by Cindy Dees
Hope flickered in Dutch’s chest.
“However, I’m putting your promotion to major on hold for six months. And—” the colonel leaned forward and nailed him with a razor sharp glare “—if you ever disobey another order I give you, I’ll personally hang you from the highest tree I can find. You got that, mister?”
“Yes, sir.”
A brief silence fell between them. Dutch took a deep breath. Time for the confession that had kept him up all night along with his fear for Julia.
“Colonel?”
Folly leaned a hip against the foot of the bed. “What’s on your mind, Jim?”
Youch. First names, not field handles. The colonel had picked up on the fact that this was going to be a serious conversation. Sometimes having a perceptive boss sucked.
He spoke carefully. “After my brother died, I did some pretty heavy drinking.”
Folly’s mouth twitched. “I know. I paid a couple of the bills for bars you busted up.”
He had? Son of a gun. Dutch pressed on doggedly. “I blacked out eventually. Lost a good chunk of my memory.”
Folly nodded again like this was no surprise.
“I’ve never told anyone, but I lost my memory of the night that Simon died, too. Until I met Julia again and spent this time with her, I had no recollection of what happened during the days leading up to the ambush or of the ambush itself.”
Folly’s eyebrows shot up, but the colonel made no comment.
Dutch pressed on. “I had a blackout the first time I saw Julia in Colorado. Since then, I’ve been having nightmares and I’ve remembered pretty much all of what went on in Gavarone ten years ago.”
A heavy sigh from the colonel. “Nasty piece of business. Too bad it couldn’t just stay buried in your brain.”
“Yeah, well, another nasty piece of business was buried in there, too. One I’m obligated to tell you about.”
The colonel actually sat down on the foot of the bed now. He crossed his arms and fixed a penetrating gaze on Dutch, who did his damnedest not to squirm under the intense scrutiny.
“Lay it on me,” the colonel said quietly.
“I think I knew that Julia was setting us up. She dropped little hints here and there that I picked up on. But I was too…attracted to her…to admit to myself that she was a plant. I’m responsible for leading the squad into that ambush. I should’ve seen it coming. I did see it coming. But I let you all down.”
Folly didn’t move a muscle. Just continued to stare at him intently. For a very long time.
Finally Folly said slowly, “We were all half in love with Julia. She suckered us all. Hell, I’m the one who led the team into that disaster. I’m the one who split everyone up in firing positions all around the compound. I’m the one who put Simon into a forward position, even though he was brand new to the squad. It’s just as much my fault that he died as it is yours.”
“That’s not true—” Dutch protested hotly.
Folly raised a hand and cut him off. “We were young. Inexperienced. The squad had just been formed and none of us knew what the hell we were doing. This gorgeous babe came along and warped all of our brains. She was a great actress and she fooled us all.”
“But—” Dutch interjected.
“But nothing,” Folly retorted. “We succeed as a team and we fail as a team. We all failed Simon that night, Dutch. So maybe you did have an idea in the back of your mind that Julia was a plant. I should have seen it, too. So should all the guys. Besides, even if we had known it was a setup, we very well might have gone in, anyway. I shouldn’t have put responsibility for the whole interaction with the informant on your shoulders. We should have called for more backup firepower.” He threw up his hands. “We did a dozen things wrong that night, all of which contributed to Simon’s death. You’re not the only one whose hands are dirty. We all carry your brother’s memory around on our consciences. Why else would nobody on the squad ever talk about that night, even now?”
Dutch stared. “I thought it was out of respect for my feelings.”
Folly snorted. “Since when are the guys in Charlie Squad that sensitive?”
Dutch grinned. The man had a point.
“Thanks for coming clean with me, Dutch. That kind of trust between us is what makes the squad work. But quit beating yourself up over Simon’s death. Or at least include the rest of us when you decide to have a guilt session so we can all wallow in it together.”
Dutch stared at the colonel. That was it? No court-martial? No walking papers from the squad?
Folly continued, “You’ll need to have a standard psych evaluation when you get back home to clear the blackout thing, but based on what you’ve told me, you had a damn good reason for blacking out. I can’t imagine it’ll pose any problem to you going back out into the field.”
Dutch blinked. His eyesight blurred for a second. What was it with all these sappy moments broadsiding him like this recently? Julia’d made him go soft, dammit.
The colonel nodded crisply, thankfully either ignoring or not noticing Dutch’s reaction. “So. Now that we’ve got that cleared up, you wanna go see your lady?”
Dutch surged up in the bed.
The colonel put a restraining hand on his shoulder. “Hold on, cowboy. They’re making me take you down to ICU in a wheelchair. Seems none of the nurses want to get anywhere near you. Have you been a problem patient, Captain?”
Dutch grinned up at his boss.
He managed to get out of bed and into the wheelchair without flashing his bare ass at the colonel, but was surprised at how winded he was by the brief exertion. Ferrare’s bullets had really done a number on his chest through his bulletproof vest. He had four melon-size purple bruises to show for it.
The colonel wheeled him down several long, quiet corridors. And then they turned into the intensive care unit.
Doc got up from a chair outside a door. The medic grinned. “Good to see you up and about, man.”
Dutch replied seriously. “Thanks for saving her, Joe.”
“Anytime, my friend. Anytime.”
And then the colonel pushed him into a roomful of machines and monitors. In the middle of it all lay Julia. God, she was pale. So small and fragile-looking in the midst of all those tubes and gadgets.
The colonel parked him by her side and slipped from the room, closing the door behind him.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Dutch murmured.
Her eyes fluttered open. It took a moment for her to focus, but then she saw him and her whole face lit up. “Thank God you’re alive,” she said on an exhalation of relief.
“I almost lost you,” he said gruffly. “What were you thinking, trying to save me like that?”
Her lips curved up in a faint smile. “The way I hear it, you’re the one who ended up saving me. Like you always do.”
He shrugged. He’d be just as happy if he could forget those frantic moments when he thought he was going to lose her. Maybe he could arrange another memory block somehow. “Doc did most of the work.”
She replied gently, “Yes, but it was your voice I heard, giving me a reason to fight to live.”
“You heard that stuff, huh?” he mumbled.
“Some of it. Enough of it,” she replied softly.
Had she heard the part about how he couldn’t live without her? “Julia,” he started. And stopped, at a loss for words.
Julia held her breath, even though doing so caused her intense pain. Please God, let him not be about to end their relationship. She waited as he continued to struggle for words.
Finally, she reached out, dragging an armful of tubes with her, and touched his cheek. “What’s on your mind? You know you can be honest with me.”
He sighed. Started again. “Julia. I’ve said some pretty harsh things to you. Believed some pretty harsh things of you. And I was wrong.”
She blinked in surprise.
“I owe you an apology. And I owe you a thank-you for diving in front of me to take that bullet.”
> “You must really think I’m a numbskull for jumping in front of a guy wearing a bulletproof vest.”
A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. “Doc told you about that, huh?”
“Yeah. I guess I looked incredibly stupid, didn’t I?”
“What I saw was an incredibly brave woman willing to sacrifice her life to save mine.”
She looked away, abashed by his praise. An awkward silence formed between them.
Dutch cleared his throat. “Actually, I came to negotiate a surrender.”
She closed her eyes. Of course. Charlie Squad still wanted her to testify against her father. Now more than ever, since he’d slipped through their grasp yet again. “I’ll testify against my father under one condition. You have to get my sister away from him safely.”
Dutch blinked in surprise. “Boss!” he called out.
Colonel Folly opened the door and looked in, along with Doc. “Yes?”
“Julia says she’ll testify against Eduardo as soon as we get her sister away from him.”
“Outstanding.” Colonel Folly turned to Doc. “Are you up for a trip to Gavarone?”
“Yes, sir,” Doc replied crisply. “I’ll get on it right away.”
Folly nodded and told his medic, “I’m not going to tell any of our support people what you’re up to until we find Ferrare’s mole, so you’ll be operating on your own until I can slide some more guys from the team down there without anyone finding out. Will you be all right on your own for a couple of weeks?”
The medic nodded confidently.
The colonel turned back to Dutch and Julia. “Don’t you two have anything more important to talk about than testimony in some dumb old federal investigation?”
Julia grinned at the Colonel’s comical waggle of his eyebrows before he left the room, dragging Doc along with him.
She turned her gaze back to Dutch, whose ears were turning pink, if she wasn’t mistaken. She bit back a smile.
“Actually, that wasn’t the surrender I was talking about,” he said reluctantly.
She drew in a quick breath that she instantly regretted. As the stabbing pain in her chest subsided slowly, Dutch stood up out of his wheelchair.
“Some pair we make, all beat up like this,” she remarked lightly.
“Yeah,” he said gruffly. “Some pair. Why break up a good thing?”
She frowned. She was missing the point. “What do you mean? What does this have to do with my surrender?”
“Actually, I was thinking in terms of my surrender. Of surrendering my heart into your care for, oh, forever.”
She lurched, heedless of the shooting pain in her chest. “Are you serious?”
He grimaced as he leaned down over her, his lovely blue eyes gazing deep into hers. “That’s not exactly the sort of thing I’d joke about, sweetheart.”
“Oh, yes. I accept those terms of surrender!” she cried out softly.
She reached up for him and he reached down for her, but both of them stopped partway and gasped in pain. They both laughed—gingerly. She didn’t care if it felt as if her chest was going to split in two.
She put her hands on his face and looked deep into the beautiful blue ocean of his gaze. “I love you, Jim Dutcher. Forever.”
He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips to seal the deal.
And her surrender to him was complete.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-7107-8
HER SECRET AGENT MAN
Copyright © 2005 by Cynthia Dees
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*Charlie Squad
*Charlie Squad
*Charlie Squad
*Charlie Squad