“Someone could have cut my throat in the night and taken my place.”
“I believe I might have noticed that.”
He grinned briefly, then kissed her. That led to another, deeper kiss. Cormac told himself that the kisses meant nothing—they were merely idle pleasures, easily stolen and just as easily forgotten. It was clear that Elspeth felt the same.
It did not explain how she made him feel, however. His blood was pounding in his veins. He wanted to crawl inside her and stay there. Never had one kiss stirred his desire so swiftly or so fiercely. Here was danger, he thought, but he could not find the will to pull free. He needed her and he could not make himself believe it was because of a lengthy celibacy.
Elspeth clung to him, tasting his growing desire and letting herself be swept away by it. She tilted her head back at the first touch of his lips on her throat. A small part of her was afraid of the strength of the passions flowing between them, of the ferocity of them, but she ruthlessly quelled the fear. This was what she wanted, what she needed, what her heart had longed for before she was even old enough to understand.
When she felt his warm, lightly callused palm cover her breast, she realized he had managed to half undress her and she had not even noticed. No man had ever touched her there and she felt it was both strange and beautiful. He rubbed his thumb over her nipple and the feeling that ripped through her was so sudden and so powerful she flinched, pulling away slightly. One look at his face told her that she had managed to break the spell they were under and she inwardly cursed.
Cormac yanked himself away from her and staggered to his feet. His groin pulsed with eagerness to continue and his hands shook slightly. He stared at tiny Elspeth in a mixture of wonder and dismay as she calmly fixed her bodice.
“Jesu,” he groaned. “What did ye do to me?”
“Me?” Elspeth got up and started to roll up her blankets. “I believe I was sound asleep when all this began.”
She was not going to let him get away with blaming her for the madness that had seized them, nor with making any other excuses. He wanted her. Denying it as he might, excusing it as he so obviously wanted to, or trying to ignore it would not work. She would not let it.
“Weel, nay completely asleep.” He ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to clear his head. “Ye are a weelborn lass, a maid, and a woman I owe a great debt to. ’Twas verra wrong of me to try to take advantage of our situation.”
“Ye fret too much. Did ye hear me screaming a protest?”
“Ye should have.”
Elspeth shrugged and moved to start a fire. “Mayhap. And I may be a maid, and weelborn, but I am no child. I am nearly twenty, far past marrying age. I believe I am old enough to worry about my own chastity.”
“Ye didnae seem to be worrying verra hard.”
“How verra tactless of ye to point that out.”
“I dinnae understand ye.” He frowned and rubbed his hand over his chin. “And what do ye mean ye may be a maid?”
So like a man to hear that and little else, she thought crossly. “’Twas just an ill choice of words. Why are ye so upset?”
Cormac did not really know, but he quickly found a suitable answer for her. “Because I am nay free to dally.”
“Dally, is it?” Elspeth murmured, briefly contemplating the pleasure of hurling the small iron pot she held at his head. “And just how are ye not free? Ye said ye werenae betrothed and werenae married. Thus ye are free.”
“True, I may be neither wed nor betrothed, but I have exchanged vows with a woman. We did so when I was but a lad and she a year younger. Those bonds still hold true.”
“How touching and honorable.”
Elspeth decided it was time to get away from him before she lost her temper. She handed him the little pot, proud of herself for not cracking him over the head with it, and marched off into the shelter of the surrounding trees. A little time to calm herself was what she needed. She could still feel his kisses, his touch, and she needed to shake free of the emotions he had stirred up inside of her. The last vestiges of the fierce passion they had so briefly shared had to be conquered before she could hear him talk of vows spoken or make any more excuses.
After seeing to her personal needs, then washing up in the icy water of the small brook wending its way through the trees, Elspeth felt better. Her sense of purpose was restored. It had just been disappointing to discover that Cormac was not going to be won over easily. He was going to be a hard nut to crack, especially since he had made some sort of vow to the wretched Isabel and was too honorable a man to cast it aside too quickly. Well, she would make a vow, too: She was going to do everything in her power to make him forswear his.
Cormac shivered as the icy water he splashed on his face trickled down inside his shirt. It was not as good as a cold bath, but it had taken some of the edge off his aching need. Still a little dazed, he moved to the fire to make some porridge to break their fast. The mundane chore was not enough to stop him from thinking, however.
He did not understand what had just happened. Although he had not been completely faithful to Isabel, his dalliances had been few and far between. There was the occasional temptation he had given into, the women he had bedded during the bursts of jealousy he suffered each time Isabel had married and the few times his need had grown far too great to ignore. In none of those brief interludes, however, had he ever lost control or all sense of guilt. He had not even thought of Isabel until Elspeth had suddenly tensed beneath his touch and brought him back to his senses. None of the other women had been the virginal daughter of a laird, either.
It was pure madness, he decided. Ellpeth’s voice was enough to make him rock hard. He could still taste the sweetness of her lips and could not stop himself from wondering if the rest of her tasted as sweet. His palm still tingled from the feel of her full, silken breast, the tip hard and taunting. He could easily, willingly, drown himself in the taste and feel of her, and that deeply troubled him.
A too-long celibacy had to be the cause. Cormac did not want to even consider anything else. The answer was simple. They would pause in the next village to get a few more supplies, and he would find that willing tavern maid, take her to bed, and rut this insanity out of his blood. Then he and Elspeth could continue their journey and begin acting like sensible people.
There was only one catch in his plan. How did he slip away for this much needed rutting without Elspeth guessing what he was doing? Then he saw her walking back from the wood. The mere sight of her lithe shape made him ache. Cormac decided he owed her no explanations. His only concern should be getting her back, safely, into the hands of her family. If she found out what he was doing in the village, it was just too bad.
“Ye could at least feign a pleasant humor,” Elspeth said as she sat by the fire and helped herself to some bread and cheese while she waited for the porridge to finish cooking.
“I dinnae usually begin my mornings by trying to ravish virginal maids I owe a great debt to,” he drawled. “I beg your pardon if I seem a little disturbed by my own behavior.”
“Cormac, I have seven brothers and more male cousins than any sensible person would want. Do ye really think ye could ravish me without spilling at least a little of your own blood?”
“I am a great deal bigger and stronger than ye are.”
“As are most men, which is why I was taught every weak point a mon has. I wasnae taught just how to hurt a mon, either, but how to slip free of nearly any hold ye can think of and to use specific pains to ease those holds. If the men who had attacked Sorcha and me hadnae been so numerous and hadnae grabbed Sorcha thus distracting me, I may have e’en slipped free of that horror. Sadly, no one had e’er taught Sorcha what they taught me. She ne’er asked and she was e’er more a lady than I was.”
“Ye didnae do anything to me.”
“Nay, I didnae, did I?” she said in a soft calm voice, holding his gaze.
Elspeth saw exactly when he understood the meaning behind
her words. His expression was an intriguing mix of desire, shock, and alarm. Then he looked angry. That hint of desire and alarm told her clearly that he desired her, but did not want to. The shock was easy to understand, for she doubted he had had many wellborn virgins declare their desire for him so bluntly. It was the anger she was not sure of. Did her boldness annoy him or was he angry because she had just made it clear that she would do nothing to help him resist temptation?
“Ye are mad.”
“I hadnae realized that honesty had sunk so low in people’s esteem that it was now considered part of insanity,” she murmured.
“Eat.”
She ate, deciding it did no good to goad him. Anger might well give him the strength he sought. Elspeth would have liked to say more, but she had made herself clear about what she wanted. That would have to be enough for now.
They finished their meager meal in silence. Together they broke camp. When silence continued to reign after she swung herself up behind Cormac on his horse, she decided he was obviously going to sulk. It seemed she was going to be punished in a small way for being so ill mannered as to stir his desire. Cormac was definitely going to be a hard nut to crack.
“Just how stupid does the mon think I am?” Elspeth muttered as she glared at the front of the inn and tavern Cormac had disappeared into.
As they had purchased some supplies, Cormac had stolen a moment to speak privately with one of the merchants. He had tugged the rotund man far enough away from her to destroy all chance that she might overhear what they said. All she caught were the words tavern, Annie, and skilled lass. Those words added to the quick, amused, yet knowing looks of the merchant told Elspeth more than she really wanted to know. Cormac was looking for a whore.
It hurt, and that enraged her. The very thought of Cormac kissing and touching another woman twisted her innards with jealousy and the sharp craving to do violence. There she stood, ready, willing, and able—or at least soon to be taught how to be able if Cormac would just give her a chance. She was also afraid that a hearty tussle beneath the sheets with this Annie could actually succeed in giving Cormac the strength to ignore her.
For a moment she considered marching into the tavern and letting Cormac know just how furious she was. Then she heard the sounds coming out of the tavern. It was obviously filled with men, many of them already deep into their drinking if the sounds of loud revelry were any indication. If she went in there now, she could easily find herself neck deep in trouble before she even found Cormac.
Then she recalled that there had to be a kitchen door. She could slip inside unseen and then find Cormac. Although she suspected it would feel as if her heart was being cut from her chest with a dull knife if she caught him with a woman, she was not going to stand there and just wait until he strolled out adjusting his clothes. Maybe if she thoroughly embarrassed him or shamed him, he would give up the notion that he could fight the passion that flared between them by spending himself in another woman. It chilled her to think she might have to suffer this at every tavern or inn between here and the king’s court.
Preparing herself for the distasteful deed was useless, so Elspeth just took a deep breath and started around the side of the building toward the back. She was almost there when she collided with a buxom young woman hurrying from the privy in the back of the yard toward the same door. Elspeth took one look at her and inwardly cursed. If she could not divert the woman, Cormac certainly would not be turning her down.
“Are ye Annie?” she asked, shifting to block the woman’s way through the door.
“Aye. Do I ken ye?” Annie’s blue eyes narrowed and she impatiently pushed a lock of golden hair off her pretty face. “I really cannae stay here and talk. Old George told me there is a fine looking young gentlemon asking for me.”
“I ken it, and if ye answer that call, I can make it so that no one will wish your company again.”
Elspeth felt a twinge of guilt when her cold, hard threat made the woman turn pale, her eyes widening so much that it had to be painful. It was not Annie who deserved the brunt of Elspeth’s anger and hurt. Since she and Cormac had exchanged no vows, she supposed he did not, either. On the other hand, it was insulting that he would run from what she offered and go to another. Elspeth supposed she could excuse her anger that way if pressed.
“Are ye his wife?” Annie surreptitiously looked around, obviously seeking a clear route of escape.
“I intend to be. He is coming to ye because he wants me and feels ’twould be dishonorable to bed a virgin.”
Annie winced, then smiled sadly. “I have had me a few of those. They speak sweetly to me, then call out for the one they truly want when their lust grows hot enough to close their eyes.”
“That is terrible.” Elspeth shook her head. “Men can be such incredible swine. My cousin Payton—”
“Payton? Nay Sir Payton Murray, son of Sir Nigel and Lady Gisele?”
“Ye ken my cousin?” Payton might just be getting a little too free with his favors, Elspeth mused.
“Oh, he has ne’er been with me.” Annie’s sigh was heavy with regret; then she brightened. “But ye can tell me a few things about that gentle, fair knight others wouldnae ken, cannae ye?”
“Weel aye, mayhaps,” Elspeth mumbled, struggling to adjust to Payton being spoken of in such reverent terms.
“Wait. I will get us each an ale. We can sit on the bench o’er there.”
Elspeth was still too surprised over the woman’s reaction to Payton’s name to stop her from darting away and going inside. She cursed when she realized it could all be a ploy. Just as she decided Annie had tricked her, the woman reappeared with a tray of bread and cheese and two tankards of ale. Elspeth just shook her head and followed Annie over to the bench. She had wanted the tryst Cormac sought to be stopped. It was churlish to fret over how that had been accomplished.
“I had a wee peek at your mon,” Annie said as she sat down. “I can see why ye are so possessive.”
After taking a sip of ale, Elspeth admitted, “I have to be. He is fighting me hard and I only have a fortnight or so to win him over. He believes himself in love with and bound to another woman. We are traveling to her now.”
“And yet he still seeks me out?”
“I ken it doesnae sound verra good of him, but the lady Isabel doesnae deserve faithfulness and I havenae earned the right to ask for it yet.”
“Lady Isabel Douglas?” Annie muttered a curse when Elspeth nodded. “When one sees a woman like that, one wonders how anyone can think they have the right to call me a whore.”
“True. Wheesht, do ye ken everyone in Scotland?” Elspeth asked and laughed softly. “I am Elspeth Murray of Donncoill.”
“Ah, the daughter of the healer. I hear ye are becoming near as weel kenned for your skills as she is.”
“Thank ye. Forgive me, but how do ye ken so much?”
“The tavern and the inn lie on a verra busy road to the king’s court when he holds it. I hear a great deal, especially since many think naught of speaking freely in front of a tavern slut. ’Tis truth that many pay no heed, but I do. Ye ne’er can tell when such information could turn in my favor. I have earned a coin or two for it, and ’tis a fact, I would rather fatten my purse that way for all I have the freedom to choose what mon I play the whore for.”
“I was thinking that ye have a verra understanding master, verra lenient.”
“Oh, he isnae my master. Old George is my cousin. I own a wee piece of all this, ye ken. Nay enough to keep my purse full, but it means I dinnae have to grovel for a ha’penny every day.” She gave Elspeth a decidedly wicked wink. “I like a good tussle now and then. Soon decided I may as weel get a coin or two whilst I was enjoying myself. Now are ye close to that good knight, Sir Payton? I heard a dark rumor that he may be dead.”
Elspeth took a large drink of ale to still the unease she felt hearing that the rumor of Payton’s death was already spreading. “I dinnae think he is, although I myself saw him felled
with an arrow in his back.”
“Oh, that such a bonny lad should be cut down by a cowardly attack from behind.”
After nodding a hearty agreement, Elspeth frowned. “Just how is it that my cousin is so weel kenned and spoken of?”
“M’lady, he is a bonny, bonny young mon. He but walks by and he rips a sigh of longing from the heart of every woman who sees him, young or old. And there is a sweetness, a kindness, in him. True, he rarely beds down with lasses such as I, but he doesnae scorn us, either. ’Tis already weel kenned that, if ye are playing the whore just to feed your bairns, Sir Payton has an open, generous hand.” Annie gave a sot snort of disgust as she chewed on a piece of bread. “Jane, a dirty slut who works at an inn in the next village, borrows her sister’s bairns and puts herself in Sir Payton’s way as he travels to and from court.”
“I will be certain to tell him.” She studied Annie closely and saw the sharp wit behind the woman’s eyes. “I shall also tell my kinsmen about your ability to gather information. Such things can be verra useful and weel worth a coin or two.”
“Can ye tell me a thing or two about Sir Payton now? I should love to have a tale or two about him that no one else kens.” Annie winced and scratched at her arm.
“What ails ye?” Elspeth asked even as she took Annie’s hand in hers and pushed up the sleeve of her bodice. “An ugly rash. Is it everywhere on your body?”
“Just on my arms and a wee bit on my chest. It comes and goes. ’Tis naught.”
Elspeth studied it closely even as she set her bag on the table. “Ye didnae catch it from anyone?”
“Nay. As I said, I choose my men most carefully. And this used to trouble me when I was a child, too, ere I ever kenned a mon.”
“Ah.” Elspeth took out a salve. “’Tis something ye are eating or touching that your body doesnae like. Watch what ye eat, when the rash appears, and ye will soon discover what food is doing this to ye. If nay a food, something ye dinnae use each day. Just keep an eye on when it comes and goes and all that happens at that time or, rather, a wee bit before. Now I will tell ye a tale or two about Payton as I mix ye a salve for those spots.” With a smile, Elspeth began to relate a few humorous stories concerning Payton.
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