As the guard secured the door and waited outside, the lawyer stood up to greet me; shaking my hand and continuing to smile. I wondered why he seemed so happy to see me. I had my guards up and continued to stand after shaking his hand, looking at him in wonder.
“My name is William Reed. I am your attorney. Please, have a seat.”
My face balled up in more confusion as I continued to stand. “I don’t have a lawyer and I don’t need a lawyer.”
“Nathaniel hired me.”
“Who?”
“Nathaniel Washington.”
“Who?”
“You’re sister’s boyfriend.”
When I went to jail, my sister was dating Smith. I jogged my memory for a Nathaniel, and then I realized. “Oh, Blood?”
William chuckled as he nodded. “Yes, Blood.”
Then I was really confused because, last I heard, Blood was dead.
However, since William was referencing family, I let my guard down a little and sat down across from him. My heart began to beat rapidly and skip beats as I anticipated what he was about to say to me.
“I have some very good news for you, Star.”
I wasn’t moved by his words. The only news that I could hear that was going to get me excited was if he was about to tell me that he knew a way that I could get rid of this baby or if I was being released.
Both options were so farfetched that I didn’t even bother considering the possibilities.
“Nathaniel hired me to look back into your case. I found sufficient discrepancies to warrant an appeal. I have since been working to get you that appeal, and, earlier this week, that appeal was granted. Your case is going back to trial in a few weeks.”
I was shaken in a good way. It was as if my body wanted to be ecstatic; to cry and jump with joy. Yet, my mind knew that nothing was guaranteed and wanted to remain numb to such feelings that would make my stay, however much longer it would be, unbearable.
“So, what does that mean exactly?”
William chuckled as if my caution was amusing, yet understood. “You have a new opportunity to argue your case and, if everything goes as planned, you will be completely free of these charges. But first we are going to try to get you out of here. A bail hearing is scheduled for next week. I am hoping to get you released on bail during the trial.”
“Released?”
William smiled as he ensured me, “Yes, released. I have sufficient evidence to prove your innocence in the drug charges and Tim and GiGi’s murders.”
“What about Roxie, Benz, and Scoop?”
I hadn’t said their names in so long that the pronunciation felt foreign to me. Along with my family, I tried to forget the idiot motherfuckers that I was so loyal to that ran and left me to take all these charges.
With an even bigger smile, William replied, “Oh, my team has been hunting them down for months. That asshole Benz has been all on Facebook posting pictures and tagging himself at places. He was arrested a few weeks ago. It didn’t take much convincing to get him to turn Roxie and Scoop in.”
For the first time in a very long time, I let out a sigh of relief.
“I wouldn’t be here unless I was sure that I could help you, Star,” William ensured me. “Believe me, if your appeal was granted, it was for a damn good reason.”
My walk back to the block was so much lighter. I wasn’t totally convinced of my freedom. I had to keep a level mind, just in case William was overly confident. However, a minuscule amount of worry and burden had been lifted from my shoulders. There was hope present in me, and that felt good.
I couldn’t hide the small glimpse of happiness in my eyes from Dawn when I entered her cell.
Dawn looked at me curiously as I walked towards her. She was lying across her bed reading a book. “What’s up, chica?”
As I sat on her bed, I had to sigh and take it all in, realizing that what I was about to tell her was actually real and that I wasn’t dreaming.
“A lawyer just came to see me.”
“For what?”
“I was granted a new trial. I have a court date next week to get released on bail.”
Dawn sat straight up once the words left my lips. Then she laughed aloud and through her arms around me. Again, I couldn’t allow myself to get my hopes up, so I didn’t meet her happiness.
She looked at my solemn expression and slapped my leg. “Aren’t you happy?!”
“Dawn, what if I still get found guilty?”
“You have to be positive, Star!”
I shook my head in frustration. I wanted to be happy, but I also wanted to stay sane.
“What am I going to do about this baby? I have to get rid of it now that I am going to trial. If they find out that I’m pregnant, they can definitely use that against me.”
“Just wait until next week to see if you get released. If you do, you can take care of it then.”
That made me feel a little bit better. More pressure was relieved from my shoulders, but I dared not rely on that possibility. Dawn was right, I could simply wait to see if I get released before taking care of this “problem”. However, in the mean time, I was going to figure out a “b” and “c” option.
TRICEY
When I entered the house and saw Iyana sitting at the dining room table with a scale in front of her, I damn near had a heart attack.
I could have fainted when my eyes mentally summed up the amount of coke that was on the dining room table; some already packaged in bricks.
I didn’t even say hello to her or Devin, who sat across from her, before I started going off. “Blood!”
Iyana, Devin, and Ariana, who I was carrying in my arms, jumped as I barked Blood’s name.
“Blood!”
“Tricey, he’s not here. He went to get something to eat,” Devin quickly explained.
“What the fuck is all of this?!” I was livid.
“Tricey, calm down,” Devin told me.
“Why is this shit in my house?! Did anybody see you bringing this in here?!” I was so pissed! I couldn’t believe that Blood allowed them to even bring this shit in my house. He knew how cautious I was and how cautious he needed to be.
Devin stood and began to walk towards me. “Tricey, its good. We were careful. I just need to pack this up. The quicker I do it, the quicker I can get it out of here.”
I simply glared at Devin as his eyes begged me to calm down.
“Hurry up,” I simply told him as I walked out of the dining room and towards my bedroom.
I was so pissed that I didn’t even want to talk to Blood. So, as soon as I got into my bedroom and sat Ariana down on the bed, I was text messaging him all kinds of four letter words.
“Knock knock.” Iyana was standing in my doorway looking at me shamefully, like I was doing the most or something.
“Calm down, Tricey. Blood left his keys to the spot here and he wasn’t about to drive back out West. We didn’t have anywhere else to do it.”
“We?” I couldn’t believe it. Iyana was just way too wrapped up in this shit. “Why are you touching that shit anyway, Iyana?! You need to wake up. This shit ain’t as cute as it may look.”
Iyana giggled and shook her head as she said, “You so scary.”
“You aren’t scary enough! And until its motherfuckers in your house holding you at gun point, don’t talk to me about being scary!”
I took a deep breath and tried to redirect my anger. Iyana and her naivety had nothing to do with my anger. It was Blood’s head that I wanted on a platter, not hers.
“Iyana, I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I’m upset, but it has nothing to do with you.”
“I know, girl,” she said with smile, attempting to make light of the situation. “But don’t chew Blood out too bad. He really didn’t have anywhere else to do this. We were careful bringing it in and it will be out as soon as possible.”
She was on that “we” shit again. Yet, I let it go. If Iyana wanted to play Bonnie, that was on her.
&nb
sp; She would learn one day.
Sixteen
Thursday, May 26, 2011
VICTORIA
The next day, I found out just how real this beef with Jahleel was.
At around one o’clock in the afternoon, during one of the lunch hours, I heard mayhem outside of the open windows of my office. Initially, the only thing coming through them was the beautiful seventy-seven degree winds. Then, out of nowhere, there was loud commotion and curdling screams filling my office as they entered along with the wind.
I jumped up from my desk in an instant. As I ran out of my office, I nearly bumped into other teachers and staff, who were running toward the exit as well.
Outside was pandemonium. It was like the scene of a horribly scary movie. Kids were running away from the scene, not towards it as they usually did when there was a fight. As they ran away, many of them were either crying, covering their mouths, shaking their heads, or all of the above.
I focused on the scene as I continued to run toward it, further down the street and towards the corner. There was a running car at the stop sign with its doors open. It, as well as the commotion, had caused traffic on the main street. Many cars stood at the blocked intersection, the drivers blowing their horns in anger. Some of the passengers inside the cars had actually gotten out to see what was going on.
As many of the teachers and staff reached the source of the commotion, I saw three guys jump into the once abandoned car and speed off, veering around students to keep from hitting them along the way.
I continued to hear cries as I fought through the small crowd that stayed. I noticed that a few of them were on their knees hovering over someone or something. I could hear them screaming for someone to call 9-1-1. I could also hear someone saying “Oh my God” over and over again.
I even heard praying.
Immense fear entered me as I told the students to move out of the way.
I felt faint when I saw Jahleel lying unconscious in a pool of blood. Despite his bruises from the fight a few days ago, I couldn’t see any new wounds; only blood as it leaked from its unknown source and onto the pavement beneath him.
I let out a curdling scream as I dropped to my knees. “What happened?!”
Many of the students started to speak at once; some saying that he was stabbed once, or twice, or even four or five times.
The nearing ambulance made it hard for me to make out what the students were saying. My tears made it hard for me to see. Teddy, an administrator, and Jene, the Vice Principal, were forcing kids to move back in order to make way for the ambulance as it pulled up next to us.
I continued to kneel next to Jahleel as I grabbed his hand and began to pray.
I had never seen a dead body before. Even when my mother died, I didn’t watch the life leave her body. Yet, I felt as if I was watching it leave Jahleel’s- if it hadn’t left already.
Watching a child lay on the ground in such a state caused the spirit of fear and death to come over me, and it was spooky, eerie, and nothing I will ever forget.
I prayed the hardest that I had prayed in months. I prayed for Jahleel’s health, his soul, and for a miracle. I asked God to forgive me for ignoring him and begged Him for an opportunity for me to make it right.
Considering the midday traffic, by the time Lynn and I made it to the hospital, Jahleel was already in surgery.
Being the only related person to him that was present, I was being asked a million questions that I could not answer. I also had no idea how to get in touch with his sister or father, so Lynn got on the phone with the main office of the school so that they could notify his family.
Though Jahleel was alive, he was barely alive. He suffered multiple stab wounds to the chest and abdomen, and therefore a blood transfusion was needed for a successful recovery.
I gave my blood with no question. Then Lynn and I waited in the waiting area, held hands, and literally had intercessory prayer.
It had been so long since I unconditionally acknowledged, praised, and talked to God that I was scared that He wouldn’t even listen to me.
Nevertheless, I prayed anyway, hoping that He would see my heart, know it, and listen to my prayers despite my wrong doing.
Lynn, being the sanctified being that she is, took over the prayer and began to speak in tongues, interceding according to the will of God, praying continually without ceasing, interceding to the Father in the name of Jesus, and even praying for the presence of a forgiving spirit within me.
Eventually, I could no longer pray, because my cries had taken over me. Being in such an undeniable presence of God made me realize my state of being. I felt so horrible that that sorrow and shame came out of me in weeps.
In return, Lynn reached over and embraced me, telling me, “It’s going to be okay, Vic.”
I continued to cry. “I can’t believe this is happening! Not again!”
“He’s going to be okay. In Jesus’ name, he is going to be okay.”
I trusted Lynn and attempted to have that same faith.
As I tried to calm down, Jesse and his wife entered the waiting room in a hurry. Offsite, Lynn knew exactly who they were. Jahleel looked exactly like his father. Therefore, knowing our relationship, Lynn took it upon herself to answer the many questions that they began to shoot at us.
“Where is Jahleel?! Is he okay?!” Jesse’s wife was nearly in tears as she spoke.
She looked at me, recognized me, and then looked away; ignoring my presence and speaking only to Lynn. I figured that Jolanda and Jahleel shared with her my refusal to be a part of their life, so she shared the same disgust with me that they had.
“He is in surgery.” Jesse and his wife nearly fainted into their seats as Lynn continued. “He was stabbed in the chest and stomach, but he is stabilized. He’s been in surgery for at least an hour now.”
“How did this happen?!”
Once again, Jesse’s wife was avoiding me and speaking only to Lynn. Jesse was also avoiding me. However, his avoidance seemed more shameful then full of rage like his wife’s. I felt the most awkward that I ever felt in my life.
Though I just finished praying, I sincerely missed being relieved of the stress that Jesse caused on my life. Memories of him laying on top of me in the middle of the night and beating me during the day were able to seep into my mind every now and then, but, for the past few weeks, I experienced life without those thoughts. Even as I saw Jahleel and Jolanda in the halls at Kraton, as long as I was ignoring their existence, I was able to forget my past.
Now, as Jesse sat across from me, my skin crawled just as it did the day that he tried to have sex with me and then, when I had the audacity to fight him off of me, beat me until the point that I attempted to slit my own wrists.
I could hear Lynn explaining what she knew of the courses of action that led to Jahleel ending up here. As I sat daydreaming of a better life and being in a happier place, her voice sounded like a faint television that I left on in the other room.
I even began to figure out a good time to excuse myself to the ladies room so that I could take myself to that happier place.
“Is this the Brown family?”
The voice of the doctor caught us all off guard. We anxiously looked at the door, at the white older gentlemen in a lab coat. His badge read Dr. Diego Hupert.
“Yes, we’re the Brown family, doctor,” Jesse’s wife eagerly answered.
As thoughts of me and Jesse’s past continued to flood my brain, I looked at him in anger. This was my first time being in front of this man in years. I left his house when I was fifteen, after he attempted to rape me. I hadn’t seen him again before a few years ago. He was a guest speaker at my church’s anniversary service. He attempted to apologize, but I cursed him and had not seen him since.
Now that I was being forced to be in his environment, in such a family setting at that, I felt as if he just punched me this morning and just molested me last night. I looked at him in the same disgust that I did when I was a child, and
I couldn’t hide it no matter how hard I tried.
“I need to speak with Victoria Brown privately,” I heard the doctor say over my thoughts.
I looked at him curiously as I stood. This was not the doctor that spoke with me and Lynn when we first arrived, but I was sure that he was one of many doctors that were currently working on saving Jahleel’s life.
“We are Jahleel’s parents,” Jesse’s wife told Dr. Hupert as she pointed to herself and Jesse. “Whatever you have to say concerning him can be said to us.”
I became even more anxious when Dr. Hupert’s response was, “This really needs to be discussed privately between me and Victoria. This is concerning her lab work.”
Immediately, my heart began to beat a mile a minute. I instantly remembered that I gave blood with enough cocaine in my system to get indicted for. I wanted to kick my own ass for not thinking clearly enough when I was so willing to donate blood.
“What’s wrong…”
Jesse’s wife’s nosiness interrupted me, “Lab work? Why did she get lab work done?”
“Jahleel loss a lot of blood, ma’am. He needs donors and…”
Then Jesse interrupted this time; even standing to his feet in concern. Yet, instead of asking about Jahleel, he had the audacity to ask about me. “You took her blood?”
“Yes. At the time, she was the only person here that could donate,” Dr. Hupert answered.
In response, Jesse sighed and shook his head in frustration. I thought the nerve of him to be frustrated. However, that is the same way that he so selfishly acted when my mother was in the hospital; as if he was the one sick and dying.
Jesse’s wife became irritated. “So what’s the issue?”
Dr. Hupert insisted, “Ma’am, I really need to discuss this in private with Victoria.”
“What the hell is going on with my son?!”
Jesse and Lynn were shocked at Jesse’s wife’s sudden rage and tone. Though her misery and frustration was understood, given her child’s pending condition, the fact that a preacher’s wife had flipped out was a little shocking.
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