by Harper Sloan
I try to answer him, but I can feel my mind start to panic. My lungs burn, and my hands are desperately struggling against him, but are quickly losing strength. I try to communicate with my eyes that I understand him, but he just keeps tightening his hold, squeezing me so forcefully that I feel like my throat is about to snap in two. My arms and legs start to flap around helplessly, as I attempt to gain just a breath of air.
After another few seconds closer to eternity, he lets go, and I drop roughly to the floor. As I gag and gasp to breathe, tears stream down my face, and my throat burns like I’ve swallowed a ball of fire.
He gives my fallen body a swift kick right in the ribs, which snap with a sickening crack. “I wouldn’t think about crossing me. I know all about you. I mean every single thing about you. I know all about your little friends, too, and I’m not even slightly worried about those dumbasses. I’ve got to hand it to you; I never thought you would show up before I had a chance to cover my tracks.”
When he goes to grab me again I pull my body in tight and scream. Big mistake on my part, because all it does is piss him off more.
“Shut the fuck up, bitch!” Unfortunately for me, I don’t have the strength to block the blow that hits me right in the temple, and instantly, everything around me fades into darkness. I try to fight it, but when my vision starts going, I know that I’m at his mercy. I just hope that he gets bored with me and stops. I’m not ready to die. I have things I want to do. People I need to set things right with. And a man that I know would be devastated if this was my end.
My last thought before everything goes blank is how badly I want to live, and if I make it through this, I’ll do everything in my power to learn how to let love in.
CHAPTER 11
Dee
When I start to feel the tugs of awareness, the first thing I notice is a shrill sound. The annoying beeping that won’t shut the hell up. I try to move my arms to find the offending noise, but they don’t move. When I attempt to open my eyes, nothing happens. I go through the checklist, trying to make something, anything, respond to my mental command. Nothing. I lay there trying to come up with a reason why I can’t feel anything, can’t move anything, and can’t see anything. Nothing.
I can hear the beeping start to pick up as my mind continues to panic. With every rapid burst, my mind and body start to freak out even more. I want to scream, but nothing happens. Right when I think my panic might be too much for me to control, I feel something cold hit my arms, and in seconds my heart calms, and my mind goes blissfully blank.
The blackness returns, and I fly off to dream again. This time, Beck’s here, smirking with his beautiful full lips and his brown eyes darkened with desire. My smile comes easy when I realize he’s here. He’s always here when I need him. I don’t waste a second before I rush into his arms and soak in his strength.
My last thought before I let my dream carry me away is that I’m so happy that his arms are holding me tight again. I’ve denied us this for so long, and even though he understands why, he still doesn’t deserve it. When his lips touch mine, I want to cry out against the unfairness, but the blackness clouds my vision again, and I fly away.
* * *
That damn beep is back.
What the hell is that noise?
After attempting and failing to move my body, I take a deep breath and try to figure out what’s going on and why I’m unable to move. I can hear a voice somewhere in the room, so I direct all my attention on that and try my hardest to pick up on something that might be useful.
With every fiber of my being, I strain and concentrate, but only manage to pick up a word here and there. “ . . . asleep still . . . days . . . haven’t caught . . . should call her family . . . optimistic . . . should come.” I try to focus some more, but it’s taken so much of my energy just to understand those twelve stupid words. I want to weep when the fear seeps into my bones. I have no clue what’s happening, or where I am. The last thing I remember is going into the office and getting that stupid email from my mother.
I try to keep my mind alert long enough to figure out what the hell is going on, but after only a few moments, I’m flying away again towards the darkness.
* * *
God! Every single part of my body hurts. My head is pounding like I’ve just come off a weeklong bender, my throat and lungs burn with every breath I take, my arms and legs feel as if I’ve just worked out at that torturous spin class Izzy likes to drag me to, and oddly enough, even my hair hurts.
What the hell?
After accessing my body, and realizing that yes, every inch does in fact hurt, I fixate on the sounds around me. I can hear voices again, but this time I know who they are. Or at least I think I do. I definitely recognize Maddox’s low growl. It takes me a second to place Coop’s voice, though. He doesn’t sound like his normal playful self. Chelcie’s voice is the next one I catch, talking in a rushed low tone; I think she sounds scared, but I can’t understand her words clearly enough to be certain.
Just when I think that I know all the players in the room, one more voice speaks up, and my heart stops in my chest for a minute before it picks up speed. I don’t even need to have my eyes open to know he’s sitting right next to me. Now that I’m becoming more aware of my surroundings, I can feel him. Not just the warmth on my arm and hand, but I can feel his energy in the room. The ever-present love and strength is pouring all over me like a warm blanket. But I also feel his darkness, that vibe of menacing violence that is just itching to come out. He’s pissed and trying to contain it.
I try to remember what happened that could cause this type of reaction from him, but my mind keeps coming up with a big fat nothing. It’s there, the answers that I need, but they are just out of reach.
“She’ll wake up when she’s ready, so I’d appreciate it if you would stop talking about her like we need to start planning her goddamn funeral.” Beck’s snarl shocks me for a second until his words penetrate my brain. Why would they think I’m dying?
I want to cry out and scream that I’m awake, I’m here, and everything is going be okay, but when I open my mouth, nothing comes out but a strangled choke. I feel the vibe in the room change instantly when they realize I’m waking up. The waves of sadness, anger, and confusion dissipate, and a burst of joy and relief zaps through my body.
“Shh, it’s okay, Baby. Let me call the nurse and have her come check you out. I don’t know if I can give you any water, so let me go get her.”
I grab his hand with what little strength I have when he goes to move away from me. Tightening my weak fingers around his hand, I desperately hope he understands that I don’t want him to leave my side. My eyes refuse to budge, so I slowly turn my head to where I think he is. Opening my mouth, I try to tell him not to leave me, but that sickening noise comes out again.
“Dee, please don’t try and talk. I’m not leaving, I’m right here. Coop, go get the nurse.” I feel him move closer from where he must have been standing, his free hand brushing against my hairline. “I’m not leaving,” he vows.
The energy around me goes still, and he continues to murmur in my ear. I can’t tell what he’s saying because he’s speaking too low, but it’s still comforting. His soothing tones calm my out of control heart in seconds.
“Well, I see sleeping beauty decided to wake for her prince, after all. My name is Destiny; we’ve been waiting for you. I’m going to move your bed up slightly so that I can move the straw into your mouth. Okay, Honey?”
When the nurse’s soft voice starts explaining to me why I hurt, I start to panic again. What the hell happened to me?
“All right, Honey, open up and let’s see if we can get you talking. Your throat’s going to hurt, but let’s see what we can do. That’s it, small and slow sips.”
When I get enough to make my throat feel less like I’ve decided to eat sandpaper and closer to a dull throb, I unlatch my lips from the straw.
“That’s good, that’s good. Can you tell me your name
, Honey?”
“D-de-nise.” My voice causes me to jump slightly. A low moan of pain escapes, and I try to calm my breathing when the pain gets a little too intense.
“I’ll get you something for that pain in just a second, okay? You’re doing great.” I hear as she moves around the room, and then places a cuff on my arm. When it finishes its tight squeeze, she reads my blood pressure out loud.
I try for a few seconds to calm myself down by taking shallow breaths. My right eye finally cracks open, and I take in the room around me. My nurse, a beautiful woman with skin as dark as night and hair back in a tight bun, is still moving around the edge of the bed. I can see Maddox, Coop, and Chelcie in the corner by the window. Maddox has both of his thick arms crossed tightly over his large chest. His face is hard, but I can tell by the slight tick in his jaw that he isn’t holding his emotions in as well as he would like. No, he’s pissed. To my shock, Coop has Chelcie wrapped tightly in his arms, slightly rubbing her back.
When my eye finally hits the worried, dark gaze of the man sitting by my bed, I want to cry. His eyes are red, and I can tell he’s either been without sleep, or he’s been crying, and I desperately hope he just hasn’t slept. His brows are drawn in tight, his lips are pressed into a line, and his thick brown hair is mussed and standing in a million directions. Even looking as terrible as he does right now, he still is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.
“Everything looks great, Honey. I’m going to get you some more medication for your pain. It’s going to make you sleepy, so let me get the doctor to explain what’s going on before you turn into Sleeping Beauty again.”
My eyes never leave Beck’s face.
“That’s right. This prince of yours hasn’t left your side once, so I imagine I wouldn’t want to stop looking at him either.” She lets out a soft giggle before I hear her slip from the room.
I try to offer him a small reassuring smile, but it must fall flat because his eyes look even more pained. He leans in and kisses my forehead softly right before I hear footsteps next to my bed again. I turn my head from Beck’s worried face and focus on the new arrival. She’s wearing a white coat, so I’m only assuming this is my doctor. She puts me instantly at ease with her calm smile, but it’s her eyes that make me feel like I’m in good hands. She has the kindest eyes.
“Hello there. I’m Dr. Knott. I understand you just woke up?”
“About thirty minutes ago, ma’am.” Beck speaks, and I’m thankful that I don’t have to try out my voice again.
“Good, good. I understand there was an incident at your office, and I know that the police have been waiting for you to wake to speak to you, but I think I can hold them off for a few days. You need your rest. We’re going to keep you on the pain meds for at least another day or so, and let your body get a little better before we take the good stuff from you.” She smiles again and pats the arm opposite of the one that Beck is rubbing softly. “You have a few bruised ribs, but luckily nothing broken there. Your eye, the left one, is going to look and feel a lot worse than it is, but in a few days, the swelling should go down enough for you to be able to open it. We do want to make sure that you aren’t having issues with your vision, so we will need to check it. There are a few other bruises and bumps, but right now, we’re keeping an eye on your head to make sure the swelling stays down. You’re a lucky girl; by the looks of it, it could have been a lot worse.”
She continues to explain various things about healing and home care, but I’m too busy taking in everything she just told me. Beck asks a few questions, but I don’t hear them. I just lay there in shock. She asks me a few more things that I weakly answer before she leaves the room with the promise of sending Destiny back in with my pain medication. The second the door closes, it’s as if the floodgates slam open, and all the memories, leading up to now, come rushing back. The office, no alarm, light on, the man . . . oh God, the man!
“Shh, Dee . . . Look at me. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” I turn and focus on him, trying to calm the rapid breathing that has my ribs screaming.
“Did you find him?”
He shakes his head, and when I hear a snarl from the side of the room, my eye shifts to Maddox, who looks as if he’s about to snap in half. Beck yells at him to either calm down or leave the room before making me look at him again. “It’s okay; I need you to believe me, Dee. We’re working on it, okay?” I see his eyes pleading with me . . . begging me not to close him out.
I take a few shallow breaths and focus on his eyes. “Okay. I trust you, Beck.”
His shoulders sag with my whispered words, and his eyes drop for a second before he looks back at me. I gasp when I see the moisture forming in his eyes.
“Thank you, God, thank you . . .” He leans up, kisses me lightly before sitting back down, and starts to rub my arm again. I can tell from the way his lips are pressed tight, and the slight flare of his nostrils, that he’s trying to compose himself.
Destiny comes back in the room, and she gives me the pain meds, and checks the machines one more time before leaving. I try to stay awake, afraid that if I fall asleep, I might not wake up again. Clearly understanding me better than I understand myself, Beck recognizes my reluctance to close my one good eye. He brings his face back to my ear and starts to whisper softly, again.
Between his deep voice speaking softly against my neck, and the strength I pull from just his touch, my eye starts to close, and my heart starts to calm. The last thing to filter through my mind as I listen to his voice is how lucky I am that he’s even here. It doesn’t even matter that I can’t even understand the words, he’s here. For everything that I’ve put him through, my depression and PTSD, and my stupid mind letting the past rule my present, he still hasn’t given up. If this isn’t proof of just how far he really will go to fight for me, then I don’t know what is.
I let his love wrap around me, and drift off to a dreamless sleep with the knowledge that when I wake up he’s still going to be here, and it’s up to me to fix this now.
CHAPTER 12
Beck
When the doctor finally told me she would be released, I want to actually hug the lady. For the last week, I’ve sat by her side, hoping and praying that I would finally get to take her home.
First, they wanted to keep her because of the swelling to her brain from repeated blows. God, just hearing them say that over and over had my body ready for a fight. When her head wasn’t the main worry, it seemed that her kidneys were. And finally, a few days ago, she stopped pissing blood. We would’ve been out of here before now, but they wanted to monitor her kidneys to make sure there wasn’t anything else going on.
I think we were all ready to get her out of this room and back to Georgia. Dee was starting to get frustrated with the constant poking by the staff and lack of good food. All I could do was smile, because even though she was here, she was fighting mad. The important part was that she’s here at all.
Being this far from home wasn’t ideal either. Having to keep everyone back there up to date with her progress had become more annoying than anything else. Somewhere around day seven, I finally passed the phone to Maddox around day seven and told him to keep them fucking happy. To be honest, I didn’t really give a shit about keeping anyone up to date.
I only have eyes for Dee, and all my focus is on keeping her comfortable and making sure that she feels safe. I look over at her sleeping face and I physically hurt when I see how swollen it still is.
When she finally opened her left eye two nights ago, just a crack, she announced that she could see. We all released the collective breath that we had been holding since the doctor had warned us there was a chance her vision could have been impaired from the injury.
Her eye really was the least severe of her wounds. There wasn’t much of her body that wasn’t covered in nasty black and purple bruises, right down to a few of her fingers.
I lean back in the chair that I’ve pulled up next to her bed, and let my mind think about the call
that we got Monday morning that all but stopped my heart.
When Maddox came bursting through my office door with enough force to literally rip it off the hinges, I knew something was wrong. All it took was one word—Dee—and I was out of my chair and following him out the door. Coop had already brought the truck around, and we hit the road from there.
He filled me in during the drive. Her assistant called his phone in a panic. She had come to work to find the whole office trashed. She would have missed Dee, but in her panic, she tripped over some overturned boxes. When she fell, she had a direct line of sight into the break room. By the time she had gotten to Dee’s side and called 911, she said she could barely find her pulse. That was the last update we got. I spent the rest of the car ride thinking that when I finally made it to her, she would already be gone. The unknown was bad enough, but when I couldn’t stop thinking about what I would do if she were taken from me, the crushing agony was almost too much to bear.
Now, here we are almost two weeks after her attack, and still no answers. Those first five days when she wouldn’t wake up were the worst. There was enough time for Maddox to fill us in on what he had been investigating for her. I was livid at first, but then I tried to put myself in her shoes, and slightly understood why she would go to Maddox. When she finally woke up enough to tell us what happened during the attack it still felt like we were playing with a deck that was missing half the cards. She didn’t know who the man was, and even if she knew how to find the employee he wanted, she didn’t even know how to get in contact with him.
The police came and got her statements, documented her injuries, and left with the promise that they would be investigating things. There wasn’t anything left behind to give us a single clue as to who did this.
The last call Maddox had with Greg, he filled him in on everything we knew. Our best hope was finding this Adam character, and hopefully, he would shed some light on this mess. I didn’t ask Maddox how that call went, and wasn’t sure I wanted to know. I logically knew that Greg couldn’t help when he didn’t know what was happening, but the other part of me, the one that wanted someone to blame, couldn’t stop the what ifs from hitting me hard. Knowing that he was probably just as upset as the rest of us was the only thing that kept me from lashing out.