Bloody wimp, she thought dismissively. Why didn’t she just have the balls to say no? Jessica was never able to say no. Was she to be blamed for that too? Carol thought resentfully. Why didn’t they just blame her for everything? How she’d love to tell the smug pair of them to go stuff their hickey little wedding. She chewed her lip. One whiff of this to Gary and he’d back out of it so quick you wouldn’t see him for dust. Did Mike really think that she was dying to share her wedding day with them and that Katie and Liz and Tara shower? Well, she wasn’t. If she never saw them again she wouldn’t give a shite right now.
He’d some nerve if he thought she was going to ring Jessie and apologize.
But if you don’t, Mike could involve Gary and that would be the end of that. The insidious little thought wouldn’t go away. She groaned. Her head was throbbing; she was still toxic from all the drink she’d consumed at the weekend. Never ever again, she vowed, as she padded into the kitchen to drink a glass of water.
She couldn’t tell Gary about this. She couldn’t tell Jessie as she usually did, seeing as Jessie was the cause of it all. It suddenly struck her that she had no one to talk to, no one to confide in. A memory flooded back. Sean with his arm around her, comforting her as she confided her hurt and heartbreak to him. She’d let him go so easily and for what? A man who wouldn’t ever stand up for her the way Mike had just stood up for Jessie. A man who wouldn’t marry her without being pushed. A man she couldn’t depend on. A man she would never be sure of.
It wasn’t too late. She could back out of it. Sean had been very interested in her. At least he’d been kind to her and always would be if they got back together. The kindness of men was something she’d had little experience of. Why had she run away from it when it had been offered to her? Why had she preferred Gary’s casual attitude and unreliability to Sean’s dependable loyalty? Why did she accept Gary’s bad behaviour? What sort of a sad basket case was she?
Impulsively she looked in her diary for his number and dialled it. She heard his voice, deep and comforting, with his attractive, western accent.
‘Sean, hi, it’s me, Carol. I was just wondering if I could see you,’ she blurted. ‘I think I made a mistake. Could we talk?’
There was silence along the line and then she heard him say a little awkwardly, ‘Carol, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I’m seeing someone, as it happens. And I really like her. I don’t think it would be appropriate for us to meet.’
‘Oh,’ she said, her heart sinking like lead.
‘Maybe it’s wedding nerves,’ he said kindly.
‘Maybe it is. You’re probably right.’ She swallowed. ‘Forget I called. Bye.’ She hung up without waiting for him to answer. She felt humiliated beyond words. What had possessed her to make such a fool of herself? Tears smarted her eyes. He’d got over her pretty quickly. But that was men for you, wasn’t it? You couldn’t depend on any of them.
* * *
‘Hi, Katie, Jessie not home yet?’ Mike poked his head into the sitting-room.
‘Nope, she was on an OB, wasn’t she? She shouldn’t be too late though.’
‘Oh yeah, I forgot she was on an outside broadcast. I’ll ring her mobile in a minute and see where she is,’ Mike said distractedly. ‘Katie, I don’t know if I’ve done something I shouldn’t have,’ he said slowly, plonking down on the sofa beside her.
‘What have you done?’ she asked in alarm, turning to look at him.
‘I had a word with Carol. I’ve just come from there.’
‘What!’ Katie eyed him warily. ‘And?’
‘When I saw how upset Jessie was after the weekend I just got mad. I called in on Carol tonight and told her where to get off. I told her she didn’t appreciate how much of a sacrifice Jessie had made so that she could have her fucking double wedding. Basically I went to town on her. Maybe I was a bit over the top. A bit too heavy.’ He rubbed his hand over his stubbly jaw.
‘Mike, unfortunately, knowing Carol as long as I’ve known her, you could never be too heavy with her and that’s saying a lot. But well done. That girl needed a good talking-to. I know she’s got problems, but we all have and we don’t take it out on our friends. She’s hijacked your wedding; it’s time she was told where to get off, so don’t feel a bit sorry that you had it out with her. She had it coming.
‘And you know something?’ she said wryly. ‘It’s not going to make the slightest bit of difference. That’s the nature of the beast unfortunately. Me, me, me.’
‘Do you think I should tell Jessie?’ he asked.
‘Perhaps six months down the line, just so she’ll know what a Sir Galahad you are, but right now, no. She has enough on her plate, and besides she’s feeling a tad guilty for mouthing off about Carol’s mother,’ Katie advised. ‘Look, just think – this day two weeks you’ll be in Wales, riding each other ragged, with not a care in the world. Keep that thought for the next few days and you’ll be fine.’
‘You’re a great old pal, Katie, thanks a lot.’ Mike leaned over and gave her a hug. ‘And you look a million dollars. Big date?’
‘You bet. Here’s Jessie. Mum’s the word.’
‘Hi, Mike. Hi, Katie.’ Jessie greeted them wearily, kicking off her shoes. ‘I’m whacked. Imagine, this is my last night sleeping here – it’s sad, isn’t it?’
‘Sadder for me than for you,’ Katie said. ‘Eileen Kelly from work is going to move in after the wedding.’
‘You don’t look sad, you look fantastic. Another date? Who is this guy you’ve been seeing?’
‘Yeah! Are you going to introduce us? I need to give him the once-over to see if he’s suitable for you,’ Mike teased. ‘Are you going to bring him to the wedding?’
The doorbell rang.
‘Good timing.’ Katie jumped up, beaming.
‘Bring him to the wedding,’ Jessica urged.
‘I don’t think so.’ Katie grinned. ‘Be back in a sec.’
Moments later she walked into the room followed by Sean Ryan.
‘Oh my God!’ gasped Jessica. ‘You rip! Imagine not telling me.’
‘Hi, Jessie. How’s things, Mike?’ Sean looked somewhat embarrassed.
‘Hey, buddy, good to see ya,’ Mike exclaimed, delighted for Katie. ‘So you finally got together.’
‘What do you mean by that?’ Katie demanded.
‘I thought the pair of you were perfect for each other,’ Mike declared matter-of-factly.
‘It’s funny the way things work out.’ Katie smiled up at Sean, her eyes alight with happiness.
‘I think you should come to the wedding,’ Jessica said impulsively.
‘I don’t think so, Jessie. If it was just you and Mike I’d love to, but Gary and I didn’t exactly part on the friendliest of terms. It might cause tension,’ Sean said diplomatically.
‘Tsk! It’s an awful shame,’ Jessica said crossly.
‘We’ll go out for dinner some night when you’re back from your honeymoon and have a good night out,’ Sean promised.
‘We’ll have plenty of nights out. You and Katie can come down and stay with us in Greystones,’ Mike said, pleased at the unexpected turn of events.
‘Yeah, Katie was telling me you’re moving into a flat there. Nice part of the country,’ Sean approved.
‘We only got news of it last Friday – we went down, had a look and decided on it. I moved in while herself was dossing in Kilkenny.’ He grinned at Jessica.
‘It wasn’t our first choice, and the flat’s not as modern as the cottage we loved, but it’ll do us fine for a while,’ Jessica explained.
‘It sounds nice to me and at least it’s near the sea,’ Katie said, slipping her hand into Sean’s.
‘We’ll have some great weekends there, all of us, won’t we, Jessie?’ Mike dropped his arm around her shoulder.
She snuggled in against him. ‘We sure will,’ she agreed.
‘Look, Katie and I were going out to dinner. Why don’t I ring the restaurant and change the booking
for four and you could join us?’ Sean looked at Katie. ‘OK with you?’
‘Yeah, come on,’ she urged. ‘Let’s make your last night in Dublin one to remember.’
Jessica and Mike looked at each other and laughed.
‘Why not?’ Mike agreed. ‘Go get your gladrags on, woman. And I’ll have a quick shower and shave.’
‘And we’ll open a bottle of wine while we’re waiting,’ Katie proposed, delighted with the revised plan.
* * *
‘Isn’t it great about Katie and Sean?’ Jessica said as she slid into bed beside Mike.
‘They’re perfect for each other,’ he yawned, putting his arm around her as they spooned together.
‘It was a terrific night, wasn’t it? I really enjoyed myself. He’s great fun.’ Jessica stroked his arm. ‘It was very relaxing in their company.’
‘Hmm, compared to another couple I know,’ Mike remarked acidly.
‘It’s a pity he can’t come to the wedding. Carol will probably go mad when she finds out Katie’s dating Sean,’ Jessica murmured.
‘Tough. She had her chance with him, she’ll just have to get over herself,’ Mike retorted. ‘Go to sleep, we’ve a busy day tomorrow. I think we’ll need a juggernaut to transport all your worldly goods.’
‘Stop exaggerating,’ Jessica said drowsily, but Mike didn’t hear her. He was fast asleep.
* * *
Sean lay in bed wishing he hadn’t refused Katie’s invitation to stay the night. He’d been tempted, but he’d prefer to have her all to himself the first time they slept together. It had been a very enjoyable night out. All four of them had gelled together really well and there had been a lot of laughter.
Katie had been giving him the rundown on the events leading up to the wedding, and it was clear Mike and Jessica had needed to unwind and relax. Well, they had that, helped by gallons of beer and wine. Sean grinned in the dark.
His thoughts turned to Carol. Her phone call had been a real shock and totally unexpected. He wondered if he should have met her for a chat. If he was seeing someone other than Katie he might have considered it. But under the circumstances, it was all a bit complicated. Especially as Katie didn’t want Carol and Gary knowing about them until after the wedding.
‘Just for an easy life,’ she’d said when he’d asked her why.
If Carol thought she’d made a mistake she should back out before it was too late. Maybe he’d just text her and say so. Cowardly perhaps, but he didn’t want to get involved. Katie wouldn’t be happy if he did.
He smiled, thinking of Katie. She was such fun and so uncomplicated, a far different kettle of fish from poor old Carol. With Katie you knew precisely where you stood and he liked that. Carol sounded so lonely and mournful though. He couldn’t go behind Katie’s back and meet her. She’d freak if she ever found out and Carol would surely let her know at some stage. The best he could do was text or phone. He’d do it tomorrow, first thing, and get it over with.
Troubled, Sean twisted and turned for ages until he finally fell asleep.
37
‘Home sweet home,’ Mike declared, as Jessica folded up the last of her black plastic sacks. Their new home was the upstairs floor of a large, red-brick Georgian house that had panoramic views of the sea and coast. The sitting-room was a fine airy room, with big sash windows that allowed the light to flood in. It was decorated in shades of cream and gold. A big chintz sofa, two armchairs and a coffee table completed the furnishing.
The bedroom at the front, which they had decided to have as their room, had a double bed with a pine headboard, pine wardrobe and dressing-table unit and, to Jessica’s delight, a window seat in the big sash window. She could see herself curled up with a book in the winter, watching the mists sweep in off the sea, or watching the sun sparkle on turquoise waters on a hot sunny day.
They both liked Greystones, with its homely, seaside ambience, restaurants and shops. And while both of them would have to commute, it wasn’t too daunting for either of them. Jessica would be able to take the train to the city if she wished, which was an option she certainly intended to use on Fridays in particular.
She finished placing her books on the shelves in the alcoves on either side of the fireplace, and that little personal touch made her feel much more at home.
‘I can get some terracotta lamps for the sitting-room so we won’t have to use that awful middle light. And a pair of yellow lamps would make our bedroom much more cosy, and I can get some yellow and blue quilt covers and throws to dress the bed.’ Jessica planned happily as she moved into their bedroom. ‘Pity the kitchen’s pretty basic—’
‘But you don’t have to worry about that,’ Mike joked. ‘I’ll be doing most of the cooking.’
‘You’ll probably be home before me most nights, you won’t have to deal with as much traffic as I will, buster,’ Jessica retorted. ‘I’ll need to be fed.’
‘You will be, don’t worry.’ Mike put their tennis rackets up on top of the wardrobe.
‘It was a pity about the cottage, wasn’t it?’ Jessica said regretfully, staring at the by now bulging wardrobe. ‘There was so much space in it.’
‘We’ve a lot more space here than we would have had in the town house in Bray and that apartment we looked at in Loughlinstown,’ Mike pointed out.
‘It’s definitely the best of what we’ve seen since,’ agreed Jessica, filling the top drawer of the dressing-table with her underwear. ‘And Greystones is lovely. That little coffee shop on the main street does fabulous soups and breads.’
‘And we’ll be able to go for walks by the sea, and maybe do some hill-walking. It will be great, we’ll settle down in no time.’ Mike pulled her down on to the bed and kissed her.
‘We haven’t time for this.’ Jessica pushed him away breathlessly a few minutes later.
‘Come on, let’s christen the bed and make ourselves really at home.’ Mike slid his hand up under her T-shirt and began caressing her breasts.
‘Aw, Mike, that’s not fair,’ Jessica murmured. ‘You know I can’t say no when you start to do things to me.’
‘Don’t say no then,’ he said huskily, silencing her with a kiss, his hands tracing a feathery path up along the inside of her thigh, making her ache with want.
‘Mike, Mike,’ she whispered, unbuckling his belt. ‘Don’t stop . . . ’
‘I don’t want to get up now,’ Jessica said sleepily half an hour later as she lay nestled in against him. It had started to rain. The weather had broken, and they could see through the big sash window that the sea in the distance was a choppy, churning pewter. The rain lashed against the windowpane and the wind whistled and keened outside.
‘We could have a snooze and go out to dinner later,’ Mike suggested. ‘After all, it’s our first day in our new home, what better way to spend it than making love and cuddling? We’ve put away all your stuff, what else did you want to do?’
‘We were going to drive over to Mam’s to collect the wedding presents that are at home.’ Jessica gave a jawbreaker of a yawn.
‘We’ll go at the weekend,’ he suggested.
‘OK, I’m knackered anyway – I don’t want to go anywhere.’ Jessie curled in closer and was asleep in seconds.
* * *
Sean sat in his car and stared at his mobile phone. He should call Carol; he’d been putting it off all day. She deserved that much friendship from him. He’d brushed her off too casually yesterday, he thought guiltily.
Taking a deep breath, he scrolled to ‘received calls’ and found her number. He selected the dial option and waited, half hoping it would go into ‘message’ and he could get away with leaving one.
‘Hello,’ she said briskly.
‘Carol, hi, it’s Sean. I was just wondering how you were? I was thinking about you last night and I just wanted to say to you, if you really do feel you’ve made a mistake don’t go ahead with it. It would be much better to back out of it now rather than further down the line. And much less expen
sive too,’ he advised, hoping he didn’t sound as rattled as he felt.
There was a strained silence.
‘I’m fine, Sean. It was pre-wedding nerves like you said. Sorry for troubling you,’ she said, her tone as brittle as cracking ice.
‘It was no trouble, Carol. I was glad that you felt you could phone me,’ he said quietly.
‘Look, I have to go, I’m having a fitting for my wedding dress. Thanks for calling, bye.’ She hung up, not waiting for him to answer.
Sean stared at his phone. ‘That was a disaster, mate,’ he muttered. Why did he feel so guilty? Why did he feel that he had let her down? She had dumped him, for crying out loud. Annoyed, he started up the engine and headed for home.
* * *
‘Patronizing git,’ Carol muttered, putting her phone back in her bag. Who did Sean Ryan think he was, ringing her up and pretending to be concerned about her? He’d been pretty quick to let her know he was seeing someone. She didn’t need his sympathy or advice. As far as she was concerned he could get lost. She’d never be contacting Garda Sean Ryan again.
‘Now, dear, here’s your dress. You look as if you’ve lost some weight since you bought it, not surprising, most brides do, all the arranging and so on,’ the bridal assistant twittered as she pulled the curtains across the cubicle and hung Carol’s dress on the hook.
She fussed around Carol, tweaking and arranging the dress so that it fell in elegant folds around her feet. ‘Perhaps get it taken in at the waist. It’s a little loose,’ she murmured, stepping back to have a critical look at the bride-to-be. ‘Hmm,’ she murmured. ‘I’ll just go and get a few pins.’
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