by Laura Abudo
She didn’t answer but brushed a loose tear away from her cheek with her hand. She stared him straight in the eye and said, “After all this time why didn’t you want me?”
He had made a terrible mistake. He’d been stupid. She was just a girl. She didn’t know how to be a woman, how to show or tell a man she wanted him. Her innocence and naiveté was hidden by her confidence and power. She’d taken away her robes and hatchet. She wanted to be a normal woman. And he hid from her.
“Because I didn’t think you wanted me,” he told her honestly. “I thought you were only doing it to…I was sure you didn’t want me.”
She stared at him. “You are too old,” she told him.
“And you are a street rat,” he argued. “You slept with dogs.”
“I still do,” she shrugged. “Glory would kill me if I married you. She’s the next queen.”
“You don’t know the difference between a fine goblet and a watering trough.”
“Tomas and Jimm would have to call me mother.”
“Coral would have my knockers if I touched you.”
“Coral would have my knockers if I let you touch me,” she laughed.
“There is no one to marry us. You can’t marry yourself.”
“You’d have to learn to ride a horse to come visit me at home.”
“What do you mean ‘learn to ride a horse’?” he blurted, “I can ride a horse.”
“After riding around in that fancy carriage all your life? I think you need a few calluses on your backside, Your Majesty.”
“Well I can’t marry you if you have calluses on your backside,” he told her wrinkling his nose.
“You should know if I do,” she said, “my skirt was up around my ears enough as I swung from trees in your garden.”
“You want to go do that again?” he asked leaning closer. “I’ll even carry you over my shoulder.”
She blushed and turned away. Yes, she was still a girl in so many ways. He laughed and tugged at her braid. She swept a hand back to swat at him as she started up the corridor. She looked back and smiled as he opened the door to the practice yard.
The Marshalls stopped their practice as Fredrick entered all smiles. Amias and Kel shared a look. At their rapt attention, the King announced, “I informed her who wore the crown in this castle.”
“Ah, well I’m sure her neck is strong enough to hold it up,” Amias told him, tossing him a practice stick.
The King stopped mid-stride to stare at his Marshall Captain menacingly. “Didn’t I threaten to behead you at one time?”
“A few times,” Amias told him.
“Yet you still live,” the King said, shaking his head.
Vunn fumed as he squatted in front of the arch. Caris stood behind him, a smug smile on her face.
“Are you playing with me?” he demanded, rising menacingly. “Are you interfering?”
“Not at all,” she told him. “I thought it went rather well. We had a good fight going there, anger, passion, lies and truth, got me all worked up to the climax. But did you...? It just went flaccid.”
He grabbed her arm, pulling her face close to his, “I don’t go flaccid.”
She nodded toward the arch. “I beg to differ.”
He looked down at her body then around at all the blank eyes of the other gods standing around them. “Are you playing with me?”
“Always,” she smiled. “But not with them. I am keeping my hands off so you can see what they are made of.”
He left her, angry.
“You need to be careful,” another god’s voice said softly behind her.
She nodded. “I know.”
“He’s right,” he whispered. “They can end us.”
She turned to him and said quietly. “They won’t end us. They will end him.”
He nodded slightly, realizing the real game she played. The god-smiters would end the torment they’d all suffered. Especially hers.
Chapter 5
The Marshalls ride again
Pearl entered the room where Amias and Coral were just stirring to get up for the morning. She grinned, straightening the skirts of her dress.
“Coral, can you do the flipped plate for me today?” she asked, turning her back to Coral.
Amias lifted his eyebrows at his wife in amusement. He asked, “You don’t want the normal style you wear, pieces hanging out, leaves and mud adornment?”
“Who are you to talk to me about sloppy appearance?” she blurted. “Have you seen a barber lately?”
“You sound like the King,” he said with a mischievous smile at Coral.
She ignored his comment. “Amias, can you arrange a ride this afternoon? And invite Fredrick.”
“A ride?” he asked, baffled.
“Horses, dogs, friends.”
“Isn’t Glory better suited to arrange that?”
“No, I don’t want it to be a dinner party with a bunch of courtiers. I want to take a ride.”
Coral finished Pearl’s hair and said, “Amias, she wants to feel the road under her horse, listen to stories and the voices of men. Hear the sounds of leather and tack and feel the air on her skin. She wants to catch the eye of her man across a camp fire and smell the pipe smoke in his beard.”
“Yes,” breathed Pearl, smiling at Coral.
“I want to come too,” Coral laughed.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he told her. “It might give us a chance to break Darius into a pony.”
“You’d better go practice with him,” Coral demanded. “He’ll fall off as sure as he trips on his feet.”
“Hmm…” he nodded. “He’d better ride with one of us.”
After he left, Coral told Pearl, “I miss those days. Riding for hours and hours and stopping to sleep. Tucking you girls in and making sure you were happy. Listening to the men, feeling safe even though there was danger. Falling in love.”
“I miss it too.”
“I think Glory would have a problem with us building a campfire in the gardens,” Coral said and they both laughed.
Pearl met with Krisa in the ladies’ brunch room, ignoring the courtiers but whispering to each other. Krisa complained about having no privacy with Pat at all in the Marshall quarters. Pearl agonized over it with her.
“Coral told me to take him, but I have nowhere to take him,” Krisa laughed.
“I will ask the King for a room,” she told Krisa, “And you can use it.”
Krisa hugged Pearl, both of them sharing a tear. An alarm rose in the corridor. A bell rang and there were running feet. A fist pounded on the door of the brunch room. One of the servants rushed to open it.
“Pearl Doran!” the page yelled. “Miss Doran needed immediately. King’s orders.”
Both Pearl and Krisa jumped up, rushing to the boy, who led them out and down the corridor.
“What is it?” she asked, running beside him.
He shrugged. “I just know its King’s orders. You have to come.”
He swung them down to the hallway that led them out to the horses and kennel. Pearl panicked someone had been hurt. Maybe Darius trying to ride a pony. She ran faster, passing the page.
When she skidded around the corner to the outside she saw Fredrick standing with the kennel master. Fredrick was holding a puppy.
She stood with her hands on her hips, “You scared me!”
He smiled. “I meant to. Look, their eyes are open and they are trying to walk.”
She slowly approached so she didn’t startle the mother. Krisa bent to look at the ones in the crate. Pearl stroked the head of the little one in Fredrick’s arms. It had little round eyes and floppy ears. Fredrick watched her face. She looked into his and smiled.
“Are you going to hold me to our bargain?” she asked.
“No. I would have given you one anyway.”
“I would have taken one anyway,” she said.
“So the bargain stands?”
“I’ll let you know.”
She pla
ced her face up against the puppy’s and it sniffed her nose. Fredrick’s thumb brushed her cheek. She leaned in more so her cheek rested against his hand. He smiled.
“I have a favor to ask,” she whispered.
“Anything.”
“Can I have a room of my own?”
He looked at her curiously. “Come stay with me,” he whispered.
She lifted her head and stared at him. “I just need a room. For myself.”
He smiled then nodded. “Anything else?”
“Maybe,” she told him, kissing the puppy’s head then kissing the back of Fredrick’s hand.
Invitations to the ride arrived mid-afternoon. Amias arranged it for a Marshall two night trip to the outpost garrison to the south. They’d have to stop for the night partway there, reach it by midday then stop again the next night on their return. Coral made sure to insist on two nights. She had Darius help her pack bed rolls and clothing. He’d always ridden in the carriage with her so this would be a new experience for him.
Fredrick made excuses for not attending. He made a list in his mind. He was the King, he couldn’t just take off on a horse for two days leaving things un-attended. But Amias insisted telling him to give Tomas some responsibility. His main advisors were there. He couldn’t get into too much trouble in two days. When Pearl and Darius arrived in his library wearing their riding clothes and Pearl pointed her finger at him saying she wanted some evidence of calluses he laughed and agreed.
Fredrick waved off the offer of extra guardsmen. Seventeen Marshalls were protection enough, he insisted, as well as the god-smiters Krisa and Pearl. No courtiers were invited and it was kept hushed. Glory stayed behind with Tomas so the King set extra guards on the two of them. She pouted but Coral had swatted her and they laughed.
The main southern gate let them pass and soon they were out on the road, in the Marshall traditional double row of horses, Amias and the King riding together, Kel with Coral, and the rest stringing along behind. Darius had taken a seat in front of Denon, the archer. Pat and Krisa rode in the rear. Other travelers on the road made way for the Marshalls, no one noting in particular that their king rode with them. At first it surprised Fredrick but then he felt liberated, not constrained by his station. He relaxed and started to enjoy the ride, as he was now with friends rather than just an official escort. He looked back to search for Pearl. The girl sat on her horse, her eyes closed.
“It was her idea,” Amias told him.
“What was?” Fredrick asked.
“The ride. I think she misses being on the road. It’s been a few months since we traveled from home.”
Fredrick nodded. “I’ve been selfish in keeping you all here.”
Amias smiled. “We don’t mind. Father is probably happy to have us out from under his feet.”
“She looks happy,” Fredrick told him looking back again.
“She can be a child out here. And Coral can be a Brother leading ducklings and fall in love across a camp fire,” he said smiling back at his wife, who didn’t hear their conversation so gave him a questioning look. “Pearl just wants to relive childhood maybe.”
Fredrick thought about that. He’d been putting so much pressure on her lately. And so had her position. She had to be adult and grown up most of the time. Still a girl, she needed freedom to be both. He nodded. He understood.
“It’s hard to think of anything other than being an old man.”
Amias laughed. “Out here you can be anything. You aren’t the King, you are just a rider. Enjoy the sun, the road, the horse. And later you get to enjoy half burned rabbit over a camp fire.”
The evening was pleasant. They’d found a camping spot off the road away from other travelers beyond a stretch of trees and near a stream. Darius ran around while others set up camp. The fires were lit, the bedrolls unfurled. He finally settled into Pearl’s lap as the men started telling their stories. The one of the Marshalls finding a lady Brother and three small girls perilously hanging from trees in a mudslide went over well with Darius. He giggled that it was his mother needing to be rescued.
They told of Pearl’s quick action to help them escape from the Sisters, and how Krisa spent a few days at the top of a tree looking for the Marshalls to appear behind them. The ladies all blushed at that one. Coral recounted the declaration Pearl had made while rolling around in a big bed that Tucker could have fit three of his whores in it, and even though no one knew who Tucker was they thought it was quite charming of the young street wise Pearl.
Fredrick watched her and wondered what her life had really been like as a small child. She joked about being a street rat and sleeping with dogs but what had she really endured. And to see her now, in court, a strong, intelligent woman. She could have turned out so differently. He smiled at Coral, a silent thank you for changing the girl’s life.
Darius was passed to his mother, his head hanging and his limbs limp deep in sleep. Pat and Krisa disappeared off into the dark to scout around like they used to. A few of the men took out their pipes and Coral smiled serenely.
“So this is what it was like,” the King asked quietly, not wanting to break the mood.
“Well, we had storms and Sisters and danger following us,” Amias said.
“I think I want to be a Marshall,” Fredrick said and everyone chuckled.
“I don’t think they make poof pillows for Marshall saddles,” Pearl told him and the King threw a twig at her.
One of the men started humming and lamented that Glory wasn’t there to start singing. “Can anyone remember the words?” Coral laughed.
Amias leaned over to Coral and said, “That’s the same look you used to give me.”
Coral watched Pearl’s eyes study the King. “And he gives it right back,” Coral sighed, looking at the King. Amias put his arm around his troubled wife. “Do you think it’s real? Do you think it is just…”
He said, “And what if it isn’t? Nothing you or I can say would change anything, not with those looks going back and forth.”
She nodded. She looked down at Darius asleep in her arms and kissed his forehead. And then they were gone. Amias jumped up, grabbing his hatchet instinctively. Kel and the others rushed forward. Amias was the only one among them who could force himself into the world of the gods. Pearl leapt to his side with her hand out to grab his and they slid out of sight.
Kel shouted for Krisa. Fredrick sat frozen in place, unsure what happened or what it meant. The feeling of bile rose in his throat with the realization Pearl had just disappeared into the unknown. And the Marshalls standing around him ready for battle assured it was not a good thing.
Glory and Thomas sat hand in hand in the gardens. Their chaperone, a page, had been instructed to stick with them and not accept bargains for leaving them alone.
Glory whispered, “I wish he’d just let us get married.”
He smiled. “I think he’s hoping to marry again. If I get married it will make him feel too old.”
“At least with Darius following we get a few minutes alone,” she grumbled looking over at the page.
“I have to go sit in the library anyway,” he told her. “The others are there waiting to bore me.”
She smiled. He kissed her softly and rose to go. “Dinner tonight?” she asked.
“Jimm and I are dining in the war room if you want to join.”
She wrinkled her nose. Glory couldn’t find anything to do. Coral, Pearl and Darius were off on their ride. The kitchens were running smoothly. Tomas was busy putting his signature to parchment and listening to the old men instruct him in how things were run in the country. Even Jimm, who often came to her aid when she was lonely, was off with friends. Glory had dinner in their suite then took a stroll to the lounge where women met to gossip or serve tea or play cards. It was the sort of place she and Lady Marden would do very well in. But Glory wasn’t invited to tea, wasn’t offered a seat at a game table. Ladies would smile at her then exchange knowing looks and whisper. A rush of an unfamiliar
emotion coloured her cheeks, shame. And she had no idea why.
She turned and left. The corridor that held the King’s library was busy with staff. Several guards stood at the door, two pages, and four housekeeping staff with empty food trays. She glanced at them briefly, curious. When she asked for entrance one of the guards shook his head and apologized.
“I want entrance.”
Laughter could be heard beyond the closed door. She gave the guard a look that told him she meant business. He opened the door slowly but she pushed it open. Inside Tomas was in the King’s chair, a pipe in hand, with his brother Jimm and the rest of their noble young friends lounging around, sipping at ale and smoking pipes or otherwise in the pretense of being twenty years older than they were. Tomas peered over to her then the guard. The guard got a glower from him. Glory saw the look of shame and apology on one face. Jimm’s. Not on Tomas’, who sat smugly in his father’s seat. As she spun to go back to her rooms she could hear the laughter of his friends follow her down the hall. Jimm called her name. But then she was gone.
Jimm slid to a stop in the corridor and looked both ways. The servants pointed in one direction but looked confused because she’d just been there and she couldn’t have just disappeared…
Krisa lay in the grass with Pat. The night had enveloped them completely. They whispered sweetly to each other, touched each other’s faces with their fingers and lips, held each other. Pat had just pressed himself against her and nuzzled her neck when they heard Kel shout her name. And then she was gone. Pat rolled forward onto the grass where she’d been. Tears welled up in his eyes as he jumped up and started running, his hatchet hitting his thigh as he went. In camp he found the women gone, Darius gone and Amias as well.
Coral lurched to a stop unsteadily holding Darius in her lap still. Glory appeared beside her, tears in her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away when she saw where she was. Amias and Pearl forced their way in, Amias rushing to Coral’s side to make sure they were okay. Krisa slid to a stop, looking bewildered, laying on the ground. Around them stood the emotionless gods. In the arch was the image of the men standing around the campfire bewildered. The goddess was missing.