I wasn’t trying to defy my man. I swear I wasn’t, which is why I hadn’t put myself in the position again to possibly sleep with Damion. Yes, Blood had fucked up, but being sober versus drunk and mad are two different things. I was ready to give Damion some pussy that night in the pool, but, once I was sober, I remembered how I allowed Amiel to come in-between me and Blood. I remembered how the threat of my relationship being over hurt my soul for weeks. Despite Mauri, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to walk away from Blood, so I wasn’t about to jeopardize my relationship again by fucking Damion.
Though he would try to, Blood couldn’t fault me for hanging out with an old friend from college; not when that extra baby was at the crib. Yet, I was waiting on the right time to tell Damion about Blood because I refused to find myself in the same bullshit I was in last year.
In the meantime, Damion’s sweet nothings and attention were making going home so much easier.
Speaking of going home, I was so far deep in La-La Land as I floated into the house with the most girliest grin on my face that I didn’t even notice Lucky sitting on the couch.
It was three o’clock in the morning. Blood text messaged me some hours ago letting me know that he’d landed in California. Therefore, to see Lucky’s black dreaded up ass sitting on my couch, with nothing but the light of the television on, scared the shit out of me.
I let out a squeal and screeched, “What the hell are you doing here?! You scared the shit out of me!”
He ignored my question while asking his own. “Where the hell you been? I been waitin’ on you all night so I could bounce.”
I looked at him curiously as I dropped my purse on the couch. I couldn’t believe he had been there all night. I was so happy that I decided against spending the night with Damion when he offered to let me sleep off my liquor, promising not to try to get some ass in the process.
“Why have you been here waiting on me? Isn’t Blood gone?”
“Yeah. He told me to watch Mauri until you got back.”
I was floored and it showed. My mouth dropped to the floor. “Mauri is here?!”
“Yeah.”
“And Blood is in Cali, right?”
With a satisfied grin, Lucky laughed as he stood; pulling his overly exaggerated sagging pants up along with him. “Yep.”
“That motherfucka!”
Lucky started cracking up as he realized that I was finally catching on to the fact that Blood had tricked my ass.
“This shit ain’t funny, Lucky!” I was so pissed off that I plopped down on the couch with my arms folded.
I couldn’t believe Blood had stuck me with this damn kid. Blood was going to be gone for damn near a week, so whether I liked it or not, I had to play mother to this little bastard child.
“C’mon, man. Stop actin’ like that.”
Lucky was tall- damn near 6’4”- so he stood over me looking down on me with disappointment like a giant.
“What you mean stop actin’ like that?! You know what?! I got a bone to pick with you too, because you probably knew about Mauri, didn’t you?!”
“Ssshhh,” he said with a toying smile. “Be quiet before you wake the baby.”
I swung my leg and tried to kick him, but of course he jumped out of the way.
“I don’t care about waking up that motherfucka!”
“Damn, Tricey! That’s mean as hell. I’mma killa and I don’t talk about kids like that.”
That was true. Despite hearing it for myself, I knew that since Blood’s camp had dwindled down to basically only he and Lucky, I figured that Lucky handled all of the dirty work.
I just prayed that, since there hadn’t been any drama since Devin left, there wasn’t any business that required such handling.
Lucky sat beside me and put his arm around me. “You know Blood is sorry, don’t you? I swear he didn’t know that chick was pregnant. He gave her money for an abortion because he didn’t know her like that and he was getting serious with you. He just didn’t know how to tell you about Mauri once he found out that he was here. Y’all had a lot of shit goin’ on in y’all relationship, but it was eatin’ my dude up. He wanted to tell you, but he knew it would hurt you. I swear, had shorty not been treatin’ Mauri the way she was, he would have left him there. He had to bring him here.”
“Treating him like what?”
Lucky smacked his lips as he answered, “Shorty was beatin’ the shit outta Mauri. Last two times Blood went to go see him, he had scars and bruises and shit. Taleyi’s mama told Blood that Taleyi barely fed Mauri. You know how it is when you have a keep-a-nigga-baby; when it don’t keep the nigga, you don’t want the baby no mo’.”
Nine
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
STAR
At the moment, I was sitting on the king sized bed of a junior suite at the Best Western wearing a black lace bra and thong set from Victoria’s Secret, with garters, stockings, and pumps to match as I sipped on some Remy to calm my nerves.
I was waiting on a client who was already fifteen minutes late.
Since it was a Wednesday afternoon, and I could tell through his text messages that he was younger and a lil’ hood, I couldn’t understand why he had to pay for pussy anyway.
I was all for it though. Bumping into DeShawn scared me straight. I was never doing another public show again. Doing the shows in the first place was stupid as hell. Chicago wasn’t as big as you would think. Plus, a guy like DeShawn, who sold drugs and had money, knew a lot of people. I was bound to bump into him in environments like that, but I was too busy trying to get money to even think about that.
It took me three days to stop shaking and watching my back. DeShawn could have killed me. I am sure he wanted to. Who could blame him? I had a hand in killing his best friend. Even worse, I could have gotten into some trouble that led me to violating parole and going back to prison.
I couldn’t do that to my family, not after all they went through to get me out of jail. But I wasn’t going to be broke either, so I was stuck doing private shows.
Doing private shows had led me to be able to upgrade a bit, so I was at least able to get a room at the Best Western on Cicero Avenue near the airport. The room smelled good, the sheets were obviously clean, and the parking lot wasn’t full of crack heads.
Finally, there was a knock on the door. I was so relieved. I was starting to get scared the dude wouldn’t show, causing me to lose my money on the room.
Yet, when I opened the door, the relief left my body and my anxiousness and fear returned. Looking at him, I knew why he had to pay for pussy.
He had to be at least four-hundred pounds.
He was cute, don’t get me wrong. He was high yellow with the cutest red freckles. He was about six feet and draped in diamonds and gold. He wore a few carats on two rings. He smelled good, and he looked like money.
But he was big.
Having sex with him was like being smothered. Buddy acted like he wasn’t huge; lying on top of me and putting all of his body weight on me because he was trying to get that five inch dick to reach past his stomach and into me.
I felt like I was being buried alive.
I switched positions to get his weight off of me before my chest caved in. I thought maybe if I did enough foreplay, he would cum from the oral and I could get away with not having him on top of me again. Yet, I couldn’t even stomach giving him head. When I literally had to lift his stomach to get to his dick, it took every muscle in my stomach to keep from throwing up.
When he asked me to kiss his chest, I gagged. Chest? No, more like breasts; DD’s at least.
I had gone from a class of men that couldn’t afford to get caught, so they bought pussy, to men who couldn’t get pussy, so they bought pussy.
There had to be a better way. Even in that room doing the raunchiest and most disgusting things, I started to pray and ask for a better way to feed my son without selling myself for change in degrading situations.
Tricey
; I was surprised when I heard Blood’s keys in the front door.
I was at the living room table feeding Ariana and Mauri dinner; fried chicken and spaghetti.
Blood had barely spoken to me while he was out of town, so I didn’t even know that he was on his way home. I figured that he was mad that I refused to watch Mauri. That was cool because I was still upset about him leaving Mauri.
After speaking to Lucky, it was apparent that I was going to have to raise Mauri. I wasn’t interested in leaving Blood, my condo, or my lifestyle. Blood was in and out of the house so much that Mauri would ultimately be my responsibility.
I had two children now; point black and the period.
Blood went around the table kissing all of us. He looked just as weary as he had been sounding on the phone and as nonchalant as his text messages had been.
When he went into the bedroom, I told Ariana and Mauri to be good, stay at the table, and eat their food. Then I followed Blood.
“Why didn’t you tell me that she was beating him?”
I was standing in the doorway as Blood lay across the bed still dressed, even with his shoes still on.
When he rolled over and looked me in my eyes, my heart went out to him; despite my anger with him. He looked stressed and tired. I didn’t know whether it was the business, our situation, or both that was wearing him out.
“I don’t really wanna talk about it, Tricey.”
That was typical Blood. He shut down when anything was too emotional to handle. He could handle a threat in the streets. He could handle somebody trying to kill him. Yet, he could never handle something close to his heart being torn apart.
I stayed in the doorway of the bedroom. In addition to being able to keep an eye on the kids, I didn’t want to be too close to Blood. I had accepted the fact that Mauri was there, but I refused to show Blood that I had given in.
“It would have helped me understand, though.”
Blood chuckled sarcastically. “He shouldn’t have to be abused for you to accept my son.”
His sarcasm staggered me. No matter what, he was stuck on me immediately accepting this child. I was stuck on him realizing that, because of the depth of his deception, I was not going to immediately be comfortable with this. I think Blood felt that because he had been so good to me – took good care of me, never got caught cheating on me, never had a bitch confront me – that I should still trust him. What he didn’t realize was that he had been so intricate in this lie that the possibility of past and future lies was endless. Therefore that trust and bond had been shattered.
I sighed, shook my head, and returned to the table with the kids without saying another word to Blood.
True enough, I had done and was doing my dirt, but I respected him enough to do whatever the fuck I had to do to keep it out of our home.
He didn’t get that, and I was through trying to make him get it. Trust is like a mirror; once its broken, you can glue it back together, but you can still see the cracks in that motherfucker's reflection.
Victoria
Greg and I were sitting in the middle of the floor of my living room Indian style. I had on a cami and shorts. He only wore a pair of basketball shorts and socks.
It was ninety degrees at eight o’clock at night. Though the air conditioner was on, it was still hot as hell in the house.
There was a gallon of Don Julio sitting beside us and two shot glasses.
“So what are we playing?”
When Greg came over, he said that he just wanted to chill and relax with me. He wanted to play a game, which I thought was odd, but I was up for a good game of Spades or something.
“Truth.”
With a flirtatious smile, I replied, “Oh, you wanna play truth or dare?”
“No,” he answered staring me in my eyes. “Just truth. I ask you a question, you answer or take a shot, and vice versa.”
The look in his eyes told me that, though this was a game, he wasn’t playing. There was a determination and seriousness in his face that I had never seen in the past year.
I was nervous as I answered, “Sure.”.
Greg and I had spent a lot of time together, but it was very insignificant time; clubbing, partying, and fucking. It was never intimate or time that we spent getting to know one another, so I feared what he would ask me.
“Ah ight. You go first,” he instructed.
I started the game off with light and fun questions; nothing too serious and that was along the lines of our casual relationship.
“Have you ever been to jail?”
I was shocked when he quickly answered, “Yes.”
“What did you do?!”
“Nope, it’s not your turn. It’s my turn,” he answered smiling. Then he thought for a few seconds. “Have you ever had a threesome?”
“Hell no,” I shot by quickly. “Now, my turn. Why were you in jail?”
Without a thought, he made himself a shot with a chuckle. I decided not to force the issue. I was scared to know the answer to that my damn self.
We went on like that for about twenty minutes; asking curious questions about one another that we have always wanted to know; some I answered, some I didn’t, some he answered, and some he didn’t.
“Do you want more kids?”
I grabbed the shot glass. He laughed as he replied, “Damn, it’s like that?”
“Hey, I’m not sure, so I will just take the shot.”
We giggled uncontrollably and it was plainly obvious that we were both a little tipsy by now.
With a flirty pinch on my thigh, he said, “It’s your turn.”
“How many women are you sleeping with right now?”
Instantly, his laughter ceased. Initially, I saw that he was shocked at how suddenly direct I was. Then he looked me straight in the eyes and answered, “Just you.”
His sincerity sent a chill through me that I had to shake off. “You lie.”
“I swear. We’re playing truth. I can’t lie.”
I still looked at him questionably as he took his turn. “Why haven’t you mentioned anything about us being in a committed relationship?”
“Because you haven’t.”
He looked at me curiously, like my nonchalant attitude towards commitment was like no other women he’d met before. “You don’t want to be in a relationship?”
“It’s my turn,” I told him happily. I was happy to get the spotlight off of me. “Why aren’t you sleeping with anyone else?”
Again, he was secure and sexually mannish as he replied, “Because I’m good. I’m happy where I am.”
Greg’s assurance scared the shit out of me and gave me an anxious and uneasy feeling that I wanted to immediately go away. It had been so long since I felt intimidation or vulnerability around a man. Greg was making me feel emotions that I had buried away for good reason.
“How many men are you sleeping with?”
“It’s my turn.”
“I’m changing the rules.”
“That’s not…”
He cut me off. “How many men are you sleeping with, Vic?”
I felt so defeated because he was forcing me to let my guard down when I didn’t want to.
“Just you,” I answered with a sigh.
“Then why aren’t we together?”
“That’s not fair! That’s two questions in a row!” I laughed, attempting to ease the tension that was suddenly between us.
With a hand on my thigh, he ignored my foolery attempts and gave me passion and attentiveness. “Vic, if we’re only sleeping with each other, why aren’t we committed to each other?”
When nothing in my being would allow me to answer, I realized that I was without love, that I wasn’t married, and that I wasn’t in a committed relationship at no one’s fault but my own. I was difficult to love and difficult to receive love. I realized that, as this gorgeous chocolate man looked me in my eyes, begging for substance and significance that I hadn’t given him after a year.
With no wo
rds, I reached for the shot glass. As I took the shot, the look on his face gave me the guilt of being the first woman that broke his heart.
Tricey
I met Damion at yet another ball player’s birthday party.
Vic was supposed to come with me, but on my way to the club, she called and canceled because Greg was coming over.
Being alone at a club downtown with Damion was pushing it. At a cigar shop or some upscale lounge was different, since Blood and his people rarely attended such bougie establishments. But this club was a spot that I had even heard Lucky talk about.
Luckily, Damion and his teammates were on the second level of the club in a closed off VIP section. The private party in VIP was also invite only, so the only people there who weren’t players were their dates.
I came out with the intentions of telling Damion face to face about Blood before he took things too seriously. We were having fun and hanging out like old friends, but I didn’t want a repeat of the Amiel incident.
At about one o’clock in the morning, when the liquor was starting to take effect and everybody was dancing, I took Damion by the hand and sat on the couch in the corner of the VIP section next to the picture window.
I could see the long line of patrons trying their best to get in the club, even though it was closing in an hour.
“You look nice,” Damion told me with a smile.
He smiled down on my skinny jeans, Louboutin pointed-toe five inch heels, Jimmy Choo bag, and tank. I was a lot more casual than I usually am when I go out.
“Thank you. You don’t look too bad either.”
He was dressed pretty casual as well; cargo shorts, white tee, and Gucci low top sneakers. A hundred thousand dollars of diamonds hung around his neck. His exotic eyes were breathtaking. His smile was hypnotizing.
Damn, he was fine.
With a deep breath, I began my confession. “So, I wanted to tell you something…”
He looked at me attentively. His arm was around me and his face was close to mine. His lips were so close to my face that it would have taken little effort to suck them.
Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series) Page 92