Her throat tightened and her eyes stung. She had to blink back tears. And she still had to face Beck again. Pushing back her shoulders, she headed to the ER waiting room.
What am I going to do? I can’t even take care of myself, let alone my son!
Despair settled on her shoulders, draped over her like a fog. She wandered through the waiting room, not even seeing Beck. Standing outside, she shivered as a cool breeze came up. She glanced around, and had to blink when she saw Beck walking up to her, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his chin down.
“How is it?” he asked. He touched her arm brace.
Rachel glanced at him. She wanted to crumble, to just throw herself into his arms and let him hold her. She needed someone, anyone—just for a short time. Just to lean on for a few minutes. Only a few.
He must have seen something in her eyes. He put an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. She leaned into him, shivering now. “What did the doc say? Hey, at least they didn’t amputate it.”
Her throat tightened. “Not funny. And it’s not broken. Just a sprain.”
“And?” Beck drew the word out.
Rachel pulled away. “I’m not supposed to lift much more than a gallon of milk for a couple of weeks.”
Beck settled his hand on her lower back and rubbed small circles. The action seemed so normal—something he would have done before…well, just before. It felt good. Too good. She took a step away and hugged herself. “I don’t know how I’m going to deal with Chaz.”
“You’re going to leave that to the Burton clan. That’s how.” He stepped closer and tucked a finger under her chin to tip up her face.
“Don’t,” she said.
“Don’t what? Don’t help you? Don’t be nice? Come on, Rach, you can’t have it both ways. Either I’m a monster or I’m a good guy. Which is it?”
She took his hand and pulled it away from her face. But he kept hold of her fingers. She tugged her hand free. “You don’t know what it’s like to be truly alone in this world. And to have the one thing you love most in danger, and…and you’re powerless to help!”
“Honey, I know what it’s like to get pounded. I know what it’s like to lose. And I’ll tell you this—you step into any ring, and it’s just you. Your trainer’s not there with you. Your family’s not there. It’s just you. And it’s scary as hell.”
Rachel bit the inside of her cheek. She was not going to step back into the shelter of his arms and bury her head against his chest. After all the hurt he’s caused me, how can I still want to be with him?
Waving at the parking lot, Beck asked, “You ready to go?”
She held out the prescriptions. “I have to get these filled.”
“That’s what a truck’s for. Come on. Let’s get out of here.” He touched his hand to her elbow and guided her across the parking lot. For a second, she wanted to hang onto her defenses. But she was just too tired—too…too everything.
When they reached his truck, he opened the door. She stared at the seat, ready to break down. It was going to be awkward to pull herself up and in with only her left hand. But she could do it. She’d done it before. Without a word, Beck took hold of her and lifted her up and into the truck.
She glanced at him and found herself face to face with him. He licked his lips and her stare shifted to those lips. He had a wide mouth, and a lush lower lip—and suddenly it all came back to her. How good he could kiss—how he could make her feel lost and found at the same time.
She remembered watching him in Fiji as he walked out of the ocean, slicking the water from his hair with both hands. Her mouth had gone dry at the sight of him—muscles flexed as he moved, swim shorts barely clinging to his lean hips, all that beautiful tan skin.
They made love like a honeymoon couple, falling on each other morning, afternoon and night. Once on the deck of a rented catamaran, then in the turquoise waters with the waves rocking them together, in the sand, in bed, and even in the hammock on their private deck. With him, she’d felt special. She’d fallen in love more and more every day.
And then it had all fallen apart.
Beck leaned across her to fasten her seatbelt. He bent his head slightly, exposing the nape of his neck. She’d always loved that part of him. The strong cords of neck muscle. The fine, soft hair, now shorn so very short. The ache started low in her belly—the desire to touch him.
But if she did, where would it lead?
That mouth of his was a weapon—one he could use on her. And she’d give in to him. She knew it. She was too tired of fighting. She wouldn’t even be able to put up a token struggle. She’d give in to his kiss just as she had earlier. And she couldn’t let her walls start to crumble. Because he was still that angry man inside.
He pulled back and Rachel tried to rein in her thoughts. She was not going to think about how she wanted to lick the back of his neck. She was not going to think about his arms around her. She was not going to remember how the world went away when Beck plunged his tongue into her mouth, grasping her hips and pulling her against himself.
Beck slammed her door and came around to the other side to climb back into the driver’s seat. And Rachel tried to hold onto her resolve that the only thing she wanted from him was help for Chaz.
But that, she could see now, was such a lie.
Chapter 10
Beck got Rachel’s prescriptions filled at a drive-up pharmacy. He took her back to the dojo and arranged with Alice for her to take Rachel and Chaz back to the main house.
Rachel had tried to duck out on him, saying, “We can stay in a hotel.”
“Like hell you can,” Beck told her, walking through the front door. “The folks are on a cruise, and Bryant and Alice just bought a house down the street, so we have a ton of room right now. And you said yourself you’re not supposed to pick up anything—meaning Chaz—for a few weeks. And if you think—” He broke off the words as he heard a small whimper.
Glancing over at the hall leading to the bedroom, he saw Alice holding Chaz. The boy stared at him, eyes wide and scared. Beck realized his voice had been going up and going loud. Damn, the kid was like some kind of noise-detector. He pulled in a breath and put on a smile. “Besides, Mason’s grilling steaks tonight.”
Bouncing Chaz on her hip, Alice came over to Rachel. Chaz reached for her, but Alice kept hold of the boy. “Sorry, hon. your mommy hurt her wrist, so I’m going to have to hold you. But I bet she forgot the ice cream, didn’t she. Which means we have to go to your grandpa and grandma’s house for that treat. What’s your favorite? Chocolate or vanilla?”
Chaz reached again for Rachel with a small, whiney, “Mama.” His lower lip trembled, but Beck could see the glint of tears in the kid’s eyes. He was willing to bet a temper tantrum was coming on and coming fast.
Reaching out, Beck grabbed Chaz around the waist and swung him up and down. Rachel caught her breath and slapped a hand to her chest. “Careful!”
Beck ignored her. He swung Chaz around again, and Chaz went from wide-eyed to giggling. Beck swung the kid up in front of him so they were eye-to-eye. “Hey, scout. Bet you like trucks, Huh? You’re not a Burton unless you love trucks. Want to see mine?”
Chaz’s eyes went wide again, but this time without the tears. The kid didn’t say anything, but he was no longer reaching for his mom. Beck swung the boy up on his shoulder. “Hold on, scout. I’ll ride you out. Coming through!” He made train choo-choo sounds, and heard Chaz giggle again. Glancing back, he saw Rachel frowning at him. Hell, she was probably thinking she’d brought Chaz here only to get well, and she did not want him getting close to Chaz.
Well, she was going to have to rethink that plan. He didn’t know what he was going to do yet, but he wasn’t giving up his son. Not without a fight.
***
Rachel picked at her dinner until Beck got tired of it and cut up her steak for her, the same way he’d cut up Chaz’s steak. She glared at him both times, and he told her, “Kid’s too thin. He could use so
me steaks.”
“I brought food for him,” Rachel muttered.
Beck’s face heated and he wanted to get into it with her, but he glanced at Chaz—who was eating most of his food with his fingers, and more mashed potatoes than anything else. The kid seemed happy right now and Beck didn’t want to break that spell.
He’d finished up his training at the dojo while Alice had gotten Rachel and Chaz settled here at the house. Mason had cooked, and his fiancée, Avery, had helped. It was Bryant’s night to teach a basic martial arts class for the new white belts, and Alice was there with him. She was actually a better teacher and a better trainer than Bryant but no one wanted to break that news to Bryant.
Shaking his head, Beck told Rachel, “Why don’t you just admit you’re tired. Take a pain pill and go to bed, will you?”
Rachel’s mouth flattened into a stubborn line. Avery saved the day. Curvy and cute, Avery managed to disarm almost everyone, and now she turned her charm and her big blue eyes on Rachel. “Will you let me help you bath Chaz and read him a bedtime story? Alice got him all day, and I am so jealous.”
Avery tugged on the long braid that hung over her shoulder. She stood and smiled. Rachel glanced from Avery to Beck, and Mason stood as well. “Think I’ll do dishes. Beck, stop being a rock and give a hand here.”
Muttering about pushy women, and even pushier brothers, Beck helped Mason clear the table. He at least took a bowl of ice cream—Chaz had had two earlier—into the bathroom.
“He can’t bathe and eat ice cream,” Rachel protested. But Chaz reached for the bowl with a huge grin.
Beck handed over the bowl. “Nonsense. Saves time. You can get what he doesn’t get in his mouth—which seems most of it—off his face right away. Here you go, scout.”
Standing, Avery hustled Beck out of the bathroom with a glare, and Beck headed back to the kitchen. Mason handed him a beer. “Thought you might need this.”
“I shouldn’t. I’m in training—but yeah, it’s been a day.”
Mason clinked his bottle against Beck’s. “To the next generation. Now what’s up with this kid of yours?” Beck filled him in on what Rachel had told him. Mason listened and drank his beer. “Anemia doesn’t sound so bad.”
“That’s what I thought. And then Rachel started talking bone marrow transplants.”
Mason stopped with his beer bottle in mid-air. “What? From you? Oh, hell, that’s going to kill your training schedule. What do you think? Will it take you out for a few weeks? Maybe a month? Pulling out bone marrow’s not going to be a walk in the park.”
Beck shook his head. “Hell if I know.”
Avery came in, the front of her jeans and her sweatshirt damp and her hair pulling out of its braid and curling around her face. “I’d kill for a beer right now—but I’m going to have to make do with juice. Man I wish it wasn’t true that pregnancy and drinking don’t mix. And who is out for a month?”
Mason caught Avery up on the news about Chaz while he poured her a glass of orange juice. She cuddled up next to him, leaning her hips on the kitchen counter. Unlike Alice who still had her figure, Avery was already starting to show, even thought she was only a few weeks pregnant. Beck watched Mason sneak an arm around Avery and jealousy shot through him. Why couldn’t Rachel…
He cut off the thought. Rachel didn’t want him, and he…well, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do about her now. He drank his beer.
“So—what now?” Mason asked.
Beck shrugged. “Tests, I guess. Find out if Rachel is telling the truth about this anemia thing. And—”
He didn’t see the slap coming. Mason reached out and smacked him up beside the head. “Mason!” Avery protested. “I hate it when you hit anyone!”
Mason gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t worry. Beck’s used to it by now.”
Shaking her head, she headed for the bedroom. “I’m leaving you two brothers to sort this out.”
Beck smacked his beer down on the counter. “If you hadn’t just had a concussion, I’d—”
“You’d what? Lot of talk there, big man.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah!”
Beck surged forward. The memory of Chaz’s whimpers stopped him. Grabbing hold of himself, he tried to tamp down on the fire burning in his gut. He settled back, propping a shoulder against the fridge. “You know, I think maybe Rachel might have a point about my getting a little hot under the collar sometimes.”
Mason rolled his eyes. “Well, hallelujah. If she’s gotten that into your thick head, she’s done more than ma, or any of us, ever could. Now, just what are you going to do about a woman who knows you that well? A damn fine looking woman, I might add, who happens to be the mother of your son!”
Chapter 11
She thought it would be difficult to sleep. Her arm ached, worries about Chaz kept haunting her, but two minutes after her head hit the pillow, she was already drifting into slumber. Memories mixed in her dreams, and she was back in Fiji with Beck.
Rachel moaned in her sleep. Beck held her close, kissed her, and then trailed kisses down her neck. He rolled them, putting her on top. He brushed his hands down her back and she shivered.
He always knows just what I need.
She straddled him and took him inside her. He slipped in as if he was made for her. She gave a moan. Just what I need. When I need it. Leaning down, she kissed him. He brushed her hair from her face and suddenly it wasn’t Fiji but they were standing in the parking lot, with her back against Beck’s truck. He thrust into her and she wrapped one leg around him, pulling him close. Yeah. More of that, she thought.
The scene shifted again and now she was in her ring girl gear—short shorts that barely covered her ass and a bikini top held by strings. Beck came over to her in his fighting shorts. He stepped behind her and kissed her shoulder—and then undid her top with his teeth. The crowd roared and Rachel turned to grab the cage mesh.
Beck pulled off her top and yanked down her shorts. She wiggled her ass at him. He kicked her legs wide and slipped into her from behind. She gave a low growl and arched her back for him. It was just them in the cage arena—the crowd seemed a blank voice, just noise—hoots and hollers as Beck plunged into her. He gripped her hips tighter and leaned close to mutter, “Mine.”
She woke with a shout and sat up. The dark room seemed strange—disorienting for a moment. Sweat dampened her breasts and more dampness slicked her thighs. She wiggled her hips. A light flicked on and the door to her bedroom pushed open. Rachel pulled the sheets up to her chin as Beck padded in.
He looked great—rumpled and sexy. He had on sweats that clung low to his hips and a tight black T-shirt that outlined his muscles. He ran a hand over his face and asked, “You okay? I heard you shouting? Bad dreams?”
Rachel hummed a non-committal answer. She also pushed the hair from her eyes. “I’m fine.”
Beck gave her a sideways glance. “Right.” He sat down on the edge of her bed. “That’s why you’re sweating.” He brushed his fingertips over her forehead.
She pulled back. “Beck—!”
“You said no kissing. You didn’t say anything about touching.” Reaching up, he rubbed her shoulders. “You’re tied up in knots, Rach.”
She gave a small groan and tried not to melt under his touch. “Beck, this isn’t a good idea.”
“Rachel, this is a neck rub. Relax. You’ve had a long day—hell, probably a lot of long days. I get it.”
“It’s just…just my arm is aching.” She closed her eyes—better not to keep looking at Beck’s sexy eyes and that lean face of his. His hands left her shoulders and she popped her eyes open.
Standing, he held out a hand. “Come on. I know what you need.”
She stared at his hand. “What?”
“Will you stop acting like I’m going to put you in front of a firing squad?”
Dropping the covers, Rachel grabbed for her robe. She didn’t take Beck’s hand, but she slipped out of bed. Wh
en he turned and padded from the room, she followed. He led her onto the deck. A full moon spilled silver light over the deck and glinted from the steaming water of an elevated hot tub. Beck stripped his sweats and T-shirt off. Rachel had to swallow a gasp.
She also couldn’t help sneaking a look at that fine ass of his—round and firm and bare now. He slipped into the water and pushed a button to turn on the jets. “Climb in. You’ll sleep better for it.”
Rachel glanced at the brace on her arm. “I…I don’t think I can.”
Standing, bubbles barely covering him, Beck closed his eyes and held out his hands. “It’ll help. And I swear I won’t even peak.”
She bit her lower lip. The water looked more than tempting. How long had it been since she’d had time to soak. She shivered in a cool breeze and that did it. Either she bailed and went back to bed or she got in the hot water.
Throwing off her robe, she slipped from her nightgown, shivered again and put her good hand in Beck’s. She climbed up on the steps, threw a leg over and slid into the water. Letting go of Beck, she retreated to the far corner of the tub. Water surged around her and steam warmed her face. Even the soft hum of the hot tub seemed soothing.
With her bad arm held out of the water, she told him, “You can look now.”
He smiled and sank down into the water. “Told you it’d feel good. Now what are we going to do about Chaz?”
“Well, there are tests—”
“No, not now. Once he’s well.”
She shook her head. “Beck, you know you’re going to be too busy with your…your schedule to raise a kid. You said it yourself—it’s not on your list.”
“Yeah, well, looks like it’s been put there. And a kid needs a dad.”
“I might get married yet.”
Even in the dim light, she saw the color surge to Beck’s face. “What? To someone like Sangeli?”
Rachel pushed out a breath. “I can’t believe you’d drag that up.”
The Fighter's Secret Child (The Burton Brothers Series Book 3) Page 4