by Dena Christy
Of all the possible outcomes of this evening, the one where Lyssa thought he was a madman and left him was the one he had not considered. Andor cursed under his breath as he walked away from his home and made his way to the clearing. As soon as he had left her standing stricken in the lounge, his only thought was to come here. If he stayed in the house, he would give in to impulse and stop her from leaving. That would only hurt her more, and he would not do that. She had been subjected to enough hurt already.
Tonight’s outcome was one he should have had the intelligence to foresee. Lyssa was with him because she had not believe that her former boyfriend had been a dragon hunter. What had possibly made him think that she would believe him when he said he was a dragon? How foolishly he had deluded himself into thinking that the love he had for her would be enough to make what he wanted most in the world happen. The world did not work that way, and now it was too late to go back. He would give anything to reset the clock, to share what he was with her a different way. He had wanted this evening to be romantic and special, but he failed to consider that she would not take what he said at face value. He should have taken her outside, and shown her what he was. Surely she would believed what she saw with her own eyes.
He got to the clearing and walked slowly over to a large oak tree, sank down to the ground and rested his back against the rough trunk. He buried his face in his hands and cleared from his mind the images of her chasing through it.
There had to be a way to come back from this. He had to find a way to convince her that what he said was true. If only she had come here with him, if only she had allowed him to change to his true form, then she would have believed him.
He tipped his head back and looked up at the stars. She thought he was mad, there was no way she would let him near her again. He would not be in her company long enough to take his true form, and where exactly was he going to do it anyway.
She would not want to go anywhere private with him, and he could not take his true form in the middle of her front yard. He could take the chance that Rickman could lure her somewhere, but such underhanded dealings were not what he wanted to do. He had taken a gamble in telling her the truth, and he had lost more than he had been prepared to lose.
Lyssa was lost to him. She would not accept him for what he was. In her mind he was no better than her crazy ex boyfriend. The irony was that if he was a dragon, then Kevin was a dragon hunter. If Lyssa had believed Kevin when he had told her the truth about himself, she would not have run from him and Andor would never have met her.
He should have done more to prepare her, but how could you prepare someone for a truth as fantastical as his reality. he had miscalculated her reaction, because he had assumed she would be like Rickman. After his initial shock and denial, Rickman had accepted that the man who emerged from the bowels of the house he took care of was in fact a dragon. Lyssa was not like Rickman, who had been raised with tales of dragons and of his family's involvement with them. Lyssa had no such knowledge given to her. It was true that she loved dragons, but to her they were a creature of myth. He had mistakenly thought that she would trust him enough to go with him to this clearing and see for herself that he was not mad.
A snap of a twig sounded, and he turned his head quickly, with hope making his heartbeat pick up. Had she changed her mind? Had she come to see for herself that he was telling the truth?
Disappointment hit him like a hammer when he saw Rickman emerge from the woods and walk into the clearing. His minion had a sad and serious look on his face, and it was an expression that Andor had never seen his minion wear. Through this whole hunt for a mate, Rickman had maintained his optimism and had believed that the hardest part of the whole thing was finding the right woman for Andor. How foolish they'd both been.
"Lyssa is gone. I heard a car pulling away and went to investigate. Things did not go as planned, did they?" Rickman's voice held quiet understanding, and Andor shook his head and looked away from him. He did not want to rehash the whole evening for his minion's benefit, and was grateful that Rickman was smart enough to put the pieces together.
"Okay, so maybe it was not a good idea to lock her out of the basement. Perhaps if she'd seen the changes happening to Iszak, then she'd be more willing to accept the truth. How are you going to get her back?"
He didn't get it. Rickman thought that there was still hope for him and Lyssa. Andor sighed and scrubbed his hand across his face.
“I will do nothing.” Let this be the end of it. He did not want to talk about his failure, he did not want to talk about her. There was a ache in his chest, and he knew that it was his heart shriveling now that she was out of his life. Very soon he would not care about anything, and he would fall into the grip of the curse. Lyssa's disbelief would not stop the Hunter's Moon from coming, and would not stop him from falling into true madness. There was only one thing left to be done, and he only hoped his minion was as loyal as he needed him to be. "When the time comes I want you to make certain that I do not hurt anyone."
"What are you saying? You aren't going to hurt anyone because you are going after her. I'll go with you and together we will convince her that you are telling the truth." Rickman crossed his arms over his chest, and he glared at Andor. Under normal circumstance, such boldness would test Andor's patience, but now he was just too tired and heartsick to care. His minion would soon learn that the situation was hopeless and there was no remedy for it.
"I have hurt her enough. She has asked that I not go to her, that I not contact her and I am going to respect her wishes."
He did not think he could see her again without begging her to understand that what he said was the truth. He was not prepared to do that. Begging would tarnish all that had gone on between them, and there was no guarantee that she would respond to such desperation. She had already lumped him in with Kevin in her mind. Going begging to her, after she had told him to leave her alone, would be something that Kevin would do. The best course of action was to do nothing and let his fate unravel as it was meant to.
"I'll talk to her. There has to be a way to convince her that what you're saying is true." Rickman turned away, as if he intended to go after her in this moment.
Andor sprang to his feet and grabbed him by the arm, halting him. He spun his minion around, and grasped the front of his shirt, lifting him off his feet.
"You will do nothing. She wants to be left alone, and you will obey me when I tell you that you are not to go near her. Am I making myself clear, Rickman?" The anger at her leaving, which he had suppressed when she was there, came roaring to life now that it had a target. His body temperature soared and he narrowed his eyes at Rickman as his hand tightened further on the cotton of his minion's shirt.
"Why couldn't you get pissed like this when she was here? Your eyes are on fire, and if she'd seen that there is no way she would not have believed you. Why don't we go to her house, and you can get good and pissed and show her."
Andor gave Rickman a shake as if he was a rag doll to be thrown around and toyed with. "You are not hearing me. We are not going to go to her and show her anything. She has made her choice and I am going to respect that. Face it, if she doesn't believe it now, she will not believe it if I show up on her doorstep. All that will do is cause her to fear me more than she already does. Leave it alone, Rickman."
"So you are just going to give up? You're just going to curl up and wait to die?"
"It is my choice. You will leave her alone." Andor lowered Rickman to the ground and straightened his crumpled shirt. "Rickman? Do you understand that you are not to go anywhere near her?"
"Yeah yeah, whatever." Rickman would not look at him as he made a noise of disgust. "I think you're being stupid and you can punish me for saying so if you want. It's not going to change the fact that I think you are making a big mistake."
Rickman turned away from him and stalked away. Andor believed he made a mistake as well, but not in the way that Rickman thought. His mistake was embarking on this
course at all. He should have known that there was no way that the woman he loved, that Lyssa, would believe he was a dragon when she didn't believe in magic at all.
17
Of all the possible outcomes of this evening, the one where Lyssa thought he was a madman and left him was the one he had not considered. Andor cursed under his breath as he walked away from his home and made his way to the clearing. As soon as he had left her standing stricken in the lounge, his only thought was to come here. If he stayed in the house, he would give in to impulse and stop her from leaving. That would only hurt her more, and he would not do that. She had been subjected to enough hurt already.
Tonight’s outcome was one he should have had the intelligence to foresee. Lyssa was with him because she had not believe that her former boyfriend had been a dragon hunter. What had possibly made him think that she would believe him when he said he was a dragon? How foolishly he had deluded himself into thinking that the love he had for her would be enough to make what he wanted most in the world happen. The world did not work that way, and now it was too late to go back. He would give anything to reset the clock, to share what he was with her a different way. He had wanted this evening to be romantic and special, but he failed to consider that she would not take what he said at face value. He should have taken her outside, and shown her what he was. Surely she would believed what she saw with her own eyes.
He got to the clearing and walked slowly over to a large oak tree, sank down to the ground and rested his back against the rough trunk. He buried his face in his hands and cleared from his mind the images of her chasing through it.
There had to be a way to come back from this. He had to find a way to convince her that what he said was true. If only she had come here with him, if only she had allowed him to change to his true form, then she would have believed him.
He tipped his head back and looked up at the stars. She thought he was mad, there was no way she would let him near her again. He would not be in her company long enough to take his true form, and where exactly was he going to do it anyway.
She would not want to go anywhere private with him, and he could not take his true form in the middle of her front yard. He could take the chance that Rickman could lure her somewhere, but such underhanded dealings were not what he wanted to do. He had taken a gamble in telling her the truth, and he had lost more than he had been prepared to lose.
Lyssa was lost to him. She would not accept him for what he was. In her mind he was no better than her crazy ex boyfriend. The irony was that if he was a dragon, then Kevin was a dragon hunter. If Lyssa had believed Kevin when he had told her the truth about himself, she would not have run from him and Andor would never have met her.
He should have done more to prepare her, but how could you prepare someone for a truth as fantastical as his reality. he had miscalculated her reaction, because he had assumed she would be like Rickman. After his initial shock and denial, Rickman had accepted that the man who emerged from the bowels of the house he took care of was in fact a dragon. Lyssa was not like Rickman, who had been raised with tales of dragons and of his family's involvement with them. Lyssa had no such knowledge given to her. It was true that she loved dragons, but to her they were a creature of myth. He had mistakenly thought that she would trust him enough to go with him to this clearing and see for herself that he was not mad.
A snap of a twig sounded, and he turned his head quickly, with hope making his heartbeat pick up. Had she changed her mind? Had she come to see for herself that he was telling the truth?
Disappointment hit him like a hammer when he saw Rickman emerge from the woods and walk into the clearing. His minion had a sad and serious look on his face, and it was an expression that Andor had never seen his minion wear. Through this whole hunt for a mate, Rickman had maintained his optimism and had believed that the hardest part of the whole thing was finding the right woman for Andor. How foolish they'd both been.
"Lyssa is gone. I heard a car pulling away and went to investigate. Things did not go as planned, did they?" Rickman's voice held quiet understanding, and Andor shook his head and looked away from him. He did not want to rehash the whole evening for his minion's benefit, and was grateful that Rickman was smart enough to put the pieces together.
"Okay, so maybe it was not a good idea to lock her out of the basement. Perhaps if she'd seen the changes happening to Iszak, then she'd be more willing to accept the truth. How are you going to get her back?"
He didn't get it. Rickman thought that there was still hope for him and Lyssa. Andor sighed and scrubbed his hand across his face.
“I will do nothing.” Let this be the end of it. He did not want to talk about his failure, he did not want to talk about her. There was a ache in his chest, and he knew that it was his heart shriveling now that she was out of his life. Very soon he would not care about anything, and he would fall into the grip of the curse. Lyssa's disbelief would not stop the Hunter's Moon from coming, and would not stop him from falling into true madness. There was only one thing left to be done, and he only hoped his minion was as loyal as he needed him to be. "When the time comes I want you to make certain that I do not hurt anyone."
"What are you saying? You aren't going to hurt anyone because you are going after her. I'll go with you and together we will convince her that you are telling the truth." Rickman crossed his arms over his chest, and he glared at Andor. Under normal circumstance, such boldness would test Andor's patience, but now he was just too tired and heartsick to care. His minion would soon learn that the situation was hopeless and there was no remedy for it.
"I have hurt her enough. She has asked that I not go to her, that I not contact her and I am going to respect her wishes."
He did not think he could see her again without begging her to understand that what he said was the truth. He was not prepared to do that. Begging would tarnish all that had gone on between them, and there was no guarantee that she would respond to such desperation. She had already lumped him in with Kevin in her mind. Going begging to her, after she had told him to leave her alone, would be something that Kevin would do. The best course of action was to do nothing and let his fate unravel as it was meant to.
"I'll talk to her. There has to be a way to convince her that what you're saying is true." Rickman turned away, as if he intended to go after her in this moment.
Andor sprang to his feet and grabbed him by the arm, halting him. He spun his minion around, and grasped the front of his shirt, lifting him off his feet.
"You will do nothing. She wants to be left alone, and you will obey me when I tell you that you are not to go near her. Am I making myself clear, Rickman?" The anger at her leaving, which he had suppressed when she was there, came roaring to life now that it had a target. His body temperature soared and he narrowed his eyes at Rickman as his hand tightened further on the cotton of his minion's shirt.
"Why couldn't you get pissed like this when she was here? Your eyes are on fire, and if she'd seen that there is no way she would not have believed you. Why don't we go to her house, and you can get good and pissed and show her."
Andor gave Rickman a shake as if he was a rag doll to be thrown around and toyed with. "You are not hearing me. We are not going to go to her and show her anything. She has made her choice and I am going to respect that. Face it, if she doesn't believe it now, she will not believe it if I show up on her doorstep. All that will do is cause her to fear me more than she already does. Leave it alone, Rickman."
"So you are just going to give up? You're just going to curl up and wait to die?"
"It is my choice. You will leave her alone." Andor lowered Rickman to the ground and straightened his crumpled shirt. "Rickman? Do you understand that you are not to go anywhere near her?"
"Yeah yeah, whatever." Rickman would not look at him as he made a noise of disgust. "I think you're being stupid and you can punish me for saying so if you want. It's not going to change the fact that I think you are making a big mistak
e."
Rickman turned away from him and stalked away. Andor believed he made a mistake as well, but not in the way that Rickman thought. His mistake was embarking on this course at all. He should have known that there was no way that the woman he loved, that Lyssa, would believe he was a dragon when she didn't believe in magic at all.
Andor finished the fifth bottle of wine he had drunk since he woke up that morning, and he cursed his dragon nature. If he was only a man he would have passed out by now, and he would have relief from the image of her in his mind. Although, if he was a man he would not be in this situation. As it was, he was only now starting to feel the smallest of buzzes. It would take much more wine to drink away her memory. Did he even want to try?
"Rickman." His voice echoed in his study as he shouted for him. If there was even the remotest chance that the wine would ease the pain in his heart, he would take it. "Rickman."
Where was his minion? What was the point of having a minion if he was not going to make himself available to fetch and carry at any moment. Andor drew in a deep breath to call again, when Rickman came into the study with an exasperated expression on his face.
"What is it now?" His tone was not as respectful as it should have been, but Andor decided not to make an issue of it. He had one focus, forgetting Lyssa and he needed to devote all his attention to that.
"More wine." Andor lay back on the sofa and closed his eyes. The change in position did not make him any drunker.
Rickman gave a long suffering sigh. "I've brought you five bottles already. Don’t you think you've had enough? Wouldn't your time be better spent trying to find a way to get Lyssa back?"
"No. Bring me more wine. I command it." Perhaps Rickman's insolence stemmed from Andor not being commanding enough. He would have to start being more firm with him. He opened his eyes a crack and looked over at the blue haired young man. Rickman was in the process of rolling his eyes, and Andor could see there was no hope for him.