Nodding, I step out of the kitchen, but not so far away that I can’t hear their hushed discussion.
“Did you know about this?”
“I knew that she’d gone out to Londonderry. I had no idea she’d found out about the Rumble Circuit.”
“What was she doing there, Henrietta? The scum of the earth runs with the Rumble Circuit. It’s not safe for her there, even with her training. Those people have guns.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Well who is this friend she wants me to train?”
“She hasn’t mentioned anyone new. But it must be a boy. It’s not like her to be so secretive.”
“Of course it’s a boy. A boy who’s involved with an illegal fighting ring.”
“Gee, I wonder who that sounds like.”
“Don’t get cute, Henrietta. I was never involved with something like this. This is the underbelly of the fight industry. What I did was hustle a bunch of drunken jerks who had too much money and no sense. I got asked to do it, but I said no. It’s why I stopped going out to Londonderry. They wouldn’t let me fight because I wouldn’t join the Rumble.”
“OK, well, how much trouble do you think this is going to cause? Are we at risk here? I don’t think you should get involved. You have a record, and if you’re a part of this, they’d send you straight back to prison.”
“But if I say no then what are they going to do to Yvonne? That’s what I’m talking about. How deep is she in this?”
“Ask her.”
“Yvonne.”
I count to five silently in my head so that I don’t seem as though I’ve been standing right around the corner listening in.
“Just get in here, we know you’re right there.”
Stepping out from where I’m situated, I answer straight away. “I’m only in as deep as I told you. The fighter. My friend. He fights differently when I’m around and his manager saw the change and sent a couple of guys to come and get me. I suppose he wanted to know who I was or something. Anyway, I didn’t want to go with them because I didn’t know them, so when he tried to make me leave, I pushed him to the ground and put my knee in his back, just like we’re taught. So in the end, the conversation was all about how I could take down a big tough guy when I’m a girl. I told them I did Aikido with my dad and he immediately asked if it was you. I said yes and he said that he wanted you to train Zac. At first, I said no. Because I didn’t think you’d be cool with it. But then he gave me a little more motivation.”
“What kind of motivation?”
“The kind where he said that he could make Zac’s life really hard if I didn’t teach him how to win. So I said I’d convince you.”
“What you’re convincing me of right now is to go and find this guy and beat the shit out of him instead.”
“Damien,” my mother warns, placing a hand gently on his arm to calm him down.
He turns to her. “No one gets away with threatening my family. Directly, or indirectly.”
“Why is your friend, this, Zac, why is he fighting in this circuit, Evie?” mum asks, trying to put some sense into the conversation.
“I don’t know. I just know that there’s something going on with them at home and I think they need the money.”
Looking at me, my mum pulls dad away from me and they move to stand near the pantry where she leans close to his ear and speaks so quietly that I can’t hear her. But I can see his face grow even more tense and then slowly relax before he turns to her, presses his forehead against hers, then presses a kiss to her forehead.
“OK,” he says.
“OK you’ll train him?” I ask.
“I’ll meet him. But as far as this Rumble Circuit is concerned, I don’t want you involved with it. I don’t care how old you are, don’t go out there. Do you understand me?”
“I understand.”
“OK, get some rest. You’re watching the kids tomorrow.”
“What? Why aren’t I coming to the gym?”
“You’re mother and I will look after this. You don’t have anything to do with it anymore.”
“Are you telling me I can’t see him?”
Dad sighs and places his hands on his hips. “You’re not a kid anymore, Yvonne. I can’t say who you do and don’t spend time with. But as your father, and the man who puts a roof over your head, I’m certainly telling you that you can’t go to another one of these fights. They’re dangerous. You have your whole life ahead of you, Evie. Don’t mess it up over some guy. You want to watch fighting, I’ll buy you tickets. But the Rumble Circuit is off limits.”
I glance at my mother, my mouth open in surprise.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I agree with your father on this one. And while you’re living here…”
“You still make the rules,” I snap. “Yeah, I get it. Looks like I’m just going to have to move out.” With tears stinging my eyes, I spin around and head for the stairs, taking them two at a time in my haste. I hear my mum call my name but I keep going until I make it to my room and then fall face first on my bed, burying my face into my pillow so I can cry. I remember when I thought that turning eighteen would mean that I could do anything, but now I realise that turning eighteen comes with its own set of rules – follow or fight. And for the first time in my life, I might actually have to go against my parent’s wishes.
PART THREE
‘Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer.’
Norman Mailer
Twenty
Zac
At home, I don’t sleep. Instead, I lie on my bed, staring at the paper with the address for Fighting Fit on it, and I watch the time, counting down the hours until I see her next.
I’m tempted to just drive over to her house again, or to call her, but after last time, the way she was so willing to give herself to me, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I know it seems ridiculous that at eighteen I’m still a virgin, and it’s not like I haven’t had the opportunity. But with the way my family is, I just haven’t had the time to dedicate to a girl. Although, since I started fighting and winning, I’ve had a stack of offers that I don’t even have to work for, but by then, I only wanted one girl. And I don’t want her in my van.
At seven, I get up and take a shower. I don’t need one, I had one when I got home, but I need one to calm myself down. So the water is bitterly cold.
When I get out and get dressed, I head into the kitchen to get some breakfast where Meg is already sitting at the table, flipping through the pages of what looks like a fashion magazine.
“Morning,” I say as I walk past her and open the fridge to grab the milk out for my cereal.
“Is it, Zac?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I take a bowl from the cupboard, and a spoon from the drawer and place them on the table with the milk as I grab the box of cereal from the pantry, glancing at Meg with a frown because I don’t know what her problem is.
“Well, here’s me, sitting at home on a Saturday night, babysitting while my brother ‘works’ to provide for us. And I’m thinking – that’s ok. We all need to make sacrifices here to keep the family safe and together. But then, I get a message.”
“A message from who?”
“That part doesn’t matter. The part that does matter is that it contained a photo of you and Yvonne Rhodes, eating each other’s faces off.”
I stop what I’m doing and let out a sigh. “I see,” I say quietly, knowing exactly what’s about to come.
“Explain to me, why I’m doing my part – I’m staying in school and I’m watching the kids so you can train and fight, but you’re out there, getting it on with some girl when we both made a promise that we wouldn’t. What happened to your spiel about family and not being selfish, Zac? What happened there?”
“What happened? What happened!? I lost my fucking mind. That’s what happened. Because I kn
ow we can’t have anything real but I want her. Alright? I want her so fucking much that I’m going insane. And I have wanted her for so long. So. Long. And now, she’s right there, within my grasp, wanting me right back. And I know I shouldn’t touch her, I know I have responsibilities. But she’s right there and I can’t stop myself!” I grit my teeth and try to breathe, the pressure in my head feeling as though it’s on the verge of exploding.
She looks at me, her eyes filling with tears as she shakes her head slowly. “You don’t think that’s how I feel? You don’t think it takes everything in me to give up the man I love?”
“This is not the same,” I argue.
“Why Zac? Because I’m only seventeen and he’s twenty-three? Because of the way we met? He left his job to protect us, Zac. You may see him as a teacher who took advantage. But I see him as a man who fell in love at the wrong place and the wrong time. We didn’t plan it. The connection was just there and…we couldn’t stop it. Maybe you can understand that now.”
I lock eyes with her and watch as hers fill up and spill with tears that she just lets fall, not moving to wipe them from her cheeks.
“I don’t understand anything anymore,” I sigh, turning away and grabbing my keys.
“Where are you going?” she demands.
“Out.”
“No you’re not. You’re not leaving me here babysitting again.”
“I have to train, Meg. If you can’t understand how important this is then I’m not explaining it again. If I don’t train. If I don’t win. We’re screwed. Nelson will report us. Get that through your head. It doesn’t matter what you want. It doesn’t matter what I want. We can’t have any of it. We’re fucking stuck like this.”
“No we’re not Zac. You just want us to be. You’re the one who doesn’t trust anyone. But people know, people figure things out. It’s only a matter of time before this all blows up in our face.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I don’t want this anymore. I’m saying that I don’t want this life.”
I stop, pointing my finger at her as I scowl and really struggle with my need to go to training and my need to be here to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.
“Do whatever you want with your own life, Meg. Just don’t you dare do anything that will hurt them,” I growl, pointing to the stairwell where the kids are still up in their rooms. “Don’t you dare.”
I turn around and slam my way out of the door, jumping into the van and speeding away, wondering the entire drive why life needs to be so damn complicated and hoping to god that Meg doesn’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.
Twenty-One
Zac
I arrive at Fighting Fit about thirty minutes early. But it’s open and when I tell the guy on reception that I was sent here for training, he directs me to a room up the back of the building, saying that’s where the dojos are.
On the walls are photos of the various martial arts crews that train here. There are some great action shots of fighters at tournaments, and I stop when I see a photo of a woman that bears a strong resemblance to the painting I saw Evie working on that day at the school. I stop and study it for a while before a conversation from within the dojo reaches my ears.
I move nearer to the door and see a big guy who I’m sure is Evie’s father, and the woman who is in the picture I was just looking at.
“Damien, think here. She’s our daughter. Our daughter. Do you really think she’s going to just sit at home and do what she’s told?”
“Well, she’s not moving out. She’s barely out of school. She has no job to support herself which means she won’t be able to afford her uni fees. Just no. She’s not leaving.”
“I understand what you’re saying, Damien. Really I do, but I don’t see how we can stop her. If she wants to see this boy then she’s going to find a way.”
“I’m not saying she can’t see the boy. I’m saying she can’t go out to those fights.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I say, picking that moment to step through the doors. “I don’t think she should be at those fights either.”
“Zachary I assume?”
“It’s Zac,” I correct him, as I step toward him to offer my hand in greeting.
“Remove your shoes,” he barks before I place my foot on the blue mats that cover the floor. I pause with my foot mid-air then place it back on the concrete floor, kicking off my shoes and trying again. He takes my hand this time, and while I expect him to squeeze the crap out of it, he doesn’t, he just keeps his eyes on me as if he’s reading the fine print on my soul. It’s fucking unsettling.
“This is my wife, Henrietta,” he says, releasing my hand and introducing him to the woman by his side. “She’s here to make sure I stay calm.”
“I understand,” I say slowly, turning to shake her hand as well.
She takes it, giving me a warm smile as she says, “It’s nice to meet you, Zachary.”
“Zac,” I correct again.
“We only use full names here,” Damien states as he moves into the centre of the mats.
“That’s fair. But Zac is my full name. My mum had this thing about nicknames. She hated the way people shortened her name, Stacey, to Stace. So when she had us, she gave us names that couldn’t be shortened. I got Zac, my sister is Meg, then there’s Will, Rob and Tash. Doesn’t stop the nicknames though, people like to do that regardless. But she tried.” I smile, trying to somehow calm this situation down. I can feel the animosity pouring off his body. And rightly so, if I had a daughter who was interested in a guy like me, I’d be feeling pretty fucking aggressive too.
“Right. So my daughter tells me she’s been following you around this fighting circuit,” he says, motioning for me to come and stand in front of him. I glance at Henrietta, who nods at me, and then step over to him.
“I wouldn’t say she’s been following. She’s been to Londonderry once then last night she found out where the Rumble was. I swear the information didn’t come from me, though. I didn’t want her mixed up in any of this.”
He begins to circle me, like a lion stalking its prey and I turn with him, staying on guard because I can sense that he’s going to lash out at any moment.
“She isn’t mixed up in it now. I am. And that’s not a good thing.”
“That was never my intention.”
“Then what are your intentions, Zac?” he says my name as if it pains him to do so. I can understand his disdain. He sees me as the reason his daughter wants to leave home. The reason she’s jeopardising her future. And I don’t want that. I don’t want that all.
“I don’t have any intentions, sir. Like I said, I don’t want her mixed up in all this. I want her to continue her schooling and to be safe. That’s all I want.”
“You aren’t involved with her at all?”
“I…” I shake my head, about to tell him that nothing is going on but that would be a lie. Because she’s all I think about and I crave her like I’m chasing a hit. So instead, I answer as honestly as I can. “I want her to be my world. But right now, my world is pretty messed up and as much as I know I should stay away, we keep finding each other.”
He pauses his stalk and I wonder if he’s about to attack. But instead he places his hands on his hips and continues questioning me. “Why are you fighting in the Rumble Circuit?”
“Because my family needs the money.”
“What do your parents do?”
“They’re out of work right now.”
“I see. And what happens when this year’s circuit ends. Are you out?”
“I’d like to say yes. But…”
“You need the money.”
“Yeah. And I don’t see that changing.”
“I’d really like to talk to your parents,” he states, and all of a sudden, my heart begins to beat rapidly, and I swear I break out into a sweat.
“Sure,” I force myself to say, knowing that if I make any excuses as to why he can’t see t
hem now, he won’t believe me. He already thinks I’m hiding something, so better not to confirm his suspicions.
“OK,” he says beginning his slow walk around me again. “Attack me.”
“What? Like, run at you, punch you?”
“Whatever you want. Just come at me like you would your opponent.”
“I make them come to me.”
He grins. “I see. And that’s obviously working for you real good,” he says, his eyes lifting to the wound on my forehead. “Come at me.”
Doing as he asks, I step toward him, keeping my eyes on his movement and watching for any sort of wind up or lunge. He does neither, he just continues to walk and as I punch, he spins me like a ballerina and reefs my arm up so I tip forward, landing with a thud on the floor, the constant pain from my ribs, splitting through my vision and turning my stomach with its intensity. I groan in agony.
“Aikido is not a style for fighters. It’s reactive–a style for self-defence. I suggest you go and learn Krav Maga which we don’t offer here. Tell your boss that if he has a problem with that, he can take it up with me. Do you understand that?”
I nod, the pain from my arm intensifying the longer he holds me immobile on the floor. “And Zac, you’re right about my daughter. She doesn’t need to be at your fights, and she doesn’t need to be in your world. Stay away from her.”
I don’t respond because I can’t agree to that request. But he releases me then stands up and walks over to Henrietta, keeping his back to me as I slowly drag my aching body off the floor. There’s one thing everyone at school was right about. Evie’s father is scary as fuck.
“I’d get those ribs looked at if I were you,” he says as I make my way to the door.
And I nod again, groaning out a thanks as I clutch my side and slowly make my way to the van, feeling in more pain than ever before while at the same time, hating my life even more. It seems no matter what I do, things just keep spiralling further and further out of my control. I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to win at any of it anymore.
Twenty-Two
Evie
“Why are you back so early? What happened?” I demand the moment my mother walks through the door. “Is dad with him alone?” Panic grips me when I see he isn’t with her.
Drawn to Fight: Zac & Evie Page 12