyes she was beautiful, but she wouldn’t appreciate it. She’d rather think that her determined expression cowed anyone who got in her way. So he’d keep his thoughts to himself. “What’s your plan?”
“Come with me.” She strode back to where the others were.
Only they weren’t there anymore. Tor sat on the ground with his back against a tree, waiting as he’d promised. Fin stood alone in the middle of the clearing. He was almost swaying on his feet. What the hell had he done to himself when he fought Zero?
Lia’s gasp pulled Utah’s attention away from his leader. He followed her gaze to what lay behind Fin. Then he looked back at Fin. “Why’d you kill Adam?”
“He needed killing. He intended to find Zero or one of the others and offer them the same deal he offered Seven.”
“How do you know that?” Lia shifted her gaze from the dead Adam to Fin.
“His thoughts on the subject were clear.”
“Do you stay out of anyone’s mind?” Lia seemed more outraged over Fin’s mental breaking-and-entering than about Adam’s death.
“Not if they have something I want.” Fin’s was the voice of cold reason. Emotion would never warm it.
“Won’t that make a martyr of him?” Utah’s beast thought Fin’s solution made perfect sense. The human part of Utah thought that Fin might’ve found a less drastic solution, like wiping out Adam’s memory of ever meeting Seven.
“Not if a better qualified leader takes charge. Jude comes to mind.” Fin’s gaze sharpened as he studied them. “You’ve gone through the ceremony.”
“Lia is my mate.” He met Fin’s stare, daring him to disapprove.
“And you’re going to give us a wedding gift, Fin.” Lia ignored Utah’s raised brows. “You’re going to restore Rap to his brothers.”
Fin didn’t look shocked, but Utah knew that Tor
and he did. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tor stand.
Utah rolled the idea around in his mind. Even a chance at getting Rap back excited him.
Lia spoke before Fin could think of a reason that he couldn’t make it happen. “You need a body. There’s one right behind you. It’s in great shape. I don’t know how you killed him, but I don’t see any obvious wounds.” She hurried on. “Adam had skills that Rap could use to help the Eleven. He could see the short-term future, and he had thousands of years’ worth of knowledge about vampires.”
“Tempting.” But then Fin shook his head. “I don’t have the power. Zero drained me. And even if he hadn’t done a job on me, I couldn’t afford to use the power it would take to put Rap in a new body. I have to stay at full strength in case I need to yank someone’s ass out of the fire.”
Sometimes Utah hated Fin’s cold logic. And yeah, he’d had to save the Eleven a few times.
Lia went into negotiating mode. “Think of the possibilities, Fin. Rap could control the vampires, and no one would know it wasn’t Adam except for us. You need the vampires.”
Fin didn’t immediately reject the idea.
“We can feed you power. We did it with Kione, we can do it now. I want my brother back.” Utah realized that this could really happen, and he fought for Rap like he fought for everything—aggressively and with a threat of violence. “Make it happen.”
Fin tensed. Purple flooded his narrowed eyes.
“Hey, I hear that you gave Ty and Al gifts to celebrate their weddings. Rap would be the ultimate gift. Think about it. Utah would owe you. Bet he’d never disobey an order again.”
Lia was trying to sound cheery and oblivious to the danger, but Utah felt her fear. He never wanted her to be afraid of or for him, so he forced back his need to challenge Fin, tried to think logically. He wouldn’t do Rap much good if he was dead.
“Never disobey an order again? When he’s dead, maybe.” Fin still sounded pissed, but some of his tension seemed to recede. He turned to glance at Adam’s body. “I don’t know. I don’t want to bring him halfway here and then strand his soul where I can’t find it.”