She sighed. “All I can tell you is that your father and I have something standing between us. And before you ask, there’s no way for us to compromise on it.”
“But if someone bends—”
Thea shook her head. “Ask him to explain.”
“Why are all men dorks?” the girl asked, then heaved a big gusty sigh.
“Not all of them are. And when you meet a man who rings your chimes, I guarantee you won’t think he’s a dork.”
“I’m never falling in love.”
“Like I believe that.” Thea laughed. “Now go back to your party. It’s almost time for cake. And Connie worked long and hard on it.”
“Okay.” But the teen hesitated. “Can I call you? I mean, if there’s anything I need to talk over, when I get to UCLA?”
Impulsively, Thea hugged her. “You can call me any time, sweetie. I sincerely mean that.”
“Thanks.” Then she walked outside and joined a group of teenage girls at a table under the trees.
Tears filled Thea’s eyes as her gaze automatically went to Scott. A profound, aching sadness filled her as she stared at his handsome profile, smiling at something his brother said. Soon the party would be over and their only connection would be their respective escrows. When they closed, any link to him would be history.
If, as the saying went, timing was everything, then she had nothing. She’d been lucky enough to meet another wonderful man and she found it unbelievably tragic that there was no way to resolve their differences.
She’d worked so hard to keep from falling in love with Scott because deep down she’d known her heart would get broken.
And this was one time she hated being right.
Chapter Fourteen
The day after Kendra’s party, Scott opened his door to the last person in the world he expected to see. The sight of Thea sent a jolt of joy arcing through him, followed almost instantly by a shaft of pain.
“Scott.” She backed up a step, obviously surprised to see him. “I’m sorry. I-I…Kendra said you weren’t home,” she finished lamely. Nervously, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
So that was why his daughter had looked so funny after answering the phone and out of the blue said she was going to the mall. She was playing matchmaker. “Sorry. I still live here until escrow closes.”
He hadn’t meant to sound so abrasive. But it was hard to concentrate when his brain was busy memorizing the way the sun picked out the red in her brown hair and made it flash and sparkle with even the slightest movement.
She was staring at him, too. “I don’t mean to bother you. But last night I left some serving dishes and a few other things after the party. I stopped by to pick them up.” She met his gaze, then half turned away. “But it’s all right. I can do it another time.”
He shook his head. “Now’s fine.”
Even though it hurt to look at her. Deep inside, where no woman had ever touched him before, he ached. Watching her throughout the party last night had been a mixture of pleasure and pain. Pleasure because just looking at her did that to him. And pain because he couldn’t have her, not under the circumstances.
When she’d left last night, it was as if some light inside him sputtered and went out. He figured that was the last time he would see her. And he was resigned to that. The lie was bitter inside him, although he would make it the truth if it was the last thing he ever did. But at this very moment, he couldn’t make himself send her away.
“Come in.”
“Thanks. Kendra said she stacked the things on the island in the kitchen. I’ll just get them and be out of your hair.”
Just because she walked out of his house didn’t mean she would be out of his hair. Not as long as he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
He sighed as he followed her to the back of the house. It took every ounce of his self-control to keep from pulling her against him and kissing her until they were both breathless and wanting.
In the kitchen, he spotted her stuff on the island, just as she’d said. He cleared his throat and, if there was a God in heaven, his voice would be normal, or at the very least, neutral.
“Yeah. Here it is,” he said.
She inspected the sizable stack of serving dishes, warming trays and assorted spoons and linens. “It looks like everything is here.”
When she started to grab the collection, he put his hand on her bare arm to stop her. Warmth from her skin zinged through him, leaving sparks that threatened to reignite that light inside him.
He took his hand away and forced himself to ignore the tingle that wouldn’t stop. “I’ll take that out for you.”
“Thanks, but that’s not necessary. It’s bulky but not heavy. I can handle it.”
“You’re pregnant,” he said simply. But there was nothing simple about those two words. They changed everything and turned his world upside down.
“Having a baby, true. But I’m not handicapped. I carry things all the time.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t. Why didn’t you send Connie to pick this up?”
“Because I can handle it.”
“For someone who was so cautious she wouldn’t even talk about her condition, this attitude seems a tad cavalier.”
The angry words told him he hadn’t achieved neutrality toward her yet.
A muscle moved in her jaw as her eyes flashed. “Okay. If you’re going to keep up the martyr routine and be snarky, there’s no reason I should soft-pedal anything. I didn’t send Connie to pick up these things because she’s pretty angry with you and I couldn’t guarantee your safety.”
He was the one who’d been kept in the dark from day one, he thought. Although her “martyr routine” crack cut deep.
“What the heck did I do?” he asked.
“You hurt me.”
“I hurt you?” he said. “Excuse me, but weren’t you the one withholding pertinent information?”
“Think back, Scott. And be honest with yourself. I tried to keep distance between us. I tried to get you to back off. But you and your pesky determination wore me down.”
“You knew from day one how I felt about being finished with raising children. All you had to say was, ‘I’m pregnant.’”
“I hardly knew you from a rock,” she snapped. “I’m not in the habit of revealing intimate details of my life to any Tom, Dick or Harry on the street.”
“You were in my house.”
“Don’t split hairs. You were a client. That didn’t entitle you to my personal, private information.”
He put his hands on his hips as he stared at her. “Has your life always been this top secret?”
“As a matter of fact, no. I used to be much more open. But that changed when I opened my big mouth to people I thought were my friends. I found out you can’t trust anyone.”
He had a bad feeling about what had put the wary, wounded look in her eyes. Maybe she wouldn’t answer, but he decided to ask anyway. “What happened?”
Her eyes glowed with anger. “It was right after David was diagnosed with cancer. He had a lot of paid time off that he could take for treatment and wanted to keep his condition just between the two of us.”
“What happened?”
“I decided that for him to successfully fight the disease, he needed the support of everyone around him, including his co-workers.”
“And?” This was like pulling teeth.
“And I found out the hard way that my husband’s instincts were right. He was one of two candidates in line for a promotion with more benefits. The other guy went to his boss and revealed David’s condition. He was advanced. David was put on administrative leave—sick leave, they said. And claimed it was in his best interests so he could concentrate on getting well. But we had to pick up the cost to keep our medical insurance in force. Administration wanted to unload deadweight.” She laughed harshly. “No pun intended.”
“That doesn’t seem right. Surely you had some recourse?”
Her mouth tightened for
a moment before she said, “I wanted to fight it, but David didn’t have the stamina to battle on two fronts. And his health was the most important fight. That was when I started catering on the side to earn extra money. I was an office manager by day. But we’d opted to take our medical benefits through David’s job and after his diagnosis, he had a pre-existing condition and no insurance company would touch him. So they got away with it.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “That’s rough.”
“It was a nightmare. A painful lesson. But it taught me to play my cards close to the vest.”
“Yeah. But, you and I—this was an entirely different situation.”
“Oh? I was here for a catering job. How was I to know you wouldn’t say pregnant caterers need not apply?”
“Now you’re splitting hairs. Besides, pretty soon you won’t be able to hide your condition.”
“I wasn’t hiding anything. And like I said, I tried to get you to back off, but you wouldn’t. I didn’t set out to make you fall for me. And I certainly didn’t intend to—” She brushed the back of her hand across her cheek. “Oh, never mind. This is pointless.”
“No. You didn’t intend to what?”
Her eyes blazed when she met his gaze. But mixed in with the sparks were tears. “I didn’t intend to fall for anyone. My goal is to bring a healthy baby into this world and raise him or her by myself to be the best human being possible. This child is a part of David. After the way I betrayed him, the least I can do is make sure his DNA will go on.”
“Are you still in love with him?”
Scott wasn’t sure what made him ask. But suddenly it was damned important for him to know.
Her chin lifted just a fraction and the sparks in her eyes burned out, leaving only the tears. “I’ll always love David.”
She looked at the stack of things beside her as she rubbed a knuckle beneath her nose. “You know, suddenly warming trays and serving dishes aren’t so important. Since we’re closing escrow soon, just leave them for me when you move out.”
She slid him a weak smile, then walked past him and out the front door.
Scott felt as if he’d been flattened by a three-hundred-pound linebacker. She still loved her husband?
“This bites,” he snapped.
He wanted to hit something. The pain might take the edge off what he felt inside.
And he had to admit Thea was right. He’d noticed her putting distance between them. And he’d planned to play it her way until his brother talked him into giving it one more try.
“Remind me to thank Mike,” he said to the empty room.
He was angry at Thea. Angry at his brother. But mostly, he was furious with himself because he still wanted her.
And he didn’t know how to make it stop.
Thea walked up the plant-and shrub-lined sidewalk to the escrow company. When the loan officer had called to set the time for signing papers, Thea had made sure Scott was already scheduled in the morning before settling on her own last appointment of the day.
As much as she ached to see him, just to catch a glimpse of him, it was best that she didn’t. He was angry and she couldn’t really blame him. It was all her fault—wrong thing, right reason. Lousy result. She had to move on with her life. She’d done it before, after David’s death. She could do it again.
After muscling open the heavy glass-and-chrome door, she walked into the lobby. Searching the building’s directory there, she found the suite number and then took the elevator to the third floor. When the doors whispered open, she stepped out into the reception area. It should have been empty. It wasn’t. Scott was there, dwarfing one of the standard waiting room chairs.
Her body betrayed her good intentions to move on without him. Her traitorous heart hammered almost painfully, making it difficult to draw in air. On legs that felt about as sturdy as limp noodles, she moved farther into the room.
He looked up. For a split second, she’d swear he was glad to see her. Then his mask of cool indifference slipped into place. It was the expression he’d worn the day after the party, two weeks ago, when she’d told him why she didn’t share her personal information. She hadn’t seen or heard from him since.
“Hi,” she said.
He stood. “Hi.”
Then she got a bad feeling. “I thought you were signing papers this morning. Is there a problem?”
Translation: had he changed his mind about the real estate deal? God knows she’d had second thoughts about living in the house that would forever hold his essence. In a weird way, that thought had actually brought her comfort. Probably because she was completely pathetic.
“No problem. Except I had to reschedule my appointment.” He lifted one broad shoulder in a careless shrug. “A crisis at work.”
At least he didn’t think she’d scheduled her appointment in order to manipulate him somehow. “I hope it was nothing serious.”
She meant that. Really she did. But it was difficult to be completely sincere. Not when the crisis had allowed her one more chance to memorize the laugh lines around his eyes, the mesmerizing blue there, and his strong, square jaw. The irony of the situation didn’t escape her. They were buying each other’s homes because they were at different places in their lives. And she had that to thank for this opportunity to see him one last time.
But the differences were also what stood between them.
“Nothing serious,” he said absently, not looking away. “How are you?”
“Fine.”
“And the baby?” His gaze dropped to her abdomen.
Her body was beginning to change and her clothes were getting a little snug. Her tummy was rounding nicely and all was as it should be, her doctor told her. Everything was fine except for her heart. It would bear the scars of knowing Scott forever. But if he made love to her now, he’d notice her belly and know about the baby. The thought put a catch in her breathing at the same time it made her profoundly sad. A time that should have been perfectly joyful was marred by things that couldn’t be changed.
“The baby’s fine.” She slid her purse strap higher on her shoulder. “My last ultrasound was normal and showed everything looks good.”
“Did you find out the sex of the baby?”
She shook her head. “I want to be surprised.”
“Are you hoping for a boy? To carry on David’s name?”
How like a man to think of that. “It never occurred to me. I guess because girls are raised knowing their last name will change when they marry. But this child will carry David’s DNA whether it’s a girl or a boy. And that’s all I care about.”
He frowned and a muscle in his jaw jerked. “You look tired. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Fine,” she said, with a snap in her voice that she couldn’t suppress.
His rejection of her and the baby had absolved him of the right to be concerned about her. His being sweet and caring and tender was frustrating and just made everything harder.
“How’s Kendra?” she asked, to change the subject.
“I haven’t seen much of her. She’s been shopping and getting ready to move down to school. There’s a program for incoming freshmen to help them acclimate and get the most out of the college experience. It was her idea to do that and I agree it’s a smart move.”
If she’d just met him, she might have thought he was trying to get rid of his daughter. But she knew him too well now. He only wanted what was best for his child, like any loving parent.
The last time Thea had seen Kendra was the night of the graduation party. She recalled the girl asking questions about their relationship and wondered if she’d quizzed him yet. If not, Thea should warn him so he could spin it whatever way he wanted.
“There’s something you should know—”
“I hate when someone says that. The ‘something’ is never good.”
She smiled and marveled that he could make her do that, what with all the pain bottled up inside her. “I didn’t mean to be overly d
ramatic. It’s just that I talked to Kendra the night of the party.”
“And?”
“She asked about you and me.” Thea couldn’t quite meet his gaze. Her own settled on a spot just below his jaw, a place she’d very much enjoyed kissing.
“What did you tell her?” he asked sharply.
“Not much. I suggested she ask you.”
“She hasn’t said anything. What does ‘not much’ mean? She didn’t even know there was a you and me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. She noticed. And she especially didn’t miss the tension between us the night of the party.”
“So what did you tell her?” Speaking of tension, his jaw tightened noticeably.
“I just said you were angry with me.”
The last time she’d seen him, Thea had forgotten to warn him about this. Not surprising since she’d had a lot on her mind. Actually not a lot. Just Scott. But he felt like everything.
“Did you tell her you’re pregnant?” he said, frowning.
“No. I thought it best that you explain.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Swell.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to say she was sorry, but Thea suppressed the words. Enough apologizing, already. She hadn’t set out to hurt anyone. She’d tried to be true to herself and her child. If she had it to do over, she would do things differently. Hindsight was twenty-twenty. But she could have given Kendra an earful and didn’t.
She put her hands on her hips. “Look, Scott, she asked and I had to tell her something. She’s smart as a whip and noticed things changed between you and me after Mother’s Day.” How ironic was that? “She was afraid it was her fault somehow and I wouldn’t let her think that. I told her there’s something standing between us and there’s no way to compromise.”
“Hmm.” His comment was just shy of a grunt.
Not especially helpful communication. “I didn’t think it was fair to you that I explain your feelings to her. She’s just gone through an insecure time and I didn’t want to make it worse.”
Thea stared at him, wondering how it was possible to be so angry with this man and so in love with him at the same time. The realization stunned her. She’d believed love would never again be in the cards for her. Yet it had happened. But no way would she admit as much to him. What was the point?
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