by Harper Sloan
“Oh, Baby. I love you so much.”
Her breath hitches again at my words. It doesn’t take long before she opens her mouth, and when she finally utters the words that I’ve been dreaming of for so long, the sense of peace that hits me is nothing short of a miracle.
“I love you, too, John Beckett. I love you with all of my scarred heart.” She smiles weakly and I return it with a smile so big that my jaw hurts.
“You’re finally mine?” I ask, my smile never leaving my face.
“No . . .” She pauses and my heart stops. “You’re finally mine.” All of the earlier pain and sadness drains from her face, and she looks at me with her smile huge, her bloodshot eyes full of love and trust. She looks at me as if she’s a brand new woman, and I give a second of thanks that I’m lucky enough to have this woman in my life.
“Whatever works but we’re finally us.” I cup her cheek and guide my lips to hers. She tastes like her tears mixed with hope. She tastes like heaven.
“I. Love. You.” I punctuate each word with a kiss before I take her lips in a slow lazy kiss.
Her hands are running all over my chest, pulling at my shirt. When her cold hands get my shirt up and she presses against my abs, I shake with the chill that rushes through my body. She giggles and it’s like music to my ears. I break away from her mouth to pull my shirt off and then hers. She unhooks her bra and drops it to the floor. I take a second to look over every inch of her exposed skin, drinking in her tan perfection. Her nipples pebble under the attention of my eyes, and I reach up and cup each of her heavy breasts, rubbing my thumb over each nipple before pinching them lightly. Her head rolls back on her shoulders and she moans low in her throat.
I shift her so that she straddles me on the couch and take her ass in my hands before pulling her against my erection. She frames my face before taking my lips and kissing me deeply. Her tongue comes out and tangles with mine while she starts grinding against my lap.
I pull my mouth away and lean my forehead against hers. Both of us are panting deeply. When she shifts slightly and her warm core rubs against my painful erection, I growl. “Dee, it’ll be over before I even have a chance to get out of my pants if you move again. Give me a second, and then I’m taking you up to our bed and showing you every single ounce of love I have in my body for you.”
It takes me a lot longer than a second to calm my body enough that I don’t fear coming in my pants if she so much as breathes. When I can finally feel some blood coming back to my head, I push my hands under her ass and stand. She instinctively wraps her legs tightly around my waist and drops her head to my neck. She starts kissing, licking, and sucking lightly against my neck and all the progress I’ve just made in controlling my throbbing erection just goes flying out the window.
“Dee . . .” I warn when she starts sucking on my earlobe. She laughs and her warm breath dances across my wet ear. I have to stop in the middle of the staircase because the urge to come in my pants is almost too much. My dick has craved this woman for months, and she is finally mine. There’s no way in hell I’m going to go off unless her wet pussy is wrapped tight around me.
She finally takes pity on me, and I’m able to start climbing the stairs again. When I hit the hallway, it looks a mile long and not the short distance I know it to be. I tighten my fingers against her ass and start walking. Every time my balls rub against the fabric of my jeans, I groan. When we finally cross the threshold into the bedroom, I let out the breath I have been holding.
Finally.
It’s finally time to make this woman mine.
I bring my hands from her ass and run my fingertips slowly over her body up towards her chest. When I hit her hips, her legs tighten around my waist so that she keeps her hold on me. The feel of her warm skin against my palms has me closing my eyes and dropping my head back on my shoulders. She takes the opportunity to run kisses and wet swipes of her tongue against my exposed neck. She nibbles on my throat before dipping and kissing a path to one of my nipples. When her teeth bite down almost painfully, I tighten my hold on her waist.
Walking stiffly over to the edge of the bed, I lower her until her ass meets the mattress. I step back when she places her palms behind her and leans back. Her tits are thrusting in the air, just begging for my mouth. I lick my lips before moving my eyes up her body and meeting her gaze. Her eyes are on fire, cheeks flushed, and all signs of her earlier sadness have completely disappeared. I give her a tip of my lips before dropping to my knees, wrapping my arms around her legs, and pulling her until her ass is hanging off the bed. When she falls back on the mattress, she lets out a yelp that quickly turns into a moan as I nuzzle my nose against her stomach and start kissing along the waistband of her jeans.
“You’re killing me.” She moans, running her hands up her stomach. I have to stop what I’m doing when she takes her hands on a trail up her body and squeezes her tits before rolling each nipple slowly. Her face is showing me just how much she’s enjoying this.
“Shit.” I have to pull one of my hands from her legs to shove it down my pants and wrap my fist around my dick. I press as hard as I dare so that I can stop myself from coming. Just watching her pleasure herself is almost too much to take. “Dee, please, stop.”
She shakes her head back and forth, lost in her own world. “Dee,” I snap. Her eyes shoot open and her hands stop caressing and pinching. “Please, let me. You keep that up and I won’t be able to hold back.”
“I don’t want you to hold back. It’s been too long.” God, I love her voice when she’s this close to coming. It gets deeper, huskier. Fuck.
I don’t even try to take my time I lean forward and pull her pants off with one jerk, tossing them over my shoulder. Her underwear just pisses me off because it’s in the way of the one place my body is craving. Taking hold of one delicate side and tugging has them ripping right off her. I thrust my hand back under her ass, lift her hips off the mattress, and drop my mouth right to her soaked folds.
“Drenched, Baby . . . so damn wet. Whose pussy is this?” I latch onto her clit and suck hard, waiting for her to answer me.
“Yours! It’s yours! Oh, God!” Her small hand pushes through my hair and holds my head still while she brings her hips up and shamelessly rubs against my tongue. I hum when the sweet flavor of her desire hits my taste buds in a rush as she comes all over my tongue.
I lick her slowly, lapping up every single drop of her addictive taste before pulling my head from her hand and trailing kisses up her thigh. Seeing her back in this bed, completely naked and in the afterglow of one hell of a climax, has my dick getting even harder than I ever thought possible. My balls are already drawn tight against my body, just ready to explode at any second.
I take a step back, never letting my eyes leave her body. She doesn’t even move. Both legs still hang off the side of the bed, her head tips to the side, and her brown hair spills out around her. My jeans are the first to go. I unsnap and slowly pull the zipper down, holding my dick back with my other hand so it doesn’t go off on a mission of its own to find that delicious pussy.
When I’m finally naked, I continue to stand there, slowly drawing my fist up and down my swollen shaft in lazy movements. She finally opens her eyes to see me standing between her spread legs, and lets out a whimper that goes straight to my dick, which throbs painfully in my fist.
Words aren’t needed, not with us, and definitely not now. Her walls are down . . . No, they aren’t down; they’re completely decimated. There isn’t a single speck of the pain that’s been in her eyes for the past two years. No, my girl has her love shining brightly, and her heart beating in sync with my own.
Leaning down, I take her lips in a deep, slow, bruising kiss. Our tongues mate together in a slow dance, and when I press my hips to hers, and my dick is nestled between her swollen lips, I moan in her mouth. She breaks her lips away and starts sliding against my dick, letting her wetness coat me in seconds. Her fingers dig into the muscles of my back, almost to the
point of pain each time I hit her clit. It doesn’t take long before fire starts slowly burning its path down my spine, and the first threads of my orgasm start to race through my body. I have to pull my hips from her wet heat, earning me another bite of her nails when she tries to keep me close.
Without losing my connection to her mouth, I bring my hands up to her hips and lift her up, scooting her back so I can crawl up behind her. Staying on my knees, I shift her body so she’s resting on her shoulders with her hips in the air, right where I need them to be to lean up and enter her. Her hands come back up to her tits and start rolling her nipples again. I lean forward, letting go of one hip long enough to line myself up, and then push forward slowly. We both groan when we come together completely. My balls rest against her ass and her walls hug my dick with a vice like strangle. Goddamn, it feels like home.
I take a few slow thrusts before the pleasure becomes too much. I hook her legs with my arms, spreading her wide so I can watch her pussy take my dick. Watch, as she becomes mine.
“Look. At. Us.” Each word has my hips pounding in until I can feel her lips against my pelvis. I roll my hips and tighten my hold on her legs before sliding out almost completely. I wait for her to look at me before I slam home.
“YES! Oh fuuuuu, YES!” Her hands slip from her tits and she grabs the bed sheets in her fist, holding on to anything that can anchor her to the world, because if her orgasm is anywhere near as strong as mine is promising to be, she’s going to need that hold.
I drop her legs and lean forward to press my chest against hers, planting myself deeper inside her walls. My left hand braces the brunt of my weight from her body, while my right hand starts the slow journey from her hip to her neck. I thrust my hand into her thick hair and tilt her head so I can crush my lips to hers. The way her body feels while I’m buried deep is intoxicating. She wraps her legs around me, and I start thrusting in and out. It’s painfully slow, but I don’t want this to end. I can feel our bodies becoming one. Her heart is beating rapidly against my chest and mine answers every beat.
I pull back and look into her eyes, resting my forehead against hers. I watch my body rocking against hers. She brings her hands up and frames my face, bringing my eyes back up.
I know she’s close, because she’s panting and moaning each time I thrust home. She leans up, kisses me softly, and then whispers against my lips. “It feels so . . . so different, Baby.” She moans when I stop thrusting and roll my hips again, hitting that spot inside her that has a surge of wetness coating my dick.
“Yeah, that right there is what it feels like to finally be mine.” And with that, I pull back and give her body what it’s silently begging for.
Not long after she screams my name and clamps down on my dick, the thirst that’s been burning its delicious pain in my balls rushes out as I empty myself inside her body, giving her everything that I have in me.
“DEE . . .” I groan her name and dig my fingers in the soft skin of her hips, thrust a few more times before pushing in one last time, and roll so her body is laid out over my own. Each of us is breathing rapidly, and her tight walls still grip my dick, begging me not to leave.
“I love you so damn much,” she whispers in my ear.
“I love you, too. Always have and always will.” I can feel her smile against my cheek, and with our arms wrapped tightly around each other and our bodies connected, we both close our eyes, and for the first time in a long time, I sleep with complete peace.
PART THREE
Believing
&
Letting Go
CHAPTER 19
Dee
Peace.
That’s what this kind of love feels like. My mind and heart are working together in complete harmony, and I no longer wake up wishing that I could just disappear. I wake up, and the first thing I do is smile because I have been blessed.
I still have some bad days. Times when I freak out because of some stupid reason, but Beck is always there to remind me that there isn’t a thing in the world he won’t do to keep me safe and happy.
It’s been one week since we had our talk, and since then, we have spent almost every second together locked away in his house so that the world can’t touch us. He called Axel sometime the morning after we let go of everything that was standing between us. I don’t think he’s happy about it, but he still told Beck to take some time off.
Beck left for the office about an hour earlier, and today would mark the first day that we would be apart since he went in for his meeting last week. I brushed him off when he asked me if I needed Maddox to come wait with me.
Truth is, I’m still nervous to be alone, but I know I’ve got to learn to stand on my own two feet without Beck to keep me up. I have to take the steps to rid myself of this fear.
The main reason I don’t want anyone here is because today, I’m calling my parents. Today, I’m finally going to let them know how much they have completely ruined the first twenty plus years of my life. Today, I will put my parents, and every single fucked up issue they have given me, to rest and forever forget that they ever existed.
After eating something light for breakfast, I settle on the back deck with the phone and a cup of whiskey flavored coffee. Yeah, I need all the courage I can get.
I stare at the phone in my hand before I can make my fingers dial the ten numbers to connect me to my parents. When I press the last number and place the phone to my ear, I take a deep breath for strength and get ready.
“Roberts’ residence, this is Collette speaking.”
“Collette, this is Denise Roberts. May I please speak with Annabeth?” I feel the instant need to wash out my mouth when I say my mother’s name. It takes everything inside me to speak normally and keep the snark out of my tone. I really just want to ask Collette if I may speak with the raging bitch of the house.
“One moment, please, Ms. Denise. Let me see if the lady of the house is available for callers.”
She has got to be joking. The lady of the house? What a fucking joke.
By the time I’m finally taken off hold and my mother’s annoyed voice comes over the line, I am about to hang up and just say the hell with it.
“What is it, Denise? I’m in the middle of my bi-weekly massage, so can we make this quick?” I pull back the phone and drop my jaw when her words penetrate. Did I really expect anything different? No. I want to laugh when I realize how unnecessary this call is.
“Well, Mother, I’m so sorry that I interrupted your fucking massage.”
Her gasp comes out, and I can picture her pressing her hand to her chest in shock over her daughter’s ‘disgusting mouth.’ “You will watch your mouth when you’re speaking to me.”
“It’s a little too late for mothering, Annabeth, don’t you think?” She starts to speak but I cut her off quickly before I lose my lead on this conversation. “Here’s the thing, you old fucking hag. You might be my mother by birth, but that’s only because I didn’t get to pick the idiots that decided to have sex once, and nine months later, their accident was born. No, I didn’t get to pick then, but I do now. I’ve wanted to say this to you for years, but until recently, I didn’t have what I needed to make this call.”
“You are a filthy, disgusting, piece of shit, and I would have been better off thrown into the system than being raised by you and Davison. I hate you. I’ve hated you for the last thirty-one years of my life, and for once, the thought of telling you that doesn’t send me into a panic. I want you to let Davison know that this will be the last time you ever speak to me. From this day forward, you are dead to me. Do you understand that, Annabeth? Your daughter is dead.”
I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut. My legs are bouncing in place, and I know I’m seconds away from throwing up.
“Well, I think an email would have sufficed here. Goodbye, Denise.” The click of her hanging up the phone causes me to jump. I can’t seem to remove the phone from my ear. The shock that she didn’t even react, not once,
when I finally let her know what I think about her, is overwhelming.
I should be sad. Maybe shed a tear or freak out a little, but there is nothing. Nothing, but the heavy weight of the pain that they’ve caused me over the years, as it vanishes from inside of me.
I grab my coffee off the railing and take a long swallow, enjoying the burn of the whiskey mixed with it. When I pull the mug away from my mouth and feel my lips curve into a smile, I know that everything is finally okay. My life is finally perfect, and there isn’t anything that can take this feeling from me.
By the time I pull myself off the couch on the back porch, it’s nearing lunchtime. Beck’s already called twice to check on me, and the last time he called I told him he better not call me again. I love him for wanting to make sure that I’m okay, but we both need to start getting back to normal. Our normal. Together.
After a quick lunch, I sit down to start answering emails. I’ve enjoyed my break from work, my forced break, but now it’s time to get back on the wagon, so to speak. The first order of business is to start cleaning shop with the North Carolina branch. I spoke with Chelcie the other day about selling the business and having her move down here to help me run things. I’m ready to stop making work my number one priority, and focus on living my life.
Ring.
“Hey, Chelc, I was just thinking about you.” When I hear her soft sob, the smile on my face vanishes. “Chelcie? What’s wrong?”
“Oh God, Dee. I thought it was over, you know? Things have been so quiet around here, but you . . . you got a letter today.” She sounds terrified, and all it does is fuel the dread slowly closing in on me.