“I just mean”—she sighs and looks away— “you bring a fresh, different perspective to the house. You’re a new start, in a way. You’re helping them both to heal.”
I look down without saying anything. I’d like to hope that she’s right, but it’s so hard to tell.
“Evi!” My dad interrupts our conversation and comes over to me, embracing me in a tight hug. “I’ve been meaning to call you. My co-workers’ daughter just got a job teaching abroad. I wrote down her information in case you’re interested,” he says, and he grabs a beer from the refrigerator. “He says that she can get you a job. I think she’s in China or South Korea.”
“Oh…” I say. “I haven’t really thought seriously about doing that.” I mentioned something to my parents a few weeks ago, and now, as always, my dad was trying to help. I was grateful, but it also meant that he probably wouldn’t drop it until I contacted whomever I needed to contact.
“You should think about it. You can’t be a nanny forever, and you’re young. You won’t get another opportunity like this. Just think about it, okay? I’ll forward her information to you.”
“Okay, Dad,” I oblige, and he leaves to go finish cooking dinner on the grill. It’s nice and warm today. My parents always use the grill when it’s sunny.
“I think you’d like South Korea,” my mom muses.
I sigh. I don’t want to think about China, or South Korea, or anything, really. I sip my wine and pretend to flick through a magazine. I listen for Elijah’s voice, and a low, monotonous murmur meets my ears. Good. I’m glad Bria made a new friend.
The doorbell rings, and I jump. I scramble to get it before my parents do. I walk swiftly to the door and wipe my palms on my pants—I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s just Nick.
“Hey,” he says, his face softening when he sees me. I let him in.
“Welcome,” I say, swinging my arm around dramatically. “How was your flight?”
“It was okay. I brought some wine,” he says and produces an expensive-looking bottle.
“That’s so nice of you,” I reply, and I have the urge to hug him, but I hold back. “Thank you.”
“Daddy!” Bria yells, running over and colliding with him as he bends down. He just chuckles and picks her up.
“Hello, sweet angel,” he coos, hugging her. “I missed you so much.”
“Elijah is reading me Lord of the Rings,” she says sweetly, wiggling out of his arms. “Can we start reading it at bedtime?”
“Lord of the Rings, eh?” He looks over at me and he raises his eyebrows. I just shrug innocently. Bria runs back over to Elijah. “You must be Elijah, the young man who is corrupting my very young daughter with Tolkien tales.”
Elijah just smiles. “And you’re the one who trusts Evi with your daughter.”
Nick laughs deeply and glances over at me, but I’m too busy glaring at Elijah.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“You’re younger than I expected,” Elijah muses. “No wonder Evi likes going to work so much.” He snickers. Fucking teenagers.
“Elijah!” I shout.
Nick laughs even harder. I feel my cheeks flush, and I leave, beckoning Nick to follow me. He does. I don’t look at him as we walk into the kitchen. I introduce him to my mother.
“Very nice to meet you, Nick,” she says warmly. “Thank you for taking such good care of our Evianna.”
Nick claps a hand on my shoulder. “Of course. She’s taken such good care of us, it’s the least I can do.”
My mother raises her eyebrows but doesn’t say anything. My dad walks in.
“Ah, the famous Nicholas Wilder,” he says, shaking Nick’s hand.
God, he probably thinks I don’t stop blabbing about him when I’m not at work.
“Mr. Halle. Nice to meet you,” Nick says sternly, and as I look at him, he looks a bit nervous. Why does Nick Wilder seem nervous to meet my father?
As we sit down to eat, I gleefully notice how well Nick gets along with my family. Bria seems to like them, too, but that doesn’t surprise me. Elijah and Nick discuss Lord of the Rings, and I sit quietly between Bria and Nick. I haven’t read the books, but clearly, Nick has, because he’s very passionate about them.
I help my mother serve the barbequed tri-tip, mashed potatoes, and a salad. Nick keeps groaning and rubbing his belly. He drinks a beer and laughs with my father as if they’ve known each other for a long time. Of course, everyone is impressed that he’s a doctor.
Nick finishes dessert, which consists of homemade apple pie.
“Evianna, why don’t you cook for us like this? I’d give you a raise.”
I laugh nervously. As if my status as his employee is a normal one.
“I sadly did not inherit my mother’s cooking skills,” I say, and everyone laughs.
“She really didn’t,” Elijah agrees.
We sit around and talk some more, and then Nick excuses Elijah and Bria to finish up the chapter they’re in the middle of. They’re clearly already fast friends.
“Well, I do hope that Evianna has been helpful,” my mom says. “She enjoys working for you.”
Oh god. Where is she going with this?
Nick spins around and looks at me tenderly. He puts an arm around the back of my chair.
“I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her,” he says, but he’s looking at me as he says it, and it sends a chill down my spine. A delightful, quivering chill.
I see my father glance at my mother, and I keep my eyes on Nick. I know that if I look at them, I’ll blush.
“You kids talk. We’re going to go clean up,” my mother says, urging my father up.
“Kids?” Nick laughs. “I’m not a kid. I have a kid.”
“Well, you’re so young, so yes, I consider you a kid. You’re not that much older than Evianna, after all.”
I chuckle and look down at my hands.
“Are you sure you don’t want help, Mrs. Halle?” Nick asks.
“Oh Nick, call me Samantha,” she says, swatting his arm, and I swear I see her blush. Glad I’m not the only one who seems affected by his charm. They exit the dining room, and suddenly, we’re alone. I say the only thing I can think of.
“Want a tour?” I ask. He just smiles, and he doesn’t remove his arm from my chair.
“Of course,” he says. He’s in a really good mood.
I stand up and walk over to where Bria and Elijah are seated.
“This is the living room,” I say, and neither of them looks up. I walk over to the kitchen, where my mother and father are doing the dishes. “Kitchen.” I go over to the staircase and point upstairs. “Bedrooms.”
“Scintillating,” he says, and there’s a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He’s still wearing a suit from one of his meetings, and he loosens his tie. I swallow—now I can’t stop staring at his throat, and how much I want to kiss it. “Can I see your bedroom?” he asks, and it’s an innocent-enough question, but for some reason my stomach clenches nervously.
“Sure!” I say sweetly, as if he’s a family friend or something. Except he’s not. He’s Nick. We walk up the stairs, and I turn to the right, entering the smallest bedroom in the house. “Ta-da!” I flip the light switch on, and he takes in my childhood room.
“Nice. Very Evi,” he says. I assume he means because it’s kind of girly. He goes to sit down on my bed, and he looks around. “I feel like you once had a Beauty and the Beast poster up in here.”
I laugh. “Caught me.”
He smiles and gets up. He comes over to where I’m standing by the door, and my breath hitches in my throat.
It must be because I haven’t seen him in days, or because this is the first time we’ve really been alone since the Truth or Dare game. But I swear, the effect he has on me is getting worse and worse.
“Do you want to go on a walk, Evianna?”
“A-a walk?” I stutter.
“Yes. A walk. You can show me the neighborhood.”
“Oh. Why
?” He just cocks his head to the side. I clear my throat. “I just mean, why do you want to see my neighborhood?”
He puts his hand to his mouth and looks away, as if deep in thought.
“Consider it your background check, I guess.”
I don’t argue. I just turn the light off and walk down the stairs. My knees are wobbly, so I clutch the rail tightly.
“Mom! We’re going on a walk!” I shout. I walk over to the door quickly, before she can say anything, but we’re not quick enough.
“A walk?” she says, peeking her head out from the kitchen.
“A tour of the neighborhood,” I say through my teeth.
She looks between Nick and I, and I can tell that she wants to say something more. But she doesn’t. She just nods.
“Very well. I’ll keep an eye on Bria, Nick.”
“I think she’s too absorbed to go anywhere,” he says, pointing to Bria cuddled up next to Elijah. She’s enraptured in the story, clearly. She doesn’t even notice us.
“Have fun, kids,” she says with a roguish smile.
I open the door and walk out quickly before anyone else can embarrass me further. As we walk down the street on the narrow sidewalk, Nick speaks.
“I like your parents,” he says, and he looks forward as we walk. I clutch my arms around me. I forgot my jacket, and it’s gotten chilly. The pink sky is beautiful—I love sunsets in Seattle. It must be the clean air, because I swear, the sunsets are so colorful and vivid.
“I like them, too. Sometimes.” I look at him playfully.
“Thanks for having us,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets. I keep my gaze downcast, but I feel his eyes on me. “You cold?”
Before I can say anything, he whips his jacket off and throws it around my shoulders. It’s warm, and it smells like him—like cinnamon. I’ve grown very fond of cinnamon over the last few weeks. I’ve even started adding cinnamon to my oatmeal every morning.
“Thanks,” I mutter. As if this doesn’t feel anymore cliché… it somehow feels like we’re on a date. Like he’s going to kiss me on my front porch. Will he? I look up, and he’s concentrating on something far away. No. Probably not. He’s just being nice. “I’m excited for the party,” I add. “I still haven’t figured out a costume.”
“Me either,” he says. “Yeah. Should be interesting. Isabel always used to plan these things. Most of our friends will be there… I’m interested to see how it compares.”
“Are you… are you okay?”
He looks away, and I can tell that it’s still painful to talk about.
“You know, for so long I wasn’t. It was a lot of before and after. Remember?”
I think back to our talk in the kitchen, when we made cupcakes. How he said that he was trying to live in the after.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“I guess… sometimes all you need is one person to show you how to live in the after. Sometimes all you need is someone to show you how to live with no regrets.” I don’t respond. I feel like he’s talking about me, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. He keeps talking as we walk in step. “It’s painful, sure. Thinking about her, talking about her, about Matthias… but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong. I need to learn how to trust life a bit more. I want to be happy again. I want to try. For the first time, I think I might be ready.”
I stop walking, taking in the gravity of his words, because surely, what he’s telling me is good. It’s what I want to hear, right? He is talking about me…
“You should start dating, then,” I suggest innocently.
“Evi…” he says quietly.
He moves closer; so close, in fact, that we’re touching. I’m standing in front of a house with a low fence. He pushes me gently against it, and pins me beneath him by putting his hands on the fence behind me. My heart slams against my chest, and I feel the tightening in my stomach grow stronger in anticipation. It’s dark out now, but I can see his face because of the streetlights. He looks down at me with concern, confusion…
“Nick,” I whisper. “I don’t…” I trail off. I try to form the words, but I can’t seem to find them.
I don’t want to come second to Isabel.
I don’t want to be your rebound.
I think I’m falling in love with you.
“Don’t say anything,” he says. “I’m not ready for words, Evi.”
He watches me, and his face is inches from mine. If I had any doubts about his feelings for me, they’ve vanished. The look in his eyes is burning, and then he closes his eyes. I watch as his face scrunches up, and he shakes his head, pulling away.
“We should get back,” I say, embarrassment burning my cheeks.
I pull even further away, but Nick grabs my arm and pulls me into him so that we’re an inch apart. I inhale his scent, and I feel my whole body reacting to him, needing more, wanting more.
“You have a piece of pie on your face,” he whispers, brushing his fingers across my bottom lip. “I thought I should tell you.” His eyes darken as he traces the motion with his eyes and then looks up and meets my gaze.
“Thanks,” I say quietly. I pull away, half-embarrassed that I’m clearly a slob when I eat, but also half-amused that he would use that for an excuse.
We walk back in silence.
Twenty-eight.
Nick
I couldn’t help myself. Her skin was glowing underneath the moonlight… and a very selfish part of me wanted to touch the lips that have somehow captivated me. Slowly but surely, I find myself wanting to be with her, learn about her, talk to her, touch her…
I haven’t actively thought about pursuing her. If I’m reading things right, she feels the same way I do, and I don’t know where to go from here. If I’m being honest… it scares me. A lot.
Isabel and I started dating when we were eighteen, freshmen in college. We never really had to dance the dance. It just happened.
It’s different with Evianna. It’s a slow burn, slow and steady. I’m not even sure if I’m ready to date. I want to be, so that’s a step forward, but it still hurts so much to think about Isabel.
Except when I’m with Evianna. Nothing hurts when I’m with her.
Twenty-nine.
Evianna
The Halloween masquerade party is being held on Halloween, a Friday this year. Nick and Cecelia take Bria trick-or-treating in the early evening while I go out in search for a costume. I procrastinated big time. Bria is planning on spending the night at Cecelia’s tonight, because the party is expected to take over and go very late. I have plans with Violet and Marcus, and I’m not sure if I’ll stop by the party yet or not. Seeing all of the friends that Nick made with Isabel might be too weird. I heard it’s fancy—it’s a masquerade, after all—and that’s not exactly my scene.
I spend my afternoon at a costume store, along with everyone else in Seattle. It seems as though we’ve all procrastinated until the very last minute. The only costume left in my size that is not completely slutty is a Mary Poppins costume.
The irony is not lost on me.
I buy it reluctantly, thinking that even if I do go to the party, at least it’s a masquerade, and perhaps Nick won’t even know it’s me. Besides, he might find it funny.
I don’t go home after getting my costume. Instead, I go straight to Violet’s. Marcus is there, too, and we watch scary movies until nine, and I decide, after mulling it over, that I will go to the party. I will wear a mask. Nick might not even notice me. I just want to see what the fuss is all about. Even Violet says she’s heard of Nick’s parties from friends. It’s funny to think about, because I can’t see Nick in that type of atmosphere. But then again… it was mostly Isabel, so maybe that’s why.
Violet helps me change and lends me a black hat and a pair of flat oxfords for the costume. She even does my hair, pinning it back into a low chignon before securing the hat. I top the look off with red lipstick. The costume fits pretty well for a packaged costume—a
white blouse with a black midi-skirt. Once everything is assembled, I resemble Mary Poppins fairly accurately.
“Whoa,” Marcus says as I come out. “You’re like the hot version of Mary Poppins.”
“I know. Isn’t she beautiful?” Violet gushes. I try not to find it weird that her boyfriend just called me hot. “You should wear red lipstick more often, Evi. Really brings out your green eyes.”
“Duly noted,” I say, gathering my things. “Thanks for your help,” I say as I leave.
“It’s a masquerade ball, Evi! That means when you’re masked, you’re not yourself. You’re anonymous.”
“And?” I ask, wondering what her point is.
“And… if both you and Nick are wearing a mask, the rules say you can’t hold it against anyone the next day. Take advantage.”
“Got it,” I say, trying not to think of all of the things I want to do to Nick Wilder anonymously. Whoa. Did I really just think that about my employer?
I leave quickly, and as I drive over the bridge, I realize that I’m nervous. When I pull onto the street, there’s a valet in front of the house.
“Hi,” I say, rolling down the windows. “I live here. Is there room to park—”
“Evianna Halle?” the valet asks, and I nod. “Mr. Wilder kept your spot open in the driveway. Go on in.”
“Thanks,” I mutter. That was nice. I didn’t even tell Nick that I was coming. He never really invited me, but I had helped planning aspects of it, so I think we both just assumed I might show up at some point. I do live here, after all.
I park, and I notice there are people walking around the backyard. I hope I locked my door.
Like I would have anything these people would want to steal.
I can already tell these people are very affluent. Lots of ball gowns, elaborate costumes, expensive renaissance gowns, suits, tuxes… I look down at my packaged costume. I feel underdressed. In my own house! I walk over to the guesthouse and unlock it quickly, dropping my purse on my bed and checking my reflection one last time. Violet was right. The red lipstick really brings out my eyes.
I crack my knuckles nervously, shaking my hands as I pace back and forth. Why am I so nervous? I’m just stopping in, saying hello to Nick, and then I’m leaving. We haven’t spoken alone since the walk at my parents’ house last weekend. So many things were left up in the air… and yet we acted totally normal around each other this week. In the few interactions I’d had with him, he treated me normally, like the nanny. Nothing else hung in the air.
And Then You Page 15