by Teresa Hill
"No, sir."
"Don't even try to make sense of it, because you never can," the man said. "I haven't. Not in all these years of trying."
God. Aidan closed his eyes. Even after all this time?
"I did all I could to get him home to you alive," he said finally.
"Of course, you did. But unless I'm mistaken, nobody asked you who got to live or die that day, did they?"
"No, sir."
"Well, there you go. They never asked me, either. It wasn't up to you. Wasn't up to me. Wasn't up to my boy. That stuff you said about him talking about us, that was true?"
"Yes, sir."
"Because even if it wasn't, I appreciate you saying it to my wife."
"No, he said it."
Mr. Porter nodded. "He was a handful when he was little. I was forty-two when he was born, didn't think we'd ever have another child, and then, there he was. Never stopped moving, wasn't afraid of anything, and I wasn't as fast as I used to be, had a hard time keeping up with him. Don't you and that pretty girl of yours wait as long as we did. Have your kids while you're young."
"We're not even married yet, sir."
"Well, what are you waiting for, son? It sounds like you're damned lucky to still be here. If you learned anything at all, you should know not to waste time."
"Yes, sir. Grace and I just met seven weeks ago."
"Well, I saw the way she looks at you. She'll say yes, when you ask her."
"I hope so, sir."
"You'll be okay. A man has a good woman by his side, he can get through the hardest things in the world. Now you go do your best to put this behind you. Consider that an order from an old army sergeant."
* * *
Grace drove when they left, pulling over five minutes later at a little park that was empty to let Aidan get out and breathe, take a walk if he wanted to. She could tell now when he needed that. He paced back and forth, never far away from her, and he looked just devastated.
So she went to him and held onto him while he shook, sucked in air and tried to calm down.
When he finally pulled away from her, he looked uncomfortable for a moment and then so sad.
"What? What is it now?"
"It's time. I have to go back, baby. To Virginia. I'm sorry—"
"Already?"
He nodded. "The last seven weeks have been the best. Best of my life."
"Mine, too," she said.
"It's just the beginning, Grace. Right?"
She nodded, tearing up at the thought of him being so far away.
"I have to see my surgeon who did all my orthopedic work. I need a new physical therapy evaluation. I have to see my CO about what the hell is going to happen to me."
"Okay. It's..." Oh, she didn't want him to go, was grasping for any reason he might need to stay. "What about the threat? Someone back there threatened you. Are you going to be safe there?"
"I will. Absolutely."
"How do you know that?"
"We officially ID'd the source of the threats yesterday."
"Oh. That's a good thing, right?" Because he didn't look like he thought it was. How could this not be good?
"It was a kid, Grace. A fourteen-year-old who studied enough al-Qaeda messages to make it sound like one of theirs, but it was sent from a computer in Virginia near the base. That's the part that really freaked a few people out for a while, until they figured out what was going on. It gave my CO an excuse to get me out of there, and then he took his time closing the investigation, so I could stay away. The kid's father was one of the men who died in the helicopter crash." Aidan shrugged and forced a smile. "He blamed me. Or he just didn't think it was right that I came back and his father didn't."
"Oh, God. Aidan—"
He shook his head. "I really thought it was nothing. And it was, in that way. The kid was never going to actually do anything, but—"
"I'm so sorry." She held him for another long moment, wiped her own tears away and kissed him softly, hating this so much for him.
"I know, baby."
And then she just had to ask. "What's going to happen to him? The kid?"
Aidan gave her a sad smile. " I knew you'd ask. I knew you'd care about him and need to know he'd be okay, and I love that about you, Grace. I love absolutely everything about you. I love you."
"I love you, too."
"I tried so hard not to say it yet. And you can have time. You can have all the time you want. I just... I'm going, and I had to say it."
"No, I'm glad you did. I wanted to, too, even though I knew I should wait."
"We'll take care of the kid. All of us. Everybody who worked with his father. We'll do whatever it takes to help him through this."
"Good."
"And I want you to know I can do this, Grace. I'm going to be okay."
"I know you are. I do. And I'll be right here, waiting for you." She dried her tears one more time. "Sorry. Today... That was so hard."
He nodded. "It was. I couldn't have done it without you. You were great, looked like you'd been one of those perfect, ultra-classy Navy officer's wives for years."
"Navy officers have perfect, classy wives?"
"The lucky ones do. And they're tough deep down inside, like you. They have to be."
"I can be tough. I can do this. Whatever it takes, I can do it."
"I know, and I hate to leave you right now, but I'll be back, and once the time comes, I'll do this right. I want to. But you're going to need something to do while I'm gone. How about you spend some time thinking about what we should name our kids? How many do you want to have?"
She closed her eyes, seeing little boys, tough as could be, who looked like him, seeing dreams come true. "More than one. Less than... five?"
"Okay. That'll work. I love you, baby. We'll be okay. We will."
"I know we will."
* * *
He had surgery over Christmas, to clean out some scar tissue and check for bone fragments that might be interfering with the blood supply to his pelvis. It was supposed to be a minor procedure, with tiny laparoscopic incisions, and he told her not to come. With their time together limited to weekends here and there, he wanted to see her when he was whole and healthy, not stuck in the hospital.
She hated being away from him for Christmas, but they planned to spend New Year's together. He spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in Chicago with his parents and his brother, and flew back to Virginia late Christmas Day for his surgery the next morning. Grace spent Christmas with her family and caught the first plane out the next morning, unable to stay away.
Walking into his room around noon, she found him lying in his hospital bed, his head and shoulders raised by the bed, eyes closed, an inviting, dark stubble on his jaw. He seemed to be humming some kind of silly jingle, looking happy as could be.
As her heels clicked on the hard floor, his eyes opened briefly, and he gave her a huge smile.
"Hello, beautiful," he said.
"Hi," she said, realizing something was not quite right about him. He seemed a little too happy.
"Isn't she something? Always looks so soft and pretty, and then she dresses up, and... God, I just want to have my hands all over her. Well, I always want to have my hands all over her, but especially when she's at her most lady-like. Gonna put a big sign on her that says, 'Mine,' to keep guys like you away from her, but I don't know if I can find a diamond big enough, you know?"
Grace walked far enough into the room to see a man she was sure was his brother sitting by his side, staring at her like she might be a hallucination on his part, despite the fact that Tommy was the one who hadn't had surgery that day.
"Just wait until you see her," Aidan said, slurring his words and laughing. "You're gonna have a look on your face just like that one you've got now, gonna be so pissed that I got her."
"You have always been the luckiest bastard alive when it came to women," Tommy Shaw told his brother, then stood up and walked over to Grace. "Don't pay any attention to him.
They just brought him back from surgery, and he's still high as a kite. In fact, tell me there's not a word of truth to anything he just said. Please, tell me."
"Tommy." Grace held out a hand to him, which he clasped in both of his, and then leaned in and kissed his cheek. "It's nice to see you again."
"Damn," Tommy said. "He told me he met someone, then claimed it wasn't you."
"It was." Aidan laughed. "Don't know why, cause I'm a fuckin' mess right now, but she's mine. Every bit of her. Those pretty blue eyes and that soft, soft mouth, that gorgeous hair. You know, that pretty pink of her lips? Her nipples are the exact same color—"
"Okay," Tommy said, loudly, trying to cover up anything else Aidan said.
Grace leaned over the bed and kissed him, happy enough to try to shut him up that way. He did stop talking, but laid a hand on the back of her knee, then tried to slide it beneath her skirt. She laughed and took his hand in both of hers instead. "You are feeling good, aren't you?"
"Not as good as you, baby. Doctor thinks he might have fixed my dick," he said cheerfully, then turned to his brother. "Damned dick doesn't work, not since I got hurt."
"Oh," Tommy said. "He is gonna be so mad when he remembers what he said. If he remembers."
Grace nodded, still hanging onto Aidan's hand to keep it from wandering farther. He was so funny, like she'd never seen him before. Silly and carefree and outrageous. She wondered if he'd been like this before the helicopter crash, if she'd ever see him this cheery again.
"I think I'll give you two some time alone. I haven't had lunch yet. Grace, can I bring you something from the cafeteria?" Tommy asked.
"No, thank you. I'm fine for now. Maybe when you come back, I'll grab something."
Tommy put a hand on her shoulder for a moment. "I don't know exactly what happened to him in Afghanistan, but it really messed him up. When the Navy first notified us that he'd been injured, no one was sure if he'd survive. Even when he started getting better physically, I wasn't sure we'd ever really get him back again."
"I know," Grace said, glancing down at Aidan, who seemed to have drifted off. "He told me everything."
"He did?"
She nodded.
Tommy still looked worried. "I'm just saying... He makes it sound like everything's settled between the two of you. He's talking about buying a ring. If you're not that committed, if you're not sure... I don't want to see him hurt, especially not now."
"I'm not going to hurt him, Tommy. I promise. And he's getting better. You can see that, can't you?"
"He's seemed more like himself, since he met you."
"One more thing. I don't need a big, expensive diamond. Maybe you could find a way to tell him that?"
"Hey, baby?" Aidan asked, awake again. "You come up with names? For our kids?"
"I'm working on it," Grace said.
Tommy's mouth fell open as he looked pointedly at Grace's mid-section.
"No, I'm not pregnant," Grace said.
"Told you, Tommy. Damned dick doesn't work."
* * *
Aidan came awake slowly, uncomfortable but not in any real pain, and when he opened his eyes, Grace was sitting on the side of his bed, smiling at him and holding his hand.
He frowned at her. "Are you for real? Because you're not supposed to be here."
"I know."
She leaned over and kissed him softly, giving him a little taste of her, that sweet scent that was Grace enveloping him, and she left a hand pressed flat against his chest after she sat up again.
"I decided if you're going to have surgery, I'm going to be with you. No arguments allowed."
"Baby, this was next to nothing. The incisions are tiny. I'll probably be out of here tomorrow."
"Then I'll take you back to your apartment and pamper you there," she insisted.
He covered the hand of hers pressed to his chest with one of his, wanting to keep it there. "Pampering, huh? And what exactly would that entail?"
"Anything you need."
She smiled, looking so damned beautiful he could still hardly believe she was here and his. "Oh, hey, my brother's floating around here somewhere—"
"I know. We had a little talk."
"You and Tommy? I wish I could have seen the look on his face—"
"Oh, you did. In fact, the three of us talked."
"We did?"
She nodded, looking downright gleeful.
"So... What did I say?"
"Let's just say, if he ever mentions knowing that my nipples are the exact same pink as my lips, it's not because I took my clothes off in front of him."
His mouth fell open. "No way!"
She nodded.
"Oh, baby. I am so sorry—"
And then she dissolved with laughter. "He's also wondering if I'm pregnant, because you asked if I'd come up with names for our children yet."
"Well, that's not so bad—"
"Although, you also told him—and these were your exact words—that your dick doesn't work—"
"Shit, no!"
"So, there's no telling what your brother might actually be thinking."
"Please tell me you're just messing with me."
She shook her head, but didn't look mad.
"What the hell did they give me, to make me so out of it?"
"I have no idea."
"Okay, I'm afraid to ask, but did I say anything else?"
"Those were the highlights. Although, I don't know what you might have said to Tommy before I got here."
He stared at her. "Baby, I am so sorry."
"It's okay. Really. You were obviously out of it."
"Still..."
"Forget it. Maybe Tommy will, too, and we can all just pretend this never happened."
Generous of her, he thought, grimacing at the idea of Tommy hearing about his dick. Which reminded Aidan. "What about the surgeon? Has he been in?"
She nodded. "You talked to him, too."
"I take it, from the look on your face, the news wasn't good?"
"He said there was a lot of scar tissue from the previous surgeries and a good bit of debris. Loose cartilage, bone fragments, but he did his best to clean everything up. I'm afraid it's wait and see time again. And we're not supposed to even try to have sex for six weeks."
He made a face. "Sex-sex? Or anything even close to sex?"
"I'm not sure. I decided to let you ask him, when you weren't so out of it." She tried to smile, but was obviously worried. "He asked about how well you're walking, about your pain levels. I told him what I could, and he said after getting back inside the joint, he's surprised you're walking as easily as you seem to be."
"Well, that's not exactly news to me. They told me I'd probably never walk without a limp, and you've seen me do that. It's not a problem."
She still looked worried. "I wasn't sure what to tell him about your pain levels. From walking. It's never seemed like it hurt, unless you've done too much, but I thought you might be hiding it, even from me—"
"No. I'm not. I swear."
"Okay. How do you feel now?"
"Not bad, considering." He tried to shift his weight in the bed, get his back into a more comfortable position, then winced when he moved a little too far.
"Okay. Let's wait a while on that." Grace pushed him back against the mattress, and ran her hands down his sides to his hips. "Back hurt?"
"Uncomfortable, nothing more," he said, as she came closer, and her hands started stroking up and down as much of his back as she could reach. He caught the scent of the shampoo she loved. That was so much more pleasant than hospital smells. "This is pampering?"
She kept trying to work the soreness out of his back. "Yes, this is pampering."
"I think I'm going to like this."
"You are." And then she turned even more serious on him. "I wish so much that I'd been here after the helicopter crash, that I'd been here all along."
"No, Grace. No. I wouldn't have wanted you to see me that way. I never want you to."
<
br /> "I could have helped take care of you. I hate thinking about you going through that alone."
"I was alone because I pushed everybody away, but that's over now. I'm not alone anymore."
"No, you're not," she promised.
"I am glad you came. I'm always glad to see you. I really didn't like us spending Christmas apart."
"Me, either. And that reminds me..." She eased away from him and reached down to the floor, coming up with something in a long, round cylinder. "I brought your present."
He took it in his hands. "I mailed yours to your house, because I didn't think you were going to be here."
"More panties?" she asked, grinning.
When he'd found out she'd been lingerie shopping, he'd wanted in on that, and started sending her panties on a regular basis. Mostly white, lacy, good-girl panties, but every now and then, black lace, for days when she was feeling a little bit bad.
"No, not more panties," he said, looking at the pretty curve of her hips outlined in that ladylike, but somehow very sexy dress she had on. "But that reminds me..."
"Yes, I am," she said.
Oh, she did that so well. Looking like such a lady, while telling him the sexiest things. It made him crazy. Right now, she meant she was wearing a pair of panties he'd sent her, which he also found outrageously sexy, thinking about seeing them on her and when he'd get to take them off her.
"Six weeks?" he asked, remembering what seemed an impossible amount of time.
"Ask the doctor. Now stop thinking about my panties and open your present."
"Yes, ma'am."
He flipped the tube up on its end and popped the cap. Out came a thick, rolled up piece of paper, and when he opened it, he found a gorgeous watercolor of the lake. Their lake, with tiny figures of a man, a woman and a dog sitting on the end of the dock—him and Grace and Tink—surrounded by the water and all the beautiful colors of the fall.
It was the place and time they fell in love, captured forever for him by her.
"Baby, it's beautiful. So beautiful." He felt emotions roll through him about how damned lucky he felt, how his life had changed so much and so quickly, how much he loved her, all he wanted for their lives together, all the possibilities.
"I know you said you wouldn't need anything to remember it by—"