Loving Lily

by Marie E. Blossom

  "Damn," she muttered to herself, inexplicably disappointed that Matt was gone. "I didn't even get a goodnight kiss. "

  She stretched again, then lay back against the pillows, chewing on her lip. "He did exactly what he said he'd do, Lily. So you have no reason to mope about. " She rolled over, remembering how sweet he'd been. She'd never had anyone massage her hands, let alone anything else.

  And he didn't push for more, despite the massive erection he had, she thought, wondering if he knew that she'd noticed. At first she'd been embarrassed, but when he made no move to call her attention to it, she realized that he was trying not to scare her off.

  If only he knew, she thought. The idea that a man as nice and handsome as he was could be attracted to her was incredibly flattering. And amazing, don't forget amazing, she told herself. She hadn't been on a date since before she got married, and she'd weighed a lot less then.

  She rolled back over, letting the covers fall to her waist. Sometime during the night she'd wriggled out of her robe, and the low-cut tank top she wore had her shivering a little in the cool air of the air conditioning. She thought about his hands on hers, massaging her tension away. She remembered the way his arms looked as he worked his fingers over her palm. He had a truly impressive set of muscles, and she'd just about swooned over them when he got up close and personal like that. She thought about the kiss they'd shared. Then she shook her head and put all those thoughts aside.

  "Mooning over an unattainable man isn't going to get you anywhere," she said aloud, throwing back the covers. It was time to get up and head out.

  By late afternoon, Lily was exhausted. She'd visited Alex in his shop to check on the progress of her car. He said it would be ready in another day. She'd extracted her computer from the back and brought it back to her room. After hours spent going over all the notes she had on her family's deaths, she was no closer to figuring out what was going on than before.

  "You said you weren't going to obsess over this anymore," she told herself. But that was before your car was sabotaged, she mused, tapping a pencil on the table. She'd finally brought the laptop outside and she was sitting in the same spot where Matt had kissed her last night. Her thoughts kept straying to him, even as she tried to convince herself that he wasn't going to show up again. Ugh, stop it. She focused on the data she'd pulled up, trying to find a common denominator for the deaths, but all she kept coming up with was that they were family. Which makes no sense. Why would anyone want to kill us?

  "Hello, Lily," Matt said, startling her.

  She jumped, almost knocking over her glass of water. "Matt! I didn't expect to see you here," she said, grabbing the cup before it went over. Not that I mind him showing up again, not at all, she thought, looking him over. Today he wore old jeans and a t-shirt. Red. It hugged his chest like a second skin. She couldn't help it, she stared at his muscles. She was genuinely shocked he'd bother to stop by. He had been the perfect gentleman last night, but she truly hadn't expected him to come back. Hell, he even knows how old I am!

  He smiled, totally oblivious to what she was thinking. Lily almost swooned as his hazel eyes shaded toward green in the afternoon sunlight. "I thought I'd see how you were doing. "

  "I'm fine. Going over police reports. " What was it about him that had her acting like such a ninny? She felt like a girl with a crush. She managed to shrug, hoping he couldn't tell how much he unsettled her.

  He sat down next to her. "Did you find anything? I assume you mean the reports on your family?"

  "Yes. " She rubbed her eyes, mood suddenly plummeting. Even gorgeous Matt couldn't make her cheerful when faced with this, this… cluster fuck of data that told her exactly nothing. "I found nada. Zip. Fuck all. " She was too tired to watch her language right now.

  "Let me take you to dinner," he said quietly.

  "I thought you didn't want to face the ravenous hordes of people in town?" she asked, remembering what he'd said last night.

  He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I might have fibbed just a teeny tiny bit. "

  She snorted. "Oh?"

  "Well, you see, I really just wanted to eat dinner with you. Alone. "

  When she didn't respond—because I'm in total shock and can't string actual words together right now—he rushed into an explanation.

  "I'm not a stalker! I swear. I just wanted to have dinner with you without all the bother of who would overhear us and whatnot. " He put on a hangdog expression.

  She bit her lip to keep from smiling. "Who even uses the word 'hangdog' nowadays?"

  His expression went from worried to humor. "Who even uses the word 'nowadays,' nowadays?" he teased.

  She huffed. "Dinner, huh?"

  "Yup. How about Italian?"

  And that was how the next week and a half went. Lily combed through police reports, her mother's diary, her husband's email, and found absolutely nothing. She called up medical examiners, the friends of her parents, even her brother's old girlfriend. None of them knew a damn thing. Every day, just as she was about to tear out her hair in frustration, Matt would show up and drag her out. He took her to the shops on the main street in town, introducing her to the locals. She met his sister Stephanie and his adorable nieces. Sometimes he'd take her to Alex's garage where they'd hang out with the mechanics for a bit. He took her hiking in the nearby woods. He teased her out of her bad mood again and again. And usually, by the time darkness fell, Lily was so freaked out by the normalcy of it all, they inevitably ended up in her room, talking.

  "I don't understand why I feel so paranoid," she complained late Friday night. "I mean, everyone is nice. The town is beautiful. Even your mother was sweet to me. And here I am, having a freaking anxiety attack. Again. " Lily sat on her bed, hands fisted in the covers. Matt sat next to her, barefoot. The jeans he wore today were ripped at the knee. He looked sexy and relaxed and so handsome Lily kept surreptitiously pinching herself. She couldn't believe he wanted to spend time with her. It was strange how quickly she'd grown accustomed to his presence in her life.

  "It's okay," he said again, poking her in the thigh. “Relax. ”

  "It's not okay! I'm just being ridiculous. " Lily let herself slump down, kicking a bare foot against the comforter. They'd piled the pillows up against the headboard so she couldn't bang her skull against anything hard. Matt smoothed a leg over hers, but she didn't let herself react. He didn't mean anything by it. Lily was long past stressing over having Matt so close to her. Since that first kiss nearly a week ago, he'd done nothing more than massage her hands, soothing her into sleep again and again. No kisses. Nothing even remotely sexual, she thought, disgusted.

  "Has it ever occurred to you that you're finally facing what happened to you over the past few years?" Matt asked, after a long pause.

  Lily shoved her fist against her forehead, pressing hard. "No. I don't know. What the hell are you talking about?"

  He gently pulled her arm down and pried her fingers open. "I mean, this is the first time you've had a chance to take a break from work, had time to just sit and think. The shit is bound to float to the surface. " He stroked her fingers.

  By now she was so used to him touching her like that, she calmed down despite herself. "How do you know what I'm feeling?"

  He didn't answer.

  Lily sat there, letting him trace designs on her palm because she didn't really want to press him. He made her feel better. The last thing she wanted to do was chase him away.

  "You're favorite color is blue," he said, suddenly, after the silence had gone on so long she thought he'd forgotten her question.

  "What?" Lily didn't understand his point.

  He shrugged. "I just—" He broke off, obviously struggling to explain. "I know you. And I know how it feels. "

  She frowned, thinking. "What are you talking about?"

  "I saw a lot of awful stuff in the military. It changes a person. "

  She curled her fingers around his, imagining what he must have gone through. He had a point. Sh
e chewed on her cheek. "What's yours?" she asked.

  "What's my what?" he asked.

  "Your favorite color. What is it?" She knew she was being absurd, but she didn't care.

  "Blue. Can't you tell? I'm wearing a blue shirt. " His voice held a thread of amusement and for a moment she contemplated kicking him, but she decided to let it go this time. Instead, she smiled, and so did he. Abruptly, she realized something important.

  "You know everything about me—how my family died, what I miss about them, why I've been traveling around, trying to figure out what to do next. But I don't know anything about you. "

  He shrugged. "You know everything important. "

  "Like what? That you're a writer? Ex-military?" She scoffed. "That doesn't tell me anything. "

  He took a deep breath. "I don't like crowds of people because it reminds me of the markets in the Middle East. It reminds me of bombs going off. "

  Her breath caught. Jesus. His hand gripped hers, hard. She was shocked by the intensity in his voice.

  "I have nightmares. Every time I write a book, I put in one of the ghosts that haunt me, so they have a voice. So that people know that those you lose, even strangers, are important in your life. "

  She squeezed his palm to let him know she was listening.

  "I quit the SEALs when I found out the president was sending us into a war. I'd seen some of the intelligence. I knew the shit about WMDs was bogus and I couldn't stand the thought of being part of that. " He stared fixedly at the wall. "I hate the fact that I abandoned my men. I hate that so many people I know died. "

  "God, Matt," Lily whispered. "I had no idea. "

  He nodded once, grimly, still not looking at her. "A lot of the time I can't sleep. My family doesn't understand me. " He rubbed his free hand over his face. "I don't like talking about any of this because it sounds like I'm ungrateful for what I have. I'm not. I hate complaining. I hate whiners. "

  "You're not," Lily said, amazed he'd think that about himself. "You're taciturn to the extreme. You never complain. "

  He barked a laugh, harsh and sharp. "There's no point in it. "

  Lily shook her head. "I think you're mistaking sharing for over-sharing. "

  He shrugged.

  She ran a thumb over the back of his hand, soothing him this time. "The only easy day was yesterday. "

  He turned to her abruptly. "Where did you hear that?"

  "I don't remember. The radio maybe? It's a Navy thing, right?" He looked better, somehow.

  "It's a SEAL thing," he said.

  "Well, then. " She smiled.

  "I can't believe it's only been a little over a week," he murmured, hand going to her face.

  He cupped her cheek and she kissed his palm. "What has?" she asked.

  "Since the moment I first set eyes on you, I knew," he said.

  She frowned, confused, but then all at once he moved in, kissing her as though he were starving. She gasped, shocked, and he dipped his tongue into her mouth. He tasted like vanilla, and coffee, and uniquely himself.

  "Lily," he said, kissing along her jaw to her ear. "I want to make love to you so badly. "

  Lily trembled, still confused. "I don't understand. " He hadn't touched her since that first kiss they'd shared last week, and now he was holding her as if she were precious.

  He smiled into her skin. "What's to understand?" He kissed her again, long and deep, drugging her with pleasure. "You're the strongest woman I've ever met. "

  She pulled back, disbelieving. "You're joking. I'm pudgy and old and—" she broke off when he kissed her mid-word.

  "You're curvy and beautiful and incredibly courageous. " He kissed her again, hands going to her hair. "You're perfect. Trust me?"

  She bit her lip, holding onto his shoulders. She felt dizzy, like the world had suddenly tilted the wrong direction. "You're serious?"

  "Lily. " He leaned back, hands still in her hair. His eyes were dark with arousal as he looked at her. The look on his face sent heat running down her spine. "I want to kiss you and touch you and sink inside of you until neither of us can tell which way is up anymore. "

  She caught her breath at that last statement. It had been so long since a man had wanted her, how could she pass this up?

  "Yes. " She didn't say anything else, just that one simple word. Matt's expression went from patience to intense arousal in a flash.

  "Kiss me," he said, leaning in. "Kiss me until we both forget the past. "

  She did as he asked, holding onto his shirt with her fists. "Don't stop," she said when he let go of her hair.

  "I'm not," he assured her, reaching down to slide his fingers under the straps of her tank top. "I promise. " He kissed down her neck, nibbling on her collarbone.

  Lily threw her head back, suddenly so aroused she couldn't think straight. "Matt, God—" She threaded her fingers into his hair as he mouthed down until his lips were poised right over a nipple. "Yes," she said, urging his head closer.

  His lips closed over the erect nub right through her clothes. He breathed out, heating the soft cloth of her shirt and she sucked in a gasp. He chuckled, then slid his hands up underneath her top. "Take this off. "

  "You too," she said, letting him pull her tank top over her head. Her breasts bounced out and his face went taut, hands immediately going to her bosom.

  Thank God I'm wearing my new bra, she thought, hating the idea of what he would think of her wearing a ratty old cotton bra that no longer fit quite right.

  His thumbs flicked over her nipples, sending sparks of heat through her. She moaned, holding his wrists. The lace that held her breasts in place did nothing to disguise the perkiness of her nipples.

  "Yeah, fuck. That's just gorgeous," he muttered, flicking his fingers again and again until she writhed.

  "Matt, you too. " She tugged at his shirt ineffectually.

  He shrugged her hands away and took it off in one swift movement. She stared at his chest as he went back to tormenting her. He has muscles on top of muscles, she thought vaguely, trying to catch her breath. She traced her hands over him, delighting in the crisp hair on his pecs. When a finger caught on his nipple, he groaned, head dropping down to kiss her again.

  "God, Matt, what are you doing to me?" she asked when he let her up for air.

  "That's my question," he muttered, trying to get her bra unhooked. He wasn't having much luck. He yanked at it and she laughed under her breath.

  "Here. Let me," she said, reaching behind her back. She undid the clasp easily, and then held the lace up to her bare breasts uneasily. She knew he knew she wasn't skinny, but somehow, letting go of the little scrap of fabric was more honesty than she could bear.

  "Mmmm, Lily. You're so pretty," he said, seemingly not noticing her hesitation. He dropped his head into her cleavage, kissing his way over her fingers until his mouth nudged them aside. He licked her nipple, then took it into his mouth, sucking hard.

  Lily cried out, forgetting about her embarrassment, forgetting about everything except what he was doing to her. "Oh my God, don't stop. " She let go of the bra and fisted his hair, holding on tightly. He chuckled against her skin and moved to her other breast, plucking the nipple he abandoned with his fingers.

  "You taste like strawberries," he said, licking broad strokes along her skin.

  She shivered, hot and cold at the same time. Her pussy ached and she moved restlessly under him. "More," she pleaded.

  "I'll give you what you need," he said, kissing down her stomach.

  Lily tried to suck her fat in, but he just laughed. "What are you doing?" he asked, fingers busy unbuttoning her jeans.

  "Nothing," she said, sure her face was flushed.

  "Stop it," he said, rubbing his stubble along her belly.

  The gentle scratch of it felt good and she wrapped her legs around his waist. If he weren’t so obviously lodged right in between her legs, she would think she was dreaming. He bit her along her waist, gently, then dipped his tongue into her bellybutton, making
her giggle.

  "Come on, Matt. Kiss me again," she told him, trying to pull him back up to her mouth.

  "Oh, don't worry. I'm going to kiss you," he said, wrestling her jeans open. He pulled them down, grabbing her panties and stripping them off before she understood what was happening.

  "Fuck me, you're beautiful," he breathed, sitting back on his knees. He carded his fingers over her mound, then dipped into her pussy.

  Lily arched her back, not expecting him to find her sweet spot so quickly. "Matt!"

  His knuckled bumped her clit and she shuddered. He did it again, and again, spreading her moisture all around her labia, then teasing at her clitoris very lightly. She bit her lip, moaning as the pleasure ripped through her. She was so damn close, how was that possible? It usually took a lot longer to get to this point. Sex had never been this easy before.

  "You're so wet," he murmured, shimmying down the bed. Lily didn't have the strength to stop him.

  Be honest, you don't want to stop him, she thought. Her husband had never done this for her. After a few unsuccessful attempts, Jack had given up on the oral sex thing. Be honest, he gave up on giving it. He never had any problems with getting it.

  Oblivious to the thoughts racing through Lily's head, Matt smiled, then deliberately ducked his head and licked her folds. "And sweet, too," he said, kissing her deeply.

  Lily shuddered, thoughts of her husband scattering as Matt skillfully teased her clit with his mouth. He licked and sucked and nipped… and then stopped, just when she was about to orgasm.

  "Oh fuck, don't stop," she breathed, hitching her hips up to him.

  "I'm not stopping. Don't worry," he said, shoving his jeans down. When he knelt on the bed, condom packet in his hand, Lily stared.

  He was insanely ripped, but also graceful. She could tell he'd earned those muscles through hard work, not because he spent his whole life in the gym. He needed them to do his job. He might have left the military years ago, but he certainly hadn’t let himself go. He also had the biggest cock she’d ever seen, not that she’d seen all that many.

  "This okay?" he asked, rolling the condom down his shaft. Lily licked her lips and nodded. He was long and thick. She wasn't sure he was going to fit. He must have interpreted her expression because he smiled. "Don't worry. I know what I'm doing. "