by Harper Sloan
I’m about to pull my fucking hair out.
It isn’t even a big party. All the guys are coming, and last time I checked, even Maddox is bringing a date. Emmy has been here since Izzy left, helping me set up the streamers and balloons. Dee’s current boy toy, and newest ‘piss off Beck’ ploy—is here helping also. I don’t know him very well, but Izzy says that he is nice enough. I wish those two would stop their fucking games and just admit that they want to be together. I’ve talked to Beck a few times about it, but he would just change the subject and say that it wasn’t his idea. I think I understand where Dee is coming from, but I am sick of playing monkey in the middle.
“Where’s Locke?” I ask. Doesn’t matter who answers me at this point.
“He went to pick up Daisy,” Emmy says softly next to my side. “Or maybe it was Candy.” She smirks and walks away.
I shake my head, thinking, once again, it would be nice if someone stopped making me feel like I am stuck in the middle.
Walking back into our living room, I push aside the balloons that seem to be floating in every direction and stand in front of the fireplace. Hanging dead center is the picture I gave Izzy for Christmas. Immediately, a sense of calm rushes through my body. I take a deep breath and remember what the point of this massive headache is.
My girl.
My girl and returning her birthday to a day of happiness and not one of heartbreak.
With a new determination, I turn and walk back to out to the porch, where we are finishing up with the decorations.
There are pink and white balloons flying from every available banister. The path down to our dock is lined with torches, and there are lights streaming from the branches of the trees that line our yard. It looks like it is raining white lights.
Emmy spent hours littering the yard with pink and red rose pedals. Coop and Beck had a good laugh over the roses. Laugh all they want, but when they find their women, they will be pulling out all the stops to make sure that life is perfect, too.
We set up tables across the yard and to the side for all the food. My backyard has been transformed into a princess’s dream. I can’t wait to see her face when she takes it all in.
“Greg!” I snap, yelling into the house for him. “Any word on those motherfuckers with the food?” This is what I get for hiring out a big company to cook some fancy shit. Should have stuck with Heavy’s. It is all she craves these days anyway.
Fuck, Heavy’s!
I cut him off before he can even open his mouth. “Call those assholes and tell them since they couldn’t show up on time to forget about it. Coop, get your ass in the truck and drive to Heavy’s. Buy the place out. Everything you can think of and get it here.” I throw my wallet at him and turn back to Greg’s smiling face. “What the fuck are you smiling at?”
He holds his hands up and walks off laughing.
“You need to calm down. I haven’t heard you this uptight since last fall,” Emmy says, sneaking up to my side again. I swear that chick floats. She is always popping up out of nowhere.
“I am calm.” I’m not calm. I’m losing my fucking mind.
My girl is sad, trying hard to keep it hidden, and I can’t fix it. My son refuses to come out, and if one more thing goes wrong today, I’m going to say fuck it and kidnap my woman and drag her up to the bedroom. At least I know I can keep her happy there.
“You aren’t calm, but you will be,” she says before she vanishes again.
I look around for her before I stomp back in the house and grab a beer.
By the time Dee calls to tell us that they are leaving the salon, things have finally calmed down. Coop gets back with so much food that it looks like he has, in fact, ordered everything Heavy’s has to offer. Locke has finally arrived and gotten the rest of the sound system running. Emmy is running around, making sure all the tables have flower arrangements and that all the bubble machines are still hidden from sight but functioning. Coop is somewhere with his date and Beck is bringing out all the coolers with drinks and dragging them down to the yard.
You can’t see the lights yet but the torches are lit and the rose pedals against the green grass make it look like there is a blanket of pink and red. The balloons are rocking back and forth in the slight breeze. It is perfect.
Nothing else could go wrong today.
“They’re pulling up the driveway!” I hear Greg yell through the house.
We pulled all the cars behind the garage and down a little ways on the property. She won’t see them from where she would park. If she comes through the garage, she won’t notice the balloons invading the living room either.
“Be right back,” I say, handing my beer to Locke before walking into the house.
I wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts and walk into the kitchen to get my girl. She comes walking out of the garage looking like the angel I’ve always thought she was. She’s wearing a long white dress that hugs her tits and large belly. It flows around the rest of her body, making it look like she is walking on air. Her skin is still glowing from all the time we spent down at the lake this summer. Sway did whatever it is that Sway does on her hair and it is hanging long, thick with curls.
“You look beautiful.”
“You don’t look that bad yourself, baby,” she says, walking into my arms and giving me a kiss. I can feel my son rolling against my stomach.
“Feeling okay, Princess?”
“I’m feeling great. Sway pampered me good. He even made one of the shampoo boys massage my feet!”
I bite back the displeasure I feel about another man with his hands on my woman. She needs today to be perfect and my being a possessive ass won’t help.
“Can Dee stay for dinner? I told her we were going to grill out and she said she would love to spend some more time with me.”
“Sure, baby.” I give Dee a hug and start walking Izzy out to the deck.
I hear her gasp from behind me when her eyes take in everything in front of her. Our friends all yell, “Surprise!” and I feel her jump through our joined hands. Her hand squeezes mine tightly and I go to turn around. She looks shocked but not about her surroundings.
“Um . . . Axel?” I hear Dee call back from inside the house. She is standing behind Izzy and looking down at the ground with an odd expression across her face.
“Yeah?”
“Oh boy,” she says, looking up to meet my eyes, and I note the apprehension.
Izzy squeezes my hand, harder this time, and whispers my name. “Axel?” It comes out so light I almost miss it.
Shit, she must hate it.
“Baby?” she tries again.
I turn to look into her eyes and frown when I see sweat beginning to gather around her temples and worry lines across her forehead. “Izzy, what’s wrong?”
“HOLY SHIT HER WATER BROKE!” I hear Greg yell from behind me.
I look down, and sure enough, there is a small puddle of water between her feet. Her handle on my hand hasn’t lightened up, and I know that my girl is in pain.
She gives a small, strained nod and waits a few seconds for the contraction to ease up before opening her eyes and looking into my own.
“He’s coming,” she whispers with a brilliant smile.
Everything moves fast from there. I quickly usher her out to the car. We had stopped using the truck months ago when it became too uncomfortable for her to get in and out. Dee and Greg run to his truck and the rest of the gang files out. Emmy yells that she will stay behind, make sure everything is turned off, and meet us at the hospital. I don’t care. Let the house burn down. My son is on his way.
We make it to the hospital in good time, but by the time we arrive, Izzy is in more pain than before. Her contractions are coming quick and she keeps screaming out in pain. It kills me to hear her hurting and know there is nothing I can do about it. I start telling her how much I love her and try to reassure her with my words until she looks over at me with fire in her eyes and tells me to shut the fuck up. As soon as the wor
ds leave her mouth, she is apologizing. My poor girl. If I could do this for her, I would in a heartbeat.
I pull up to the front of the hospital and, without even shutting off the car, sprint over to her side and carry her inside.
Someone will move the car. If they don’t, then they can tow it. There is no way I’m leaving my girl.
They get us checked in and into a room quickly. Izzy is hooked up to a million different monitors and machines. I’m told that they all monitor her and our son, but I am too busy worrying about her to even pay attention to the nurses. They seem to think we have all the time in the world. Why isn’t anyone doing something? Anything!
We have been here for about an hour when she lets out the loudest tortured cry. The sound stops my heart, and I look around frantically for help. The nurses all spring into action and start shoving the bed around, turning on different machines and barking orders at me.
I hold Izzy’s hand and try to help her, but looking at her beautiful face breaking down in agony is almost too much.
“You’re doing great, Princess. He’ll be here soon.”
She tries to give me a smile but it’s cut off when she lets out another scream.
“You’re fully dilated, ma’am. Let’s have a birthday.”
Izzy starts pushing at the doctor’s commands and I start slowly dying inside. My girl . . . I can’t handle her being in this much pain. My mental distress for her continues, but I try to hide it and be the support she needs. I rub her forehead with the wet cloth one nurse thrusted into my hands. I curl my arm around her back and help her lean into her pushes, holding hold her leg open with my other arm.
Thirty minutes later, at the end of a long push, I hear the most magical sound I have ever heard. My son is taking his first breath and letting out a loud, healthy cry.
“Would you like to cut the cord, Daddy?” the doctor asks.
I nod my head lamely and take the scissors. The nurses take him off to the side after I finish.
I look down at Izzy and kiss her forehead. She meets my gaze and, with tears in her eyes, says, “Hey, Daddy.” That is all it takes for me to drop a few tears of my own.
“Thank you, Princess. You’ve made me the luckiest man in the universe.”
We both watch in awe as the nurses weigh and measure our son and bundle him up tight in a blue blanket. His head is covered with a tiny blue hat. They place him into Izzy’s arms. Seeing her there with our son makes my skin break out in chills and my heart speeds up.
“Perfect,” she whispers. I look down into her face and think that she is not wrong.
He has a tiny round and chubby face. His lips are small and form a perfect bow. He makes little mewing sounds and puckers his lips, showing off a dimple in his right cheek. I lift the cap up and see a full head of jet-black hair.
“He looks just like you, Axel.” And he does.
We sit there until the doctor is done cleaning her up and the nurses start leaving to go make another couple as happy as we are.
This moment right here makes every day we were apart worth it.
Complete. I feel complete.
Leaning down, kissing my son softly on his small head, and breathing in his baby scent has me choking on my emotions again.
“We’ve been waiting on you. Just as perfect as we knew you would be. Love you, little man.” I kiss him once more before moving my lips to Izzy’s. I kiss her twice before kissing away each tear that has escaped her eyes. “Love you so much, Princess.”
Izzy
Watching Axel fall in love with his son is the most beautiful moment.
“I love you too, baby. So much.”
Axel has refused to leave our side to go tell everyone that the baby is here. We have just been moved into our private room when they start filing in. I’m impressed they made it that long. I’m starting to get tired, but the desire for our friends to meet our son keeps me from falling asleep.
“Oh my lord! Look at him! He is perfect!” Dee says with an excited whisper.
Congratulations are thrown around, and we enjoy sharing this moment with our family. Each and every one of the most important people in our lives is here. I am watching Axel hold our son close to his chest and thinking that he looks like a little football in Axel’s large arms when I hear someone ask what his name is. Axel looks over at me with a smile and gives a small shake of his head.
I look over and meet each one of our friends’ faces when I announce, “Nathaniel Gregory Reid.” When I reach Greg’s eyes, the tears gathering in the corners shock me for a second.
He walks over and gives me a small kiss on the top of my head. “Thank you, baby girl. That means the world . . . means the world to me.”
I smile at him and wipe my eyes dry.
Axel comes over and hands me Nate before climbing into the bed next to me. We all sit there and enjoy the moment until the baby starts to cry. Axel looks worried, but I lean over and whisper in his ear that it’s time to feed him. With some quick (Maddox, Beck, and Coop) and reluctant (Dee and Greg) goodbyes, our family leaves and Axel comes back over to me. He puts his arm around my shoulders and I lean into his body, settling Nate so that Axel can look down into his angelic face with me.
When I settle Nate on my breast and feel him give the first timid pull, I smile down at him and think to myself that fate finally loves me. Fate is welcoming me into her arms and shining her bright rays of love onto our family.
It doesn’t take me long to drift off to sleep, safe in Axel’s embrace with the gift of our love in my arms.
THE END
Keep reading for some deleted scenes from Axel.
NAMING THE BABY
“Are you happy?”
The question seems so bizarre coming from her lips. Does she really doubt my happiness?
“You must be out of your mind, Princess, if you for one second think I’m not.”
I look up and meet her green eyes from where my head is resting on her lap. My fingers are still caressing her swollen stomach, every few seconds getting a solid kick in return. Almost as if my boy is letting me know that he feels me.
Every time I look at her and see her body changing with our child, I almost lose my mind. It feels like my heart might burst. This is all part of the dream we shared all those years ago, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified that it will all just vanish.
“Seriously, Axel. I can’t help but wonder what life would be like if we hadn’t lost all those years. I almost feel guilty being as happy as I am, knowing how much we lost.”
Without breaking eye contact, I fold myself up and take her face between my hands. “Izzy, no doubt we were dealt a shit hand . . . to start with. But we found each other again. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can take this happiness from us. Me, you, our son, and any other children we have.”
I press my lips against hers briefly, but with just enough strength that she starts pulling me more firmly against her. We both laugh when we feel our son kick. His strong kicks against my stomach feel a hell of a lot different against my hands.
“Come here, Princess. This little man needs a name.” I go to pull her towards me but pause when I see her bite her lip. “Izzy? What’s going on up there?” I tap her temple lightly and smile, knowing that whatever is rolling around up there has been weighing heavy.
“I’ve been thinking . . .” She trails off and looks away. “I don’t just want to name him anything. I don’t know how to explain it, Ax. I want his name to have meaning. Something strong that will always remind us of how blessed we are. Does that make sense?”
God, I love this woman.
“Yeah, babe. I get it. I’ve been thinking the same thing. Hear me out, okay?” She nods her head a few times, her eyes shining brightly with excitement. “The other day, I was looking up names and came across one I think will be perfect.” I pause for a second and wait for her nod of approval before continuing. “So, I found one of those sites that have baby names and their meanings. There was one
that means ‘God given,’ and babe, with everything we’ve been through and overcome, if this little guy isn’t a sign of God giving us one hell of a blessing, I don’t know what is.”
In all honesty, the second I saw the name, I knew—that is my son’s name. That is it. I always knew that Izzy was my blessing, my reward for my shit life. But this little miracle we made? That is OUR blessing. Our gift from God for overcoming and surviving everything he threw at us.
“Okay, well? What is it?” She is literally vibrating with excitement. She gets it. I shouldn’t have doubted she would.
“Nathaniel,” I reply and wait. It’s a few seconds’ worth of her blinking her watery eyes at me rapidly before she lets out a breathy echo, repeating my word.
“It’s perfect, Ax. Our gift—Nathaniel.”
“One more, babe. His middle name. I don’t think I need to explain this one but I will. For too many years, I wasn’t there to protect you. I wasn’t there to pick up the pieces when you needed me either. But Greg was. Baby, I don’t know any other way to honor that than to give Nathaniel one hell of a namesake. What do you think—Nathaniel Gregory?”
At this point, I doubt she even registers my words. Tears are falling fast and she is sobbing quietly. But after all of that, her smile is blinding.Yeah, my girl got me.
“Nathaniel Gregory Reid. I love it. Our son, our gift, and our blessing,” She whispers between choked sobs.
“Love you, Princess.”
“Love you too, Axel.”
THE DOCK REVISITED
“Baby?”
I’ve been searching through the house for the last fifteen minutes, looking for my boys. I swear Axel does this just to see me laugh when I finally find them.
“Axel Reid, you come out now . . . I missed my boys today.” Shaking my head in fake exasperation, I continue down the stairs with my soft laughter trailing behind me. “Nate baby? Mama’s home. Where is my handsome little man?”