by Harper Sloan
“Very funny. I’m here now, so let’s get started.”
“Where’s Maddox?” Coop asks, coming into the conference room with a box full of donuts. I reach out to take one, but before I grab it he slaps me on the hand like an unruly child. “Mine,” he growls.
“You’re so fucked up.” I laugh. I turn back to the group when they all start laughing. Everyone’s here except Maddox, and I can tell by the look Axel’s giving me that he didn’t know about this. Dammit. “Uh, Maddox isn’t coming because he’s with Dee.”
“Jesus Christ, are you serious? I get it, you wanting to make sure she’s safe. I really do. I can understand you being worried about her, but this is getting ridiculous. You’re gone for weeks, and hey, I can’t get pissed because you’re keeping your cases current and shit gets done, but now you have Maddox babysitting her so you can pop in and say fuck you very much?” When Axel finishes, it takes all my strength to remain in my seat.
Why I thought these assholes would understand, when they haven’t seen shit going on right under their own noses for years is beyond me. Hell, they just see Dee being in the wrong place at the wrong time. They don’t know shit, and it is making me see red.
“You know what? I’m going to let that shit slide because you don’t know the whole story, but if you ever question my actions when it comes to Dee, I won’t hold back when I beat your fucking ass.” I look around and meet all three sets of eyes looking at me in shock. Hell, Coop still has a donut hanging out of his mouth, just looking at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. “Okay, I’m sorry, but just don’t go there.” I finally say after I calm myself down slightly.
“Yeah, I’m sensing that might be a sore subject.” Greg laughs, trying to lighten the mood.
“You think? This douchelord just had a PMS fit, and all you’re saying is it might be a sore subject. Ha! That’s some funny shit.” Coop finishes stuffing his food in his mouth and ignores the rest of us.
“Want to tell me why Maddox is with Dee instead of sitting in on this meeting? The meeting that was supposed to be a brief on all this shit we’ve been investigating for Dee?” Axel’s tone is less angry now and more confused.
I should just lay it all out but what goes on between Dee and myself isn’t their business. Not that stuff, not until she wants it known.
“He’s with Dee because you called me and said I needed to get my ass over here. You asked, and I’m here. Maddox is there because she trusts him, and right now, that’s all I need to ease my mind when I can’t be there. You’ve got Izzy, he’s got Melissa and Cohen, and this idiot has his insatiable dick to worry about. Are you telling me that one of you would’ve been there to make sure she’s safe?” I continue my sweep of the room. Axel’s earlier anger seems to be coming back, and Greg’s carefree attitude is gone. Yeah, might as well just keep pissing them off this morning. I look at Coop to see him searching under the table and not even paying attention.
Unwrapping my fingers from their white-knuckle grip on the chair arm gives me a few seconds to figure out just how I want this to play out. I can continue to let them think I’ve been following Dee around like a lost puppy, or I can give them enough to have them off my back without betraying her trust in me.
“Ha, found you, motherfucker!” My head snaps over to Coop who climbs back up from the floor, blowing on the donut he must have dropped. He finally notices how thick with tension the room has become, because he looks at all of us with one brow cocked for a few seconds before he shrugs his shoulders and stuffs his mouth with half of his rescued snack.
“That’s disgusting, Coop,” Axel grumbles from across the table.
“Whatever,” he mumbles around a mouthful. “What the hell has all you fuckers getting all twitchy? Greg looks like he just shit his pants.” He laughs but continues eating without care. Pretty typical Coop, he hates getting into our shit, always has. He’s always preferred to be the lover of the group. It’s just turned into a different kind of loving as of late.
“Do you maybe want to explain to me why I feel like I just got in trouble with daddy?” Axel asks sarcastically.
“Not really.” I cross my arms over my chest and pray that I have the strength to stay in my seat if they continue with this conversation.
“Fuck that! Maybe let’s go with why you would think I wouldn’t be worried about Dee when I’ve been around a lot longer than you have. You’re acting like you have some claim to her, and we all know she moved on from whatever fun y’all had early on.”
Just like that, I jump up from my seat and slam my palms down on the table with a loud pop. Axel looks on as if he is bored with the conversation. I don’t have to look at Coop to see that he’s stopped eating and has finally given us his attention.
But, Greg? This motherfucker has the balls to actually look smug. He stands up, and with the table between us, moves in so he’s right in my face before he continues running his mouth. “What? Hit a little too close to home there, Beck? Maybe it’s time to just stop trying to get her to notice you. Stop feeding into her games. I held my tongue when you told me not to drive up when she was in the hospital, but I’m getting sick and fucking tired of watching you two play your little, high school bullshit.”
I don’t even give him a second to take a breath after he delivers that pile of shit. I reach back and clock him right in the jaw with enough power to have him on his ass. I palm the table again and swing my legs over, landing right next to his fallen form.
“What the fuck!” Axel stands and moves to pull me away from Greg, but stops in his tracks when I look up and meet his eyes.
“Don’t you even think about touching me right now. You might have me in size but right now, I’ve got anger on my side, and I’ll level you on the goddamn ground if you take one more step.”
I turn back to where Greg is leaning against the conference room wall, wiping the blood from his lip. I can see the anger in his eyes, but he looks more confused as to why I just laid him out. We’ve fought before, all of us have, but never have I laid my hands on one of my brothers in anger.
Leaning in close enough that he knows I’m serious, I keep my voice low and level. “Do not sit here and pretend to even have a clue what’s been going on between Dee and me. I’m going to say this once, and only once, because it still makes me so fucking mad to even think about it.” I take a deep breath, not once breaking eye contact with Greg. I want him to understand why I’m livid.
“Months, Greg, hell, close to a year and a half, that woman has needed you, and you couldn’t even fucking see it. You have no idea what the hell she’s been going through, and I’ll tell you right now, if you want to know that’s up to you, but you won’t hear it from me. What I will clue you the fuck in on is that these games you think I’ve been feeding into? These games kept the woman I love alive. They helped her heal, and more importantly, these games you think I’m playing give me more claim on her than you ever had. Do not ever question my relationship with Dee when you have no clue what the hell you’re talking about.”
He keeps staring at me, his jaw hard, and his eyes spitting fire. Right when I think he’s decided to pout in the corner instead of responding, he opens his mouth. “You’re really going to stand there and act like you haven’t been so pussy whipped for two stupid fucking years? Hell, you have it so bad you can’t even see it.”
“Don’t keep running your mouth because you’re pissed I laid your ass out.”
He climbs to his feet and moves forward so that we’re toe-to-toe. I keep flexing my fist, trying to purge the violence from my body.
“Not running my mouth, Beck. Can’t handle a little truth? We’ve all seen her running around, dating, laughing, and having fun. You can’t sit here and act like she’s been living two lives! I would have noticed if she needed me.”
My jaw drops after that load of shit, and then I laugh. I laugh so hard that I have to step away from him and hold my sides.
It takes me a few minutes because the anger is still very
much present. Holding my hand up to tell him to wait, gives me a few seconds to compose myself. I just stand here hunched over, trying to get my breathing under control. Now that the hilarity of just how blind he is to someone he claims to know and love like a sister has passed, and I sober quickly.
“You know, I don’t know who I feel more sorry for right now. Dee for hiding behind all that false happiness because she didn’t think you could be bothered to be there, or you! You’re the one who claims to love her like family, but you’re so fucking stupid that you couldn’t see it.” I throw my hands up and walk away from him before I knock his ass back on the ground. “I can even overlook the time that you met Melissa, and the shit storm that followed. You had your own heavy issues, and believe me, Brother, I get they were as heavy as it gets, but before that, there was almost a year that you couldn’t see shit. Hell, maybe you did and just didn’t care, because hey, she was still smiling, right?” I throw his words back at him and turn to Axel. He’s just standing there, but now, he’s looking at me with all the questions I knew he would have if I opened this can of worms.
“Fuck you, Beck. What gives you the right to sit here and act like you’re better than any one of us?” Greg growls at me, but makes the mistake of grabbing my shoulder to get my attention back on him.
I turn quicker than he expected and grab him by the front of his tee, pushing him back into the wall hard enough that I swear I hear the wall crack. “I gained that right the first time I had to stop her from swallowing a bottle of pills.” I shove off, pissed at myself for giving into him when he clearly wanted to bait me. “I’ve got a lot of anger built up about this Greg, and it really would be wise if you shut the fuck up. Now.” I pace the length of the room, my hands on my hips, and my breathing still coming rapidly.
“I think it’s time you cleared the air, Brother,” Coop says from the table. I look over and meet his eyes; he gives me a small nod, and the tension in my shoulders drops.
“Fuck!” I kick over one of the chairs before turning back and walking over to my seat. Greg, still clearly pissed, rights his chair, and sits. Axel keeps his gaze on me for a few seconds before taking his seat next to Greg. I laugh at the irony of those two on one side and me, alone, on the other. Coop clears his throat from his seat at the head of the table, and I take that as my signal to talk.
“This isn’t my place to tell you, and I feel like I’m betraying Dee by even opening my mouth.” The fight, all that anger, leaves in seconds, and I just feel . . . alone.
“It sure would make it a lot easier if we understood what the fuck that shit was all about,” Axel says in frustration.
“I don’t like my loyalties being questioned, Beck. And I damn sure don’t like being punched in the face. Melissa’s going to kick your ass, pregnant or not.”
“Honestly, you deserved that and more, Greg. I’ve kept my mouth shut out of respect for Dee, but mainly because I had it covered. I was there when she needed me, and I will continue to be there for her.” I turn my attention to Axel, taking a deep breath before addressing him. “First, I mean no disrespect, Ax, for what I’m about to say, so understand that and keep your temper in check.” He gives me a tight nod. Looking back over at Greg I continue. “Right before that shit went down in Izzy and Dee’s old townhouse, Dee and I started dating. It was new, so new that we didn’t even get to announce shit to anyone before that all went down. Then with Greg in the hospital, almost dying and shit, there wasn’t a good time. Izzy needed Axel, and Greg was healing. So, Dee was alone.”
“What the hell do you mean she was alone? She lived in my damn house! Izzy was there. I was there. She wasn’t alone!” Axel’s growl pretty much confirms what I thought. Of course, he’s defensive.
“I told you I didn’t mean any disrespect, Axel, and I mean it. But, even though she was right under your nose, you were so busy with Izzy that you didn’t see a thing. Think back, and I mean, really think. How many times would she sit in that little corner in your office that you gave her to work? How many nights would you catch her roaming around downstairs? Really think about what you couldn’t see, because your whole focus was Izzy. I’m not even faulting you there because Izzy needed you, but Dee needed someone, too.” I look down and gather my thoughts. I hate thinking back to those months. “She would call me every night, and I listened to her cry herself to sleep. Every single noise in your house terrified her. Then, I finally talked her into getting the apartment in Maddox’s complex, thinking she would be better off. I spent another few months never leaving her side.” I have to stop and clear the lump in my throat. Jesus, this is harder than I thought it would be.
“The first time she almost took her own life, she called me first. It gave me enough time to get there, and it took me almost a week to calm her down enough to get help. She only tried once after that, but she had me there. That happened a month before she pushed me away. She started seeing a therapist, and I kept a close eye on her. It’s taken almost a year for me to see the signs of life coming back into her. She hid it, but if you all would’ve taken a good look at her, you would’ve seen just how broken she was.” I look up to meet their eyes.
Coop has a look of understanding on his face that makes me think he wasn’t as clueless as I thought he had been. Axel’s face is clear of emotion, but I can see the shock in his eyes. When I finally meet Greg’s eyes, the raw pain that is washed over his features shocks me.
“I had no idea.” His voice even sounds flat.
“Yeah, I know.” I offer him a small smile but no understanding. These people should’ve seen it, and knowing they’ve thought she was playing games just breaks my heart for her. “Those games you think she was playing, the guys she was dating, all of it. That was her way of acting like she’s fine so you all wouldn’t ask questions. She didn’t want you to know, and I still don’t even know why she was so determined that you all stay clueless.”
“What can we do?” Axel’s holding it in tight, but he looks like he’s about to start breaking things soon. He doesn’t like his family hurting, and he’s got to know that when Izzy finds this out, it’s going to be hard for her to know she’s been just as blind as the rest of them.
“You three don’t do shit. She trusts Maddox. I know she’s already talked to him about some of this, but I don’t know how much she’s told him. Plus, with him knowing everything that’s been going on, it all makes it easier for her to talk to him. She’s meeting with Izzy for lunch today, so Axel, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re needed not long after. Right now, Dee is mine, and I’ll keep doing what I’ve been doing. We figure out who this motherfucker is, and he’s mine to deal with. Then we move on like the family we are.”
They nod their heads in understanding, but Greg pushes back from the table. He pulls the door open, walks out, and slams it behind him.
“Give him a second to get a handle on this. You can’t expect him to just brush off the fact that he’s basically ignored Dee when she needed him.” Axel’s right. At this point, it’s a tossup for who’s going to handle this better, Greg or Izzy.
It takes almost thirty minutes before Greg comes back in. He walks up to where I’m standing by the window and pulls me into a hug. I slap him on the back a few times and let him have this. As frustrated as I am with him, I know how seriously he takes his relationship with the females in his life. I knew it wouldn’t be easy for him to know that someone needed him, and he didn’t see it.
“Don’t beat yourself up, Greg. She’s on the other side of it now. Even after that shit at the office, she’s got this strength about her that makes me know she’s going to be okay.”
He pulls back and looks at me with pain clear in his eyes. “Thank you for being there for her when I couldn’t see it.”
I nod my head and we return to the table. I know this isn’t over. Dee’s going to have to finish this and forgive him before they can move on. And judging by the look on his face, he knows this too.
We spend the rest of the morning
going over what we know about her attack. Which basically, is pretty much nothing. Adam Harris hasn’t been back to work since the Friday before the attack. Everything is still in his apartment, except it’s been trashed as though he had to leave in a hurry. His family doesn’t have one clue as to where he could be. Dee’s attacker had parked far enough from her office that his vehicle didn’t get caught on any of the security footage, and he never took his mask off when in range of the cameras.
We have nothing. And all I take away from this meeting is the feeling deep in my gut that this is going to get worse before it gets better.
CHAPTER 15
Dee
I’m more nervous for my lunch date with Izzy than I thought I would be. I know this isn’t going to be a fun catch up and gossip date. She’s going to be devastated when I tell her everything I’ve hidden from her.
Beck left this morning worried for me because he knew what would happen today. But he also left knowing that I needed to do this alone, and he never once questioned me.
I can only hope that when he gets home, and I tell him what I have to tell Izzy, that he’s still willing to stand by my side.
It’s time for me to free myself of all this pain.
* * *
I’ve just stepped out of the shower when I hear a knock on the door. I think about locking myself in the bathroom and hiding, but after a few seconds of calming my breathing, I’m able to fight the panic.
Dressing quickly in the sweats and tee that Beck had left on the floor this morning, I set off for the door with only a slight tremble in my limbs. As silently as I can I creep up to the door and look through the peephole. When I see Maddox glaring at the solid wood, I smile slightly, take a deep breath to calm my nerves, and open the door.
“Hey Mad.” I smile and stand back for him to enter.
“Hey.” He looks me over, his lips twitching just barely, before heading off in the direction of the kitchen.