“I’ll follow you to your place,” he said as they walked to her car. “You can pack up whatever you need to move into my house.”
“Derek, maybe it would be better if I just stay at home until Abby and Colette get back. You had the security system installed, so I should be safe.”
“And how would that look to everyone? Belinda, we agreed that neither of us is eager for anyone to know the circumstances of our marriage. You don’t want anyone to know you married me for money, and I’m not particularly eager for people to know I married you to gain custody.”
Belinda flushed, and he knew it was because it all sounded so cold-blooded when boiled down to those simple facts. “You make me sound like a prostitute,” she replied.
“We both know that’s not true,” he chided. “Besides, men don’t usually marry prostitutes. They have sex with them, and I already promised you that sex won’t be an issue in our relationship.”
“You’re right.” She twisted the diamond ring he’d placed on her finger as if finding the feel of it uncomfortable. She leaned against her car door, studying him thoughtfully. “Odd how things work out, isn’t it?”
He knew exactly what she was talking about, knew she was thinking the same things he had about the irony of Fate. “After the fire…why didn’t you contact me?” The question had been on his mind for three long years.
She blinked in surprise. “How could I? I didn’t know where you were. I called all the hospitals in Cheyenne, but nobody would tell me anything.”
“Didn’t my mother call you? Tell you where we were?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t hear from your mother. I didn’t hear from anyone until the day I got the letter from you.”
Derek frowned, trying to dig through the distance of the past for the memories of those days and nights in the hospital. He remembered begging his mother to contact Belinda, to let her know where he was. He also remembered her noncommittal replies and knew in his heart what had happened.
She’d never called Belinda. His mother had probably believed she was protecting him, sheltering him from Belinda’s revulsion. Dammit, how could his mother make that kind of decision for him? Still, it was difficult to maintain anger at her for trying to shield him from any more hurt.
The result was that Derek had believed Belinda hadn’t cared enough to call him or see him. She’d only been toying with him, spending a summer with the boy next door. It had been that belief that had made him write the letter telling her she’d been nothing but a passing fancy to him.
“Why? What difference does it make now, after all this time?” she asked curiously.
Derek shrugged. “None. None whatsoever.” He opened her car door to let her get in. “I’ll be right behind you,” he said.
Minutes later as he followed her car down the highway that led out of the city of Cheyenne and toward the rural area where they lived, Derek found himself replaying the conversation again in his mind.
So the reason Belinda hadn’t contacted him after the fire was that she hadn’t known where he was. It hadn’t been because she didn’t care.
Still, he’d answered her question truthfully. It no longer mattered. At that time, in the early days of his hospitalization when he’d been desperate to hear from her, see her face, he hadn’t realized the extent of his injuries.
Derek faced the result of the fire daily, when he dressed or bathed. And even after all the time he’d had to adjust to the appearance of the scars, there were still days when looking at them made him ill.
Nothing could change the past, and he could never allow himself to love Belinda again. If he did…if he loved her enough to trust her, to reveal the extent of his injuries to her, he was afraid he’d see one of two things in her eyes: abhorrence or pity. If that happened, he’d grow to hate her.
No, he’d have to be content in living with the memories of loving Belinda and perhaps in indulging himself in fantasies of what might have been. He’d help save her home, hopefully they’d discover who burned him out and who was after her. He’d gain custody of his brother’s children, then he’d let her go.
It was the right thing to do. The sane thing to do. What he didn’t understand was why the thought of it. caused an ache to pierce through his heart.
Chapter Ten
“I still can’t believe this!” Abby hugged Belinda for the third time in as many minutes. As Abby released her, Belinda was immediately smothered in a hug from Colette.
Derek and Belinda had been at the house packing her things when Belinda’s family had returned home from their long trip. Any exhaustion they might have felt from their extended time in the car seemed to disappear the moment Belinda told them about the marriage.
As her sisters squealed and hugged her, her brothers-in-law clapped Derek on the back and welcomed him into the family.
“We’ve got to plan a party to celebrate,” Abby said. “We’ll have a get-together here next Saturday night and invite all our friends.”
“Oh, please, don’t do that. It’s too much trouble,” Belinda protested. The last thing she wanted was a party to celebrate a sham of a marriage.
“It won’t be trouble, it will be fun,” Abby replied. “And I won’t take no for an answer.”
“Why didn’t you wait to have the ceremony when we got home?” Colette asked. “I can’t believe you guys didn’t wait so we could all be at the wedding.”
Derek placed an arm around Belinda’s shoulder and pulled her close. “I’m afraid that’s my fault. We just got a crazy impulse and I talked Belinda into surprising you.” He gazed at Belinda, his eyes filled with warmth. “I wasn’t going to wait another minute to make her mine.”
Belinda’s breath caught in her throat. Although she knew he was merely pretending, she was shocked to realize that for just a moment, she wanted the emotion emanating from his eyes to be real.
“Aunt Belinda, I got a shell on the beach and it whispers to me,” Cody exclaimed.
Belinda stepped away from Derek’s arm, grateful for Cody’s interruption. She picked up the six-yearold, who wrapped his legs around her like a monkey. “A whispering seashell, that sounds pretty awesome.”
“It is. I wanted to bring home a crab, but Mom said no way.” He wiggled out of Belinda’s arms and scrambled back to the car, where he reached in and withdrew the prized conch shell. “I want to show this to Bulldog.”
“I think I saw him heading for the barn right before you all pulled up,” Derek said.
Cody looked at his mother, who nodded her approval, then he tore off toward the barn, yelling Bulldog’s name with every step.
“At least the trip was a definite success for one member of the family,” Luke said as he took two suitcases out of the car trunk. He looked tired, disheartened, and Belinda knew how difficult it had been for both her brothers-in-law to want to help with the financial burden of the ranch but neither knew what else to do.
“Here, let me help you with one of those,” Derek said as he took one of the suitcases from Luke.
“Yes, let’s get these things inside, then I want to hear all the details of your whirlwind courtship,” Abby exclaimed.
Hank carried Brook while Derek and Luke grabbed the suitcases. Within minutes they were all in the kitchen, everyone talking at once as they tried to catch each other up on the trip, the meetings they’d had, and the wedding that morning.
Belinda told them about the break-in, although she gave them the official version of a burglary interrupted. She also explained about the new security system Derek had had installed.
Abby asked if she’d found the missing adoption papers while they had been gone. Belinda shook her head. “But we’ve got more news,” she said. “Derek wants to invest in the ranch.”
They all turned and looked at Derek, who nodded and smiled. “It’s true. I’ve got some money put away and have been looking for a good investment. I can’t think of anything better than investing in my new family.”
Abby’s eyes
welled up with tears. “Oh, Derek, I don’t know what to say. It’s like an answer to a prayer. I swear you won’t be sorry. All we need is some capital to work with, buy grain for the fields that have lain fallow for so long. More cattle—we aren’t utilizing half the pasture we’ve got because right now our herd is so small. You won’t regret it, Derek…I swear.”
“Abby.” Luke took his wife’s hand and smiled gently. “Just say thank you for now.”
She laughed and cried at the same time, and as Belinda saw her sister’s joy, she knew she’d done the right thing in agreeing to Derek’s proposal.
“I’ll have my lawyer draw up some papers and get
them to you along with a check in the next couple of days,” Derek said. “And now, I’m going to finish loading my bride’s things so she can get settled at my place.”
“I’ll help you,” Hank said as he handed Brook to Colette. “She’s wet.”
Colette laughed. “Of course. You always give her back to me when she’s wet.” She stood with the baby in her arms. “I’m going to go change a diaper, I’ll be right back.”
Luke joined Derek and Hank as they left, leaving Abby and Belinda alone in the kitchen. “Belinda.” Abby reached across the table and took Belinda’s hand in hers. “Tell me you didn’t do anything foolish. Tell me you married Derek because you’re desperately in love with him.”
Belinda knew if Abby knew the truth, she’d refuse to take a cent from Derek. She summoned every ounce of acting skill she possessed. “Of course I’m in love with Derek. I think I’ve always loved him. Maybe some would say that our getting married this morning was rather foolish, but it made sense to us. We wanted to be together and we didn’t want to wait to have a traditional wedding.”
“So Derek investing didn’t have anything to do with your decision?” Abby’s blue eyes stared into Belinda’s intently.
Belinda forced a light laugh. “I didn’t even knowhe was going to offer until after the wedding ceremony. He said it was my wedding present.”
The worry fell away from Abby’s gaze and she breathed a deep sigh of relief. “I’m so happy for you. I know how crazy you were about Derek years ago. It seems so right, so romantic that you found each other again.” She squeezed Belinda’s hand.
“I’ve got another surprise. The family is going to expand by two very soon.”
“Surely you aren’t telling me you’re already pregnant with twins?”
Belinda laughed. “No, nothing like that. Derek and I are going to adopt his brother’s children. A fiveyear-old little girl and a four-year-old boy.”
“That’s wonderful. A ready-made family.” Abby smiled. “Cody will be thrilled. Two new cousins and one of them a boy.”
Colette came back in, Brook cooing happily in her arms. “So, sis, you and Derek have big plans for your wedding night tonight?” she asked. “Got a honeymoon planned?”
Belinda shook her head. “No honeymoon.”
“But I’ve got a special night planned for my bride,” Derek said from the doorway. “I’ve got everything loaded. Are you ready to go?”
Belinda wanted to say no, wanted to remain here in the safety of the kitchen. But she knew she couldn’t do that. Legally, she was now Derek’s wife. Intellectually, she knew it was important to keep up the facade. Emotionally, irrationally, she was suddenly scared as hell.
Swallowing hard against her fear, she kissed her sisters, then walked with Derek outside. Her car was loaded with clothes, toiletries, favorite books and shoes, everything she thought she’d need to begin her new life as Derek’s wife for a year.
She followed Derek’s car the short distance to his house and together they unloaded the items from her car and put them on the sofa in the living room.
“While you get your things put away and settle in, I’ve got to go back to town and fill out some paperwork for the judge in charge of the kids’ case,” he said. “I’ll lock you in, so you should be fine, and I’ll be back in an hour or so.”
Belinda was grateful when he left. She needed some time to herself, time to get her thoughts and emotions under control. Derek playing the role of loving husband had unsettled her, made her realize just how difficult the next year might be.
As she carried her clothes up to the guest bedroom where she’d slept on the night of the break-in, she realized when her emotions had flown out of kilter. It had been when he’d asked her why she hadn’t contacted him after the fire.
He’d implied that his mother was supposed to have called her, let her know where they were. But she’d never gotten a call.
She’d slept through the fire, unaware of the reallife drama playing out nearby. When she’d awakened the next morning, Derek’s home was burned to the ground and she’d been frantic to find out where he was…if he was all right. Nobody seemed to know what had happened to him. It was only later, when she’d gotten his letter, that she realized he was with his family in California.
She went downstairs and grabbed another armload, of things to take to the guest room, her mind still whirling. Had he written that horrible letter to her because he’d believed she’d known where he was and simply hadn’t cared?
Back and forth, she went from the living room to the upstairs bedroom. Back and forth her mind flew from past to present, from memories to reality.
Try as she might, she could make no sense of the past. And in any case, as Derek had said, it no longer mattered. History was written, and there was no way to go back and change it. She’d loved him once, but that love was now tainted by a little white cross on a cemetery plot.
She was momentarily married to him, but she’d never allow herself to love him again. Her pain was too deep, her sorrow too wide for any love he had to offer to breach it.
She’d uphold her end of this crazy bargain. She’d play the role of loving wife to the public, and guard her heart against any intrusion in private.
Satisfied, she shoved all thoughts aside and focused on the simple task of arranging her clothes in the massive closet. She didn’t realize how long she’d been working until she heard the distant sound of the front door creaking open.
“Derek? Is that you?” she called down the stairs.
“Yeah. You settling in all right? Finding everything you need?”
“I’m fine. Almost done. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” She turned back to the closet and finished arranging.
“What are you doing in here?”
She whirled around at the sound of his voice. He stood in the doorway of the guest room. “What do you mean? This is where I stayed before. 1 just assumed…” Her voice trailed off as she noted his clenched jaw. “Surely you don’t intend for me to share your bedroom?”
“Husbands and wives generally share the same room. We’re adults, Belinda, and the bed in my room is a king-size one. We should be able to sleep together without too much discomfort. Besides, I don’t want to give the kids a warped perception of marriage by sleeping in separate rooms.”
“Yes, but I don’t think…”
“You can stay in here for now, but when the children arrive, I expect you to move into the master bedroom.” Without waiting for her reply, he turned and disappeared down the hallway.
“I WISH Abby and Colette hadn’t pursued this party idea,” Belinda said as she and Derek got into his car to drive to the Connor ranch.
“You know this is something they wanted to do,” he observed.
“Yes, but it’s so awkward. What if somebody brings us a wedding gift?” Belinda nervously toyed with the belt on her hunter green coat.
“You graciously thank them,” Derek answered. He flipped the fan on the heater, sending warm air down to their feet. “Belinda, I’m sure over the next year we’ll be faced with lots of social occasions. Surely you can summon up the strength to behave like a loving newlywed when in public.”
“Don’t worry, by the time this is all over you’ll want to buy me my own Academy Award.”
Derek laughed, a pleasant r
umble that filled the interior of the car with warmth as effectively as the heater.
Belinda leaned her head back and stared out into the night. Darkness fell earlier and earlier with winter’s swift approach.
Winter had already arrived at the Walker house, at least as far as the temperature between husband and wife. They’d spent the past week in polite coolness, careful not to invade each other’s private space. The only real time they spent together was each evening after supper when they sat at the kitchen table and went over and over their list of suspects.
Still, Belinda went to bed each night with his scent eddying in her head and her dreams had changed from frightening nightmares to tormenting memories from their past.
“Good grief, Abby and Colette must have invited half of all Cheyenne,” Belinda said as they approached the ranch and she saw all the cars parked in the front yard.
Derek found an empty spot and pulled in. Together they got out of the car and walked toward the porch. Before they reached the front door, Derek took her hand and pulled her close against him. “I didn’t tell you before we left, but you look beautiful tonight.” Without warning, he kissed her. Deeply. Hungrily. His hands moved up her back, tangling in her hair as he took possession of her mouth.
Belinda was vaguely aware of the opening of the front door. “1 thought I heard a car,” Luke said, amusement evident in his tone. “It’s the guests of honor,” he announced.
“Okay you two lovebirds, break it up,” Abby exclaimed.
Derek released her, a sheepish grin on his face. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”
As Luke and Abby ushered them inside, Belinda felt the flush that heated her cheeks, was intensely aware of a slight swelling to her lips that gave her a just-kissed appearance.
Belinda and Derek were immediately overwhelmed by congratulatory cheers and hugs from friends and neighbors. Glasses of champagne were passed around and toast after toast was made to the newlyweds.
There were three things Wyoming ranchers loved: their land, their livestock and a party. Once the official toasts had been made, somebody cranked up the stereo and the purpose of the party changed from congratulating Belinda and Derek to just having fun.
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