“It was, wasn’t it.” Belinda moved the basket aside and joined him on the blanket, stretching out on her side to face him.
He looked more relaxed, more at ease than she’d ever seen him. He smelled of sunshine and fresh air and she longed to move closer, to touch the lines on his face, taste his lips with hers.
Her love for him rose up inside her, tingled in every fiber of her being, filled her with a restless energy she didn’t know how to contain.
How many days had they spent on a blanket when they were younger? How many nights? A blanket had been their bedroom in that summer of heat they’d shared.
“Are there any grapes left?” he asked, breaking into her memories.
Belinda nodded, straightened and reached for the basket, relieved for any activity. She withdrew the bag of plump purple grapes, then resumed her position, only this time closer to him.
She pulled one of the grapes out of the bag and held it to his lips, acutely conscious of her breast brushing his side, her leg pressed against his.
His eyes narrowed as his mouth plucked the grape from her fingers. She readied another piece of the fruit and held it out to him. “What are you doing, Belinda?” he asked softly.
She felt a blush steal over her face. “What do you mean? I’m just feeding my husband some fruit.”
He took the grape from her and chewed thoughtfully, his gaze still warming her face. “No. You’re playing with fire and I think you know it.”
Belinda swallowed, her mouth dry. “Maybe I want to get burned,” she replied breathlessly.
“Uncle Derek, Toby has to go to the bathroom, and so do I,” Tasha called.
Derek jumped up from the blanket and Belinda expelled a tremulous sigh. “Okay, we’ll call it a day and head inside.”
“We have to potty bad,” the little girl exclaimed, hopping on one leg, then the other.
Belinda stood. “You go ahead and take them. I’ll gather up this stuff and follow right behind.”
Derek hesitated only a moment, then he and the two kids took off hurriedly in the direction of the house.
As they disappeared from sight, Belinda expelled another deep sigh. It was probably a good thing Tasha had interrupted them. For a moment Derek’s eyes had blazed with a heat that threatened to consume her. He’d gotten her message, knew she wanted him. Now all she had to do was wait for him to figure out that she wanted him forever.
She bent and grabbed the edges of the blanket. Shaking off the leaves and grass, she thought back over her conversation with Janice.
It had been such a relief to tell somebody not only about the true circumstances of her marriage to Derek, but also about the tragedy of her baby’s birth. That particular event had festered inside her for too long, and sharing it with Janice had felt good. She folded the blanket, then picked up the basket.
“Belinda.”
She whirled around in surprise as Janice stepped out of the brush and into the clearing. “Janice. Oh, my gosh, I was just thinking about you. What are you doing here? Did you forget something when you left this morning?”
“Yes…I forgot something.” She reached into her purse, an odd expression on her face.
Belinda froze in surprise as she withdrew a gun and leveled it at her. “Janice, what are you doing?”
Janice’s lips curled upward in a smile, but her eyes radiated an emptiness that terrified Belinda. “I’m taking back what’s mine.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t understand.” With the barrel of the gun pointed at her, Belinda remained frozen, afraid to move a single muscle. “Janice, put the gun down and let’s talk.”
She shook her head, the gun not wavering. “I can’t do that. You have to die. It’s the only way he’ll love me again.”
Slowly, dreadfully, knowledge filtered into Belinda’s brain. Janice had dated Derek right before Belinda and Derek had begun their relationship. “Oh, Janice,” she breathed softly. “It was you all along? You broke into my house? Ran me off the road?” She remembered the bruise on Janice’s shoulder, a bruise caused by the recoil of a shotgun butt. “You tried to shoot me?”
“You’ve been an exceedingly lucky victim. But your luck just ran out”
“But…what about Roger?” Belinda asked, frantic to keep her talking, to buy herself time…time for Derek to realize she hadn’t followed them and something was wrong. “I thought you cared about him.”
“Roger?” Janice barked an amused laugh. “Roger is nothing but a temporary amusement” Her eyes blazed with anger and madness. “Derek is the only man for me. He’s always been the only one for me. But you ruined everything.”
“You sent those notes to Derek?”
Janice nodded. “It was a test, and he failed. I figured if I sent those notes about you and he didn’t return here, then he no longer cared. My plan was to go to California and resume our relationship.” Her gaze narrowed and sheer malevolence radiated toward Belinda. “But he came running back here, running back to you. Always you. Always you.” Her voice rose shrilly. “Now turn around. It will be easier if I shoot you from behind.”
“Wait…” Time. Belinda needed time. Janice’s hand holding the gun was steady, too steady for Belinda to take a chance rushing her. All she could hope was that she could keep Janice talking long enough for Derek to return.
“Please…I deserve some answers. Was it you who set fire to Derek’s house?”
Janice’s features paled. “That was a mistake. I lost control. I saw you and him together that night, making love in his room. I knew his parents were gone and figured you two planned to spend the night together.” She gripped the gun so tightly her hand was white. “I was so angry my mind went red. I left and got some gasoline and rags, then I returned and sneaked into the house and set the fire. I didn’t know you’d already left.”
Tears filled Belinda’s eyes. As she realized the love she’d felt for Derek had spawned such evil in Janice, her heart ached for them all.
“It was crazy,” Janice continued. “I didn’t want to hurt Derek, I just wanted you two to stop. I wanted to make you go away. I wanted you to die, but you didn’t. And now you have him once again, but this time you will die and I’ll get him back.”
“Janice.” Derek stepped out of the woods and into the clearing. Belinda nearly sagged to the ground in relief. “Give me the gun,” he said, his voice smooth, his features carefully schooled to reveal nothing.
“No. Don’t come any closer, Derek,” she warned, her composure shattering at his appearance. “Damn. You weren’t supposed to be here. You weren’t supposed to know.” Her hand trembled, but not enough to spoil her shot if she pulled the trigger. “I know you’ll be upset for a while, but I’ll make you forget her. I’ll make you so happy you won’t grieve for long.”
“Janice, you need to give me the gun.” Derek remained calm as he advanced a step toward her. “Right now we can fix what’s happened, but if you pull that trigger, we won’t be able to fix things.”
“Stop. Don’t come any closer,” Janice screamed as tears raced down her cheeks. “I don’t want to hurt you, Derek, but I want her dead…dead.”
“Uncle Derek.” Tasha’s childish voice cut through the air and diverted Janice’s attention. With the agility of a mountain lion, Derek leapt toward her. The gun went off with a roar and Belinda screamed as splinters from the tree next to her hit the side of her face.
She sobbed as Derek and Janice scuffled on the ground, fighting for control of the weapon. As she saw Tasha and Toby, frozen with fear at the edge of the clearing, she rushed to them. “Run. Run back to the house,” she commanded. They all screamed as the gun went off once again.
The kids took off running and Belinda turned back to the couple rolling on the ground. Frantically she searched for a limb or something she could use as a weapon to help Derek. Before she could find anything useful, Derek managed to gain control of the gun. He stood as Janice remained on the ground, sobbing in despair. “Go to the house and c
all the sheriff. Tell him where we’re at, then stay there with the kids.”
Belinda nodded. What she wanted to do was go to him, hold him close, assure herself he was fine. But now was not the time.
As she hurried back to the house, myriad emotions swept through her. Horror, as she thought of how close she’d come to being killed. Sadness, as she realized the depths of Janice’s madness. And finally, relief that it was all over.
It was still difficult to believe that it had been Janice all along. Janice who’d extended a hand in friendship merely as a means to get closer for the kill.
Janice breaking into her house. Janice shooting a gun at her. She touched her neck. Janice’s hands wrapped around her throat So strong. The strength of madness, Belinda supposed.
And it had been Janice who had forced her off the road on the night of the Harvest Moon Dance. She’d been driving a car off her father’s lot, and that’s why Belinda hadn’t recognized the car.
Still, nothing, no thought could be stronger than her utter relief. Over. All the threats, all the danger. She had her life back. Now all she had to do was find out if that life would include Derek, not just for a year, but forever.
DEREK KNEW that for the rest of his life, the madness, the twisted love in Janice’s eyes would haunt him. He’d only had a handful of dates with her, had never been intimate with her at all. But somehow, in her mind, their relationship had expanded, become allconsuming…an obsession.
Dusk painted purple shadows amid the trees as he walked back to the house. Long after Junior had arrived and taken Janice away, Derek had sat beneath one of the trees, trying to get a handle on his rage.
Rage. It was what had driven Janice to start the fire that destroyed his life. And it was what flowed through him as he thought back on everything Janice had said to him while they’d waited for the sheriff to arrive. She’d begged, she’d pleaded, and finally she’d spewed Belinda’s secret, all in an effort to cajole Derek into letting her go.
He paused as the house came into view. Staring at it, he tried to imagine Belinda inside. He was certain she’d be nearly beside herself, wondering what had happened after the sheriff arrived, why Derek hadn’t immediately returned.
He hadn’t returned because his rage had frightened him. His grief had nearly undone him. It had been the possibility that Janice had lied that finally drew him toward home. He had to know if Janice had lied, or if Belinda’s betrayal, her hatred of him, ran deep enough for her to keep such a devastating secret.
She met him at the door, her eyes dark with worry. “What happened?” she asked as they went into the living room.
“She’s been arrested and will be charged with attempted murder.” He sank onto the sofa. “Where are the kids?”
“Asleep. Between the fresh air and the excitement, they were worn out. I decided an early bedtime would be in everyone’s best interest.” She sat next to him on the sofa. “It’s just so hard to believe that it was Janice all along. She must have loved you desperately.”
Derek frowned. “What she felt for me had nothing to do with love. Love isn’t crazy. Love doesn’t set fires.” He looked at her, wanting desperately to believe Janice had lied. “And love doesn’t keep secrets. Tell me about the baby, Belinda.”
Her face blanched of all color. “She told you.”
Any hope that Janice had lied disappeared, replaced by a choking anger that propelled him off the sofa. “I want you to tell me. Dammit, I want you to tell me what happened to my baby.”
“Your baby?” Red stains of color returned to her cheeks as her eyes flashed with an anger of her own. “You negated any right you had to the baby when you wrote me that letter telling me it was over.”
“No matter what happened between the two of us, I had a right to know that you were carrying my child.” His heart felt as if it were made of crystal and she’d just fired a killing shot into the center of it. “Dammit, Belinda, I had a right to mourn for my son.”
He drew a steadying breath, his eyes searching her face with incomprehension. “How could you lie next to me in bed and not tell me about him? How could you marry me, for any reason, and not tell me about the son I’d lost?”
“What difference does it all make now? It’s done, it’s over.” Tears spilled from her eyes.
This was wrong, all wrong, Derek thought in some distant part of his mind. They should be grieving together, supporting each other in the loss of the baby. But she’d had two years to mourn and his grief was still too fresh to share.
She got up from the sofa and walked over to him, tears making her eyes shine like blue diamonds. “Derek, please…” She reached out to him and he knew she wanted what he’d just thought…to mourn with him. She wanted him to hold her, wanted them to grieve like other parents—together.
He couldn’t do that. He was still too filled with anger, still too stunned by the unexpected informa tion. He turned from her and strode to the front door. “I’m going out for a while. By the time I get home, have your things moved from the master suite back to the guest room. I think we need some space.”
He didn’t wait for her answer. He walked out into the cold night, his leg ache just a mere irritation compared to the pain in his heart.
Chapter Fifteen
By the time Derek returned to the house, night had fallen and Belinda had not only moved her things from the master suite, but had also come to a painful decision.
She couldn’t stay here. It was asking too much for her to remain in a marriage to a man she loved but who would never love her. It was too much to mother two loving children for a period of time, then walk away from their lives.
She’d been sitting in the living room when Derek had returned. He’d gone directly to the master bedroom and closed the door behind him. Belinda knew in closing her off from their bedroom, he’d conclusively shui her out of his life.
It was ironic that even in her defeat, Janice had managed to do what she’d set out to accomplish: she’d made certain that Derek and Belinda wouldn’t share a future together. Derek would never forgive her for keeping the baby a secret, and he’d never love her like she longed to be loved.
Belinda knew Derek wouldn’t penalize her sisters by withdrawing his financial support when she reneged on their agreement of a yearlong mock marriage. She’d do nothing toward obtaining a divorce until she was certain Derek had full, permanent custody of the children. But she couldn’t live with him, couldn’t share the days and nights with him and keep her sanity.
Before leaving she paused first in Tasha’s doorway, then in Toby’s, taking a last, lingering look at the children she’d grown to love. Her heart ached with the pain of leaving. But she couldn’t stay. It hurt too much to love Derek and not be loved in return.
It was after ten o’clock when she walked quietly down the stairs, turned off the security alarm, and stepped out the front door.
A full moon peeked out from above wispy night clouds. She lingered on the porch, heart heavy, wish ing things could be different, but knowing they never would be. She’d seen Derek’s eyes when he’d turned away from her. They’d been filled with such betrayal, such pain. She couldn’t remain where she wasn’t wanted. And he didn’t want her.
Stepping onto the dew-dampened grass, she whis pered a soft goodbye. Eventually she’d make arrangements to get her clothes and personal items from Derek. There was nothing here she couldn’t live without for a few days. Nothing except Derek, and that was no longer possible.
Her heart ached with each step that took her closer to the Connor ranch. Funny, how just in a space of days the family ranch no longer felt like home.
Home was Derek’s house, with the children’s laughter and Derek’s arm around her. Home was breakfast in the morning with Derek’s brown gaze warm on her, waking up with his body pressed close to hers.
The full moon cast eerie shadows on the landscape around her. She would never have considered this night journey had Janice not been caught. With Janice arrested an
d in jail, Belinda knew the danger to her was over.
Besides, Belinda had never been afraid of the dark, nor had she ever felt unsafe in the shadowed moonlight that night brought. It had been in the heart of night that she and Derek had often met to share a lovers’ tryst. It had been in the darkness of night that they had pledged their love to one another. She would never be afraid of the dark, only the harsh reality of dawn.
She froze in her tracks as she heard a crackle of brush nearby. Perhaps an animal scurrying home to a snug burrow, she thought. Another snap of brush, then the slap of a foot against dried leaves. If it was an animal, it was an animal with big feet. “Hello?” she called tentatively. “Is somebody there?” She gasped as a figure stepped out from the brush.
“Belinda?”
She sighed in relief as she recognized Roger’s voice. “Roger, you scared the life out of me,” she exclaimed.
“Sorry.” His teeth shone in the moonlight as he grinned and stepped closer to her. “You surprised me, too. What are you doing out here at this time of night?”
“Coming home. What about you?” She wondered if he’d heard the news about Janice, dreaded having to be the one to tell him if he hadn’t heard.
His grin fell away. “I couldn’t sleep.” He swept his hat off his head, his blond hair gleaming silvery in the lunar light. “Belinda, I don’t know what to say about Janice. Had I known…had I realized…”
Belinda placed a hand on his arm. “None of us could know. She’s sick, and she hid that sickness well. I’m sorry, Roger. For you…and for me.” She dropped her hand and leaned against a tree trunk, suspecting Roger needed to talk as much as she did. “It’s still hard for me to believe that Janice hated me so much.”
“Everyone was talking about it before bed,” Roger replied. “I guess it’s the kind of news that spreads like wildfire.”
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