13. If Heshel Rosenheim is indeed Heinrich Mueller, do you think his son should be able to forgive him? Could you forgive him? Can the good that Heshel/Heinrich has done in his life make up for the bad? What is the role of good works in the balance sheet of redemption?
14. Michael’s relationship with his sister is unique within the novel for its purity and wholesomeness—yet it is this relationship that pushes Michael to commit a terrible crime, and become, in essence, like the man in the journals. What are the moral implications for Michael, for causing destruction in the name of love?
15. The relationships between fathers and sons in this novel are ambiguous and complex. In what ways do they disagree on how to live their lives? Which of the generational disagreements would you attribute to historical change, and which to individual character differences?
16. April Love is a mysterious woman who keeps popping up in the oddest places, including in bed with a man ten years her junior. What does she represent to you? Why did the author bring her into the story?
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Heartfelt thanks to Michael Carlisle, who for some reason had faith, to his father, Henry Carlisle, who had faith even earlier, to my excellent editors at Random House, Dan Menaker and Adam Korn, who worked so hard on this book’s behalf, to Cecile Mooch-neck, who opened the door, to Jennifer Futernick, for an excellent reading, to Emmy Smith, for telling me to write about something Jewish, to Rifka Postrell, for help with the Hebrew and for telling me stories of the early days, to Susanne Stolzenberg, for correcting my German, and most of all to two people without whom this book would never have been written: Sam Lavigne, my son, whose editorial acumen made all the difference, and my dear wife, Gayle Geary, whose insight into the nature of secrets and the possibility of transcendence forms the spiritual core of this book.
In the course of my research, I used many texts and websites, but I would like to single out a few without which this novel would have been much the poorer: Genesis 1948: The First Arab-Israeli War by Dan Kurtzman, Abba Eban’s An Autobiography, David Ben-Gurion’s Israel: A Personal History, Menachem Begin’s The Revolt, Konnilyn G. Feig’s Hitler’s Death Camps: The Sanity of Madness, particularly her account of events at Majdanek, including her translation of the list of goods shipped from that camp (which I amended and abridged), Raul Hilberg’s The Destruction of the European Jews, Yaffa Eliach’s There Once Was a World, and The Holocaust Chronicle, Louis Weber, publisher. And most of all, I am indebted to two heroic writers, Primo Levi and Elie Wiesel, whose every word informs this work.
MICHAEL LAVIGNE was born in Newark, New Jersey. He began seriously writing fiction only at midlife and was a participant in the Squaw Valley Community of Writers. Not Me is his first novel, and he is currently working on his second, set in Moscow, where he once lived. He lives in San Francisco with his wife, Gayle.
Praise for Not Me
“A gripping mediation about the fluidity of identity.”
—Baltimore Sun
“A compelling portrait of shame, guilt and redemption…One’s sympathies are torn this way and that while reading this novel because Lavigne does the near-impossible: He manages to put a human face on someone who worked with the abhorred SS…. Vastly credible.”
—Rocky Mountain News
“Goes against the grain—in a positive, literary manner…pushes us to deal with the humanity of one justifiably banished from our sympathies…by forcing us to not simply succumb to the allure of the reprobate, but to care.”
—San Francisco Chronicle
“Lavigne carves a new portal into the depthless mystery of the Holocaust.”
—Booklist (starred review)
“Captivating…highly recommended.”
—Library Journal
“Crisply written and never less than engaging.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Always interesting…From the first page Not Me holds the reader’s interest…. A novel that raises all kinds of moral and philosophical questions surrounding the Shoa.”
—New Jersey Jewish News
“Suspenseful…In his examination of identity, Lavigne raises issues ranging from adoption to Zionism, euthanasia to ennui…. This remarkably original novel was no doubt written in anguish in order to process the Holocaust and share some thoughts—many of them very interesting and painfully honest.”
—The Jewish News Weekly of Northern California
“Michael Lavigne has an immensely powerful story to tell of guilt and redemption. Beyond its riveting plot, Not Me is a novel about the loss and recovery of love. In this sense it reminded me of Dickens’s Great Expectations: Heshel Rosenheim is as mysterious and haunting as Magwitch, and the lesson that his uncanny life imparts to his son, and to Lavigne’s readers, is on a grand human scale, and unforgettable.”
—JONATHAN WILSON, author of A Palestine Affair
“What a daring, even dangerous, act of the imagination this novel is! Not Me challenges one emotionally and intellectually. It’s that rare phenomenon: a philosophical thriller that will draw you in and leave you arguing furiously with yourself after you’re done.”
—RON ROSENBAUM, author of Explaining Hitler
“A disturbing yet surprisingly tender read that grips the reader from page one and never lets go. Michael Lavigne tells his intriguing story with intelligence, sensitivity, and flashes of scintillating wit. What more could you ask from a novel?”
—AARON HAMBURGER, author of Faith for Beginners
“A disturbing and important meditation on the question of identity. But Not Me is more than that. It’s a pleasure to read. The suspense is there on every page.”
—ARNON GRUNBERG, author of Blue Mondays and Phantom Pain
This is a work of fiction. Though some characters, incidents and dialogues are based on the historical record, the work as a whole is a product of the author’s imagination.
2007 Random House Trade Paperback Edition
Copyright © 2005 by Michael Lavigne
Reading group guide copyright © 2007 by Random House, Inc.
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Random House Trade Paperbacks, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
RANDOM HOUSE TRADE PAPERBACKS and colophon are trademarks of Random House, Inc.
READER’S CIRCLE and colophon are trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Originally published in hardcover in the United States by Random House, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., in 2005.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lavigne, Michael.
Not me : a novel / Michael Lavigne.
p. cm.
1. Alzheimer’s disease—Patients—Fiction. 2. Holocaust, Jewish (1939–1945)—Fiction. 3. Parent and adult child—Fiction. 4. Terminally ill parents—Fiction. 5. Fathers and sons—Fiction. 6. Jewish families—Fiction. 7. Philanthropists—Fiction. 8. Jewish men—Fiction. 9. Comedians—Fiction. 10. Ex-Nazis—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3612.A94425N68 2005
813'.6—dc22 2004051496
www.thereaderscircle.com
eISBN: 978-1-58836-611-5
v3.0
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