“What kind of music do you think they’ll play in an apocalypse situation?”
“Easy listening, maybe.”
Ike turned on the radio. He tried several frequencies, but found nothing on the air.
“This is the static network!” Ivy said. “Stay tuned for the latest snarls!”
“Quiet! You’re breaking my concentration.”
“You should concentrate on the road ahead.”
“Quiet!”
“Yeah, you said that already.”
“No, I mean quiet as in I think I got something.”
“Oh, that quiet.”
Man on the radio:
“There’s still hope. And the light at the end of the tunnel may be closer than you think. This is you emergency broadcast channel.”
“Oh no! Not that guy again!” Ivy complained.
“Well, if he is a zombie, it’s surely a very articulated one.”
Man continued on the radio:
“A new world is unveiling, with no flaws or defects.”
“Flaws and defects” Ivy whispered. “They’re talking about us.”
“You bet.” Ike agreed.
Man continued on the radio:
“All mistakes of the past will be corrected. All wrongs will be righted. Poverty, reckless exploration of natural resources, lack of better sanitation policies in the underdeveloped zones of the planet created the perfect conditions for the appearance and spread of this virus, which ultimately decimated the majority of population, like HIV and others before it. But fear nothing. We, the Undertakers, are working hard to rebuild. However, we need your help. Only together, we can make this world a place worth living in!”
“And I’ve always thought rock ‘n’ roll would make this world a place worth living in.” Ike sighed.
“And to many people it has.” Ivy replied. “Too bad rock ‘n’ roll was so underrated over the years.”
Man continued on the radio:
“That’s why we selected a very special group of men and women of intelligence, integrity and good will to start a new era of development and prosperity…”
All of a sudden, distortion grew louder until completely subduing the man’s velvet voice.
Ike pushed buttons on the radio panel in a pointless effort to fix whatever was wrong.
“That’s odd.” He said. “If this is an emergency broadcast channel, how come there’s interference? This is supposed to be the only channel capable to broadcast.”
“Maybe the interference is not coming from some other network.” Ivy suggested. “It might be something else, a storm, a hurricane, ghosts, vampires, zombies…”
“Anyway, this is the first time this guy is interrupted in mid yak.”
A few seconds later, the distortion on the radio subsided and a male voice came to life, but clearly not the same speaker as before. The new one sounded a lot more raucous.
Man on the radio:
“That’s right, my dear chaps, we are your saviors and new best friends, you can call us gods! After all, we did all the dirty work, so you don’t have to worry about a thing! We ridded you from the inferiors, we ridded you from the impure, so now you are free to clean your teeth and get your hair done in peace!”
“What the heck is that?” Ike asked, taking his hair off his forehead.
“Turn it up.” Ivy requested.
“Seriously?”
“That sounds like hot stuff.”
Ike did as girlfriend said.
Man continued on the radio:
“Allow me to paraphrase my distinguished predecessor in this marvelous show: we created this perfect virus to eradicate poverty, but most of all to remove the paupers from the face of Earth, way more room for you and me now. And what a great method we employed to achieve such feat, causing the majority of population to walk the Earth, rotting away and eating fresh people meat, surely an improvement from the rotten fish they ate when alive. And that’s because we, the Caretakers, love you so very much! We want to tongue kiss you and make love to you, blow jobs on demand only. After all, we know that you take showers and brush your teeth regularly, being rich and all. Oops, it seems we got to go now. Stay tuned for more racist bullshit. Toodaloo!
And the distortion came back, not at all pleasant to the ears. Ike turned off the radio.
“Wow!” Ivy gasped. “Somebody really tapped on those Undertakers!”
“But who are these guys?” Ike wondered. “How did they do that?”
“Well…” Ivy shrugged. “Anyway, their days are counted.”
A burning sun hit their faces through the windshield. As the wind crossed the open window, Ike’s t-shirt sleeves dangled back and forth, exposing a wide assortment of tattoos, including a skull, the proverbial dragon and snake climbing, a heart with mommy written in it, but there was one drawing in particular that called Ivy’s attention ‒ a hockey stick with the inscriptions Apocalily Rules! across it on the man’s right biceps.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you.” said the girl. “Do you really believe in this badass road warrior hero shit?”
“I believe. Why? Are you jealous?”
“No, I ain’t jealous. I can’t be jealous of something that doesn’t exist. I don’t mean to disappoint you, babe, but you might as well be honoring a hired actress.”
“More than one hundred confirmed zombie kills in ten minutes! Nope, I don’t think she’s a fraud. Besides, rumors say that Condor City only exists the way it is because of her.”
“Anyway, she’s unreachable. And having her on your arm like that is sort of childish.”
“Is that so?”
“That is so.”
“Okay. Let’s talk about childish, sweetheart. What about all those boxes of DVD with the complete series of Galaxy Rangers? Oh yeah, the ones you purchased right before the outbreak stroke, not to mention all the t-shirts with stamps of the aforementioned TV show.”
“Well, I happen to think Zachary Foxx is kinda sexy. And that Gooseman guy does look like Sting.”
“Right. Now I’m jealous.”
“You don’t have to be. Unlike you, I can tell what’s real from what is not.”
“Take a look at that!”
“You think it is…”
“Well, it looks real enough to me!”
Some constructions emerged on their horizon.
“Do you think it’s Condor City?” Ivy asked.
“It has to be!”
“But, where are the walls and the big gates?”
“Maybe we didn’t get to them yet. Perhaps, those houses up yonder are some kind of outpost before the city.”
“Outpost? You’ve been reading too many comic books!”
“Yeah, same as you! Besides, who cares? Let’s have a look-see. We’ve been on the road for too long now, eating dust and with dead folks trying to eat us.”
“I could use a shower.”
The city grew bigger at every yard, but no signs of walls or gates. Barbed-wire fences were visible in the distance.
“I don’t like this.” Ivy said. “It’s too quiet in here.”
“We are in the middle of an apocalypse. What did you expect, Mardi Grass?”
“What if this town is populated by those flesh-eating folks?”
“They might like our songs then.”
“I’m serious!”
“Relax. Even if this is the case, we have nothing to fear!”
“How can you be so sure?”
“This good old van of mine won’t let us down!”
“It’s rented!”
“So what? This beauty here can take us out of any trouble in the wink of an eye, fast as a lightning, blowing like a thunder…”
A loud thump coming from the hood interrupted Ike’s bragging. Thick white smoke squirted out of it and the vehicle came to a spontaneous halt.
“It really blew!” Ivy said. “What the heck happened?”
“I’m not sure. I guess the engine overheated.”
�
�What?”
“Not enough water in the radiator to cool things down. The engine must be pudding now.”
“What we do?”
“Well, how do you feel about walking under the melting sun, carrying heavy equipment?”
Totally out of the blue, a little girl about eleven years old simply opened one the van side doors, got into the vehicle and shut the door closed.
Ike and Ivy turned to look at her, both surprised.
“Hi little one, what’s up?” Ike asked the new passenger.
“Drive!” The little girl replied.
“I wish I could.”
“Please, sir…” The little girl continued in a very anguished tone. “You need to drive!”
So distracted they were, they did not notice three limousines parking all around their van, blocking its way, not that such measure was necessary.
“HEY!” A man wearing black suit and sunglasses yelled, while tapping with his sidearm the van window on the driver’s side.
Such sudden movement caused Ike to screech startled.
“Jeez, you scared the shit out of me!” Ike protested. “What’s up?”
“Step out of the vehicle, sir.” The man commanded.
“Okay.”
Ike did as told.
“Look, we don’t want any trouble, okay?” Ike spoke with a shaky voice. “If this is a gang thing, we totally respect your territory and we’ll be out of your hair in no time!”
The man took off the sunglasses, revealing blue, very threatening eyes.
“Do we look like street punks to you?” He asked in a harsh tone.
“N-no…” Ike stuttered. “I just want to know what’s going on.”
“We only want the girl. We saw her coming into your vehicle. This is not your business. Just let the girl out and you can go your way.”
“What did she do?”
“She ran away, the little rascal.” The man soothed his voice all of a sudden. “You know children. We’re going to take her back home. As you can imagine, her mommy and daddy are worried sick.”
In the van, Ivy turned to face the very young lady.
“Well, guess this means end of the line for you, shorty.” Ivy said.
That was when she noticed a tear dropping down the girl’s cheek.
“They are going to kill me.” The little girl said.
“Are you guys cops or something?” Ike asked the man in suit.
“Something like that, yes.” He responded disdainfully. “Now, if you please, sir… OUCH!”
The man tumbled down on Ike’s feet after Ivy hit him with a bass guitar. She pushed her boyfriend inside the van and closed the door.
“Why the heck did you do that for?” Ike asked.
“Believe me honey, we have to split!” Ivy replied.
Almost instantaneously, machine gun fire from five other men in black suits turned the vehicle into a sieve.
“Cease fire!” One of them commanded.
They carefully approached the van. The lead-man signaled to another one, who opened the door on the driver’s side. He scanned the interior, but only found seats, steering wheel, and an opened trap door on the vehicle’s floor.
“It’s empty!” He pronounced.
“Hey Mike…” One man talked to the other. “Why is your limo moving?”
“Damn it!” Mike cursed “FIRE!”
They practically emptied their weapons on the running vehicle, but to no avail. It sped out of reach.
“After them!” the lead-man ordered.
All men ran to the remaining limousines, but an angry mob of dead beasts came from all sides, blocking them.
“All that shooting must have attracted them.” Mike analyzed.
“Darn it!” The lead-man spoke. “Alright, reload and shoot them bastards!”
“Man!” Ike gasped in the limo’s wheel. “Those dudes really need to get laid!”
“Are you okay?” Ivy asked the little girl.
She nodded a yes.
“You?” Ivy turned to Ike.
“Yes, I’m fine.” He answered. “But the same cannot be said about the bass guitar. Why did you have to break it, too?”
“I thought you didn’t care for that goddamn bass!” Ivy retorted.
“I’m just saying you could have hit that guy with the guitar, which was already broken!”
“Well, I didn’t exactly have time to think straight, with all those freaks pointing guns at us!”
“Yes, guess you’re right. Sorry about that. I’m a little edgy, you know. Anyway, thanks for saving my hide again.”
“Anytime, my love.”
“Besides, I’ve always wanted to drive one of these!”
“But who are those guys anyway?” Ivy wondered aloud. “Why did they act like that? Condor City was supposed to be a peaceful, welcoming city.”
“That is not Condor City.” The little girl said from the rear end of the limousine. “And those men are evil.”
“Well, little one…” Ike said. “Now that you cost us all our musical instruments and future tours, which would probably never happen anyway, it’s about time for you to tell us your story.”
2nd MOVEMENT
“So, where you’re heading?” Lily asked her new travel companions.
“Anywhere you go!” Nancy answered enthusiastically “If it’s okay with you. Last thing we want is to be a burden.” She had the baby in her arms.
“Not at all” Lily replied. “We surely can use good company.”
“Anywhere in particular you guys are going?” Nancy asked.
“Ah, we’re taking you to a special tour around Lord knows where!” Lily answered “A wonderful place with a nice view of nothingness.”
“But the best attractions are the stops along the way.” Mate completed. “This is the only occasion in which the stops are more exciting than the final destination. We go from town to town to get some food while trying not to become food.”
“Sounds like fun!” Nancy said and looked at the girl, who smiled.
“So, what are your names?” Lily asked.
“I’m Nancy, this is Amy. And he…”
“He what?” Lily insisted mildly, noticing Nancy quieted down all of a sudden.
“I don’t know his name.” Nancy murmured.
Lily and Mate exchanged looks.
“No problem.” Lily decided after all. “We can call him Moses.”
“Why Moses?” Mate asked.
“It sounds about right, considering where we found him.”
“Okay, although Moses was found in a basket, not a crate.”
“It’s close enough. By the way, I’m Lily, this is Clark, my mate. Actually, his name is Mate Clarkson, that’s why I call him Clark.”
“I know who you are.” Amy said.
“Who? Mate or Clark?” Lily joked.
Amy smiled.
“I know you are Apocalily.” She clarified.
“And how do you know that?” Lily queried.
“Come on, Lily.” Clark answered instead of the girl. “You coming in a truck that’s the ugly, king size version of bat-mobile, killing monsters with a boomerang and a hockey stick, rescuing a baby in improbable circumstances, those are a dead giveaway, don’t you think?”
“Yes, remind me to wear my mask and red cape next time” Lily retorted “and reinforced panties.”
“I’m afraid I’ve already used all of them.” Clark said.
“You helped, Mate.” Lily continued. “You had a decisive participation in all that and in many occasions before that. But it seems I always get all the credit just because of a stupid YouTube video and a silly nickname.”
“No, this is not so.” Amy intervened. “Mister Mate is a very brave man and we’re also very grateful to him.”
“Call me Clark, sweetie.” He said.
“Not to mention very skillful with the knives.” Nancy observed.
“You should see me chopping carrots.” Clark replied.
“And
the way you saved the baby was kind of cool.” Amy spoke.
“See, Mate?” Lily said. “You climb down a cliff using a ladder made of human ribs one time and got labeled for the rest of your life.”
In the near distance, a rest stop grew bigger as they went.
“What do you say we wet our whistles, Clark?” Lily suggested. “We need to renew our stock of soda pops.”
“I could use a drink and a bathroom, not necessarily in this order.” He agreed.
“How about you, guys?” Lily asked the guests “Are you up for some leg stretching?”
“Yes.” Nancy responded. “Actually, it’s a good thing, because Moses here already used the bathroom. He’ll need those reinforced panties.”
“That we can get” Lily said. “Can you handle this?”
“Yes, sure” Nancy replied. “I did a lot of babysitting in my time.”
“That reminds me…” Lily said. “What exactly happened to you?”
Nancy hesitated.
“Like I said, we had an accident.” She finally said, but her voice faltered.
“Yes, you said that already.” Lily pointed out. “But I’d like you to elaborate a little more on the subject, if it’s not a problem.”
“Actually, we kind of witnessed your accident.” Clark said. “We saw the van you were in fall down the cliff, overturn ten times and you flying out of it.”
Apocalily Series (Book 2): The Almighty Lady of Tomorrow Page 2