He ignored my anger while I ignored his presence. I even ignored the fact that, “Mauri”, what Blood calls his son, had been walking along with him and fell inside of the kitchen as he attempted to follow his father.
I opened the refrigerator as he started to cry. Nothing in me was moved to see if he was hurt or if Blood was close enough to see about him.
I reached for the salad that I had come into the kitchen to get, closed the refrigerator, and was very prepared to walk around Blood; who was now standing in the middle of the floor holding Mauri and consoling him.
Just hearing that baby’s cries and Blood’s loving words made my skin crawl and my stomach turn. My mind raced with thoughts of how they had probably been in the same predicament; but, instead, in her house, in her presence.
“That’s so fuckin’ evil,” I heard Blood say as I left the kitchen.
I spun around immediately and calmly asked, “Excuse me?”
“You was just gone leave him on floor?”
Still, I was being nonchalant and not caring to hide my disregard for his son. “What was I suppose to do?”
I was being real evil, and I knew that. But I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I didn’t even want to be there to see that baby or look into Blood’s lying ass face, but I had no choice. Blood was looking out for his kid and, hell, me still being in that condo was me looking out for mine.
When at first Blood was looking at me in disgust and pity as I stared him down, daring him to start a fight with me, he changed his tone. Blood was smart enough to know that I was acting out because I was hurt, not because I could truly be so mean to a child.
“Can we talk?”
I huffed, puffed, rolled my eyes, and acted like talking was the last thing that I wanted to do in life.
Yet, I gave in when he said, “Please?”
As he and I sat at the table, Mauri ran into the back towards Ariana’s room.
I realized that I was in Blood’s situation a year ago. I had cheated, been caught up, and wanted to fix it. And though Blood is unaware of the depth of my infidelity, I still had nerve to sit there like my shit didn’t stink.
However, there is a huge difference between what I did, fucking on the side, and what he did, hiding a family. I can get over him cheating, but what I can’t get over is his ability to tell such lies that he could hide this baby from me!
“Tricey, I’m sorry,” was the first thing he said. He seemed to be begging, and I had never seen such a hardcore goon look so helpless. “It was nothing else that I could do. I couldn’t leave my seed out there like that.”
I just sat there staring at him. I didn’t know what to say. I had so many questions. I wanted to know who Mauri’s mother was, how long their relationship had been, and even if they were still in one. But since he’d kept this whole life from me, it was obvious that I would never know the truth about anything else, so I couldn’t bring myself to ask those questions.
I seemed to hiss at him with flames of fire as I spoke in such a calm and low tone that it came out evil. “Do you realize that I can never trust yo’ ass again?”
He flinched at my anger and seemed disappointed that his humbleness hadn’t won me over.
“Now, every time you leave town – hell, every time you leave this house – I’m already knowin’ you gone be with another woman…”
“I’m not though…”
“How do I know that?!” I was so heated; slapped my hands on the table and yelled at the top of my lungs. “We been living a fucking lie for a year and nine months!”
“No, we haven’t! You know how hard this shit was for me?!”
I laughed in his face. “Hard for you? What was hard for you? Fucking another bitch? Laying up in her fucking house every time you went to Texas?”
“I wasn’t laying up in her house,” he said exasperated. His hands were on his forehead and he was shaking his head in disbelief.
But I didn’t care. “How do I know that?! I trusted you, Blood, and you took that from me! You coulda told me that the fucking sky was red, and I would have believed you!”
“And you still can!”
“HOW?! You’re a fucking liar, Blood! You’ve had an entire family for a year…”
“NO, I HAVEN’T! STOP SAYIN’ THAT SHIT!”
His voice echoed throughout the house like thunder. He slammed his hands down on the table so hard that I thought the table would shatter into a million pieces.
Suddenly, Mauri and Ariana started to whine. When Blood stood, I thought he was going to the back to get his son, but, instead, he went towards the front door.
“I’m out this motherfucka,” I heard him mutter.
“That’s fine! But take your baby with you!”
STAR
Though the tips I was making from the shows weren’t a lot, I managed to do two more shows after last Saturday’s show. So I used that money, plus a little from my paycheck, to get my hair, nails, and feet done. I also bought some make up and lingerie for the show that night.
When I got to the spot that the show was at, Keesha’s mouth damn neared dropped. The other chicks in the show with us immediately turned up their noses. They were expecting the girl from last week. They were expecting the girl with no confidence because her hair wasn’t done, she wasn’t made up, she had a self-applied manicure, and she could barely put an outfit together. But that’s not who showed up that night.
I already had something on many girls because I was shapely. I had a naturally phat ass and big hips. Many of these girls were waiting on their tax returns so that they could get butt injections. After being released from prison, I lost about twenty pounds. So I was back to the petite, small-waist frame that I had when I went in the joint. The only thing these chicks had on me was experience stripping. But I was coming for them because the money was making me feel so much better about myself.
Hell, last week I was able to take Jordan to Friday’s. I couldn’t remember the last time I was able to do that after getting released.
Now that I had spent the money to glam myself up, I needed to make that money back. So I was focused that night. I didn’t care how grimy the niggas were or how ratchet these hoes wanted to act. I was there to dance, get tipped, and get the fuck out.
“Hey, Star. Let me holla at you real quick.”
The music had already started. The other two girls were already in the living room doing their thing. I didn’t know what the hell Keesha wanted. She closed the door behind herself as she entered the bedroom. It wasn’t really a bedroom though. We were obviously dancing at some nigga’s spot, where he sold drugs out of and kicked it at. It barely had any furniture and clearly wasn’t cleaned much, so it clearly wasn’t his home.
“What’s up, Keesha?”
“Look, the other girls trippin’. They say since you’re new, you shouldn’t be able to do the show.”
“What?!”
“I know, girl,” she said smacking her lips and rolling her eyes. I saw right through that shit though. It wasn’t the other girls that felt that way. Clearly, Keesha felt that way. Otherwise, as my girl, she would have told them to fuck off.
Quickly, I told myself not to get so upset that it showed. I had to realize that I was on their turf and, even if we worked together, Keesha didn’t owe me anything. They allowed me in on their hustle. I needed them to continue to as long as I was still thinking of ways to get money on my own, so I obliged.
“Ah ight.”
“I mean, you can dance on the sidelines for tips if you want.”
“That’s cool.”
It took so much for me to swallow my pride as I followed her out of the room.
Keesha disappeared amongst the large crowd that seemed to be surrounding the show. This is what I hated about dancing for thirsty ass niggas. They crowd around you damn near with they dicks out but not a dollar in their hand. I managed to wiggle my way through the crowd. I felt a few of them grab my ass as I did. In the middle of the circle, Keesha and
the other two dancers, Tasha and Ebony, were fingering each other and licking pussy. Ebony’s ass was in the air as she licked Keesha while some guy had his dirty ass fingers in her pussy. I was disgusted. I was even more disgusted when I saw barely twenty singles on the ground.
As I turned to step out of the crowd and work a few guys that were on the outskirts of the crowd, I heard so many derogatory comments; niggas asking me how much for a blow job or some pussy.
Though I hated Benz, Scoop, and Roxy, I missed the level of hustle that they put me on. First and foremost, I’d never be stripping. And if I was going to fuck for a buck, I’d rather it be at the Drake than in a trap house.
At the time, I was standing over some guy sitting on a crate and clapping my ass to Chief Keef’s I Don’t Like.
It was about an hour into the show, almost time for it to be over. Despite these chicks hating, I managed to make a little over two hundred dollars in tips.
Even while I was clearly dancing for someone else, some other dude walked up on me while holding Tasha’s hand and told me, “Let’s go to the back, shawty.”
I asked him, “For what?”
“Some private shit.”
“Nah, uh huh,” Tasha quickly told him. “I only do private shows with Keesha or Ebony.”
I ignored her hating ass and kept dancing for dude, but the one with Tasha refused. “But I’m paying and I want her.”
When Tasha gave him more attitude, he crushed her dreams. “Well, fuck it then, I don’t want you at all. C’mon, shawty.”
He had let go of Tasha’s hand, grabbed mine, and literally started to drag me away from the other guy. I stopped him, making sure that I got my tips off of the floor before he led me down the hall.
I was only going with him to piss Tasha off. I wasn’t about to do anything with him that I couldn’t do in the living room in front of everybody.
As soon as we got to the back, the lights were coming on in the living room and our security was announcing that the show was over. I was relieved because I wasn’t prepared to argue or fight with this clown once he realized that I wasn’t about to fuck.
“Sorry, baby. Show is over,” I quickly told him as I scooted into the bedroom we were changing in and closed the door.
I made sure to change real quick, especially once the Three Blind Mice came into the room with the same hating ass mugs they had all night. I didn’t say a word besides excusing myself to the ladies room to freshen up. They didn’t say shit to me during the ride home either, except for Keesha making sure that I gave her the ten dollars on gas that I promised her for giving me a ride.
As I approached my house, I figured that that was probably the last time they were going to invite me to a show.
I shrugged it off and quickly crept through the house to keep from waking my mother and Jordan. I was so exhausted as I went into my room and sat on the floor to count my tips.
When I reached into my duffle bag for my coin purse, I didn’t feel it. Frantically, I dumped everything out of the duffle bag. The coin purse where I kept my tips was at the bottom of the bag, not in the side pocket where I knew I put it.
And it was empty.
Five
Friday, August 17, 2012
Tricey
Friday afternoon, my mom and sister came over to help me and Blood decorate the forest preserve for Ariana’s birthday party later that evening at five.
Blood went all out for Ariana’s party. Besides a massive amount of tables and chairs, he had cotton candy machines, popcorn machines, ponies, clowns, trampolines, and two bounce houses. Not to mention the chef he hired to barbecue and cater the entire party.
Clearly, he went overboard, but I think a lot of that was to buy my affection.
I still wasn’t moved.
I stayed to myself, hanging pink and purple balloons, because I didn’t want to give my mother the perception that something was wrong. It stressed me out further that at some point I was going to have to explain to my mother and sister who this child was that magically appeared with our clan that looked just like my supposedly faithful and loving man.
“Tricey, I’ll be back. I gotta go get Lucky.”
I barely even looked at Blood as I simply replied, “Okay,” in a tone that questioned why he was telling me.
In response, he had the audacity to huff and puff, like I was getting on his nerves.
I asked him, “What’s all that for?”
“Why are you actin’ like this?”
I discreetly looked around to see if my mother and sister were in range of my voice, but they weren’t. They were over a hundred feet away from me, on the other side of the park, helping Jordan and Ariana get inside of one of the bounce houses.
“How am I supposed to act, Blood?”
“Like you wanna be here.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to be here? It’s my daughter’s birthday.”
“No, here. With me.”
I didn’t feel like this shit. It was ninety-five fucking degrees. The sun was not playing. I had an attitude. I just wanted to get through this damn party without my mama noticing this damn baby, who was on his way since he was with Lucky.
I lost it when Blood smacked his lips and said, “Man, you trippin’”.
“Trippin?! I’m trippin’?! Motherfucka, you come home with a kid you expect me to raise and I’m the one trippin’?!”
“What was I suppose to do, Tricey?! I couldn’t leave him there!”
“What you coulda done was not fucked the bitch! That’s what you coulda done.”
He had no reply for that.
“Right. And maybe had you told me he existed a year ago, by now, I might accept the lil’ motherfucka. But no, you wanted to hide his whole motherfuckin existence. So while you standing here actin’ like I’m the one trippin’, please understand that you the one that fucked up. Not me.”
“I couldn’t tell you that shit. We was goin’ through a lot at the time.”
“So!”
I understood his point. I was lying and cheating back then too for the same reasons. But had he been as careful as me, we wouldn’t be going through this bullshit.
“Tricey, I need you to accept him. I really need you to.”
“I’m sorry, Blood, but I can’t.”
His feelings actually looked hurt.
“Do you really expect me to accept him and raise him?! Not only do I have to get over the fact that you cheated on me, but I also have to stomach the fact that another bitch had the chance to do with you the one thing that I never have; have your baby. Your first baby at that. You took that from me!”
As soon as I felt the tears, I turned to walk away. I didn’t want my mother to see me, though she wasn’t paying us any attention.
Blood was right behind me, grabbing my arm to stop my escape. When I turned around and his chest nearly collided with my face, his scent came over me. I realized how much I missed his smell being so close to me. Though we had been in the same household, we were there only physically, avoiding one another like the plague. The emotion in my house was gone, and I missed it tremendously.
I wanted it back so bad. It hurt my heart that this situation was so fucked up that it would take forever for our household to get it back, if it ever did.
I needed a drink bad, so when Vic got to the party, we stuck DeSire with Star, who had volunteered to be on kid duty for a while. We found a table, and I immediately made myself comfortable with some tequila.
“So where is the runt?” Vic’s eyes scanned the crowd as she waited for my answer.
“Over there standing next to Blood in the ...”
“Damn!” No sooner than I said those few words, Vic looked into the direction that I was pointing and spotted the runt. “He does look just like him.”
“Girl…,” was all I had the energy to say.
“Star is looking good though! Look at that hair.”
“Yeah, she bet not be doing nothing illegal to have gotten that hair.”
I rolled my eyes at Vic’s warning. “Hell, it is what it is. She works at a grocery store, so I know that crappy money was not enough to get that hair. That’s Remy in her head, and Bobbi Boss at that. You know how expensive that shit is!”
Through our laughs, Vic asked, “You and Blood don’t help her out?”
“I try to, but she won’t let me. She is so much like her mother. Besides, she’s on parole, so she really shouldn’t be around Blood that much.”
Vic nodded her head in agreement. Then we both hushed as we watched Blood walk towards us.
I groveled in disappointment. Vic laughed discreetly. I was still highly pissed off at his audacity and at the fact that, as I watched my daughter have the time of her life at a party he spent nearly ten thousand dollars on, there wasn’t much I could say without looking like an ungrateful bitch.
“What’s up, Vic?”
Blood greeted Vic and sat down at the table with a smile as if he hadn’t just fucked my whole world up. He still watched me cautiously, but he spoke so freely, like he hadn’t done a thing wrong and there wasn’t an extra child running around this bitch.
“Hey, Blood.”
Vic, being my friend, couldn’t hide her expression; which told that she knew all and had a bone to pick with him about it. Yet, as soon as she was about to say something, Star walked up to the table sweating and looking exhausted.
“Those damn kids are crazy!”
I laughed as I asked her, “Where are they?”
“They are still in that bounce house. Lucky is watching them.”
Sitting down next to me, Star bent down, smelled my cup, and then eagerly took it from me and took a sip.
Then there was tension. I looked into the air with disgust while I could feel Blood’s eyes on me. I knew there was a thousand things that Vic wanted to say to Blood but couldn’t because poor Star was sitting next to me wondering what the hell was going on.
Then Blood broke the silence. “We should all go on a trip.”
Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series) Page 88