Lauren's Dilemma

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Lauren's Dilemma Page 5

by Margaret Tanner


  “I’d better go now. Thanks for the hospitality, Mrs. Cunningham.”

  “Our pleasure. Take care of yourself, and God speed.”

  “Well, I might meet up with you at the war, Captain Sinclair.” Laughter lurked in Danny’s voice once more.

  “Best of luck. Wish I could sail with you, but I’m sure we won’t be too far behind.”

  Danny shook hands with Blair and left the room, calling out one final, laughing farewell to the others. He held Laurie’s hand tightly as they walked to the front door where a maid waited to show him out.

  “Good luck, Sir.”

  “Thank you.”

  They stepped out on to the verandah and the maid closed the door behind them. “Goodbye, Laurie. I’ll miss you like hell.”

  He pulled her into his arms and kissed her on the mouth. “I’ll never forget how beautiful it was between us in the cave. No matter what happens to me. Wherever I go. It will always be the best moment of my whole life. I’d like to take you to some magical island where there would be just the two of us,” he went on passionately. “We wouldn’t have to worry about the war, your father or anything else.”

  “I love you, Danny, and when you come back from the war…” She couldn’t bear to think about saying if. “We can find our magical island together,” she whispered.

  “Laurie, Laurie.” His kisses became fiercer as he strained her close, and she clung to him. When his fingers started fumbling with the buttons on her blouse, she tried to move away.

  “Please,” he moaned. “It’s dark, there’s no one watching us, and I mightn’t see you for ages. I want to remember the perfume of your hair, the taste of your skin.”

  They were both trembling by the time he released her.

  “I’ll always love you, Laurie. Nothing will ever change that. Even when we’re old and white-haired, sitting in our rocking chairs with our grandchildren playing around us, I’ll still love you.”

  “Be careful, Danny. Come home safely to me.”

  The darkness swallowed him up. This laughing, reckless boy soldier took a piece of her heart with him. Oh, God, please don’t let anything happen to him. Keep him, and all the other boys who are sailing with him safe. Let them all come home.

  The car started up, and she waited until it disappeared before trailing forlornly toward the house. Danny was gone.

  Exhaustion weighed her down. Her eyes burned with unshed tears as she made for the sitting room where the others waited.

  “He’ll be all right, Lauren,” Blair reassured. There was a strong, stubborn set to his jaw, his light colored eyes stood out, against his straight black hair. Helen sat next to him, one hand resting on his knee, her fair head cushioned against his arm.

  “I might go to bed now.” She glanced towards Aunt Jane. “I’m awfully tired.”

  Her lips felt swollen from Danny’s fierce kisses, but she was too drained to care whether the others noticed or not.

  “Blair.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve been wondering if you might be sent to the same place as Danny. If you are…” She gnawed her lip. “Could you keep a look out for him? Except for me, he doesn’t have anyone else who cares. His parents are both dead and his Uncle Alf always treated him bad, used him as slave labor. Danny’s always been reckless. I’m frightened for him.”

  “You can rely on me, Lauren. I’ll keep an eye on him. Don’t worry; he’ll come back to you safely.”

  He spoke gently, his eyes dark with compassion. She could not explain it, even to herself, but he meant every word he uttered. She believed him. Dear God, she had to.

  Chapter Four

  Laurie returned home and helped out in the store as usual. As Uncle Richard had predicted, her father welcomed her back with his usual warmth and after an initial lecture he never again referred to the matter of her running away. Sometimes when she caught him off guard, his eyes would be dark with hurt, his brow furrowed. Her willful behavior had caused him a lot of anxiety. She sighed regretfully because things would never be quite the same as before.

  She’d never been much of a reader of newspapers, but now she devoured every article of war news. Europe seemed so far away. Where was Danny, why didn’t he write and let her know how he was? She fretted as the days passed. Even though more and more young men from the district were enlisting, the general feeling still prevailed that the war would be over by Christmas.

  “A letter for you, Laurie, from Western Australia. Danny, I presume?”

  “Dad, I’ve been waiting for this.” She rushed out from behind the counter and snatched it out of her father’s hand. Eagerly ripping the envelope open, she read Danny’s familiar scrawl.

  Darling Laurie,

  Things are going well. I wasn’t even sea sick, though some of the other soldiers were in a bad way. We met up with a convoy in the harbor near Albany in Western Australia. Transports from all over Australia, even a number from New Zealand joined us.

  There is still no word about our destination, but most of us think it will be France. We do exercises each morning, including a route march twice around the top deck.

  I’ll close now. Write to me, won’t you? When we arrive at our destination I’ll write again. All my love, Danny.

  “May I see?”

  “Yes.”

  She handed the letter to her father who skimmed through it.

  “Young devil sounds pleased with himself. I don’t approve of the way he opened this letter, it’s far too familiar.”

  “Danny loves me.”

  “Does he?”

  “Yes, and I love him, too.”

  “You’ve changed, Laurie. My innocent little girl has gone.”

  “I’ve grown up.”

  “It’s more than that.”

  Guilty heat suffused her cheeks and she turned away to hide her turmoil. Did he guess what they had done? Inwardly she felt different somehow, a woman in the true sense of the word, but surely it didn’t show on the outside, as well?

  *

  The weather became warmer; in a few weeks it would be summer. I’ll be glad to wear lighter, more colorful frocks, Laurie thought. Uncle Richard wrote, telling them Captain Sinclair had also embarked for overseas and Helen would be staying in Sydney with friends.

  At the store things got hectic. “People are frightened of food shortages,” her father commented one day as he refilled the shelves. “That’s why they’re stockpiling everything for Christmas.”

  War news dominated every conversation. It was unavoidable. Women started knitting socks and other items to send off to their men-folk. If only she had persevered and learnt how to knit.

  “I’ll do some socks for Danny,” Mrs. Trezise promised. “When I’ve finished the ones I’m doing for my son. I told you years ago, that you should have learned how to knit.”

  “I did try, but I kept dropping stitches all the time.”

  “You were half hearted, Miss Laurie, and didn’t want to learn.” Mrs. Tresize gave an exasperated sniff. “And I don’t have time to teach you now.”

  Two days after Christmas another letter arrived, undated but postmarked from Cairo.

  Darling Laurie,

  I’ve received four letters from you so far, two came in the one mail. As you can see, we aren’t in France yet. Things are a bit rough here. We are drilling in sand past our knees practically. It is terrible. Once I used to wish we lived by the beach, but not any more. I shall never be able to go to the seaside again without thinking of this wretched place.

  We are tired and bored. Our day begins at 6.15 when we go out training, and sometimes we don’t get to bed until close on midnight. A lot of men have been sick because of overwork. They’re not eating properly because they are too tired.

  I don’t have a tent yet. Ernie and I dug ourselves a hole that we covered with a piece of canvas scrounged from somewhere and this is where I am writing the letter. Please keep writing. We’re all hungry for news of home. As nothing much has happened, I will le
ave this letter for a few days, then I might have some more news to tell you.

  Three weeks have passed since I first started writing. I know I should have finished it off sooner, but I have been exhausted. We are camped at the base of the pyramids, just outside Cairo, and at last have been granted some leave.

  You will never guess who I ran into the other day. Captain Sinclair, only been here a few days, seems a decent sort. He took Ernie and me to some fancy club run for Officers and their friends. We had a few drinks and a meal. It was real good.

  He asked after you. Actually I felt sorry for him. Your cousin has not written to him even once. He keeps on writing but never gets anything back. Was a bit upset. Kept asking me whether you had mentioned her. I told him about your letter, the one where you said she was in Sydney going out with those society people. He sort of went white. Honestly, I was sorry I mentioned it.

  I said I would get you to drop him a few lines now and again. I know how you like writing, and Laurie, this seemed to cheer him up. He looked so down. It must be awful not getting any mail. Some men have not had even one letter in all the time we’ve been here. Those of us with mail share them with everyone. I must close now as the post is leaving. I miss you so much. Lots of love, Danny.

  As a postscript he wrote down Captain Sinclair’s address.

  Another letter arrived, dated the twenty-ninth of March, 1915.

  Darling Laurie,

  There is not much doing at the moment, but word has it we are set for battle soon. I can’t wait. We are trained and ready, yet still they leave us sitting here. I hope you are well. We had a quiet sort of Christmas, although the food was better. I had plum pudding among other things. There were chocolates and sweets, too, which reminded me of you, as I remember how you like sweet things. Can’t understand why you’re such a slim little thing the way you eat.

  We are burned nearly black from the sun. One poor devil in my platoon has coloring like yours, only his hair is real carroty, and he got badly burned.

  Did I tell you we climbed the pyramids? Oh, and I saw the Sphinx. Take care, Laurie, and keep writing. The feeling is we will be leaving shortly. I miss you, and think of you all the time. I do love you, and wish, well, you know, I better not say in case your father reads this letter, but I’ll never forget. Love, Danny.

  She folded the letter up, and retrieved the others out of her jewel case. Sitting on the bed, she re-read each of them and her eyes misted over. Danny, who had always hated school, penned a good letter. She had done as he asked and written two letters to Blair Sinclair. If he answered she would continue writing, if he did not, well no-one could say she didn’t try.

  *

  0130 hours, 25 April 1915. Gallipoli Peninsula, Turkey

  Danny shivered in the chilly air as he waited on the deck of the troopship. In the darkness he couldn’t see land, even though someone said it was less than three miles away. When his turn came, he climbed down the rope ladder and found himself in a small open boat. Excitement surged through him. He had traveled halfway around the world for this moment and was keen to give a good account of himself. His equipment and ammunition weighed more than eighty pounds, but he wouldn’t have cared if it had been a hundred and eighty.

  He sat next to Ernie, his friend since their training days at Broadmeadows, in what seemed like another lifetime. So much had happened since then. All the biblical places he had visited, the exotic foreigners he had mingled with, Laurie would be enthralled when he told her. It warmed his heart thinking about the love they shared, and she wouldn’t cheat on him like some girls did, and he hadn’t cheated on her, either.

  I should have finished that letter and posted it in Lemnos. Laurie would understand, she always did. He would finish it off tomorrow, and with any luck he would be able to tell her they had actually begun fighting.

  When four boats were full, the pinnaces towed them towards land.

  “I’m frightened.” Ernie grabbed his arm.

  “Nothing to be frightened of, mate.” Danny gave a soft chuckle. “Pretend you’re back working as a grip man on the trams. The noise of the pinnaces sounds rather like a tram, don’t you think?” Hope those Turks don’t hear us, though.”

  He gripped his rifle between his knees as they had been instructed to do, and he was surprised when his hands became sweaty. Ernie’s arm shook as it pressed up hard against his own.

  “Stick with me, we’re mates. I’ll look after you,” he comforted his friend, wondering whether the slight clicking noise close to his ear might be Ernie’s teeth chattering.

  In the spooky quietness they only spoke in whispers, and the slight splashing of the waves against the side of the boat was barely audible. About fifty yards from shore, the pinnaces cast off the boats and the sailors started to row them to the beach.

  A light appeared in the distance. A shot echoed in the pre-dawn darkness, breaking the silence that shrouded them. Jumping from the boat and landing in chest deep water, Danny held his rifle above his head to keep it dry and waded ashore, with Ernie at his heels.

  The firing became heavier as he scrambled onto a narrow stretch of beach.

  “Hell.” They must have landed at the wrong place, because steep, scrub-covered cliffs faced them. He cursed as bullets peppered the ground around him. Throwing off his pack, he scrambled up the hillside, grabbing bushes to drag himself upwards. A glance over one shoulder showed Ernie struggling along behind him. A blood curdling scream. The soldier in front of them collapsed like a rag doll. Danny climbed over the body to get past.

  The terrible noise of bullets and shrapnel pouring down on them intermingled with the cries of wounded men and the shouted curses of others. They frantically clawed their way up the cliffs. By the time he made it to the second ridge, excitement surged through him, though his stomach muscles felt hard and knotted.

  As the troops started digging themselves in, machine gun fire came from all sides. Men dropped by the dozen, yet he felt no fear. Later in the day, Ernie met up with him again. They were both dirty now, and the sharp, thorny scrub, reaching waist high in places, had ripped their uniforms.

  “You all right, Ernie?”

  “Yeah, hit my head on a rock, I think. Must have been out cold for ages, when I came around, you were gone.”

  “Lucky you’ve got a hard head.” Danny grinned at his friend. “You’d have…

  A heavy barrage of gunfire was followed by an attacking wave of screaming Turks. The fighting became savage. Danny wielded his bayonet fiercely, cursing and yelling as a primitive madness overtook him.

  His unit repulsed the attack, and as he took several shuddering breaths, he glanced down at the beach then wished he hadn’t. God, it was terrible. Those poor devils in the later landing crafts were being slaughtered by Turkish artillery before they even got out of the water.

  “Forward men,” their captain urged, and Danny nearly tripped over a body as he charged toward the higher ridges.

  He cursed the scrub-covered terrain as he dropped into a dugout, dragging Ernie with him. “We mightn’t get hit by a Turkish bullet,” he panted, “but these bloody prickles could kill us.”

  Why had Ernie enlisted, if he didn’t have the stomach for fighting? His face had turned a horrible puce color beneath the dirt and grime and he was giving huge, shuddering sobs.

  The dying screamed and moaned all around them, as the stretcher-bearers started their grim work. A sudden volley of machine gun fire, more intensive than before, caused a man to dive into the dugout with them.

  “What the hell?” As Danny climbed out from beneath the soldier, he whistled in surprise.

  “Jim Bryson, fancy meeting you here.” They shook hands and slapped each other on the back. “How are things? Plenty of wounded, I suppose?”

  “Hundreds, Danny. I never thought it would be like this. Have you seen my brother anywhere? Wally and I were together when we landed, but now he’s disappeared.”

  “He’ll turn up, probably have a smoke somewhere.”<
br />
  “Suppose so. Well, best be off. I’ve lost me mate.” Frowning, Jim glanced around.

  “He’s not in here.” Danny grinned. “Have a swig of this.” He pulled a small flask from one of his pockets and the three of them had a mouthful each. Ernie’s hands shook so much he could hardly hold the flask, so Danny steadied it.

  “Your mate seems in a bad way.”

  “Yeah, cracking up fast.” They both stared at Ernie who shivered and moaned. “Come on, you’ll be all right, just keep your head down.”

  Shrapnel poured down on them without respite. “You’ll get killed for sure, Jim, if you try leaving now. Wait until it gets dark.”

  “You’re right, not much use getting myself killed. If only I knew where Wally was.”

  “Come on, you two, a fellow will end up with the bloody willies. Think of something cheerful. Heard from home lately?”

  “Mum wrote, nothing much doing there. Laurie still writes?”

  “Yeah, we’ll be getting married when I get back.”

  “If she’ll have you.” Jim grinned. “Wally fancied her, but she gave him the brush off.”

  They tried to get Ernie to join in with them, but he huddled in one corner, groaning and holding his head in his hands.

  “You should try getting back to the others now, Danny.”

  “Why? I’ll see those Turks in hell before I move.”

  “You could end up getting isolated. If something happens we mightn’t be able to get you back. Some of those poor devils.” Jim waved his hand toward an area beyond the dugout. “Have been lying out there for hours. It’s too risky trying to bring them in until it gets dark, and then I doubt if we’ll find them all.”

  “Help me, for God’s sake.” A lull in the firing allowed the desperate plea to reach them.

  “Jesus, there’s someone out there alive.” Danny started climbing out of the dugout as the voice kept calling.

  “Do you want to get killed?” Jim tried to haul him back. “You were always reckless, but this is bloody stupidity.”

  “I wouldn’t leave a dog out there.” On his hands and knees, Danny crawled over piles of bodies, sprawled out where they had fallen.

 

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