For a moment she looked like she wouldn’t help me. She didn’t know I was willing to beg and plead to find out about Colin. “Please. You have no idea what he means to me.”
She watched me for a moment and nodded. “I’ll see what I can find out. Can you give me his name?”
“Sgt. Maj. Colin Dunham.”
She covered my hand on her arm and squeezed. “I’ll be back.”
“Thank you.”
A few moments later she left the room. Hopefully she’d come back with information on Colin. The pain meds were making it harder to keep a rein on my emotions. Memories of the way he’d looked, attached to all the machines, kept flashing through my mind.
I was completely exhausted, but I refused to sleep until I knew what had happened to Colin. A few minutes later the door opened. I sat up a little straighter. In walked in Cpt. Fisher. My chest deflated, but I needed to hear what he had to say about my recovery.
Would I be going home?
For how long?
How much time would be left on my tour?
“We were able to repair all the damage from the bullet. The fracture was worse than we thought. We had to use pins to keep the bones together. It will increase your physical therapy time. You’ll stay here for a few days to monitor you and, afterward, we’ll send you back to the states to finish recovery and complete a round of physical therapy.”
“Will I be able to return to my unit?”
He nodded. “As long as your recovery stays on track, you should be able to return to your unit while they are still deployed. With the right rehabilitation, you’ll have full use of your arm and shoulder again.”
“Thank you, sir.” I couldn’t keep the hint of despair out of my voice.
“Is something wrong, Brant?”
Afraid to show my feelings to a superior, I schooled my features. “I’m worried about one of the men brought here with me. He sustained a leg injury when our helicopter was hit. He was also shot in the chest.”
He frowned and for a moment, I was afraid he was going to tell me that Colin was dead. “He was wounded when you were?”
“Yes, sir. I got hit when I knocked him to the ground. He had been trying to stand on one leg to help defend our position.”
He nodded grimly. “Let me see what I can find out for you.”
‘Thank you.”
“I used to be a field medic. I know what it’s like to form those kinds of bonds.”
That wasn’t exactly the kind of bond I had with Colin, but there was no way in hell I was mentioning that—especially, if he could get me the information I needed.
After a few hours of being alone with my thoughts, the door opened once again revealing Cpl. West.
“Capt. Fisher sent me to tell you that Sgt. Maj. Dunham pulled through surgery. He’s still in ICU, but when they move him to his own room I can wheel you down for a visit.”
I sucked in a deep breath, the first I’d taken in hours, and there was no stopping the tears as they pooled in my eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered.
Colin had a fighting chance. Someone had been looking out for us. The wait to see him would seem like forever, but knowing he was okay made it worth the wait.
What I hadn’t expected was for the wait to be three days.
I was being sent home on a flight the next day and I had yet to see Colin. Cpl. West continued to bring me updates, which I appreciated more than she could ever understand. I had a feeling she’d figured out there was more to the story than us simply being comrades in arms.
Apparently the damage to his leg was more significant than I’d initially thought. The time we had to wait for the backup had allowed an infection to set in and they’d had to take him back into surgery to do more work on the damage.
That was two days ago.
Cpl. West came in at her normal time to check my splint and bandages. “Do you think you’re up for a ride out of this room?”
“I guess,” I shrugged with my good shoulder.
“Really? I thought you’d be excited to see what I have to show you.”
My head snapped around to look at her. “I can see him.”
She nodded. “You can. He was brought to his room a few hours ago.”
“Then, yes, I’m ready whenever you are.” My body vibrated with excitement.
She laughed. “Let me finish replacing the dressing and then we’ll go.”
I could barely hold still. It wasn’t like what I would see was going to be good, I just knew if I could touch him it would make knowing that he would be okay more real. She finally finished and helped me out of bed and into the wheel chair. We took the elevator up two floors. The entire time I tapped my fingers nervously against my leg.
She stopped outside a door down a long hallway. “I want to warn you before I open the door, what’s in there may be hard for you to see.”
I nodded. “I understand.”
I braced myself for the worst, and then the door opened and I knew that I had not been even close to prepared for the sight that greeted me.
I gasped as I was wheeled toward the bed.
“Oh, Colin,” I whispered.
There were now two machines helping him to breath. Cpl. West explained there was one for each lung, to help the damaged one heal quicker. His leg was elevated in a sling. The most disturbing part was the ashen pallor of his skin. There was no doubt the man had been through hell. The chair was pushed close enough to the bed that I was able to wrap his hand in mine.
“I’ll leave you alone. If you need me, I’ll be right outside.”
I gave the most imperceptible of nods, unable to break my gaze from Colin’s still form. It was my only chance to see him and I didn’t know what to say. Words seemed so trivial in the moment. Things like “you can do it” or “you’ll be better soon” did not fit the situation. I wanted something to make him want to fight. After a bit, I leaned over to whisper in his ear.
“Please come back to me, Colin. I think I’m falling for you. I’m not sure what I’ll do if you leave me.”
Tears spilled down my cheeks. I made no effort to stop them. I didn’t want to. Time passed in an instant and soon I was being wheeled back to my room to get some rest before my flight home.
That night I cried myself to sleep, hoping that when he got sent back to the States I’d be able to see him again.
Chapter 13
Colin
Pain like I’d never imagined seared through my leg, the fiery burn running from my thigh to my toes. Another ache just as excruciating throbbed in my chest. It was a toss-up as to which of the two was worse. Forcing my eyes open, I blinked against the blinding light, white walls and machines the only things in my line of vision. I tried to sit up but the heavy weight around my leg made it too difficult. My lips felt dry, my mouth like cotton. I tried to take a breath but there was a tube was down my throat.
Fuck.
“Colin,” a soft voice said next to me.
I tried to turn my head but the tube prevented any movement.
A familiar face appeared in my line of sight.
Mom.
What was she doing there? I reached up to pull on the tube. It had to go. Mom’s hands wrapped around mine and held them tight, away from all the equipment.
“I’m so happy to see you awake. Dad went back to the hotel to get some rest. After the first two weeks we started taking turns watching over you. We didn’t want to leave you alone.”
What did she mean after the first two weeks?
My nostrils flared and my heart raced. The beeps on the machine next to my head increased in pace the more freaked out I got.
What the fuck happened?
The last thing I remembered was getting on the chopper to head farther into the mountains.
The door next to my bed opened and into the room came a doctor and a few nurses.
“Sgt. Maj. Dunham, it’s good to see you awake,” the doctor said. “I know you’re probably confused, but we need you to calm down
so we can get your heart rate to slow. Can you do that for me?”
Was he kidding? I wasn’t a fucking child. The machine beeped even faster. Mom stepped back out of their way, tears streaming down her face.
“Sergeant, please,” the nurse begged. “Calm down, I don’t want to have to sedate you.”
“Colin, please,” Mom cried.
The doctor continued. “I’ll explain everything once we get your heart rate down to normal.”
His eyes darted back and forth between me and the monitor. One of the nurses darted over to the IV attached to my arm, ready to inject whatever medication she had in the syringe. On top of it all, seeing my mom so upset killed me. Fisting my hands into the sheets, I did my best to calm the panic flooding my system. Something wasn’t right. The way their eyes bounced around the room, the panic I saw there—that told me I wouldn’t like what they had to say.
I watched the nurse with the syringe, concentrating on the second hand that spun around and around on her fob watch. I needed to focus on something. Something that wasn’t why I had a tube down my throat and why they were all staring at me.
Eventually the beeping slowed and there was a collective sigh throughout the room. I may have managed to control my panic, but my brain was still in overdrive, racing through all the possibilities as to what could have happened. If I didn’t get the tube out of my throat soon, I wasn’t sure how long I could hold onto my cool. Pleading with my eyes, I looked at the nurse closest to my bed, then over to the machine the tube was attached to and back. She nodded, understanding.
Bending over me, she reached down and removed the tape
“Sergeant, I’m going to remove the tube. I need you to take a deep breath and cough.”
I sucked in a full breath of air and forced it back out with a cough. The long tube pulling from my throat was more irritating than I expected it to be. I’d had Strep Throat once before as a kid, and the pain was at least twice that. Swallowing was going to be an issue.
The nurse placed her hands on my shoulders, keeping me from sitting up. I had to know what happened and sitting up and talking to the doctors was the only way that was going to happen. “Hold still for a moment. It’s been a while since you sat up on your own.”
How long have I been here?
The beeping next me began to increase in pace once again and the doctor stepped into my line of vision. “I know you’re frustrated and we’ll explain everything in due course. We just need to complete a quick examination. Can you give us that?”
I nodded, afraid to speak before I drank some water, unsure of how much it would hurt or whether I was even allowed to. The doctor and nurses continued checking my vitals. My stomach fluttered. Something wasn’t right. I wasn’t the type of person who got butterflies. For me to be feeling this nervous, things had to be pretty bad. My gaze focused on the ceiling. Until they let me up, I couldn’t take stock of the damages but the pain itself was a red flag.
“All right, sergeant, I’m going to lift the back of the bed to help you. If I go too fast let me know. I can give you time to adjust.”
I nodded again and the bed began to move. I braced myself for any pain I might feel and, sure enough, my leg began to throb almost instantly. But there was no way I would say anything. I needed to know. It was the only way I could work toward getting myself the hell out of here. The pain in my chest increased and my eyes returned to the nurse’s fob watch.
Keep calm.
The bed finally stopped moving. I ignored everyone standing around the bed and took stock of my injuries.
My leg sat about five inches off the bed, wrapped in a sling suspended from the ceiling. There were IVs and wires attached to my arms and chest. I wore nothing over my chest, revealing bandages covering the middle of my chest.
The people surrounding my bed backed up and busied themselves with disconnecting the breathing machine. Mom took my hand in hers. Finally, I got a good look at her. There were dark circles lining her eyes, creases in her forehead.
“You have no idea how happy I am right now.” Her smile pushed through the sadness in her eyes.
A cup appeared out of nowhere.
“Here’s a few ice chips to start off,” one of the nurses said.
Grateful, I attempted to take the cup from her but my hands shook so badly I wasn’t able to hold it.
“I’ll hold it.” Mom took the cup from the nurse.
She lifted one ice chip to my lips. The cool sensation across my dry, cracked lips was a welcome distraction from everything else in the room at the moment. I let the piece slip into my mouth, enjoying the relief on my throat. After a few more I was ready to ask some of the questions bouncing around my brain.
“What happened?” My voice sounded alien, coming out as more of a croak. With how raw my throat was, it shouldn’t have been such a surprise.
My mom looked at me, her brows drawn low over her eyes. “You don’t remember?” Searching my brain for clues, I drew a blank. “No,” I whispered, trying to save what little voice I had.
“Your helicopter was hit out of the air. The pilot was able to land, but not before the metal from the damaged hull embedded itself in your leg.” The doctor flipped through the chart in his hands. His gaze focused on the words on the page.
Mom’s gaze remained steadfast as she waited for a reaction, but her eyes never connected with mine, staying focused on my nose or forehead. The doctor seemed so calm compared to everyone else in the room.
Joey.
An image floated through my head.
Joey had landed the craft. She’d stayed with me while the rest of my men completed the mission. I remembered being in the shell of the helicopter. The insurgents. Joey diving in front of me almost at the same moment a burning agony exploded in my chest.
“What happened to Joey?”
“Joey?” Mom’s tone was curious.
They looked at me with blank faces. They had no clue who I was talking about. I took a deep breath and tried to remember Joey’s surname. A pain shot through my head.
“Brant. Joey Brant. How is she?”
For the first time since I woke up, I was no longer worried about me. All of my focus was now on Joey and whether or not she was okay.
A blonde nurse stepped up to the bed. “Sgt. Brant was here the first two days after you were brought down from ICU. After that she was sent back to the States to finish her recovery.”
“She’s okay?” I forced out.
She nodded. “She was lucky. A broken clavicle, but she’ll make a full recovery.”
A bit of the tension leaked from my body. I’d feel better if I could talk to her, see her. But I couldn’t because she was there and I was here. Which meant it was time to focus on getting myself out of here.
“What now?”
Even as the words left my lips, exhaustion consumed me. My body was weak. Whether it was the drugs or the injuries, I didn’t know, but even simple conversation was taxing. Frustration like no other hit me. My mind wanted a plan, a way to get me out of that place, but the rest of me was simply not on board.
The doctor spoke up. “For now, you lie down and get some sleep. We can discuss your options when you’ve had more rest.”
“Sleep,” Mom whispered. “I’ll call Dad and we’ll be here when you wake up.”
I almost said that I’d had plenty of rest and for him to tell me everything, but that was futile. We’d have to have the conversation again when I was more coherent. I nodded and let the nurse lower the bed slightly.
“I’ll be back in to check on you,” the nurse said.
No sooner had the words left her lips than my eyes slid closed, the exhaustion too much to fight.
***
The next time I opened my eyes the sun was up and the room had been cleared of many of the machines I’d seen when I first woke up. Dad was staring out the window. Mom was nowhere to be seen. Before anyone noticed I was awake, I needed to figure out exactly how bad my leg was. My fingers traced over
the bandages and there was a slight tingling that seemed to spread from my toes upward through the rest of my leg, almost as if I’d sat on it too long, and it had fallen asleep. Except these pins and needles weren’t simply an annoyance. They were more like sharp jagged points stabbing into my leg. The piece of metal in my leg had been massive. I remembered forcing the pain aside to keep Joey from worrying about me but it got worse with each hour we sat there and waited.
The pain in my chest, on the other hand, was more of a burning sensation, focused around one specific point. It was in the same position on my front as it was on my back. How much damage the bullet caused, I couldn’t be sure. Knowing I couldn’t avoid my parents any longer, I used the button on the side of the bed to lift myself up. The first noise from the bed and my dad spun around to face me.
“Colin. Thank God.” The relief in his voice was palpable.
“Dad.” My throat was still tender, but my voice came out much clearer than before.
For the first time in my life, I watched my dad, my rock, begin to cry. Without a word, I reached a hand out to him. He took it and squeezed.
“I didn’t think I’d ever been as relieved as when your mom called yesterday and said you were awake, but seeing your eyes open for myself . . . surpasses that by miles.”
“I’m awake and alive.” I tried to smile, but the ache in my leg had been growing each moment since I woke up and I knew it would come out more as a grimace.
He glanced at my leg and back at me. “All I care about is the fact that you’re alive.”
I looked around the room to make sure Mom wasn’t there. Dad had never lied to me and I was pretty sure my mom wouldn’t want to hear this conversation. “How bad is it? My leg hurts like fucking hell and the doctors wouldn’t have freaked out like they did yesterday if it wasn’t pretty bad.”
Dad avoided my gaze. “I think the doctors should explain that to you.”
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