Or was she only imagining those emotions? Was the contentment she thought she felt from him actually a wistfulness for his life back in the midwest? Was the love she sometimes felt wafting from him actually the simple passion of a virile man for any woman?
She stood as Lester and Chance returned to the kitchen. “It’s a great place,” Lester said enthusiastically. “I’m sure it will sell quickly. I’ll get it listed first thing in the morning for the price we discussed and I’ve got a For Sale sign in my car, so we’ll get it up before I leave.”
Chance nodded, his expression unreadable.
“Could you and Lana come into the office first thing in the morning and sign the realty contract?”
Chance looked at Lana. She nodded and tried to ignore the dull ache in her heart. “That will be fine,” Chance said to Lester. “But let’s make it early afternoon instead of first thing in the morning.”
A surge of love filled Lana as she realized he was making the appointment in the afternoon in deference to her. He knew that lately mornings were difficult for her.
As Lester and Chance walked out to Lester’s car, Lana made half a pot of coffee, knowing Chance liked to end the day by sitting on the porch and sipping a cup of coffee.
The sound of Lester’s car pulling out of the drive-way came just as the coffee finished brewing. Lana pulled on a lightweight sweater, then poured Chance a cup of coffee and left the house.
The first thing that struck her eyes when she reached the door was the large For Sale sign in the front yard. The significance of all that the sign implied hit her like a slap in the face, an arrow in the heart.
Chance sat in the chair where he usually sat, a thoughtful expression on his handsome face. He looked up as she stepped out on the porch. Seeing the coffee mug in her hand, he jumped up to help her.
“Sit down,” she commanded as she handed him the mug. “I can manage getting my—you a cup of coffee without needing help.” She’d been about to say “my husband,” but she had to stop thinking of Chance as her husband. It wouldn’t be long now and he’d be out of her life.
It was time she started removing him from her mind—and attempted to release him from her heart.
“You’re nothing, boy. You never were worth anything and you’ll always be nothing.” Sarge Reilly glared at his son.
As always, Chance knew he was dreaming, but he couldn’t pull himself out of the nightmare, nor could he escape the intense emotional pain that racked him as his father berated him.
Simply words, he told himself, but the power of those words battered him like fists and again he swallowed in an attempt to contain the tears that pressed perilously close to the surface.
“Run, boy. Sell this place and run as far and as fast as you can. That woman and those babies will be better off without you. They don’t need a loser in their lives.”
Sarge’s words pierced him like bullets. He needed to escape, to run, but when he turned, Lana stood there, blocking his path.
She opened her arms to him, and he knew in her arms was his salvation. But as he tried to go to her, his father grabbed him from behind, making it impossible.
“Chance!”
With a start, he tumbled from his dream world and into reality. Moonlight streaked into the windows, filling the bedroom with enough light that he could see Lana gazing at him, a worried crinkle in the center of her forehead.
“Are you all right? You were crying out.”
His first impulse was to say that he was fine, that it was just a dumb dream. But that wasn’t the truth, and the empty platitude didn’t make it to his lips.
“No, I’m not all right.” He sat up and raked his fingers through his hair, aware that his heart still beat the accelerated rhythm of confrontation with his father. “It was a nightmare.”
She sat up and touched his arm lightly. “Is there anything I can do?” she asked, her eyes luminous and achingly earnest.
His need for her exploded inside him, shooting heat through his veins and setting his nerve endings aflame. He had not touched her since the day she’d taken her pregnancy test, but now he could not deny the need that suffused him.
He said nothing, but instead wrapped his arms around her and claimed her mouth with his. He half expected a protest to rise to her lips. Instead, she simply kissed him back.
Together they fell back on the bed, arms wrapped around each other and lips locked feverishly. Neither spoke as the kiss deepened and heartbeats raced.
Chance wanted to make love to her and he could tell by the heat of her kiss, by the way her hands stroked over his shoulders, across his back, that she wanted him, too.
There was no longer any bargain to fulfill, no baby to make, there was absolutely no reason for them to make love except the incredible desire to hold her in his arms, feel her body next to his, lose himself in her embrace.
What was wondrous and amazing was he felt the same emotions radiating from her. She clung to him as if her hunger was as great as his. He realized it was more than physical hunger that drove them together, it was a need to connect on a deeper level than just with mere bodies. It was a desire to touch the light of her soul, knowing it would banish the darkness in his.
With a whisper and a sigh, her nightgown seemed to melt away, leaving her warm and pliant in his arms. There was no urgency between them, no pressure to hurry. Rather he wanted each touch, every caress to linger for an eternity.
As he swept his hand across her lower abdomen, he thought he felt a subtle fullness that hadn’t been there before. Babies. Twin babies.
His babies.
Awe swept through him as for the first time since the doctor’s visit the fact that Lana was carrying his twins sank in. A part of him, a part of her, growing inside her…their babies.
The skin across her stomach was silky smooth, and he wondered how long it would be before a hand on her belly might feel the kick of a tiny foot, or the jab of a little elbow.
As he claimed Lana’s lips again, all thoughts of babies fled as his mind, his senses, his very being, were filled with her.
They made love slowly, with a tenderness he’d never known before. He could feel her heartbeat as he possessed her, a steady, rapid beating that echoed comfortably deep inside him.
Afterward, they remained locked in an embrace, neither speaking as they waited for heartbeats to slow and breathing to resume a more normal pace.
Within minutes he knew Lana had fallen back to sleep. Her light breaths were warm against the side of his neck, and one of her arms was flung across his chest.
He turned to gaze at her, grateful for the moonlight that allowed him to see her features as she slept. She had never looked more beautiful than she did at this moment, with her hair tousled and her cheeks still colored from their exertions. Her lips were slightly swollen and her eyes moved rapidly behind the lids.
He wondered if she was dreaming. If she was, he hoped she had happy dreams. He frowned. Soon she would have no time to dream, she’d barely find time to sleep. Two babies.
He eased away from her and got out of bed, suddenly too restless to sleep. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt, then left the bedroom.
He dressed quickly then stepped out the front door, where the moon not only lit the land with a silvery glow, but also played on the real estate sign in the middle of the front yard.
Easing down on one of the chairs on the porch, Chance fought to sort out the emotions that raged through him. He’d thought he knew what he wanted from life, what he intended to get out of life, but now all his preconceived wants seemed selfish and shallow.
That woman and those babies don’t need a loser in their lives. Sarge’s words from Chance’s nightmare played and replayed in his mind.
But they did need somebody, and Chance knew nobody else was going to step in. All his life, he’d made his decisions to prove that Sarge was wrong about him. Yet, the decisions he’d made had simply proven how right Sarge had been.
Chance had spent
his life running from commitments, escaping any real responsibility. It had always been easier to run than to take the risk of disappointing anyone or proving without a doubt that his father had been right about him and he was a loser.
Again his mind filled with thoughts of Lana, who had transformed the ranch house into a home. Lana, who had rubbed the sore muscles of his back without him asking, who had drawn him a hot bath after a particularly grueling day.
Since the moment they had gotten married, Lana had seemed to work extra hard to make Chance’s life happy. She laughed at his stupid jokes, didn’t complain when he left his dirty clothes in the middle of the bathroom floor. She seemed to sense when he needed a touch of her hand, a smile of encouragement or simply an understanding silence.
And now she needed him.
He leaned back in the chair and thought of how sick Lana had been each morning, and how her energy level had lowered over the past couple of days. She needed him now, and he knew when the babies were born she would need him even more.
When he’d made the bargain with her, he’d believed it would be easy to walk away. He’d never know now if he would have been able to walk away from her if she’d been pregnant with one baby.
He certainly hadn’t counted on twins. Neither had she. But the fact that there were two babies negated their original agreement.
Those babies needed a real home, with a father and a mother present. Lana needed a husband, a companion to help with feeding and bathing, changing and rocking the babies. She needed him.
If he walked away now, he would be living up to his father’s expectations. Maybe it was time he tried to exceed everyone’s expectations, including his own.
Decision made, he stood and walked off the porch. In the light of the silvery moonshine, he hurried across the grass to where the real estate sign stood. Grabbing it with both hands, he tugged it out of the ground and carried it to the barn. He set it inside, then returned to the porch and looked around one last time.
This ranch, which had been the place of Chance’s misery for years, would now be his legacy of love to his children. A surge of emotions welled up inside him.
Tomorrow he’d go to town and order not one, but two of those canopied cribs she’d seen in the store. His heart swelled as he thought of her happiness when she saw the two cribs in the spare room.
Silently, he went into the house, undressed, then slid back in bed beside Lana, who still slept soundly. He closed his eyes, his heart at peace.
For the first time in his life he felt as if he’d made the right decision. He was not going to sell the ranch. He was not going to run away.
He would stay, because Lana needed him.
Meredith stood at the guest bedroom window in Rand’s town house, staring out at the darkness of the night. Tomorrow. The thought of the day to come held both the promise of incredible joy and the possibility of enormous heartache.
What havoc had Patsy wrought in the life she had stolen? The family that had been so important to Meredith—had Patsy managed to destroy it?
A slight moan broke the silence and Meredith turned away from the window and gazed at Emily, who restlessly slept in the bed nearby.
Although Rand’s town home had enough bedrooms for Emily and Meredith to have had their own for the night, Emily had insisted she wanted to sleep in Meredith’s room.
Meredith’s heart expanded as she gazed at the young woman with the moonlight shining on her face. Her little Sparrow. Of all the foster children she and Joe had taken in, Emily had been special…so special she and Joe had adopted her.
But Emily wasn’t little anymore. Rather she was a beautiful woman carrying a heart full of anguish. Since Meredith’s arrival here and after hearing the story about Toby and Snake Eyes Pike, she’d been worried sick about her daughter.
The light in Emily’s beautiful blue eyes had been extinguished, as if a piece of her had died along with the hero lawman.
“Patsy, how could you have done something like this?” Meredith whispered softly. Her heart ached for her troubled sister, yet at the same time she raged for all the evil that Patsy had spawned.
Meredith leaned her forehead against the window, the glass cool with the late October air. And why with almost all of her memories returned to her, did she still have blank spaces where Joe was concerned?
Was it possible he wasn’t the man who had haunted her when she had positively no memories at all? At that time, she’d dreamed of a man’s arms around her, holding her close. She’d felt a sense of deep security, a wave of belonging and had ached to be with that man again.
Had it been Joe that she had dreamed about? Or had those dreams merely been the fantasies of a lonely, unloved woman?
Tomorrow. She shivered, both anxious and afraid to discover what the day would bring.
Thirteen
“We need to talk,” Chance said to Lana the next morning when she came into the kitchen.
She sank down at the table, her cheeks instantly warming as she thought of their middle-of-the-night lovemaking. Was that what he wanted to discuss? Did he intend to make up some excuse? Offer some explanation that had nothing to do with love or desire? If he did, she thought her heart would break in two.
“About what?” She hoped he couldn’t read any of her thoughts in her expression as she gazed at him.
He sank onto the chair next to hers. “Late last night I went out and took down the For Sale sign. I put it in the barn.”
She stared at him in surprise. “I—I don’t understand.”
“I’m not selling.”
Her heart thundered against her ribs and hope spilled shining rays of light through her. She tried to ignore it, not wanting to second-guess his intentions and be disappointed. “Then, what are you going to do?” she asked softly.
His gaze held hers, his eyes as green as sweet pastures, as warm as spring sunshine. “I’m going to renege on our bargain.”
“Renege?” Her head swam as her heartbeat accelerated to what felt like a feverish pace.
“I’m not selling, Lana. I’m not leaving you and the babies.”
The hope that she’d been afraid to release fluttered through her, as rich, as wondrous as the new lives inside her. “But what about your life back in the Midwest? What about your job?”
“My life is here.” He stood and walked over to the window and stared out. “And my work is here.” He turned back to face her. “We’ll build this ranch into something magnificent for the twins. We’ll make this place the home that it never was for me.”
He walked back to the table and once again sat next to her. Taking her hands in his, his expression was nakedly earnest. “When we made our agreement, we didn’t know you’d get pregnant with twins. I can’t walk away now. What do you say, Lana? Build a life here with me. You need me, and those babies are going to need me.”
His words should have sent joy winging through her. This was what she had hoped for, what she had prayed would happen. She waited for the joy to suffuse her, but it didn’t. What did sweep through her was confusion and a strange sense of disappointment.
She broke eye contact with him and instead stared down at the tabletop, trying to discern the emotions that roared through her. “I don’t know, Chance. I— I need to think about it. I need a little time.” She looked at him again.
He nodded and released her hands. “I know I sort of sprung this on you out of nowhere and I know it isn’t what we initially agreed upon.” He swept a hand through his hair and leaned back in the chair. “But we’re good together, aren’t we? We could make a good life here together for the kids.”
“Yes, we’re good together,” she conceded, a deep pain growing in her heart.
Chance stood once again. “I’ve got some errands to run in town. Why don’t we talk when I get back? That will give you a little time to think.”
She nodded and stood as well and walked with him to the front door. “While you’re out, would you pick up some candy for trick-or-treaters?
”
“That’s right, that’s tomorrow, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know how many children you get out here, but I thought we’d better be prepared,” she said.
“I’ll pick some up.” His gaze on her was once again intense, somber. He reached out and touched her cheek with his index finger. “You need me, Lana. Let me be there for you.” With these final words, he turned and left her standing at the door.
Lana watched until his sports car had disappeared from view, then she went into the living room and sank down on the sofa.
Chance was going to stay. He wanted to build a life with her and their children. So, where was her joy? Why wasn’t she happy?
She replayed his words over and over again in her mind, and as she did, she recognized the source of her disappointment.
Chance had talked of her need for him, and the babies’ need, but he hadn’t said a word about his need for her. He hadn’t said a word about loving her.
If she were only carrying one baby, would he be making the same decision? Until the moment they had discovered she was carrying twins, he’d made no indication he intended to stay at the ranch and make a go of their marriage.
His decision had been made through duty and responsibility, not because of love. And as much as she loved him, as much as she desired to build a life with him, she would not remain in this marriage.
In fact, the need to escape suddenly consumed her. If she remained here, when Chance returned he would talk her into staying. She had no strength where he was concerned and it would be far too easy to give in to him.
However, she knew what the consequences would be. Eventually Chance would become resentful. He would feel trapped in a situation he’d professed he didn’t want. And as his unhappiness grew, perhaps he would become more like his father…unable to contain his bitterness.
Lana pulled herself up and off the sofa. She’d been a fool to remain here as long as she had. She should have left when she’d initially suspected she was pregnant.
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