by Julia James
Hayley took the deposit slip from him, her fingers briefly touching his. ‘Thank you.’
‘Fair’s fair,’ he said. ‘You’re only marrying me because I’ve insisted on it. It’s only right that I pay for all the expenses incurred.’
‘Maybe … but it seems such a waste of money going on a honeymoon neither of us wants.’
A small silence dilated the atmosphere until Hayley could feel the temptation of forbidden opportunities closing in on her. A vision of their straining bodies locked in passion flitted unbidden into her mind, and her cheeks grew hot, her heart starting to thump so loudly she was surprised he couldn’t hear it.
He closed the distance between them in one stride and tipped up her chin with the tip of his finger. ‘Then I’d better make sure not a minute of it goes to waste,’ he said, his eyes burning with sexual promise.
Hayley stepped backwards out of his hold with what little resistance she had left and kept her features deceptively composed. ‘Do me a favour, Jasper, and keep your hands to yourself,’ she said coldly.
‘I can read your body,’ he said. ‘And yours keeps telling me it wants me.’
‘You’re imagining it.’
His eyes glinted teasingly. ‘So I was imagining those soft little pads of your fingertips running up and down me earlier today, was I?’
She drew herself up rigidly, her face and body feeling as if a bush fire had been let loose inside. ‘I won’t be so foolish as to let myself get carried away again by thinking one man can substitute another.’
By way of response he stepped forward and, taking her head in both his hands, he bent down and kissed her hard on the mouth. ‘See you in church, baby girl.’
The days leading to the wedding began to go by so quickly Hayley had little time to think of any last-minute escape routes, even if by some slim chance Jasper had overlooked one she could have executed. A small part of her had more or less accepted her fate with fatalistic resignation, while another part—a much larger part—began embracing it not only willingly but with increasing fervour as each day passed. The sexual tension she felt each time she was with Jasper had increased in intensity to the point where she could barely look him in the eyes without imagining he could see how she felt. The simplest touch of his hand or shoulder as he moved past her had her body tingling with awareness, and when his gaze locked with hers she felt her stomach roll over in heady anticipation of experiencing the full extent of the attraction she could see reflected in his dark chocolate eyes. That their short marriage would remain unconsummated was becoming increasingly unlikely, and, while Hayley realised Jasper would very likely move on once the month was up without a single qualm, she knew that for her things would never be the same. Her harmless adolescent crush had matured into something much more imminently dangerous …
The day before the ceremony Lucy announced another visitor at the salon. ‘And, no, it’s neither Myles nor Jasper,’ she said in response to Hayley’s questioning expression. ‘It’s a priest.’
Hayley felt her shoulders instantly relax. ‘It’s Raymond, Jasper’s older brother.’
Lucy’s eyes went wide. ‘Jasper’s brother is a priest? Wow! A playboy and a celibate priest in the one family. That’s certainly going from one extreme to another.’
Hayley gave her a tell-me-about-it look and went out to Reception where Raymond was standing looking like a fish that had just been tipped out of its aquarium.
She’d lately felt a little awkward in his company since he’d taken his final orders; she didn’t know whether it was appropriate to give him a hug or kiss on the cheek. Instead she offered her hand and he took it briefly, but warmly.
‘Hello, Hayley,’ he said. ‘I hope you don’t mind me coming to see you without making an appointment.’
‘You don’t have to make an appointment to see me, Raymond.’ She smiled and in an attempt at humour added, ‘That is unless you want a manicure or something.’
His answering smile looked a little strained around the edges. ‘Is there somewhere we can talk in private?’ he asked.
‘Of course,’ she said, and led him out to her shoebox size office.
She watched as he sat in the seat she offered, silently measuring the differences she could see between him and Jasper. Although they were brothers there was little to identify them as such. While Jasper’s hair was dark and thick, Raymond’s was several shades lighter and even though he was only four years older than Jasper, the stealthy creep of baldness was very apparent. His skin too was lighter and failed to catch and keep the kiss of the sun they way Jasper’s did.
He took the seat she offered and drew in a preparatory breath before speaking. ‘I will come straight to the point, Hayley. I have some grave concerns about your marriage to Jasper tomorrow. I really don’t think you should go through with it.’
She waited a beat or two before responding. ‘What are your main objections?’
‘I love my brother very dearly, but there’s no escaping the fact that he’s using you to make himself a fortune he doesn’t need,’ he said. ‘And you are aiding and abetting him.’
‘You make it sound like a crime.’
‘It is a crime to tie yourself to a man who will only use you for his own purposes,’ he said. ‘I hate saying this about my own flesh and blood, but Jasper has an edge of ruthlessness about him. I’m worried about you, Hayley,’ he said. ‘Jasper made your time at Crickglades a misery. You were always crying about something he’d said or done. How much worse might it be being married to him?’
Hayley felt a frown tug at her brows. ‘For G … er … I mean Pete’s sake, Raymond, I was a pimply teenager with hormones going up and down. Anyone could have made me cry at the drop of a hat. I don’t think Jasper meant anything by it. He was hurting too; I was just too young to see it at the time.’
His inspection of her features was speculative. ‘You sound as if you really like him now. I thought you hated him.’
She gave him an ironic look. ‘I thought you of all people would have been encouraging me to put aside such destructive feelings and work on forgiveness.’
‘Perhaps you’re right, but I still feel it’s my responsibility to warn you of what you are getting yourself into,’ he said. ‘You realise that in the eyes of the church your marriage will be considered eternal and sacred?’
‘Listen, Raymond.’ She leaned forward so she could eyeball him. ‘I consider what I feel for Jasper to be eternal and sacred. I don’t care what the church has to say about it. As far as I’m concerned it’s between him and me.’
‘God help you,’ he said, getting to his feet. ‘You’ve fallen in love with him.’
‘No. I don’t love him, but I don’t hate him as I did when we were growing up,’ she confessed.
‘And you think you can reform him, do you?’ His tone contained an element of frustration. ‘Do you know how many women I counsel in my parish who for years have foolishly thought they could reform the men in their lives? There are some men for whom no amount of love is enough, and I’m very much afraid Jasper might turn out to be one of them. He’s stubborn and finds it impossible to forgive. How long do you think such a marriage will last?’
‘I guess I’ll just have to pray for a miracle, then,’ she said.
He let out a long-winded sigh and got to his feet. ‘You’ll need more than a miracle.’ He took both her hands in his and gave them a comforting squeeze. ‘If you ever need someone to help you, I will be there for you, Hayley. Please remember that.’
Tears pricked at her eyes at the tender and sincere concern she could see reflected in his. ‘Thank you, Raymond. I will remember that.’
He dropped her hands and let out another regretful sigh. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you tomorrow. Jasper did ask me but I already have another wedding on.’
‘It’s all right, Raymond. Knowing you’ll be thinking of me will be enough.’
He smiled sadly and reached for the door. ‘I hope that you get your mir
acle, Hayley,’ he said. ‘I will be praying for you.’
‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘I think I’m going to need all the help I can get.’
Hayley stood on the portal of the church on Saturday morning with Lucy fluttering about her like a moth around a very bright light.
‘Are you ready?’ Lucy asked as she gave Hayley’s veil one final tweak.
She drew in a long steadying breath. ‘I think so.’
‘Righto, let’s go, then.’
As soon as Hayley met Jasper’s eyes as she began to walk towards him she felt something sharp catch in her chest. She saw the sudden flare of his dark gaze, the slightly shell-shocked expression that briefly marked his features before he got it under control as she came to stand beside him.
He looked down at her through the gossamer of her veil and smiled. ‘You look very beautiful.’
She smiled back, conscious of the indulgent congregation watching them. ‘You look rather good yourself,’ she said, although she couldn’t help noticing he looked a little pale beneath his tan.
The priest began the service and Hayley was swept up in the exchanging of vows, her voice trembling slightly over the words as she realised how deeply she meant the promises she was making. Jasper’s voice wasn’t as convincing as hers, she noted with a flood of resentment, and when he leaned down to kiss her it was hardly what she would have called enthusiastic.
Once the register was signed they made their way back down the aisle and into the sunshine and the array of photographers all pressing forward for the perfect shot.
The reception soon followed and after a couple of glasses of champagne Hayley tried to fool herself into believing every part of the day was for real and for ever. There was no other way to survive it without bursting into tears of despair.
Jasper was silent for most of the time. His one-word responses to the questions some of the guests fired at him made Hayley brood with anger that he had insisted on her playing the part of the besotted bride while he moped about looking as if his life had suddenly come to an end.
Finally it was over and Jasper escorted her to the limousine he had waiting. She sat stiffly in the seat once they had left the cheering guests behind and sent him a blistering glance. ‘Well, thanks for making me look a complete idiot back there,’ she said crossly.
He loosened his tie as if it were suddenly choking him. ‘What are you talking about?’ he asked.
‘You could have at least sounded and acted like you were enjoying yourself. Half the time you looked as if someone had a gun pressed to your head.’
‘Yeah, well, that’s what it felt like,’ Jasper remarked with a wry grimace as he rubbed at his temple where a bullet-hole of pain was boring into his skull. ‘It was a big week, a lot to organise.’
Hayley could just imagine what sort of mischief he had got up to on his so-called business trip. He hadn’t even told her where he’d gone. ‘How was your business trip?’ she asked, feigning an interest she wasn’t sure she really felt.
He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. ‘You don’t have to play the loving bride now, Hayley; no one’s watching.’
She frowned at his tone. ‘There’s no need to be so rude. I was only trying to make conversation.’
‘I have the mother of all headaches, if you must know,’ he said, opening one eye to look at her. ‘I just need a couple of hours of sleep and I’ll be back on my feet.’
‘You should have told me.’ She gave him a suddenly contrite look. ‘We could have left much earlier.’
He waved her concern away with a flick of his hand as he closed his eyes again. ‘I’ll be fine.’
But he wasn’t, Hayley realised as soon as they arrived at his house a short time later. His features had turned a ghastly shade of grey and his legs gave a distinct wobble as he got out of the car.
‘You don’t look so good,’ she said, taking his arm.
He removed her hand and began to walk towards the house but within a couple of metres his legs gave way and he stumbled to his knees.
Hayley rushed to his aid but he brushed her off with an irritated growl. ‘Leave me alone. You’ll get your dress filthy.’
‘I don’t care a thing about my dress,’ she said, and grabbed his elbow and hauled him to his feet with a strength she’d had no idea she possessed. ‘I’m taking you to bed right this minute.’
He looked at her through bloodshot eyes. ‘What a time to tell me that,’ he said with a rueful twist to his mouth.
She rolled her eyes and half led, half lugged him to the front door, putting her arm around his waist.
‘You’re not going to carry me over the threshold, are you?’ he asked, swaying on his feet. ‘That’s supposed to be my job.’
‘If I have to I will,’ she said and proceeded to drag him through to the nearest bathroom.
He sagged against the toiilet, his face ashen. ‘You can go out now,’ he groaned.
‘You must be joking,’ she said, reaching for a towel and dampening it at the basin. ‘This is no time for modesty, Jasper. You’ve obviously picked up some sort of nasty bug.’
‘Which you will catch if you come near me.’
She ignored his hand as he held it to ward her off and pressed the folded towel to the back of his neck. ‘You’re burning like a furnace,’ she said. ‘I think I should call a doctor.’
‘Don’t you dare.’ He gripped the edge of the bath to drag himself upright and, taking the towel off her, buried his face into its cool dampness.
Hayley bit her lip in concern. ‘Jasper, I’ve never seen you ill before. What if it’s serious? Like appendicitis or something?’
‘I told you I’m fine. It’s just a headache.’
‘It must be a migraine,’ she said.
‘I’ve never had one before …’
She reached up and helped him out of his jacket and to her surprise he didn’t resist. She undid his tie and shirt as well, but his hands came down over hers when she reached for the waistband of his trousers.
‘Not tonight, sweetheart,’ he said with another attempt at a wry smile. ‘I’m not feeling up to it, so to speak.’
She shook her head at him reprovingly and asked, ‘Will you be OK in the shower? I’ll wait just outside in case you need me.’
‘Give me ten minutes,’ he said. ‘Then if you don’t get an answer ring my insurance broker and tell him you’ll be in to collect my life insurance in the morning. It should set you up for life.’
She tightened her mouth. ‘Sometimes you can be such a jerk,’ she said. ‘I didn’t marry you for your money and you damn well know it.’
‘Why did you marry me, Hayley?’
‘You know why.’
Jasper’s eyes fell away from hers as he reached for the shower door. ‘Yeah,’ he said, leaning his burning head against the cold pane of glass for a moment. ‘I blackmailed you into it, right?’
But when he opened his eyes to see why she hadn’t answered she had already gone.
CHAPTER NINE
HAYLEY WENT INTO Jasper’s room to pull back the covers of his bed when her eyes came upon the suitcase he had packed in preparation for their flight the next morning. Her own suitcase as well as her belongings had been picked up that morning by one of his staff and brought to the house and placed in one of the spare rooms.
She turned down the covers of the bed and closed the curtains just as Jasper came in with a towel wrapped around his waist. He was still looking as white as the sheets on his bed, his features looking even more chiselled than normal, sharpened by illness.
‘What will we do about tomorrow?’ she asked as he sat down heavily on the bed. ‘Do you think we should cancel?’
He lifted his weary gaze to hers. ‘We don’t leave until lunchtime, but would you be disappointed if we did?’
‘Of course not. You’re hardly well enough to go up and down the stairs let alone fly to a tropical island.’ She touched him on the forehead with the flat of her palm. ‘You�
��re still running a fever. I’ll get you something to bring it down.’
When she came back with some paracetamol and a glass of water he was lying in the bed, the towel he had been wearing tossed on the floor. She sat on the edge of the bed, conscious of his naked body lying with just a sheet of Egyptian cotton separating her from him.
‘Here you go,’ she said, handing him the tablets.
‘Thanks.’ He tipped back his head and swallowed them with a mouthful of water.
‘Can I get you anything else?’ she asked.
‘No.’
‘Are you sure?’
He opened one eye to look at her. ‘Please go away, Hayley. You don’t have to worry. I’m not going to hold you to that in-sickness-and-health routine.’
She screwed up her mouth at him and got up from the bed. ‘I’ll leave the door open so if you need me you can call out. I’ll move my things into the spare room next door.’
‘You’d be better to stay as far away as possible in case it’s contagious.’
‘It’s probably too late for caution,’ she said. ‘You kissed me, don’t forget. Not that it was a very good kiss or anything.’
‘I didn’t want to pass on my germs.’
‘You should have told me you weren’t feeling well,’ she said with a little nibble of her bottom lip.
He cracked one eye open again. ‘What would that have achieved? The church was full of guests, the caterers had prepared the reception food and drinks and the press were jostling about like ants at a picnic.’
Hayley sighed as she gave the bed another quick straighten. ‘Are you sure about the doctor? I can ring a twenty-four-hour clinic if you like.’
He opened both of his eyes this time to send her a hardened glare. ‘You seem to be having a bit of a problem right now understanding the word no.’
She gave him an arch look in return. ‘Yes, well, I’ve heard it said that married couples often end up very similar, perhaps it’s a trait that’s brushed off on me from you already.’