Like Heaven on Earth

by Jaime Samms

  He was standing in front of the full-length mirror next to his bed, tightening the last knot of his tie, when his phone buzzed. A glance at the screen showed Azure’s name, and a shock of disappointment surprised him. He’d been expecting that call. And still, his gut twisted that it wasn’t Cobalt. The look he shot the dog must have read as disappointing as it felt, because Chance whined his now-familiar high-pitched throaty distress. Preston could admit he had hoped to see Cobalt’s number flash across his screen.

  With a sigh, he picked up the phone. “Sir.”

  “Preston.” Azure’s voice was cheery. “I see you’ve parked the car. Are you with Cobalt, then?”

  “No.”

  There was a slight pause. “Really? Then—”

  “Do you need me to pick you up, sir? Are you at your office?”

  “I can find a ride if you’re busy.”

  Preston eyed Chance, who was ensconced on his couch, his head on Preston’s favorite pillow, front paws hanging over the edge. Preston’s cat, Kyanite, perched on the back of the couch, nose twitching, looking for all the world like she was watching them both through those milky, unseeing orbs.

  “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, sir, as long as you don’t mind a bit of furry company.”

  “Oh? Something wrong with Kya?”

  “Not at all,” Preston reassured him, noting the tone of concern in Azure’s voice. “She’s fine. I… have Cobalt’s dog with me.”

  “Is he hurt?” The overtone of concern heightened.

  “No. The dog is fine.”

  “And my brother?”

  Preston grunted. “Calvin is home.”

  “He wasn’t supposed to be back for two weeks.”

  “I don’t know anything about that, sir. Only that he is here now, and the dog was less than pleased to see him. With Chance’s anxiety after last night and Calvin’s volatility, Cobalt felt it in everyone’s best interest that I keep Chance with me.”

  “Everyone but Cobalt himself. He needs that damn dog with him.”

  “Sir?”

  “Nothing. Come and get me.”

  “On my way, sir.” It was somewhat of a relief to take the order and follow it without question. His default of deferring to Azure was so well ingrained, it allowed Preston a few moments of unadulterated breathing and reaction, no second-guessing or worrying.

  Of course that only lasted until he had the dog in the backseat and the car speeding along the route from his apartment to Azure’s office building. The drive, familiar enough he didn’t have to think about it, gave him too much time to think on other things. Too much time to dwell on the unhappy expression in Cobalt’s gaze as he’d turned from his dog to march up the steps into his house. He second-guessed everything: leaving Cobalt alone with Cal, ignoring the clear signs of Cal’s manipulations, even the dog’s gloom at being dragged away.

  “Dammit.” He had arrived at the office building and would have swung around to the parking garage for the limo, except that Azure was standing on the sidewalk, briefcase in hand, watching for him.

  He pulled to the curb and opened his window. “I’ll go around and retrieve your car, sir.”

  “Please.” Azure yanked open the back door, shoved his case in on the floor, and slammed it again. “Don’t be ridiculous. No point going through the hassle. I’ll ride up front.” He hurried around to the passenger seat.

  “Okay,” Preston muttered, getting out to open the door for Azure.

  Once inside the car, Azure wasted no time getting Preston’s account of his morning with Cobalt. When Preston tried to whitewash Cal’s behavior, Azure frowned.

  “No need to protect that asshole, my friend,” he growled. “My parents and I might not see eye to eye on much when it comes to Coby and how he has chosen to live his life, but the one thing we all agree on is that Calvin Denvers has been a blight in my little brother’s life since the day they met.”

  “He is still Mr. Cobalt’s choice, as inexplicable as that choice might seem to us.”

  “I know why he stays with Cal. Don’t get me wrong.” Azure tugged at his suit jacket, squirming in his seat until he had it resting across his chest how he wanted it.

  “That makes one of us, sir.”

  “Calvin grounds him. In a weird way, it’s like he wants the rules—the discipline—Calvin insists on.”

  “I thought rules and restrictions were the thing that drove him from your family in the first place.”

  “I didn’t say Cobalt understood this need. I said I understand it. Maybe because I can see it from the outside. See it in him.” He straightened his tie and settled only to begin fiddling with his cuffs and cuff links. “I don’t think Calvin has my brother’s best interests at heart, which makes the whole situation unhealthy and dangerous for Coby, because he will still follow Calvin’s orders. He’s built that way. It does satisfy his need to have structure and order in his life, but it sometimes overrides his sense of self-preservation.” He furrowed his brow. “I often wonder if he would have caught that damn virus if he’d been as able to walk away from Cal as he was from our mother.”

  “Do you think he knew Cal was infected?”

  “I think he believed every line Calvin fed him. Whether for love or his own pride, he refused to acknowledge he’d made a mistake, and now he keeps making it.”

  “To save face?” Preston frowned. “I don’t believe that.”

  “Only partly. More because he still needs the sense that what he’s doing pleases someone. It sure as hell doesn’t always please himself.”

  Like today. Preston shook his head and scowled at the traffic as he wove around a slow-moving van.

  “But,” Azure continued, “he thrives on knowing his submission matters to someone, and Cal takes full advantage of that. Cobalt isn’t an idiot. On some level, he knows it isn’t good for him. But he still craves the structure.”

  “He does just fine when Calvin is out of town,” Preston mused, sure that Cal’s recent and extended absences had been a boon to Cobalt’s sense of calm and well-being. “He’s been dancing more and more,” Preston pointed out. “Mostly when he thinks no one is watching,” he added under his breath.

  “It amuses me that you know that.”

  “Of course it does, sir. My point is that he’s getting stronger every day. Despite his recent illness, he’s closer to his career weight and conditioning than he’s been in years. And he’s done it all himself.”

  “He has his routines,” Azure said. “He follows his own strict regimen when he’s alone.”

  “He likes it that way.”

  “He needs it that way. It’s why ballet always grounded him so, with all its structure and predictable combinations. And why my mother’s capricious mood changes and subsequent upheavals in routine and requirements made him crazy. He had to get away from her. She delights in being the only one who knows what’s going on and what, therefore, is best for everyone. Cobalt hardly thrives when the ground shifts under his feet every other week. He was right to get out. She was making him neurotic and doing him no favors.”

  Preston remained silent. He hadn’t ever thought consciously about any of this before. Of course, it wasn’t his place to think about it. His job was to do as he was told and do it well. Except when he took charge, when Cobalt wilted and looked uncertain and Preston stepped up, everything around them righted itself. A sense of calm and gentle peace surrounded them. Nothing balanced on the knife-edge like when Cobalt was forced to take the boss’s role.

  “You’re certainly thinking hard.”

  “It’s nothing,” he murmured.

  Azure only straightened his tie clip and remained quiet until Preston had pulled up outside his apartment building. “Park, please. Take the dog across to the park and keep your phone on. I’ll ring down when I’m ready to leave again. Shouldn’t be more than half an hour.”

  “Your destination, sir?” He wanted to plan the quickest route to where Azure needed to go so the dog’s confinement to the
car was as short-lived as possible.

  Azure eyed him. “I need to speak to my brother.”

  “I see.” He was both glad Azure was taking the time to trek across town to make sure Cobalt was all right and possibly get him his dog back, and unsettled that Azure was concerned enough to make the extra trip. He rarely bothered to see Cobalt in person. He must be more worried than usual, and Preston suddenly wondered if he had made more of the day’s events than was warranted.

  What if they showed up at Cobalt’s house and everything was fine? Wouldn’t Azure question Preston’s own interest in skewing the tale? But he hadn’t skewed anything. Had he?

  “Is that all right with you?” Azure asked him. “Some reason I shouldn’t go over there?”

  “Not that I can think of, sir, except that Calvin made it quite clear he didn’t want to be disturbed.”

  “He can do whatever the fuck he likes. I’m not going to disturb him. I am going to visit my brother. That, my friend, Calvin does not get to dictate, and if he tries, he will find I am much more difficult to dislodge than a dog.”

  Preston managed to contain an answering feral expression when Azure curled a lip. “You do know the dog tried to bite Cal.”

  “Good.” For the second time that day, Azure hopped out of the car without waiting for Preston to go around and open the door for him. He did lean back to poke his head inside, his grin a bit wider now. “Next time he tries, don’t hold him back.” And he closed the door.

  Chapter 11

  CAL TURNED a glare on Cobalt the instant the chain fell into place. “What the fuck is up with that stupid dog? You have to get rid of the mutt. He’s a menace.”

  “He’s mine,” Cobalt growled. He opened Preston’s toolbox and began to neatly stack the tools inside.

  Cal snatched a pry bar of some sort out of Cobalt’s hand and slammed it into the box. A fragment of yellow plastic flew up and bit into Cobalt’s cheek. The X-Acto knife it had snapped off of jumped and bounced out of the box to land on the floor. Another bit of plastic flew off toward the sink, and a portion of the blade in the other direction. It landed with a ting against the metal of the dog’s food dish.

  “Leave that shit,” Cal snapped, grabbing Cobalt’s hand where he had lifted it to rub at his stung cheek. A bit of blood dampened Cobalt’s fingers, and he stared at it, uncomprehending.

  “Come on upstairs.” Cal didn’t seem to notice he was bleeding. He pulled and Cobalt stumbled after, anger burning through the numbness.

  Cal took him directly to the bedroom, as Cobalt knew he would, and tossed him on his back on the bed. “Missed you,” Cal crooned, tugging his own belt buckle open and unzipping his jeans.

  “Yeah?” Cobalt stared up at him, not sure if he should believe the man or not. Had Cal let go of the anger? Should he?

  “Course, baby. I always do. You know that.” He grinned. “Only one I don’t need to cover up for.” He had his dick out, and he stroked it slowly, the length already long and firm under his fingers. “Want a taste?” He lifted an eyebrow, licked his lips, and smiled, as if the very notion Cobalt might not want to suck him was absurd.

  He shuffled forward on his knees until his cock bumped at Cobalt’s chin. “Love your mouth on me,” he whispered, dragging the tip over Cobalt’s lips.

  Cobalt thought about telling him it still wasn’t safe like this, that the virus sometimes changed and Cal could still infect him, but he knew he’d only lose the argument, and Cal wouldn’t be deterred from his current path anyway. He’d apologize after. He always did. And Cobalt would ignore the apology. Like he always did. A never-ending circle of “fuck yous” at one another they didn’t seem able or willing to break.

  At least his mouth was a lower risk than his ass, and if he did it well, Cal would relax for a while. Cobalt parted his lips and accepted the cock, swallowing it as far as he could, grateful for the fact that Cal was, if not a considerate lover, at least one who didn’t enjoy seeing his partner struggling. He didn’t push.

  He did take as much effort as Cobalt was willing to put forth to get him off. And Cobalt was perfectly content to do his very best, give an exceptional blow job, because it meant Cal would finish that much sooner. And he didn’t hate the process. If he was honest, he enjoyed bringing his partner pleasure this way. He was good at it. Cal appreciated that and was usually much nicer after he got off. Or at least less abrasive.

  It didn’t take long at all. Between Cal’s hand around his base guiding things and Cobalt’s talented mouth on him, Cal ramped up quickly. Add the sense of power Cal enjoyed, kneeling over him like this, keeping him pinned and at his mercy, and it was only a few minutes before Cal was coming, pumping his creamy release over Cobalt’s chin and chest.

  Cobalt’s cock was partially erect over the stimulation of having a cock in his mouth and Cal’s ass rubbing over his stomach, where his shirt and sweater had rucked up. He liked a little bit of rough. He could admit that. And he wanted his release as well.

  As soon as Cal flopped to one side, lolling on the bed next to him, Cobalt fished out his own dick and stroked himself to hardness. He listened to Cal’s labored breathing beside him, closed his eyes, and wondered what Preston might sound like just after he orgasmed. When a surprising hand covered his as he sped up the motion, he kept his eyes closed. Easy to imagine the strong fingers over his belonged to another man. One who wanted to keep his dog safe and fix his window.

  Moaning, he clamped his top teeth over his bottom lip, conscious of not calling a name, lest he forget himself and call the wrong one. He just couldn’t get Preston’s face out of his head. Preston’s pale eyes were mesmerizing, even in memory, with so much space and room to breathe behind the diamond-hard outer layer of command and strength.

  He longed to have those eyes gazing down at him but knew if he opened his eyes, he’d only see Cal’s glittering green stare watching with greedy intent. He liked to fuck after Cobalt had come, diving into his body, fast and hard, when Cobalt was still tight. Liked forcing Cobalt’s body to yield to his despite the added tension in his muscles from recent orgasm.

  Cobalt had loved the possessiveness of the act in their beginning. Loved feeling claimed, and hadn’t been deterred from letting Cal know how much he liked the dynamic. It was different now. It had ceased being about keeping Cobalt, if it ever had been, and was now all about Cal’s pleasure in wringing out his own second orgasm. Usually the edge of Cobalt’s own anger was sharp enough to cut back, keep him cold enough not to show the hurt—or the pleasure—and leave Cal feeling like a jerk demanding what Cobalt had once given without grudge. Today the thought of serving Cal that way after this left Cobalt flagging a bit, and he whimpered, his orgasm slipping a little further from his reach. He grimaced, trying to get the feeling back.

  “Beautiful, baby,” Cal told him. “So gorgeous. I could totally rub one out to this sight any day of the week.” He slid a hand under Cobalt’s shirt and tweaked a nipple, twisting it enough to make Cobalt gasp and squirm. It didn’t hurt, exactly. But it did help him get back up on that plateau where release was a short step off the cliff.

  His whimper became a whine, and Cal chuckled. “Getting close, lover?” He moved his hand to cup it around Cobalt’s throat and turn his head away. His thumb ghosted over Cobalt’s pulse point; then he smoothed his hand down Cobalt’s body to join his on his cock again. Cal clamped down so the strokes were hard and tight and fast, the friction just short of too much and too painful.

  Cobalt groaned louder and arched his back, reaching for orgasm. Cal tightened his hand over Cobalt’s, clamped his mouth over a spot of Cobalt’s neck, and sucked hard. The pain of teeth dug deep into Cobalt’s psyche and pulled need from the endless well of it in his soul. He shouted, wordless and desperate, as Cal cupped his balls, squeezed, and moved his mouth to Cobalt’s ear.

  “Come, baby,” he whispered.

  Cobalt did, a hard, angry release spattering out of him, soiling his clothes and leaving him weak and shivering as C
al rolled him onto his stomach. He didn’t resist when Cal pulled his jeans to his knees and shoved a pillow under his hips. He was only grateful for the lube and, for a change, the condom as Cal shoved into his body.

  He refused to let his mind wander to the why of the seldom-used condom between them. It wasn’t a consideration for the moment of insertion. Later, maybe, when Cal was spent and more relaxed. Or when Cobalt was feeling pissy enough to brave asking and dragging the virus like barbed wire between them again.

  The pump and grind of Cal’s hips, the drive of dick into ass and the rub of his oversensitive cock, even on the smooth pillowcase, coalesced in Cobalt’s brain to a white noise that sank him under. It was all a bit too much for pleasure. Not quite enough to be pain. He dug his knees into the mattress and heaved a little higher until Cal’s cock hit his prostate.

  That offered some sensation that helped keep him from the void. He didn’t like the void. It was a dangerous place with a lover who didn’t know when he’d gone there, didn’t pay enough attention to make sure he didn’t get hurt when he was too vague to keep himself safe.

  The prostate stimulation made his cock ache and his ass oversensitive, but it kept him in the act until Cal finished and pulled out.

  Once more, he flopped onto the bed next to Cobalt with a loud, satisfied sigh. He pulled the condom off and tossed it over the side of the bed, then hauled Cobalt around onto his side and pulled him against his stomach, big spoon to Cobalt’s small, tightly curled one.

  Cobalt’s cock was just hard enough to ache. His ass hurt. His back twinged. He closed his eyes and listened to Cal’s breathing even out into sleep.

  Sunshine snuck through the skylight above and crossed over the bed. Cobalt listened to the silence of the house, straining for the click of Chance’s nails on the kitchen linoleum or the rattle of food in his bowl. He had to keep reminding himself the dog was not there. That he was safe but not available for Cobalt to feel his calming presence permeating his home. The silence curled tendrils of impending doom through the places the sun couldn’t reach.