Summer Sins

by Julia James

  ‘He very good boss,’ the housekeeper said as she cleared away the breakfast things a little while later. ‘He pay me good money. He very kind.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘He need a good wife now. Time to settle down and have lots of babies, eh?’

  Hayley smiled a little weakly without responding.

  ‘You a nice girl,’ Rosario said. ‘I can see that. You don’t love him for his money, not like all the others. He work too hard. I always tell him he should relax but he not listen to me. But you will be good for him. You love him very much, eh?’ Rosario clapped her hands together in delight. ‘This will be very good marriage. I know it.’

  Hayley felt her heart tighten painfully. All of a sudden she realized that quite possibly she had been in love with Jasper since she was sixteen. How could she tell the cheerful little housekeeper that the marriage was not only not good—it was going to be over in twenty-three days?

  Lucy greeted Hayley warmly when she came into the salon later that morning. ‘So how did the pretend honeymoon go?’

  ‘It was … good …’

  Lucy’s finely arched brows rose slightly. ‘You didn’t do it with him, did you?’

  Hayley averted her gaze as she inspected the appointment book. ‘Do what?’

  ‘You know what. Slept with him. Had sex. Got down and dirty with him.’

  ‘So what if I did?’

  Lucy groaned. ‘I knew you wouldn’t be able to help yourself. God, Hayley, are you crazy or something? It’s not a real marriage. He’s going to move on as soon as he can.’

  Hayley swivelled her gaze to look at her friend. ‘I thought you were starting to like him? You said he was a big improvement on Myles.’

  ‘I do like him, what woman wouldn’t? He’s charm and hot sex personified but it doesn’t mean you should have taken things that far with him.’

  Hayley let out a heartfelt sigh. ‘I know, but I just couldn’t help it.’

  ‘Don’t tell me you’ve fallen in love with him. That would be about the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.’

  Hayley didn’t answer.

  ‘Shoot, Hayley,’ Lucy said. ‘You have, haven’t you?’

  ‘I know it’s stupid and crazy and all of those things, but I’ve loved him for years.’

  ‘So why were you planning to marry Myles if you really loved Jasper?’

  Hayley gave her a rueful look. ‘That was another stupid and crazy thing I did. You were right when you said you thought I was looking for security. I think I knew deep down I could never have Jasper so I settled on second best.’

  ‘But you’ve got Jasper now, albeit temporarily,’ Lucy commented.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘So what are you going to do?’

  ‘I don’t know … stick it out, pray for a miracle, and hope he falls in love with me.’

  ‘But what if he doesn’t?’ Lucy asked, her expression full of concern. ‘He’s not good marriage material, Hayley. His little black book is not little—it’s the size of an encyclopedia. He’s already left one woman in the lurch. I couldn’t bear to see that happen to you.’

  ‘I’ll be fine.’

  ‘You are on the pill, aren’t you?’ Lucy asked. ‘You sorted out that trouble with the last one you were trying didn’t you?’

  ‘Um … yes … that’s all sorted.’

  Lucy pursed her lips thoughtfully. ‘And you’ve been using condoms, right?’

  ‘Mostly.’

  ‘What do you mean “mostly”? For God’s sake, Hayley, Jasper Caulfield’s been around more blocks than a New York city cab driver.’

  ‘I know what I’m doing,’ Hayley said. ‘If anything … happens I’ll have to face it alone. I know that. I’ve always known that.’

  Lucy gave her a big squishy hug. ‘Just be careful, Hayley. I don’t want to see you get your heart smashed to pieces. Look what happened to Miriam Moorebank. It was years before she found a nice guy to marry her. Men don’t like women with the sort of baggage that wears nappies.’

  How could I forget? Hayley thought in sinking despair.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  WHEN JASPER CAME home that evening Hayley was waiting for him in the lounge.

  ‘Where did you go last night?’ she asked.

  ‘I told you I had some business to see to,’ he said as he poured himself a drink.

  She found his cool, offhand manner immensely irritating and threw him a scornful glare. ‘All night?’

  He took a sip of his brandy before answering. ‘Yes, as a matter of fact.’

  Her blue-green eyes flashed with sparks of anger. ‘You’re a lying, cheating bastard,’ she spat. ‘Who were you with?’

  ‘I don’t have to discuss my private affairs with you.’

  ‘Affairs is exactly the right term, isn’t it, Jasper? You just can’t help yourself, can you? One woman is never enough for you.’

  ‘You are acting like a jealous wife, Hayley. I warned you about getting too attached to the role.’

  ‘Don’t worry. I know we’ve only got twenty-three days left. But let me tell you something for free. If you think you can go out all night, then so can I, and, like you, I won’t tell you where I’ve gone or who I’ve been with.’

  His mouth tightened as he set his glass down. ‘You wouldn’t.’

  She lifted her chin. ‘You just watch me, sweetheart,’ she said and flounced out of the room.

  Hayley hadn’t really intended going out at all, but when he didn’t call her back or even follow her out of the room she decided she would just for the heck of it. She scooped up her purse and keys and left, but once she was on her way down the street she really had no idea where to go until she drove past the hotel she and Myles had often gone to for a pre-dinner drink while they had been dating. She pulled into the arrival bay and left her car with the parking valet attendant and went inside.

  She sat in the piano bar sipping a fruity mocktail, trying not to blubber over the mournful songs being played. She was onto her second drink and her last tissue when a voice called out to her in surprise.

  ‘Hayley!’

  ‘Myles,’ she said, inwardly groaning.

  He took the seat opposite. ‘What are you doing here all by yourself? Where’s your husband?’

  ‘Um … he’ll be along shortly,’ she lied.

  He took her hand before she could stop him. ‘Hayley, I feel terrible about what happened. I want you to know I’ve completely finished with paying for … well, you know.’

  ‘It’s all right, Myles,’ she said, trying to remove her hand from his.

  ‘No,’ Myles said, his grip on her hand tightening. ‘I love you, Hayley. I hurt you abominably. I’ve been agonising over it for the past week or so. I want you to know that if things don’t work out with Jasper Caulfield I will be here for you. We can run away together, have the baby as we planned. We can set ourselves up for life with the money you get from the divorce.’

  ‘Myles, please—’

  A tall shadow fell over her as a deep voice drawled, ‘How very touching.’

  Hayley pulled her hand away from Myles’s and got unsteadily to her feet. ‘Jasper … I … I … ‘It was pointless going on, she decided. The blistering look he was giving her informed her she would be wasting her time trying to dig herself out of this particular hole.

  Jasper turned to Myles. ‘If you will excuse us, Lederman,’ he said with a supercilious smile. ‘My wife and I have some important business to attend to. I hope you understand.’

  ‘Yes … yes, of course,’ Myles said, looking flustered.

  Hayley felt the savage bite of Jasper’s fingers around her wrist as he led her from the hotel, her feet almost tripping over themselves as he gave no consideration to her much shorter stride.

  He handed the parking valet attendant a wad of cash and gave him instructions on where to have Hayley’s car delivered, his face rigid with anger as he led her to his own car.

  ‘Get in,’ he barked at her as he wrenched op
en the door.

  Hayley got in and he snapped the door shut and strode around to the driver’s side, his expression thunderous as he started the car with a bellowing roar.

  ‘Jasper, I—’

  ‘Leave it,’ he cut her off tersely. ‘I don’t want to hear any of your bare-faced lies.’

  ‘But you don’t understand—’

  ‘I understand what you’re up to, Hayley. I’ve suspected it from the start. You could have easily got out of marrying me in spite of the pressure I put on you, but you didn’t because you wanted a chance to get revenge and what better way than the way your mother did to my father?’

  ‘That’s not true,’ she said. ‘It was at first, I admit, but not now.’

  ‘I suppose you’re going to say you’ve fallen in love with me just to dig the dagger in a bit harder, aren’t you?’ he accused. ‘But don’t waste your breath. You might be a great lay, sweetheart, but that’s all you’re getting from me and only for another few days.’

  Anger came to her shattered pride’s rescue. ‘I don’t want anything from you,’ she said. ‘You’re a cold, unfeeling bastard and I hope you rot in hell.’

  He drove the rest of the way back to his house in a simmering silence, his expression so dark with fury she felt a flicker of fear deep inside her belly.

  Once inside the house she made to go up the stairs but he caught her arm on the way past and pulled her back to face him. ‘Not so fast, baby girl. I haven’t finished with you yet.’

  She slapped at his hand. ‘I have nothing to say to you.’

  ‘I wasn’t thinking along the lines of conversation,’ he said, pulling her close to his hard body, his eyes glittering with sexual heat. ‘What about it, sugar? Want to make the most of this marriage while it lasts?’

  Hayley tried not to look at the sensual curve of his mouth and looked into his dark, smouldering gaze instead. But that was an even bigger mistake. She felt the magnetic pull, the force of attraction too strong to resist as his mouth came crashing down on hers. It was a kiss of turbulent, out-of-control emotions; anger, passion, frustration and frantic need were all there in a cataclysmic combination that threatened to unravel her completely. His tongue delved between her lips like a torpedo on a search and destroy mission, each swoop and thrust rendering her boneless in his crushing hold.

  His hands pushed away the straps of her dress with rough urgency until he found her smooth naked form, her nipples so tight they drove their rosy points into his palms as he cupped her. His mouth left hers to take each peak between his teeth in a grazing action that was both painful and pleasurable until he opened his mouth over her and sucked on her hard. She whimpered at the abrasion of his tongue, the hot pull of his mouth making her toes curl in delight.

  He turned her around, lifting her dress to her waist, his body probing her from behind with an eroticism she could barely withstand. Her whole body trembled with anticipation as he shoved her knickers to one side, the rasp of his zip sending her heart rate soaring.

  ‘Oh, yes … ‘she gasped breathlessly as he drove into her silken warmth, burying himself so deeply she could feel him against the neck of her womb.

  The pace he set carried her along with him on a rollercoaster ride of nerve-tingling ecstasy until she was sobbing out her release, her body convulsing with rapture as he burst inside her with a grunt of deep satisfaction.

  He withdrew and turned her around and kissed her hard on the mouth, his hands cupping her face for a moment before he finally released her.

  She stood uncertainly before him, her body still tingling from the scorch of his touch. ‘Jasper?’

  He turned and zipped up his trousers, his hand scoring a rough pathway through the thickness of his hair as he moved to the other side of the room, his back like an impenetrable wall.

  Hayley wasn’t a hundred per cent sure, but she suspected he was as deeply affected by their lovemaking as she was. The expression she had seen pass so fleetingly over his face was one of startled bewilderment, as if he had never experienced something so powerful or so totally consuming before.

  ‘I know you probably won’t believe me, Jasper, but I didn’t plan to meet Myles this evening.’

  He turned around to face her, his expression tight with cynicism. ‘You’re right. I don’t believe you.’

  ‘I mean it, Jasper. I wouldn’t betray you like that. I don’t feel anything for Myles, in fact I wonder now if I ever did.’

  ‘I’m not interested, Hayley,’ he said, retrieving his mobile phone from his back pocket as it began to beep with a message tone. He looked down at the screen, a heavy frown bringing his brows almost together.

  ‘I suppose that’s another one of your lovers looking for you, is it?’ she asked before she could stop herself. ‘You’re such a hypocrite dragging me back here acting like a jealous husband just because I happened to innocently run into my ex-fiancé when you bed hop more than a bedbug. But then I’m just your temporary wife. Why should I care if you go from me to her?’

  His eyes met hers for a brief moment, the hardness in their chocolate-brown depths sending an arrow right through her heart. ‘That’s right, Hayley,’ he said. ‘Why should you care?’

  Because I damn well love you, that’s why. The words were on her tongue and just about to spill out, but before she could open her mouth he had turned and left, the door snapping shut behind him with a chilling finality.

  Hayley was well aware over the next two weeks that Jasper was doing his best to avoid her. She threw herself into work at the salon, pinning a bright smile on her face for the sake of her clients, but as she drove back to Jasper’s house each evening it was with a heavy heart.

  She had moved her things back into one of the spare rooms, and when Rosario gave her a puzzled look when she came to clean Hayley explained she had a cold and didn’t want to give it to Jasper. It was partly true, she rationalised the little white lie. She did feel unwell. Her appetite had faded considerably, which was highly unusual, and her stomach felt squeamish every time she smelt certain aromas, in particular coffee.

  The following day Lucy came from the café down the road with their standard mid-morning pick-me-up caffeine hit. ‘One latte coming up,’ she said and, taking off the lid, handed it to her.

  Hayley put a hand up to her mouth and ran out the back to the small bathroom and promptly threw up. Lucy squeezed in behind her and handed her a soft towel.

  ‘I’m thinking that instead of the coffee maybe I should have bought you a pregnancy test instead,’ she remarked wryly.

  Hayley felt her skin begin to shiver as she did the numbers on her cycle. She was ten days late, which was not all that unusual as she had never been particularly regular, especially during times of stress, but her breasts were feeling tender as well. She had been pushing the thought aside for days, unwilling to accept the possibility that she was carrying Jasper’s child. A child he would see as a mistake just like the first one he had fathered.

  ‘It might be a stomach bug,’ she said in between another bout of retching.

  ‘Yeah, I’ve seen that type of bug before. It lasts about nine months and grows to the size of a small football,’ Lucy said dryly.

  Hayley washed her face and grimaced as she looked in the mirror. ‘It would be just my luck. We’re splitting up in a week.’

  ‘So he’s still pretty keen to call an end to it?’ Lucy asked.

  Hayley sighed. ‘Yes. He’s already distancing himself. I can feel it.’

  ‘I won’t say I told you so.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘But I will say why don’t you take the rest of the day off? I’ve had a cancellation so I can do Mrs Pritchard for you and the rest of the day’s bookings are fairly well spaced.’

  ‘Would you mind?’

  ‘Of course not,’ Lucy said with a smile. ‘Go and get a test done and have a think about what you’re going to do.’

  ‘I already know what I’m going to do,’ Hayley said as she gathered her things togeth
er.

  Lucy gave her a penetrating look. ‘You’re not thinking of not telling him, are you?’

  ‘I can’t tell him.’

  ‘You have to tell him!’

  ‘No, Lucy. I can’t. Do you realise how angry he would be? He’s had to deal with an unwanted child ever since he was eighteen. I couldn’t possibly tell him, he might make me have an abortion or something.’

  ‘No one can force you to do that unless you think it’s the right thing for you.’

  ‘It wouldn’t be the right thing for me, but telling Jasper he’s going to be a father is not going to be the right thing either. He’ll think I did it deliberately to trap him into staying married to me.’

  ‘Didn’t you?’

  Hayley bit her lip. ‘Not consciously, but maybe deep down inside I think I let things happen that shouldn’t have happened,’ she confessed. ‘I should have been more careful.’

  ‘It seems to me even a nun would have a hard time resisting Jasper Caulfield,’ Lucy said as she rinsed out the towel and handed it to Hayley.

  ‘Tell me about it,’ Hayley said as she buried her head into its cooling freshness.

  Hayley looked at the results of the pregnancy test with a combination of joy and dread. She put a hand to her belly and felt a wave of awe pass through her that she was carrying Jasper’s child. But when she allowed herself to think of his reaction to the news she felt a tidal wave of panic swamp her. Her only comfort was they would be soon separating and unlikely to run into each other now that Gerald had passed away. It was against her principles to conceal such life-changing news from him but she knew he had no interest in being a father a second time.

  She heard him come home and quickly scrunched up the packet and stuffed it in the bottom of the bathroom bin, promising herself she’d take it out to the main rubbish container later.

  She stayed in the spare room, assuming he would go out as he had done every night for the last two weeks, but instead she heard his footsteps stop outside her door.

  ‘Hayley, I’d like a word with you.’

  She got off the bed and tentatively opened the door. ‘Yes?’