by Dena Christy
“I am falling in love with him, and it scares me to death. What I feel for him is so intense, and unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. But it’s all happening so fast. I haven’t known him for that long, and there is still so much I don’t know about him.”
That was the crux of her problem. It was all happening a lot faster than she thought it would. She had a history of jumping into relationships without caution and paying for it later when the man she was with turned out to be not who she’d thought he was in the beginning. Kevin had been the worst example of this, but not the only one.
“If I thought there was the remotest chance that Andor was like Kevin or any of the other men you’ve dated, I would tell you to get the hell out of that house and get away from him. But I don’t think he is. From the moment you met him, he has done nothing but help and protect you. At the fair, when he didn’t know you and had no reason to involve himself, he defended you against Kevin. He’s an honorable man, and I think deep down, under all the doubt and fear, you know that.”
Lyssa took a sip of her water to take the dryness from her mouth. Portia was right, Andor had done nothing that would cause her to doubt him. From the moment she latched onto him at the fair, he’d done everything he could to protect her and keep her safe, and he’d asked for nothing in return. When he offered his home to her after Kevin had broke in, he could have pushed himself on her physically and demanded that she barter her sexuality in return for safety. But he hadn’t. He’d asked her for nothing that she wasn’t willing to give to him freely.
“I’m being stupid, aren’t I?” Lyssa set her glass aside as she gave Portia a self depreciating smile.
“No, I don’t think your being stupid.” Portia gave a little laugh as she signaled the waitress for the bill. “I think you’re scared. There is nothing thats says you have to rush into a commitment with him today. Enjoy being with him, and stop throwing up roadblocks. If it bothers you that much, ask him again where he goes every day. If he brushes you off, keep asking until he tells you.”
Trust Portia to get to the heart of the matter. With her friend’s words of wisdom ringing in her ears a calm settled over her. She would ask him once more where he went, and would shove the doubts away when he gave her his answer.
Once the bill had been paid, she and Portia left the restaurant. Lyssa said goodbye to her friend and walked to her car. She was glad that she’d gone to lunch with her, but it had given her a lot to think about. She unlocked her car door and looked up as she opened the door. Across the street, a bald man with tattoos covering his arms stared at her and a shiver chased up her spine. She was sure she didn’t know him, but why would he be watching her?
She hurriedly got into her car, and set her purse in the passenger seat. She inserted the key in the ignition and started the engine. Although she did not want to check, she looked up and he was gone, as if he’d never been there. She rolled her eyes as she pulled out of her parking spot. She really needed to stop jumping at shadows.
Andor paced in his study as he waited for Lyssa to return from her lunch date. The dragon inside him was restless when she was out of his sight, and when she’d mentioned that she was going out, a war had taken place inside himself. He wanted her to have the freedom to come and go from this house. She’d already dealt with a man whose possessiveness had taken a dark turn, she did not need to do so again. He knew that she would return to him, and he would not give her any reason to fear him. The dragon inside him wanted his mate at his side at all times. It was in his nature to guard his treasures, and she was the more precious to him than any jewel.
He sighed as he walked out into the foyer and looked out the window. Her car pulled into the driveway and his breath eased out of his chest. She was home, safe and whole, and the beast inside him calmed at the sight of her.
He turned away and walked to the kitchen. He retrieved a drink from the fridge and sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. It would not do for her to find him pacing by the front door like a caged animal, as if she was not to be trusted to leave. She was free to come and go as she pleased, and he needed to learn to deal with it. She was her own person, not his possession, and any turmoil her leaving the house caused needed to be kept to himself.
“Andor?” Her voice was sweet to his ears when she called out to him upon entering the house.
“I’m in the kitchen.” He took a sip of his drink. The sound of her high heels clicking on the floor got closer until she stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He turned his head to look at her, and his breath caught at the sight of her with the sunlight from the window setting her hair on fire. It was like this every time he saw her, and he shoved his drink aside as he stood. A longing to touch her rose inside him.
She gave him a tentative smile as he approached. He reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear and his head swooped down to press a swift kiss to her lips.
“How was your lunch? Did you have a nice visit with your friend?” He stroked his hand over her hair, loving the smooth slide of the silky stands under his palm. He was growing aroused just touching her hair, but he held himself back. He didn’t want to jump on her every time she returned to the house after being gone. Despite the beast lurking inside him, he was a civilized man and he could control himself.
A frown marred her brow for a moment as she stepped away from him. She went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “It was good. I enjoyed our visit.”
He walked over to her and put his hand on her arm to turn her to face him. There was something wrong. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was a hesitation in her words, a worry she left unspoken.
“Is your friend okay? Has something untoward happened to her?” That was the only thing he could think it could be, unless Kevin had reared his head again. “Did you see Kevin while you were out?”
“God no. His arrest has seemed to have set him on the straight and narrow, and I haven’t seen or heard a peep from him since he went to jail. I don't even know if he’s out, so no, Kevin hasn’t been a problem. And Portia is great.” She took a sip of her water, and on the surface, she seemed fine. But she would not meet his eyes, and she seemed ill at ease standing there in his kitchen.
“Then what is the matter?” There was something wrong, and he would not let it go until she told him.
“Where do you go every morning?” She set the water aside and looked up at him.
There was an earnestness in her eyes that he knew he had to take what she was asking seriously. He studied her for a moment, debating. A whisper of caution went through him, telling him that she was not yet ready to hear the truth. He needed to tread carefully because if she did not believe him when he told her where he went in the morning, there was a risk that she would not trust him enough to stay.
"I will show you. You are dressed far too nicely for it though, and you will have to wear shoes that you can walk properly in. Go change and I will wait for you in the foyer.” He would show her the back of his property, to the clearing in the middle of the wooded area where he went every morning. He hoped it was enough of the truth to quench the doubts he could see in her eyes.
“Why don’t you just tell me.” She swallowed, and a frown wrinkled her brow. He came forward, took her hands and was heartened when she did not pull away from him.
“It would be better if I showed you. Once you see where I go, you will no have room in your heart to fear me.” He stroked the soft skin of her hands. “Everything will be fine, Lyssa. You just have to trust me a little. I will wait for you in the foyer.”
He dropped her hands and turned. He left the kitchen and did not turn to see if she had done as he asked. He made a brief stop in his study and grabbed a folded blanket that he kept in there and tucked it under his arm. With any luck, she would see the beauty of the place he went to every morning and would want to stay and enjoy it with him.
There was no sign of her when he got to the foyer, and he leaned against the wall by the front d
oor. It was crucial that he convinced her that his mornings away from her were as simple as a need to get out for fresh air and exercise. It was the truth, and the only part that he could not share with her was the form he took when he got that fresh air and exercise.
He did not have to wait long for her to join him and the soft scuff of running shoes on the floor assured him that at least she was willing to trust him a little. He was silent as he led her out of the house. He threaded her arm through his, and she did not pull away.
“Where are we going?”
“You will see when we get there.” He said no more than that as he took her to his favorite spot on the property. Part of the reason he came out here every morning was to slow his life down, if only for a little while. The world he had woken in had overwhelmed him in the first few weeks, and coming here had helped him adjust. It was a place where he could be his true self, and it was quiet and untouched by man.
When they got to the clearing he stopped. She looked around, her eyes sweeping the clearing surrounding them. “Where are we?”
“This is my favorite spot on the property. This is where I spend the early morning hours when I am not in our bed.”
She was silent as she looked up at him, and he knew that this was not what she was expecting. But it was the truth, at least most of it. He did come here every morning, and he looked in her eyes so she could see he was sincere.
“Why do you come here?”
“Because it is beautiful and quiet. I come here to stretch my legs and to think. There really is nothing more to it than that, Lyssa.” He reached up and caressed her cheek.
“If this was all there was to it, then why does Rickman act like where you go is a big secret. I’ve asked him before about where you are, and he gets very nervous.”
Andor fought to keep his face calm as he looked down at her. Perhaps he needed to enroll his minion in acting classes, so that he would not be so stupid around her. Rickman knew very well where he went and what he did every morning, but of course he could not tell her what it was. Why his minion felt it necessary to act like an idiot because of it he did not know, but he needed to undo the damage that Rickman had inadvertently caused. He was certain that Rickman’s behavior was a big cause of the doubts that she was harboring. His brain fired quickly as it came up with a reasonable explanation for what she would see as Rickman’s unreasonable behavior.
“I have made it clear to Rickman that if you have any questions about me, that he is to tell you to ask me. You will recall that it was because of Rickman that you thought I was a criminal, so after that happened I thought it best that anything you wanted to know about me was best answered by me. Rickman does not know where I go every morning, so he would not have an answer for you. He is nervous because he knows I would be angry with him if he gave you cause to think ill of me again.”
He had been careful to keep enough truth in his explanation that she would believe what he had said. He only hoped that she believed that this was where he went every morning, and showing her would ease some of the doubts she was harboring about him.
14
Was this where he went every morning when he left their bed? His face was open and without guile, and she sensed he was telling the truth. Had she let her doubts and fears take over? Was Portia right?
"So every morning when you leave my side, you come here?" It wasn't that she didn't want to believe him, it was only that it seemed too simple an explanation. He hiked here every morning so he could think and stretch his legs. It was beautiful here, with the last warmth of summer lingering in the air, but with the trees around them displaying all the colors of autumn. Surely there was more to it? She studied him, and a look crossed his face.
"Every morning except for one." He turned away from her and spread the blanket he had tucked up under his arm over the grass. He smoothed it so it was wrinkle free and he would not look at her. A small fragment of doubt lingered inside her, and as she stared at his back it stubbornly refused to go away. Here it came. He was going to tell her something that would devastate her and ruin everything.
Why couldn't she let it go? Why did she have to open her mouth, and let the garbage that was festering inside her out?
"You don't have to tell me." There was still time to save this. As long as he didn't tell her, she could pretend that all he did was come here and she could get rid of the baggage she was carrying. She could move forward with better intentions and more awareness.
He turned back to her and there was a ghost of a smile on his face. He reached out to her, and she stepped toward him, putting her hand in his. They went to the blanket and settled upon it. The warm breeze blew her hair across her cheek and he pushed it away and tucked it behind her ear.
"I've come to realize that it is better if I am honest with you. I had thought to keep this from you, but I can see now that this was a mistake. I want there to be no secrets between us. On the morning I speak of I did not leave your side, since we were not yet intimate. It was before the gala at the gallery but after you had made your police report. Do you remember what was going on at that time?"
She nodded. How could she forget? The police could not find Kevin and Rickman had suggested that they take matters into their own hands and set a trap for her obsessed ex-boyfriend. A trap that had worked, and had also put the man beside her in danger. A brief spurt of shame shot through her. She should have remembered all that he'd done for her, without asking for anything in return, before she'd started imagining that something sinister was happening. She was safe and unharmed at this moment because of him.
"I remember. Listen Andor, I've been silly. You don't have to tell me anything more." Portia was right, she was looking for reasons to think he was not what he seemed because she thought she didn't deserve a man like him.
"That morning I took the car and drove into the city. I went to Kevin's apartment building." He stared into the distance, as if he was seeing something in his mind's eye instead of what was in front of him. "I was determined that you were not going to be bait for him. He'd done enough damage to you already that I couldn't risk putting you in any more danger."
The shame she felt was replaced by a warm feeling in her belly as she laid her hand on his forearm. Even before she'd shared her body with him, he'd been watching out for her. He'd wanted to keep her from harm.
"What happened while you were at Kevin's building?"
"He was not there, and I suspect that he was hiding in the apartment of a friend of his. I cannot prove it, but he did get the message that I'd left with his friend so I have to assume that he was there as well." He took her hand from his forearm and held it.
"What was the message you gave to his friend?"
"I told him that you are mine and that I would protect you no matter what. I warned him to leave you alone, or suffer the consequences." He finally looked at her and there was a fierceness in his eyes when he'd said that she was his.
She knew that his possessiveness should make her nervous, and that if it had come from anyone other than him, it would have. But unlike Kevin, his proclaiming that she was his didn't scare her. It wrapped her in a cocoon of safety. Andor had shown her that he would not hurt her.
"If Kevin had been at his apartment that morning, what would you have done?" She waited for his answer with a feeling of excitement inside her. She knew it was twisted, but a part of her wanted to know just how far he would have gone to protect her.
"I would have done whatever it took to keep him from you. I would have made it so he was incapable of hunting you on the night of the gala. I think perhaps it was for the best that Kevin was not there that morning, and that he was taken into custody of the police. Where you are concerned I find myself operating on instinct, and it has been that way from the moment I first saw you."
"I still can't believe that I did that, went up to you and suggested that you pretend that we were together. You must have thought I was crazy." It seemed like such a long time ago that she'd seen the fort
une teller and had been afraid that Kevin was after her at the fair. Even then, when he didn't know her at all, he'd stepped in to look out for her. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. She rested her head against him and closed her eyes. She could feel the warmth of the sun on her face, and it matched the warmth that his nearness was stirring inside her.
"I did not think you were crazy. I saw you before you came up to me, and I remember that I very much wanted to meet you. I was waylaid before I could approach you, and I thought my chance to know you was lost. Imagine my good fortune when you came up to me, and suggested that I walk with you. I knew you were doing it for protection, but I was grateful for any opportunity to be with you." He moved so that he could cup her face, and he lowered his face toward her.
She lifted hers and he kissed her softly on her lips. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him down on the blanket so they lay together under the warm late September sunshine.
How different her life would have turned out if Portia had not insisted that she get out of the house and go to that fair. She would not have met him, she would not be protected by him even now. She certainly would not be falling in love with him.
He deepened the kiss as his hands stroked over h body. There were too many clothes separating them, and she wanted nothing more than to make love to him here in the spot where he spent his mornings while she slept alone in his bed. She pulled back and looked at him.
"Do you want to return to the house? I would not like for you to burn?" He stroked a finger down her cheek, where she could feel a flush of heat. It was not the sun that was making her skin burn, but him. She didn't want to waste time returning to the house. The ever present desire for him that flared to life whenever she was in his presence demanded release.