“You can’t avoid the situation forever. It’s not like you to run away.”
“I just want to figure things out before I go back.”
“That’s a good idea, but don’t get stuck here or anywhere, Molly. That’s something I always admired in you, your drive. You’re idling, baby.”
“Mom, what do you think?”
Molly rolled on her side and looked up at her mother. She could tell Helen was pondering the question because her brow was slightly furrowed. Molly knew Helen was running down the list of all the stupid things Liam had pulled over the years. Helen was probably focusing on the time that she and Henry had come to visit LA for the sole purpose of meeting him and wound up never even catching a glimpse. It was post–bowling birthday, pre-tour. Molly and Liam had settled into that comfortable couple phase where there were fewer and fewer questions and more time spent just having a good time. Molly should have known that this is precisely the time one does not introduce parents into the equation. Why rock the boat? The whole weekend wound up being a huge disaster. If Helen and Henry knew the real reason they failed to meet him, they would have advised Molly to dump him immediately.
Helen and Henry had flown in on the way to their tropical weeklong escape to Hawaii. They planned one whole day and night in LA before their flight to Maui. Simple enough. Molly picked them up at the airport, settled them into their hotel, and placed a call to Liam from the lobby to make a lunch plan.
“Hi, babe.”
“Molly, are they with you yet?”
“Yeah, we just checked in and now are plotting the lunch stop. Where should we go?”
“I can’t make it after all.”
“Okay.” A little disappointed.
“This meeting came up and I have to go into the studio sooner than I thought. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right. I guess we will just meet up at dinner then?”
“I’ll be there. Little Door at eight-thirty.”
“See you then.”
“Love you.” Hanging up.
Molly stuffed her phone back into her vintage Gucci blue doctor bag she bought on eBay, and grabbed her valet ticket from the maw. A small twinge was beginning to form at the base of her spine. In retrospect, it was a physical premonition. Helen strolled over to her daughter and linked her arm through hers. Henry followed suit on the other side.
“Guys.” Unwinding herself. “I am twenty-seven years old. The double-hook job is a little nineteen-eighty-six.” Snapping at them.
“Sorry.” Blurting in unison.
Molly looked up and saw a bit of crest fall.
“No, I’m sorry. That was really rude.” Reattaching herself. “I didn’t mean to snap. Looks like Liam won’t be meeting us for lunch after all. Something came up.”
“That’s too bad.” Understanding his daughter. “He is coming tonight?”
“Definitely. And so is Jay.”
“Oh, good. It’s been too long since we saw her last.”
“So what would you two like to eat?”
“I have a craving for the Ivy’s chop salad,” Helen mused.
“The Ivy it is.”
Molly and her parents had spent the day much how they usually did when they went on city vacations together. They ate and then shopped. After hitting pretty much every shop near and far, Molly dropped them at the hotel for a rest and a shower. She headed home for a rest of her own. She unlocked the door, threw her packages on the counter, and grabbed a water from the fridge. After a mini stretch routine using the kitchen counter as a ballet bar, the twinge still would not cease to exist. She picked up the phone.
“Jay, will you pick me up tonight?”
“Of course, but what about your parents?”
“They’re going to take a cab. They said they would catch a cab back or we can drop them. Is that cool?”
“Yup. What about Liam?”
“He is meeting us too, or at least he is supposed to meet us.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing, never mind. Get me at eight-fifteen.”
“Coolio.”
Molly grabbed her shopping bags and went into her bedroom. She set them on the bed and went to run a bath. After starting the water, she returned and unpacked her new things. She spread them all on her bed and smiled a little. Free fashion was always a cause for glee. The new black boots would be perfect with the black lace chiffon vintage dress she bought last month at the Fairfax swap meet. Maybe she would toss on her stretchy Seven jeans underneath to dress it all down a bit. Molly put everything away and got in her tub. After a long soak, she primped and preened, and before she knew it the doorbell was ringing.
“Hi.” Kissing Molly on the cheek. “I’m a little early because I wanted to borrow a shirt.” Breezing in and pulling off the sweater she was wearing.
“What do you want?” Following her friend into her bedroom.
“Something girly. I’m feeling very ribbons and bows tonight.”
“How unlike you.”
“I think I am premenstrual.” Opening Molly’s closet.
“Tight? Loose? Color preference?”
“Loose, flowy, and white.”
“Try these.” Handing her two blouses.
Jay tried on the first, a peasant top with red embroidery. It was short sleeved and soft.
“Done.”
“Well, that was easy enough.” Molly, hanging the other one up. “Usually you take forever.”
“I always wanted to borrow this so it was a perfect match.” Spinning on her heels. “Okay, a little lip gloss and we are off. Nice outfit by the way. Are those the Marc boots you wanted?”
“Yeah.”
“I need my parents to come to town.”
“Might I remind you that they live here?”
“Oh yeah, you know what I mean.” Grinning. “Let’s go.”
Molly grabbed her purse and noticed that her twinge had eased slightly. Her best friend’s attitude always seemed to set her straight. Jay was a mean mental chiropractor.
Henry and Helen were sitting when they got there. The chair next to Helen glared at Molly.
“Hey, Helen. Henry,” Jay gushed, giving them both big hugs. “I’m so glad to see you.” Sitting next to Henry.
“You look great,” Helen complimented. “I like you with shorter hair.”
“I’m still getting used to it.” Tugging at her bangs. “I had a recent battle with a pair of nail scissors that did not end well.”
“They’ve already almost grown out.” Molly, sitting next to her mom. “Remember when I did that?”
“Do I? You almost took off an ear! Your hair was lopsided for months.”
“I thought it looked cool.”
“I don’t think so,” Henry interjected. “I seem to remember a few tears were shed when you realized you couldn’t tape your hair back in place.”
“I did not.”
“I think it was duct tape no less. We have pictures.”
“Well, they do say it has a thousand uses.” Molly laughed.
“Shall we have an apéritif?” Henry asked the group of ladies.
“But of course!” They all agreed.
The waiter arrived at just the right moment.
“A round of Kir Royales, please,” Henry ordered.
“I’ll bring those right away, along with some menus.”
Twenty minutes later, their glasses were empty, and the menus sat closed on top of the table. Pleasant conversation tinkled all around Molly, but she was nowhere to be found. Lost in the seams of the upholstered cushion covering the empty seat. Maybe if she gazed long enough, he would materialize from amid the stripes in the fabric. Another five went by and Henry glanced at his daughter, then back at his wife. Helen nodded quietly.
“Molly, let’s order and he can catch up when he arrives.” Squeezing Molly’s hand across the table.
“Of course.” Snapping back to attention. “I’m just going to go outside and call him and see what h
appened. Mom, I’ll have the scallops to start and the lamb.”
Molly bobbed and weaved through the tables and pushed open the door of the restaurant. She almost ran smack into Liam.
“Hey, careful there, kid.” Holding onto Molly’s arm.
“Sorry.” Pulling him into a hug.
Molly could smell the alcohol all over him. He was sticky, drenched with the perfume of vodka and pot.
“What the fuck!” Pushing him away from her and glaring.
Liam fell back and had trouble steadying himself. He grabbed her arm again for balance and Molly quickly shook him off.
“You’re completely wasted! You’re such an asshole!” Raising her voice. “Did you drive yourself here?”
“Nope. Elena and Zander dropped me off.”
“Oh, fuck you! Of all nights.” Shaking her head.
“Everything’s fine, really.” Slurring his words. “Stop yelling.” Putting his hand to his head. “I had, like, one drink.” Looking at her with buzzing eyes.
“More like five and God knows what! You can’t even focus.”
“I can. Watch.” Putting his head back and doing the finger to nose drunk test. He missed.
“My parents are in there waiting to meet you.”
“I know, let’s go.” Grabbing for her again. “That’s why I’m here. Henry and Ellen.”
“Helen. Look, just go home.”
“No, I want to meet them.”
“Just leave—you are not seeing my parents like this.” Molly dialed a cab company. “I need a cab, please. The Little Door on Third between Crescent Heights and La Cienega. The name is Liam. Thanks.”
“Molly, I don’t want to leave.”
“Well, how about you do what I want for once and get the fuck out of here!”
“Molly?” Jay popped her head out of the restaurant. “I just was checking …”
“Jay!” Liam interrupted and threw his arms around her. “Hi!”
“Hi, Liam.” Patting him on the back as she tried to extricate. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope, I called him a cab. There is no way in hell he is going in there.”
“Good plan.” Still trying to extricate. “He’s a mess.”
“I can’t believe this.”
The cab pulled up and Jay deposited Liam into the backseat. He rolled in without further protesting. Molly leaned in.
“Do you have money?”
“Yeah.” Pulling rumpled bills from his pockets as he turned them out.
Molly closed the door and told the driver where to go, then she turned around and took a deep breath. The cab pulled away.
“Never a dull moment with that one,” Jay cracked, trying to lighten the moment. “Here.” Handing Molly a tissue from her purse.
“The little fucker.” Wiping off the tears. “The one thing I ask of him that’s important to me.”
“Look, shake it off for now. Let’s go have a nice dinner with your parents.”
“Okay.” Straightening up. “I’ll try.”
Molly and Jay returned to the table just as their appetizers landed.
“Ah, I knew the old leave-the-table trick would work.” Jay, joking as she sat down. “It never fails.”
“What happened to you two?” Helen asked.
“Well, Liam got caught at the studio, and Jay wanted company while she smoked a cigarette.”
“Still smoking, huh?” Henry asked.
“Yup, but I’m down to a few a day.”
“Good for you, Jaycee. I’m sorry about Liam. I guess we will meet him another time.”
“Next time.” Changing the subject. “This looks great. I’m starving.”
Knowing their daughter well, Helen and Henry dropped the subject and regaled the girls with the trials and tribulations of getting the restaurant up and running. It was coming down to a matter of months before they would open Helen’s. They split a few bottles of wine, had both dessert and cheese, and all left satiated. Molly and Jay dropped Helen and Henry off at their hotel, hugged and kissed them good-bye, and headed back to Molly’s. Jay idled by the curb.
“Wanna hang out a bit?” Jay, asking.
“No, I just want to go to bed. I feel buzzed and a little deflated.” Kissing Jay on the cheek. “Thanks for everything.”
“No problem. It’ll all be fine in the morning.”
“Whatever. I’m beat.” Getting out of the car and throwing Jay a wave.
Molly flopped her bag, keys, and self down on the couch and let out a big sob. What a disaster. So much for carefully made plans. Apparently, Liam did not respond to carefully made plans. Molly fell asleep wondering if she would have the patience to make any more.
The next morning Molly awoke on the couch in her bra and panties. Her clothes lay crumpled on the floor. The sound of the doorbell eased her off the makeshift bed. She tumbled off the couch, rubbed her eyes, looked through the peephole, and opened the door. Liam stood there freshly showered and shaven.
“You have a key.” Turning her back to him and walking into the kitchen.
“I thought knocking was a better choice.” Following after her. “I brought you a latté and the paper.”
“Thanks. Just set them down.” Pouring herself some juice. “Want some?”
“Please.”
“Advil?”
“I already downed a few.”
Molly poured another drink and handed it to him. She slowly drank hers and could not bring herself to look him in the eyes. She didn’t know what would come out of her mouth.
“I’m going to jump in the shower.” Walking past him.
“I’ll wait.”
“Whatever.”
Molly stripped and stood naked in the shower, water enclosing her. She heard the bathroom door open and watched Liam come in and take off his clothes. He pulled open the shower curtain and stepped inside. Molly shifted around so he could get into the spray. Liam picked up the shampoo and gently began to wash Molly’s hair. It was a routine Molly had gotten used to. He caressed her head, then her shoulders, washed her back with the soap. Molly turned around and let the water wash over her. Liam leaned down to kiss her. Molly turned her head.
“It’s not that easy. I’m not that easy.” Finally looking up at him.
“I’m so sorry.” Wrapping his arms around her. “I really had every intention of being there—well, being there with all my faculties.”
“That’s the problem. You seem to have this disconnect between your intentions and your actions. I just don’t understand what would possess you to get super fucked up when you know I was counting on you to be there, be there for me?”
“I was in the studio with the guys, Zander stopped by, one thing led to another, and time just got away from me.”
“It sucked.” Biting her lip. “Things have to change. You have got to figure out your priorities.”
“I know. I think part of me got so fucked up on purpose. I was nervous about meeting your parents. I freaked.”
“That sort of makes sense, but if you didn’t want to do it, you should have just said something in the first place instead of creating all this drama. It’s not like I was pressuring you to meet them. You said you wanted to, you even suggested it!”
“I know I did, and I do. I don’t know what is wrong with me sometimes.” Putting his hands on her face. “And I know things have to change. I have to change. I promise to try harder and handle things better.”
“I feel like I have heard all this before. I can’t deal with empty promises from you. I hurt when you break them. I really do.” Starting to cry.
“Shush.” Trying to console her. “It’s going to be different. I’m going to clean up my act.”
Liam and Molly looked at each other for a long time, standing still and letting the water embrace them. Liam leaned down again to kiss Molly and this time she let him. Once again, two became one.
Molly rolled over again and touched her face. She could almost still feel the water and his kiss. Helen sh
ifted next to her and looked at her daughter. Molly was a million miles away. Helen knew she had to tread lightly. Whatever she said, she knew in that moment Molly was still in love and would go back for another try. It was the way Molly was gazing at the ceiling with a soft smile tugging at the edges of her mouth. After Alex had told her and Henry the gist of what happened, Helen cried quietly in her bathroom for an hour. She was terrified for her daughter. But despite how afraid Helen was that Molly was involved with a man whose highs would be great, true, and strong and whose lows would be many, devastating, and life changing, this was her girl’s path. All Helen could do was walk the tightrope between giving careful advice and accepting her daughter’s decisions. It would be slippery and incredibly difficult.
“Molly, deep down he’s a good man—smart, charming, successful. I like him. He’s funny and easygoing. He has money and a career doing what he loves and I know he loves you. But I’m not all that sure he loves himself.”
“So Alex filled you in?”
“We got the two-minute recap.”
“And?”
“I think that he is a little afraid to just be. That’s why he drinks and whatever else he does. That’s why he gets swept into other people’s moments and forgets where he really should be. Maybe he’s not sure that if he says no to something, anything, that there will be other moments. He doesn’t want to miss anything.”
“So instead he says yes to too much cocaine and almost dies?!”
“Is that what happened?” Letting Molly tell her own story.
“We had a party. A celebration for him finishing the last song on the new album. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it—you know, placed him in a situation like that when he’s been doing so well lately, but I did. Anyway, Zander shows up and does his little number on Liam, and before I know it, the two of them have taken off on some musical adventure. The next thing I get is a call from Zander on the way to the hospital.”
“It must have been difficult to see him like that.” Stroking her daughter’s hair.
“He looked so bad, Mom. He was so pale.” Crying softly. “I thought he was already dead.”
“This is a lot, Molly, for anyone to take. This man is really lost.”
“I don’t know how to save him.”
“You can’t, Molly. That’s not your job.”
Tangled Up in Daydreams Page 15