by Dani Criss
“Katie—”
“This was not your responsibility.” She punched him in the chest with her index finger, touched at his concern and exasperated with it, as well. “Your job was to install the system, and once that was done, your job was over.”
“So when that alarm went off this morning, I should have ignored it?”
“You should have let your people handle it. Without you. They would have assumed, and rightly so, that I left the house in such a hurry I forgot about the procedure.”
“And when they reported it to me, as they’re supposed to do with incidents like this? What should I have done then? I can’t turn off my caring just like that.” He snapped his fingers.
“You’re not supposed to care, Jake. Our relationship is a businessman-client one. No more.”
She was serious, Jake realized, running a hand over the back of his neck. He’d just spent fourteen of the worst hours of his life and she was telling him he had no right to the feelings that had torn him up inside. It just didn’t work that way with him. Never had. Never would. Maybe it was time to stop trying to talk to her and show her what he felt, instead.
He pulled her into his arms and lowered his mouth to hers. She stiffened. Her mouth opened on a protest, but he merely took full advantage of her surprise to slide his tongue inside. He sampled her sweetness, savoring the tastes and textures, assuring himself that she was alive and whole. He shouldn’t be handling things this way, but right now it was the only way he could let her know just what her absence had meant to him.
He’d thought he had lost her, but pressing her body to his, he realized he was the one who was lost. She was telling him he shouldn’t care, but it was far too late for that. He wanted her. Needed her. The feeling went all the way to his soul and there wasn’t a damned thing either one of them could do about it.
The kiss was rough and in it Kaitlyn could feel his desperation. In a very short time her resistance slipped away. As his hand wound through the strands of her hair, angling her head so he could deepen the kiss, she gave up the struggle. She tasted all the anguish he’d endured today and she couldn’t deny him. Couldn’t deny herself.
She wanted this. Had longed to feel his arms around her all through this long and difficult day, though she’d refused to admit it even to herself. Her breath snagged when he caressed her nape. His other hand slid lower to crush her hip to his and her heartbeat quickened. The soft voice of reason was drowned out by the strength of desire, the need to give comfort, to experience all his passion.
Her breasts were pressed against his hard chest. His breath was warm, his arms around her were strong and his mouth had gentled. She moaned softly and his embrace tightened. She ran her hand through his thick hair, loving the feel of it.
She sagged against him, let him press her body to the length of his. His hand traveled so slowly to the base of her spine. His hardness pushed against her and she felt a low, burning need flare to life within her. She’d wanted him before, but never like this. His heat enveloped her. He cupped her breast in his large hand and the sensations ricocheted through her. Her head spun; her heart raced frantically.
She remembered this all so well and yet she might have been experiencing it for the first time, the sensations were so sharp. But how often had she been in this position before? She’d paid a very dear price for giving in to the longings he could bring to life so easily.
She could never resist his passion, withstand her own need for him. And he knew that. Was he using it against her?
She made herself think of her mother lying, desolate and possibly dying, in that hospital bed, then she imagined herself in that very position. She pushed at Jake’s hard, unyielding chest with all her strength. He finally allowed her to break the kiss.
His breathing was ragged. His eyes as he looked down at her were still dark with the strength of his desire for her.
“Now tell me that you don’t care that I went through hell today,” he demanded with a growl. “Tell me that it doesn’t matter to you.”
“It matters,” she said. “But I will not let you manipulate me this way again.”
Jake scowled. “This wasn’t manipulation—”
“Wasn’t it?” she countered. “This was the one area in which you could get me under your thumb and you still can. You can make me needy, clingy, mindless to the point that I’ll let you do my thinking for me.”
“That’s not...” What could he say to make her understand? “I wanted you to know how I feel, to make you understand why it tore me up to think you might be in danger.”
“And I do,” she said quietly. “But next you’re going to ask me to check with you whenever I want to leave the house. To let you know every move I make.”
He didn’t answer. But he didn’t have to. She was on target and she knew it.
“Katie, I...” He needed to know she was all right, safe, unharmed, every minute of the day. She needed room to breathe, to be free from restraints. There was no compromise. But there was passion and caring and he couldn’t ignore either.
The ring of the telephone interrupted him, but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t find the words he needed to say. He stepped aside and allowed her to get the phone.
“Hello,” she said, her voice surprisingly shaky when it had been so strong and confident only a moment ago.
Jake frowned. She listened to the voice on the other end of the line and he saw the color drain slowly from her face. Fallon? he wondered, half-ready to grab the phone out of her hand, but her grip on it was white-knuckled.
“Yes, do what you have to do,” she said. “I’m on my way back there right now.”
She hung up the phone, took a glance around the kitchen. spotted her purse and snatched it up. Thankfully she didn’t make him ask the questions that were spinning through his mind.
“That’s the hospital,” she told him, pausing to look at him as she headed for the garage. “My mother. They’ve called a code blue on her.”
Chapter 8
Jake couldn’t miss the sadness and worry in her face and longed to go with her. To be there for her. But she would turn him down, he knew, so he didn’t ask. He just let her go.
Once he’d heard her pull out of the garage, he leaned back against the counter and replayed their conversation in his mind. Her message had been loud and clear. They didn’t have a relationship. She was the client and he was providing a service. That was all, according to her words.
But her response to his kiss told another story. She wanted him, needed him, as much as he wanted and needed her. Physically. Emotionally, though she refused to get involved, refused to let him in. Or rather, she refused to admit that she still had feelings for him.
She cared, all right. Last night when those cops had arrested him, she’d been concerned for him, not for herself and what Fallon could have done to her. Then Jake had told her about Candy and she’d felt the pain he went through each time he thought about his part in that incident. She’d tried to do what she could to ease that pain. For him.
He hadn’t been very appreciative at the time, but lying awake in bed last night, he’d thought about her actions and her motives. Regardless of what she said about their relationship being business only, she still had feelings for him.
And he still cared for her. Cared that she was in some hospital, worried whether her mother would pull through, and she was going through it alone. He couldn’t bear that.
He remembered how close she and her mother were, how much Kaitlyn had worried about her. He could picture Katie, pacing relentlessly, biting her bottom lip the way she did when she was very upset. He thought about the food on the counter behind him and knew she hadn’t eaten all day. She needed someone to take care of her.
He pushed away from the counter. To hell with where she said his responsibilities began and ended. He couldn’t take this wondering what she was going through. Couldn’t stand knowing she was alone. His actions would undoubtedly earn him another lecture, but he couldn�
�t turn off his concern.
He picked up the phone and dialed a friend at the ambulance company. “Mick, you got a call, probably from Overland Park, just before 5 a.m. A woman in her fifties, Gloria Adams. I don’t know the address....”
It took a few moments for Mick to check the records and find the information. “Here she is. Apparent attempted suicide.”
Suicide? Katie had to be frantic with worry. No wonder she hadn’t given the alarm a thought.
“Where did you transport to?” he asked his friend.
“Shawnee Mission Hospital.”
Jake took a deep breath, thought once more about doing this Katie’s way, then decided he couldn’t. If she were going to the movies or out to dinner with a friend, that would be one thing. But sitting in a hospital, not knowing if a loved one would make it through the night, that was another. He’d been through that. It was something she shouldn’t go through alone.
Kaitlyn stood beside her mother’s bed, fighting back her tears. The doctor said they’d stabilized her mother’s heartbeat. The machine mounted over the bed beeped a steady, even rhythm. But they’d been very emphatic that the patient wasn’t out of the woods yet.
Gloria Adams was extremely pale. Her thin body was full of tubes and needles, fluids going in and out. She’d undergone the kidney dialysis, then her blood pressure had dropped dramatically and they’d almost lost her. Could lose her still.
“Hey, Mom,” she said softly as she held the older woman’s hand. “You’ve got to pull through this. There’s so much I want to do with you. Remember you’re going to Hawaii with me in the fall? We’ve already made the reservations and everything. You wanted a real muumuu and a lei with real flowers. We were going to sit on the beach and watch the sunset from a boat.”
Of course there was no response. Not even the flutter of an eyelid. Kaitlyn sighed deeply, then tried again. She had no idea how long the nurses had let her stay there, talking soft words of encouragement to her mother, but when they finally came in to take vital signs and draw blood, her legs ached from standing in one place.
“Why don’t you get something from one of the vending machines?” one of the nurses suggested. “We’ll call you if there’s any change at all.”
With a slight nod and one last glance at her mother, Kaitlyn walked out of the room. Would she ever hear her mother’s voice again? Ever hear her laugh, see her smile even a little? Her mother had gone through a lot in her fifty-two years, but she’d never been able to hold it together for long.
Kaitlyn pushed through the door of the ICU and walked across the hall to the waiting room. She had the place to herself at the moment, except for one large-framed man standing with his back to her. There was something very familiar about the width of his shoulders, his height, the dark brown of his uncombed hair. Then he turned and her breath caught.
It was all she could do to keep from going to him, keep from rushing into his arms. She made herself stand her ground, knowing she had to. The risks of leading with her emotions were too great, the stakes too high.
But how she wanted to feel his arms around her, holding her, comforting her, reassuring her. How she wanted to lean into his strength. She knew she had to be strong.
She should be angry with him for being here. Yet when she looked at his unshaven face and saw the concern there, all she could summon was gratitude. Fatigue lined the corners of his wonderful mouth and dark eyes. His wrinkled suit slacks and shirt were the same ones he’d put on Saturday morning.
She shook her head. “You should be home catching up on all the sleep you’ve missed,” she said quietly.
“I wouldn’t be able to sleep, knowing you were up here, worried about your mother.”
She crossed over to where he stood, took his hand in hers and tugged until he sat in the chair next to her. “Jake, we can’t go through this a second time. We still wouldn’t be able to make it work. You know that.”
He nodded. “I told myself that same thing on the way over here. I’m just borrowing trouble. But, Katie, I can’t deal with that now. Later, when your mother’s doing better... We’ll sort all this out then.”
She sat back in the chair and sighed heavily. “I’m not sure she wants to make it.”
Jake covered both her hands with his and squeezed gently. She looked up at him, tears filling her eyes.
“Thank you for coming,” she whispered as one tear trickled down her cheek.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, letting her cry against his shirtfront. Later she would be strong, would call up her resolve and would walk away from this temptation and danger he represented. But for now, it felt so good to be held by him. She needed his support, the comfort he offered so generously. She needed a shoulder to cry on and his was wide enough and strong enough to handle all her troubles.
So she wouldn’t think about the future right now. She would simply take what he gave her, what she needed. When her sobs abated, he pulled out a handkerchief and gave it to her. Other family members in the waiting room, needing to do something to help their loved ones, tried over and over to press them to eat or drink. Once Jake would have done the same with her. This time, though, he just held her, as if sensing that was what she most needed.
“I should send you home,” she said sometime before dawn. “You haven’t had any sleep in so long.”
“Do you want me to leave?” he asked, his chin on the top of her head as she leaned against his chest.
She sighed, knowing the wise thing to say, then just said what she wanted to. “No. I don’t want you to go.”
She felt him let out the breath he’d been holding and his arms tightened around her. She’d been like this for hours, taking strength and comfort from him. Later she would have to deal with some serious fallout, but each time that thought crept into her mind, she shoved it aside.
“Miss Adams,” a woman called from the doorway.
Kaitlyn raised her head and braced herself, expecting the worst. Then she noted the nurse smiled slightly.
“Your mother is awake,” she said. “Would you like to see her?”
Kaitlyn looked to Jake, her heart pounding furiously. After the hours of worry she could hardly believe her ears. Jake gave her a nudge to her feet.
“Go ahead,” he told her. “I’ll be here when you get back.”
Kaitlyn realized she didn’t want to leave him behind. He’d been with her through the worst. She wanted him by her side for this, too. She grasped his hand. “Come with me.”
Surprised and pleased, Jake got up and followed her into the intensive care unit. He hadn’t expected her to accept his comfort, to let him stay with her, but she had. He hadn’t expected her to cry, to let him hold her. He didn’t think she would even lean on him. It felt so wonderful, so perfect. The day of reckoning would come soon enough, but for now he wouldn’t think of that.
The nurse led them back to a corner room, peeked inside to let the patient know she had visitors, then quietly left the three of them alone. Kaitlyn’s mother lay on the bed, eyes closed, her mouth drawn in a tight, thin line.
“Mom,” Katie said softly as she leaned over the bed.
“You should have left me,” Gloria Adams whispered, her voice hoarse from the recently removed breathing tube. “You shouldn’t have brought me here.”
“But, Mom,” Katie said, a note of desperation in her voice. “You called me. You didn’t really want to do this.... It’s the depression....”
Her mother didn’t answer. Katie sighed and turned to Jake. He gave her a nod of encouragement.
“Mom,” she said. “Jake is here with me. You remember Jake?”
Slowly Mrs. Adams opened her eyes and looked at her daughter. Katie inclined her head toward Jake, standing at the foot of the bed. He walked over to stand beside Katie so her mother could see him. She stared at him for a long moment, then turned back to her daughter.
“Jake Riley?”
Kaitlyn nodded. “Remember Shelly?” she as
ked her mother, trying very hard to sound cheerful and upbeat. “Turns out her fiancé and Jake are good friends. Jake’s going to be the best man at the wedding.”
“I always thought you two would be married,” she said, her voice slightly sad.
“No,” Katie said gently, “but I think we might manage being friends.” She glanced at Jake for confirmation.
“Definitely.” He smiled at her, thinking that wasn’t enough, but it would be a start. “When you get out of here,” he told Mrs. Adams, “I’ll cook you and Katie the best meal you’ve ever had.”
Katie squeezed his hand in silent thanks. “If the last meal he cooked for me is anything to go by, we’re in for a real treat, Mom.”
Katie did most of the talking, working hard to cheer her mother up and give her something, anything, to look forward to. Jake listened, added encouragement whenever he could. Then soon the nurse came in and suggested they let the patient rest.
“You and Jake look as if you’ve been up for days,” Mrs. Adams told them. “Have you been here with Kaitlyn all this time?” she asked Jake.
He was about to shake his head, but Katie answered for him. “He’s been here ever since he found out,” she said. “He was worried about you.”
Her mother nodded slightly. “If anything, he was more worried about you, dear,” she told her daughter, then turned to him. “Maybe you’ll come back. And maybe you’ll look after my Kaitlyn....”
Katie gave her a wry smile. “That’s Jake’s specialty.” She leaned down and kissed her mother’s cheek. “We’ll see you later today.”
She took Jake’s arm and together they walked back out of ICU. In the hall, she paused to take her first really deep breath.
“She’s going to be all right,” she said, as if still trying to convince herself of that.
“They’ll treat the depression,” Jake said, steering her toward the elevators. “The medication will help stabilize her and the doctors will watch her. And you’ll be there to keep an eye on her.”