‘Oh Gary, quick, do something!’ Carol exclaimed, shocked, as a gust of smoke blew skywards.
‘Liz, have you got a hose?’ Mike asked urgently.
‘It’s in the shed,’ she replied.
‘Is that my house on fire?’ Nancy asked shakily.
‘Don’t worry, it will be fine. Thank God there’s no one in it,’ Liz assured her, dropping a comforting arm around her shoulder.
‘You’re after setting the place on fire, Ma. I warned you about those butts that you don’t put out.’ Nadine was pale with fright. ‘Now look what you’ve done.’
‘Leave her alone, Nadine,’ Carol chastised sternly. Now was not the time to apportion blame.
‘Look, it’s all right for you. I have to live with her; she’s always doing things like this. No one will listen to me,’ Nadine exploded.
‘It’s OK, Nadine, take it easy.’ Jessie tried to calm the younger girl down as Gary and Mike ran across the street with the hose to see what they could do.
‘What the fuck is he doing here?’ Carol stopped short when she saw her father.
‘He brought you a wedding present,’ Nadine gulped, trying to regain her composure.
‘He can stick it up his arse. I don’t want any wedding present from that bastard,’ Carol fumed. Nancy burst into tears. Neighbours were gathering, and in the distance they could hear the fire brigade siren.
Carol marched over to Bill, chin thrust out aggressively.
‘You take your present, buster, and stick it where the sun don’t shine. I wouldn’t take tuppence from you and how dare you think I would. Go and give it to your fancy woman and tell her never to come near me again.’
Bill swallowed, shaken in the face of his daughter’s naked aggression.
‘Carol, don’t talk to your father like that,’ Gary chided, equally shocked by his fiancée’s hostility. He had no idea that their relationship was so poisoned. Carol rarely spoke of her father.
‘You stay out of it, Gary, you know nothing about it.’ Carol was beside herself with fury. How dare her father come down to Arklow and act like a munificent benefactor? She was furious beyond measure that Gary should witness such a scene. It was bad enough that he’d seen her mother hungover and hardly compos mentis. All of this was excruciating. She feared that it might even put him off marrying her. She’d never let him know the extent of her family problems; today he’d seen them in all their glory.
‘What are you talking about, Carol?’ Bill demanded.
Fear lent bitterness to her tongue when she saw the effect her words had on her father. It was obvious by his reaction that he didn’t know of Brona’s little visit to her.
‘Oh! Did you not realize that your mistress came to see me at work to insist that I let you walk me up the aisle?’ she spat.
‘What?’ Bill said weakly.
‘Oh yes. She thinks I’m being horrible to you. Well, I soon put her straight about who was horrible to whom . . . Daddy.’ Her words oozed contempt. ‘She’s such a smug little bitch. It would be interesting to see how forgiving she’ d be if you ever walked out on her and her child—’
The blare of the siren and arrival of the fire brigade interrupted her tirade. Moments later, hoses uncoiled and connected to the mains, the firemen got to work. It didn’t take long to douse the fire. It hadn’t caught hold and there was more smoke and water damage to the kitchen than anything else.
‘Any idea how it started?’ the chief fireman asked Gary.
‘It was a cigarette butt. Hers!’ Nadine said truculently, pointing a finger at her mother.
‘For God’s sake, Nancy!’ Bill exploded. ‘Look at the state of the place. Don’t expect me to pay for doing it up if your drunken negligence caused this. I’m heartily sick of paying out, week in week out, with no thanks from any of you. What do you think I am? The Bank of Monte Carlo? You’re a crowd of ungrateful bloody spongers,’ he roared, beside himself with hurt and anger.
A gasp, half-horror, half-excitement, swept through the onlookers. This drama would keep the street going for months.
‘Don’t you dare speak to us like that!’ Nancy pointed a shaking finger at her husband. ‘How dare you come down here and make a disgrace of us—’
‘Oh no!’ Bill laughed bitterly. ‘You don’t need me to do that. You and that rude, ungrateful little brat,’ he jerked his thumb at Nadine, ‘manage to do that all by yourselves.’
He turned to Carol. ‘So you’re going to get married? I hope your marriage is a hell of a lot happier than mine was. I hope you never have to endure what I had to endure. And I hope your children bring you a lot more joy than mine brought me.’ He turned to the crowd of neighbours. ‘Clear off, you lot, the show’s over. Bloody voyeurs.’ Turning on his heel, he walked over to his car, did a U-turn and scorched down the street.
‘If there’s anything we can do to help, Nancy, give us a shout,’ Johnny Kelleher, her immediate next-door neighbour, offered sympathetically, breaking the stunned silence.
‘Thanks, Johnny,’ Nancy said weakly.
‘Mrs Logan, you’ve got to be very careful to make sure your cigarettes are completely extinguished before you put them into a bin. It’s imperative that you check all your ashtrays at night also, or the next time you might not be so lucky,’ the fireman warned sternly as his colleagues rolled up their hoses.
Nancy’s face crumpled and she started to sob noisily. Nadine looked mortified.
‘Come back over the road with me, and we’ll let the lads sort out the place.’ Liz stepped in quickly, taking Nancy by the arm. She led the distraught woman back to her house, away from the prying eyes of the neighbours.
‘Come on, Gary, let’s have a look and see what we can do to sort out the place,’ Mike suggested.
‘I’ll help ye there, lads,’ Johnny Kelleher said. ‘First thing we’ll need a couple of brushes to sweep up that glass there. I’ll get mine.’
‘I’ll run down the town and get a couple of panes of glass; just let me measure up there,’ another neighbour offered.
‘Why don’t you and Nadine and Jessie go back over to Liz’s and have a cup of tea and we’ll get on with the job,’ Gary said to Carol. She could hardly look him in the eye, she was so humiliated.
‘Go on, it’s all right,’ he said, in the gentlest tone he’d ever used to her, and she burst into tears.
‘Don’t cry, Carol, come on – you too, Nadine,’ Jessie said, feeling utterly sorry for the two girls. She put her arm around Carol and, trailed by Nadine, they crossed the road back to Liz’s house.
‘Fucking hell, I never knew it was that bad, mate,’ Gary muttered to Mike, more shaken than he cared to admit.
‘It will blow over,’ was the best Mike could come up with. He didn’t know what to say to the other man. It was clear Carol and he hadn’t discussed the extent of her family difficulties. Did they communicate at all? he wondered as he rooted through Nancy’s chaotic shed in search of a brush.
Would this contretemps have any effect on their forthcoming wedding? he couldn’t help thinking. Would seeing the Logans in action make Gary back off?
Just when it looked like things were on an even keel again, it could all go very badly pear-shaped if the loony Logans were too much for Gary to handle.
* * *
What in the name of God have I let myself in for? Gary wondered miserably as he tipped the glass that Mike had swept into sheets of newspaper. He was thoroughly shaken by the events of the afternoon. He was marrying into a crowd of loopers. He’d made a big effort with them, just to try to get the afternoon over and done with as peacefully as possible once he’d sensed the unmistakable air of tension that permeated the household. The mother was off with the fairies, not on the planet at all. Carol had told him she used to drink when the husband had left her. She obviously still did.
The sister was a little skanger who was full of anger, and why wouldn’t she be if that kind of carry-on was the norm? And the father certainly had issues. Carol had
been really rough on him. He’d never seen her lose her cool like that before. She always liked to be in control. He’d felt very sorry for her, standing there berating her father. Gary hadn’t realized the depth of her hurt at Bill’s desertion of her. Even after all these years it still seemed very close to the surface.
She couldn’t even look him in the eye. She’d been embarrassed. He’d never seen her so vulnerable. He didn’t want to think of her as being vulnerable. He liked his tough, in-control, unruffled Carol. Vulnerable women needed emotional support. Giving emotional support could be hard going. He wasn’t the best at it. It was too much of an effort.
Carol had kept her family very much at a distance all the time he’d known her. He could now see why. They were a major embarrassment. The neighbours had had a field day. What would his own family make of them? He’d introduced his mother and brothers to Carol and they’d socialized a couple of times, but generally they weren’t in the habit of visiting. He wasn’t great at keeping in touch with them either but at least they knew how to behave in public. Now in the light of the last couple of hours he was beginning to feel extremely apprehensive. He was certainly going to scrap his mother’s suggestion of taking Nancy and Nadine to dinner so they could meet before the wedding day. Nancy would probably fall asleep in her soup. Another thought struck him . . . Did he really want to invite his friends to what could be an absolute disaster? He’d be a laughing stock. Gary could feel the beginnings of a headache. This was all the stuff of nightmare.
What kind of a wedding were they going to have? No wonder Jessie had been reluctant. Now he understood her hesitancy in agreeing to the joint celebration.
If he married Carol he’d be stuck with her family for life. What a thought. He groaned. It was bad enough having to get married in the first place. This was just the icing on the bloody cake.
* * *
Bill pulled onto the hard shoulder just off the Arklow bypass. His pulse was rattling. He took slow deep breaths, wondering for a moment if he was going to have a heart attack. What a dreadful scene. What a traumatic ordeal. Carol ranting and raving at him and calling him the most dreadful names. All the neighbours gawking and enjoying it, and the damn house going up in flames. The house he had paid the mortgage on for years. The house his wife now lived in rent-free, and all because of her damn stupidity it could have been a ruin. She’d have been on to him pretty quick to pay for alternative accommodation for her and Nadine if that had been the case. That’s all they saw him as, a money machine. And he was the fool who paid out without a word of complaint, he thought bitterly, leaning back against the headrest.
And then there was Brona’s totally unexpected intervention. At least it had been loyally motivated, if somewhat misguided. She had always been very protective of him. Her indignant protestations that his family took him for granted had always warmed him. Having a champion had helped more than she would ever know. But it was obvious that whatever Carol had said to her during their encounter had turned Brona away from him. She’d grown cold and sullen, no longer the loving companion he’d so enjoyed being with.
He’d have to sort it and try to get to the bottom of what was bugging her. He wouldn’t tell her about the afternoon’s events. Some things were best left unsaid, especially in the present pressure-cooker climate.
Feeling utterly beleaguered, Bill turned on the engine and waited for a gap in the heavy Sunday evening traffic.
* * *
‘Oh Liz, I’m ashamed.’ Nancy wept in the privacy of her neighbour’s bedroom.
‘Don’t be, Nancy. It will be forgotten about soon enough,’ Liz comforted.
‘For it to happen in front of Carol’s chap. What must he think of us?’ She buried her head in her hands.
‘That was unfortunate, but he’ll get over it. If that’s the worst that ever happens to him won’t he be lucky?’ Liz declared.
‘It was my fault the house went on fire. And wasn’t it just my luck that Bill called? I haven’t seen him for months and he picks today to come. And did you see the way he turned on me? He hates me, Liz. Can’t bear the sight of me. And you know?’ She rubbed her eyes with the backs of her hands. ‘I loved him so much. I really loved him. I miss living with him. Why, Liz? Why did this all happen?’
‘Look, Nancy,’ Liz said firmly, having heard this many times before, ‘don’t you think it’s time to put all of this behind you? Start afresh. Stop holding on to the past. Let him go. Why would you want to hold on to someone who doesn’t want to be held on to? He’s moved on, you have to as well. You’ll never be happy otherwise.’
‘It’s very hard, Liz,’ Nancy moaned.
‘Do you want to be like this for the rest of your life? Look at the state of you, Nancy. You’re shaking, you’re smoking like a trooper, and you’re not eating. Remember how you used to be, so vibrant and full of life,’ Liz challenged.
‘That was a long time ago. I’ll never be that person again,’ Nancy said mournfully.
‘No, not that person, but you could become a happy, healthy person. Start again, cut down on the fags and the drink,’ Liz said bluntly.
‘Oh Liz, I don’t drink that much,’ Nancy protested.
‘Now, Nancy, you know you do,’ Liz pushed. ‘Look, why don’t you set yourself a goal for the wedding? I’ll help you. We’ll go walking, we’ll eat healthy, and you cut down on the ciggies and do your best with the drinking. If you want to get professional help I’ll come with you,’ she offered kindly. ‘I’m talking about AA.’
‘No, no, there’s no need for that,’ Nancy exclaimed, horrified by the other woman’s suggestion.
‘OK, but let’s make sure that Carol and Jessie have an unforgettable day. The loveliest wedding ever. They deserve it, don’t they? And we deserve it. Both of us have had hard times.’
‘I’d like that,’ Nancy murmured. ‘I’d like it very much. Will you really help me?’
‘I will, Nancy. I promise,’ Liz assured her. ‘But you have to make the effort. Let’s do it. Let’s walk into that church and make our girls proud.’
‘All right,’ Nancy said shakily. ‘Maybe some good will come out of this horrible day. I never want to go through a day like it again.’
* * *
‘He’s going to do a runner on me. He’ll never marry me after this. Why would he want to?’ Carol was in bits. Tears streamed down her face, which was buried in Jessica’s shoulder.
‘Stop bawling, will ya, Carol,’ Nadine said uncomfortably.
‘Let her get it out of her system,’ Jessica said quietly. She pitied her friend from the bottom of her heart. What a horrible ordeal to have to endure. To have a family row was one thing, to have it in public with neighbours gaping openmouthed, and, even worse, to have all of it witnessed by the man you were going to marry, was horrific.
Jessie had felt sick watching Carol scream abuse at her father. She hadn’t realized the depth of Carol’s hatred for Bill. It was very, very upsetting to view such naked hatred. She was so lucky to have known only love, she thought as she held Carol tightly. She wanted to reassure her and say that of course Gary would marry her and comfort and support her, but she wasn’t at all sure that he would. That was the worst thing of all.
Wordlessly she patted Carol’s back and wondered what other disasters could befall them. If they all got up the aisle at the end of September it would be an absolute miracle.
* * *
‘Should we make a move, Carol?’ Gary suggested, glancing at his watch. It was after nine and he was wrecked. If they left now he’d have time to go for a pint before closing time. He badly needed one.
‘I think I’ll stay the night, Gary,’ she said miserably. ‘Jessie’s staying the night, so I’ll get a lift home with her in the morning.’
‘Oh! Are you sure?’ he asked, half relieved and half annoyed. If he’d known that she was going to stay he’d have left an hour ago. He and Mike had cleaned up the kitchen as much as they could and he smelt of smoke and sweat. He couldn’t wai
t to have a shower and get out of his clothes. He couldn’t wait to get out of this dilapidated, Godforsaken house and shake the dust of Arklow off his heels. If he never saw the place again it would be too soon for him, he thought grimly as he stood up to leave.
Nancy was in bed, doped out of her skull on the two Valium she’d taken. Nadine had gone to her best friend’s house and he and Carol were sitting on the shabby sofa in mostly awkward silence. She stood up to walk him to the door. ‘Are we OK?’ she asked, more subdued than he’d ever seen her.
What could he say? That no, it was all off and he wanted out? He couldn’t do it. He did love her, he supposed, surprised at the sudden rush of tenderness he felt when he saw her bowed head.
‘Of course we’re OK,’ he said gruffly. ‘Why wouldn’t we be?’
‘I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to break it off after this afternoon,’ she said unsteadily, unable to look him in the eye.
‘Don’t be daft, Carol, these things happen. Go to bed and have a good night’s sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head.
‘OK,’ she murmured wearily.
‘Tell Nadine and your mum I said goodbye and I’ll see them again,’ he heard himself say as she opened the front door for him.
Heavy-hearted, he walked to the car. He’d had his chance to back out. She’d handed it to him on a plate and he just couldn’t take it. He hoped he wouldn’t regret it for the rest of his life.
* * *
Carol lay in bed, wide-eyed. Nadine had just come staggering in, pissed out of her skull. She could hear her thumping around her bedroom. Carol hadn’t spoken to her; she didn’t have the heart for it. One confrontation had been enough today, she thought miserably, as she tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable in her old bed.
Gary had come up trumps, that was one good thing, she tried to reassure herself. He’d treated her mother and sister kindly and he’d been unusually gentle with her, especially when he’d said goodnight. Her heart had been in her mouth when she’d brought up the subject of him calling it off. She’d been all prepared for him to agree. And he hadn’t. As far as he was concerned the wedding was still on track. Gary had stood by her. Right now that was all that mattered.
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