“How can you be so sure?” I ask, staring at my palms as I slowly unfurl my fits. There are fingernail marks in the centre of my palm.
“Because we both know your motivation. You won’t let me down.”
“So, this 20k I owe you. Do you pay that each time these guys don’t make it?”
“No, kid. Tonight is just a qualifying fight for you. You make it, you’re in and I pay. And that’s when we’re in business.”
The comment makes me feel slightly relieved. And I wonder if it’s worth throwing the fight just so I don’t have to be in business with this guy. But then I realise that I’m not going to get out of this that easily. Nelson would call DHS.
I rub at the nail imprints on my palm, looking ahead as he talks a little longer about his good feelings. I sit quietly, nervous about this ‘business’ we’re getting into. So, as much as he talks, I don’t really listen as we speed down the freeway toward Wonderland, the old theme park that shut down years ago. Its rollercoasters stand as imposing black shadows against the deep blue of the starry night sky as it comes into view.
“Nearly there. Now, when we get out of the car, I don’t want you smiling at anyone. Got it? Ain’t none of them good people. So you keep your head down.”
His warning causes the nerves to tumble about in my guts again, but I force my breathing even and just nod as I note the long snake of cars, making their way into the normally unused car park. We drive up to a gate where Nelson’s goon-driver gets us checked off the list and we’re let through to a smaller, private car park.
“Time to make some money,” Nelson says, rubbing his hands together as he grins lasciviously. I try to smile back, but I can’t. I’m too nervous and there’s too much greed in his eyes. I can’t stand greed, it turns my stomach. I’m doing this because I need money. Not because I want it.
Opening the door, I step out onto the gravel. It crunches audibly beneath my feet and everyone’s around me. There are about twenty cars in this parking area with more coming. I wonder how long this fight is going to go for and what is the likelihood of the cops turning up and carting us all off. I have visions of this all turning bad and blowing up in my face.
“Come on, kid. There’s some people you need to meet first.”
“Can we just wait for a moment? The others aren’t here yet.”
“Time is money, kid. Come on.”
I glance back at the gate where cars are still being let in. Then, keeping my head down, I follow Nelson through the cars toward a gathering of men and scantily clad women. It looks like something off the set of a B-grade fight movie. But here, the guys who look like they’d kill you for looking at their girl the wrong way, probably would.
“Jasper. This here is the fighter I was telling you about,” Nelson says to this older looking guy who is so tall and broad that he could be one of the villains in the cartoons the kids watch. When he smiles, he has one gold tooth on his left side. His smile is anything but welcoming.
“You reckon this one is going to make it to the next round for a change?” Jasper says, his English accent surprising me as I expected him to have an Aussie one like the rest of us.
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
Jasper sucks his teeth. “Shirt off,” he instructs me and I comply. Then he looks me over as if I’m a piece of merchandise. He even slaps me in the chest and on my back like I’m a race horse he’s inspecting. “He’s steady on his feet. But, mate, he’s just a kid. He don’t even have his man’s strength yet. He ain’t makin’ it against the big boys. You’re fuckin’ dreamin’ here. What’s his name?”
I feel a bit like I’ve just been called a scrawny child and for a moment, I wonder if I’m even going to make it past this meeting.
“Zac ‘The Hammer’ Steel,” Nelson says, moving his hands through the air like he’s seeing my name in lights.
“Alright, old friend. I’ll put him in the third fight.” He scratches something in a leather notebook with a short pencil as he gives instructions to a small bald man who nods and makes notes in a book of his own.
“Thank you, Jasper. This guy will be great. The best yet. I promise.”
“Yeah, yeah, tell your story walking.” We turn to leave. “But Nelson, if this kid doesn’t make it past tonight, I don’t want to see you back here.”
Nelson nods and leads me away but not before I catch Jasper commenting that he thinks that Nelson has more money than sense.
“There you are,” Jason calls out, catching up to me as I pull my shirt back over my head. “Thought we lost you for a second.”
“We’re in the third fight,” I tell him as we follow Nelson and company through the entrance gates and into an area where there used to be a concession stand. It’s been torn down now, and in its place there’s a cage made out of builder’s fencing. The flooring is just concrete, so the last thing you want to do is go to ground.
All around, people are milling about, checking out the fighters and placing bets. Nelson introduces me to a few other people with this great pride because he’s expecting something out of me that I hope to fuck I can give. I wonder about his history with that guy, Jasper and how many times he’s tried to get a fighter into this circuit. There are a lot of unknowns here, and I feel as though I’m the one who’s risking the most.
Trying to clear my mind, I try to take in as much information as I can about the other fighters. I have to win. It’s the only thing that matters. Not the noise around me. Not the women who are smiling at me or the stares of other fighters who are trying to psych me out. Not the people yelling out to change their bets to bookies after the first fight is announced. None of that. I simply keep my eyes on the cage where the first two fighters are now standing, ready to assess the competition. Ready to work out how to win. Ready to protect my family the only way I know how.
Nine
Evie
“You should come out with us,” Sisley says as I walk her and Lucas out of the gym. We’ve spent all afternoon and evening here, taking advantage of the new café my mum installed to get something to eat after getting a great workout in a boxing circuit that had us sweating our arses off. A workout and time chatting with friends was just what I needed after dealing with the ignorance of those people at school today.
The gym is so much different to what it was when I was a kid. My mum has taken over most of the day to day running of it and she’s expanded it to the point that we’re offering more classes than ever, as well as adding the café in the last six months. Originally, it was just an Aikido dojo, but as the years have gone by it’s become so much more. We offer a variety of martial arts classes as well as general fitness and gym classes. It’s like a fitness mecca. You can do everything here. Mum even has plans to put a sauna and masseuse in as well, but that’s something for the future.
I keep telling them they need to put a cage in and start training people in MMA. We’re already halfway there, so why not go whole hog? It’s so popular these days and I don’t see why they won’t profit from it. But so far, she hasn’t listened.
“We were going to catch a late movie,” Sisley continues.
Shrugging, I look back over my shoulder and through the glass door where my mother is talking to one of her trainers about something. With her long auburn hair tied at the base of her neck, it drapes over her shoulder looking thick and luxurious against her gym clothes. When she places her hands on her hips and pulls her head back slightly, I can tell she’s getting aggravated.
“No, it’s cool. I’d better help mum close up. Are you doing anything tomorrow?”
“Yeah, there’s a barbeque for Lucas’ nan’s birthday.”
“You could probably come,” he offers.
“Nah, it’s fine. I really need to study for exams anyway. I’ll see you guys on Monday, yeah?”
“Sure. And we’ll find out when the next fight is on, and we’ll go check it out with you,” Lucas says, both of them giving me a hug before walking over to Lucas’ car and getting inside. I
wave to them and turn back to the gym, feeling a slight pang in the pit of my stomach. I haven’t really felt it before, but I’m beginning to realise that it’s either loneliness or jealousy because I’ve been getting it more and more lately. I get it when I see the connection between Sisley and Lucas, and I get it even worse when I think about Zac. I don’t know. It’s not as if I’m seeing him or anything, but I guess things are just changing and it makes me feel weird. The days of hanging out as friends is over and we’re growing up. Problem is, I’m not sure I’m ready for my world to change. Not that it matters what I want, it seems to be changing anyway.
“Is everything OK with you?” mum asks as I push back through the front door of the gym. She’s finished with her employee now and is writing something in a large diary that is open on the reception counter.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because your two best friends are a couple now.”
Looking down at my hands, I let out a sigh before I meet her eyes. “I know. I’m a third wheel. I need to let go.”
“Oh, I don’t think you need to let go. Things are just changing. You’ll be finished with school soon and at university next year. It’s not the three of you against the world anymore.”
“I don’t even know if I want to go to uni, Mum. Why can’t I just get my training qualifications and work here?”
She smiles and flips the pen around in her fingers. “Because I don’t want you working here. I want you to go out and learn everything you can and then at the end of it, if you still want to work at the gym, then by all means, please do. But when you’re eighteen, while it may feel like you know everything, there’s still a big world out there. You need to be out there in it. And trust me, uni is an entirely different ballgame.”
“What if it isn’t for me?”
“You won’t know until you try. Come on, let’s get the stragglers out of here and close up. I’m sure there’s some wine in the fridge at home. I know you said you don’t really like drinking, but if you don’t mind a little, I’ll share it with you.”
“Seriously? You want to have a drink with me?”
“Well, your father doesn’t drink and you’re eighteen now. You’re legal, and sometimes it’s nice to sit and chat with a glass at the end of a long week.”
I think about it for a moment and wonder if I’ve got her all wrong. “Mum, if I told you there was a massive party most weekends out where all the farms are and that I wanted to go and check it out, what would you say?”
“First, I’d say ‘still?’ because those parties were happening when I was at school, and then I’d want to know that you were going with someone else. Why, is hanging out with your mum on a Friday too uncool?”
“No, no, it’s not that. It’s just…I’ve been there before. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how you’d react. I didn’t know how dad would react.”
She nods and holds up her hand for me to wait a moment then takes a walk around the gym, asking the final couple of patrons to end their workout as we’re closing. Then she returns to where I’m still waiting for her.
“I’m not going to say that I’m not disappointed and I’m not going to say I’m surprised either. You are my daughter and I can’t expect that you wouldn’t get up to as much mischief as I did at your age. But I had hoped that we were close enough that you felt you could have talked to me about these things. You’re not doing any drugs out there or anything, are you?” she asks in a hushed tone.
“Geez mum, no. Never. And I’ve only been there once. I…well, you know how much I love watching UFC and…”
“They have fights out there,” she states.
“You know about that?”
“I don’t. But your dad does. He used to make a lot of money hustling fights when we were younger and went to the Londonderry fights a few times before we started dating. I never went there myself. I was more the sneak out and party-by-the-river-with-friends type – well, until my father put bars on my windows anyway.”
“Seriously? Grandad put bars on your windows? You must have been a bit wild as a teenager then.”
“Not really. I just wasn’t very good at listening. If I wanted something, I found a way to have it. Much like another girl I know,” she says, looking at me pointedly.
The last of the patrons leave the gym, waving goodbye to us as they head out the front door. Then we walk around the floor to double check the gym is empty before locking up and heading out to my car, all the while still talking about mum’s past.
“So, if dad used to hustle people for money when he was my age, how come he’s so strict with all of us now?”
“You think your dad is strict? Wow, your dad isn’t strict at all. He and I both have rules that we enforce to try and give you kids the best start in life. Geez Evie, there’s five of you. If we didn’t have unbending rules, our house would be in a state of chaos. People expect large families to be out of control, and when they know about your dad’s history or even if they don’t know, people still have preconceptions. They see this big tattooed man with a wife and five kids in tow, and they immediately judge us as welfare scabs or white trash or whatever derogatory term they want to put on us. But what they don’t know, is that we made each and every one of you out of love and we wanted you all. And on top of that, we work very hard to look after you all and to show the world that no matter what they think, our kids are good kids. I mean, look at you, you snuck out to see a fight one time and you’re already telling me about it.”
“Are you annoyed with me?”
“Not really. But you know you could have just played the ‘I’m eighteen’ card and gone anyway, right?”
I laugh. “No. I did not know that. Once I got in to all that trouble in year ten, I didn’t think you and dad would ever be OK with me going to parties again.”
She shrugs, walking ahead of me as we approach the front door of our home. “That was a bit of a different situation. Those boys were taking advantage and the only way you could get away from their advances was to remove yourself from that scene. I know it made you feel unpopular and that made high school a little harder. But surely you understand why we needed to step in. We couldn’t watch you go down a path that would ruin your future.”
“I know. And I understand that. I got caught up in boy’s attentions and stepping away showed me who my friends were. So I’m glad you found out what was going on and stepped in. But in this case, I guess I was just worried that going out to Londonderry to watch the fights would make you disappointed in my again. It’s not really the best decision I’ve ever made.”
“That’s true. And honestly, I’d rather you didn’t go. But once you’re legally an adult, there isn’t a hell of a lot we can do. You’re free to come and go as you please as long as you continue your schooling and keep helping out at the gym and with your brothers and sisters. Your father and I aren’t ogres. But, if you ever want to know about strict parents, I can take you around to your grandparents’ place and they can run through the list of rules I had to follow as a kid.”
“Um, no. I already know some of them.”
“They only eased up a little when I was eighteen. At the time, they thought my life was a disaster, but, I had you, and eventually your dad and I got our act together and now, well, this is our happily ever after.”
She opens the front door and the noise of our large family hits my ears like rock music. “This is your happy ending?”
A large grin spreads across her face as dad appears, carrying a twelve year old Keith by the ankles and swinging him from side to side while Keith laughs so much it comes out as an excited squeal.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Hey you two,” Dad says as he flips Keith in his arms like he weighs nothing and rights him. “How was work today?”
He kisses my forehead then moves to mum and places his hands on either side of her face and smiles down at her before pressing his lips to hers to welcome her home.
“Busy. Which is fantastic. Evie helped me with the close so I’m going to reward her with a Friday night glass of wine and some girl talk.”
“Can I have one too?” Rose, my fourteen-year-old sister calls out.
“No,” mum and dad say in unison.
“Over eighteens only,” Dad reminds her. “And don’t even think of sneaking a drink while you’re out.I can smell it a mile off.”
“But you can come out for the girl talk,” mum says. “But first, it’s time for the primary school kids to get into bed. It’s after ten.”
“But it’s not a school night,” Annalise whines, hanging over the back of the couch with the remote in her hand so she’s the one in control of the television.
“And that’s the only reason you’re still up. Now go, I’ll come and say good night in ten minutes. I just need a shower first, and so does Yvonne. She stinks.”
She gives me a wink as she heads to her room to shower and dad claps his hands together to get Annalise and Keith moving toward their bedrooms. Craig announces that he’s going to bed too. I take a shower and spend the first evening in a long time, sitting with my mum and my sister, talking about anything and everything, and by the end of it, I don’t feel that pulling in my stomach anymore. I don’t feel lonely. That is, until I lie in bed and think about Zac Rivers. The pulling comes back with a vengeance as every detail of every interaction we’ve had plays over in my head on repeat. I wish I could make it stop but I can’t. There’s something about him that seems to be curling itself around my very being, pulling at my mind and at my emotions, telling me that I need him. It whispers and tells me that my life won’t work without him. And in the back of my mind, I wonder how fine that line is between attraction and obsession…
Ten
Zac
“Next up, Zac ‘The Hammer’ Steel and Glacier Hart!” the announcer calls out. If I wasn’t so fucking nervous, I’d take a moment to find amusement in my opponent’s name. But so much rides on this going well.
“Go on, kid. Show them what you can do,” Nelson says, slapping me on the back and giving me a slight push to get me moving.
Drawn to Fight: Zac & Evie Page 7