Hold Me Like a Breath

by Tiffany Schmidt

  I was a stumble-bumble-trip child—constantly in the ER for stitches or casts. I’ve had plenty of bruises in my accident-prone life, and they’re never attractive. Bruises hurt. That the ability to bruise was the basis for the princess’s identity—the reason she and the prince could marry—was disturbing and confusing to childhood me.

  A couple of decades later, I finally sat down to write the princess’s story—because while the fairy tale may have her in the title, the story isn’t hers. Hold Me Like a Breath is my way of reclaiming this fairy tale, giving the princess a voice, an identity that’s based on more than her skin’s ability to turn purple.

  This book is my answer to my childhood questions, but I hope it raises some questions for you.

  So, of course the first people who need thanking are my parents. Thank you for reading to me. Thank you for answering my endless questions. Thank you for teaching me that curiosity is a gift and sometimes the only way to find an answer is to create my own. I appreciate you even more now that my Schmidt-lets are in their own question phase and I live in their barrage of “whys.” Pip Squeak and Wild Imp, I hope you never stop asking—except at bedtime, please go to sleep. And, St. Matt, who brings the logic and reality to our little family, I love you so very much.

  This book couldn’t have been written without Joe Monti, the first person who said, “This is the story you’re writing next. Write it now!” and Emily Hainsworth and Courtney Summers who held my hand, brainstormed, read the drafts, and delivered endless pep talks. E. C. Myers, Katie Walker, and Jessica Spotswood also shared their wise feedback, and I’m so grateful to them and to my online and local book community, including Jonathan Maberry, Nancy Keim Comley, Tiff Emerick, Heather Hebert, Jen Zelesko, Annie Gaughen, Victoria Schwab, Scott Tracey, Susan Adrian, Linda Grimes, Gail Yates, Elisa Ludwig, Kate Walton, Eve Mont, Lauren Stroehecker, Kelly Jensen, and so many more.

  To Barry, Tricia, and the whole Goldblatt family, so much of this job is spent by myself in front of my computer, thank you for making sure I never feel alone and for always having my back.

  To all the talented people at Bloomsbury, I feel so lucky to continue to work with your magical team. Emily Easton, thank you for sharing my excitement for this project and catching my obsession with the organ trade. Laura Whitaker, I guess we’re past the point where I can send “Oh, just one more change” e-mails. Thank you for being so patient and such a great champion of me and this story. Many hugs and much gratitude to Sarah Shumway, Lizzy Mason, Erica Barmash, Emily Ritter, Cristina Gilbert, Amanda Bartlett, Courtney Griffin, Linette Kim, Beth Eller, Jenna Pocius, Patricia McHugh, Jill Amack, and everyone else who’s worked to make this book stronger and shinier.

  I have so much gratitude for the doctors and patients who answered my questions about idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura and shared their stories. If there are any mistakes in the way I depict Penny’s experiences with ITP, they are entirely my fault and I apologize. I especially want to recognize Dr. Pam Boardman, MPH; Charity Hasty; Jeff Writtenhouse; Christina Pena; Erica Klein; Crystal Lee; and Meredith Jane.

  Finally, my heart is full of gratitude for all the teachers, librarians, booksellers, bloggers, and readers who have spent their time in these pages or recommended my books to friends, family, strangers in bookstores or libraries, or on the Interwebs. At the risk of exposing my cheesy side (too late?), you are all a part of my happily ever after and I couldn’t do this without you.

  Also by Tiffany Schmidt

  Send Me a Sign

  Bright Before Sunrise

  Copyright © 2015 by Tiffany Schmidt

  All rights reserved.

  You may not copy, distribute, transmit, reproduce, or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (including without limitation electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, printing, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages. For information address Bloomsbury USA, 1385 Broadway, New York, NY 10018.

  First published in the United States of America in May 2015

  by Bloomsbury Children’s Books

  This electronic edition published in May 2015

  www.bloomsbury.com

  Bloomsbury is a registered trademark of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

  For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to

  Permissions, Bloomsbury Children’s Books, 1385 Broadway, New York, New York 10018

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Schmidt, Tiffany.

  Hold me like a breath / by Tiffany Schmidt.

  pages cm

  Summary: Penny Landlow, seventeen, the overprotected daughter of a powerful crime family, has rarely left the family estate due to a blood disorder, but when tragedy strikes and she is left alone in New York City, she must prove she is not as fragile as everyone believes.

  [1. Organized crime—Fiction. 2. Self-reliance—Fiction. 3. Sick—Fiction. 4. Family life—New York (State)—New York—Fiction. 5. Transplantation of organs, tissues, etc.—Fiction. 6. New York (N.Y.)—Fiction.] I. Title.

  PZ7.S3563Hol 2015 [Fic]—dc23 2014019262

  eISBN: 978-0-80273-810-3

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