No. Freaking. Way.
I reared a hand back, ready to slap him if he came any closer.
“What the hell did you expect?” He shouted suddenly, flailing his arms. “Fine, you’re pissed at me. I get that. But at least let me explain!”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced myself to sound calmer. I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. “Go away, Zeph. Just leave me alone. I never want to see you again!”
As soon as the door clicked shut and I was alone again in my apartment, I hated myself for saying that to him. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want to fight with him at all. He was the only person in the world who seemed to care what happened to me other than Ben—and I’d never even looked Ben in the eye.
I hoped to see him sitting at my kitchen table as I stumbled through on the way to my bedroom, but my apartment was empty and uncomfortably quiet. I stormed to my bedroom and slammed the door as hard as I could, hoping he would hear it.
After all, I knew better now than to think any door I shut would actually keep him out.
I collapsed onto my bed with my face in my pillow. My stomach growled and ached, but I had no desire to cook anything. Chocolate probably would have worked toward solving all my problems, emotional and physical, but I didn’t have any on hand.
My skin still felt clammy. My body was still trembling. Just the thought of Zeph made my fingers and toes curl, my throat ache, and my breath catch with a sob.
I needed to clear my head.
I forced myself to get up and go to the bathroom. A long shower would be good. It might even wash off any residual stink from those lizard monsters.
I let the shower run until the whole bathroom was fogged with steam. Leaning against the shower wall, I let my head loll back so the hot water ran through my hair and down my back. At last, the pressure inside me seemed to ease.
But I still couldn’t close my eyes without seeing his stupid, lying face.
I stood at the bathroom counter for a long time with my hair dripping wet, staring at the circles under my eyes through a small hole I’d wiped in the fog on the mirror. I wasn’t as pretty as that girl who’d flirted with Zeph today. Her hair had been so silky, while mine looked like a frizzy mane of red curls. It reminded me of how my dad had jokingly called me his Raggedy Ann when I was little. That girl also had a more shapely, grown-up body. Me? Well, I was still wearing an A-cup that I didn’t even fill up all the way. Her skin had been smooth and clean like something from a makeup ad. I had freckles—lots and lots of them.
But Zeph had said he liked “puny redheads.”
Remembering those words made my heart do that weird fluttering, shivering thing deep in my chest. I didn’t know why he’d said that. Maybe he knew I was eavesdropping and said it just to tease me? That definitely sounded like something he would do.
Then again, maybe not.
I stood at the mirror, chasing down my racing thoughts until the steam finally cleared from the room. None of what Zeph did or said made any sense. He was constantly contradicting himself. Why? What was the point? To drive me nuts? If so, he was doing a fantastic job. With a sigh, I wrapped myself up in my favorite pink, fluffy bathrobe and went back to the bedroom.
I opened my bedroom door and screamed.
There was a man in my room. It took me a few seconds of absolute terror and gripping the doorframe to realize I knew him.
Zeph sat on the floor, leaning back against the side of my bed. He rested his elbows on his knees, and his head bowed low to his chest. He didn’t even look up as I struggled to regain my composure. It took me a minute or two to work up the energy to be furious with him.
“I told you not to do this! Don’t come in here without asking! You scared me to death, you moron!”
His expression was so bleak and dejected as he sat there, staring at the floor. It made me very uneasy. Slowly, he raised his head to gaze up at me, and I could tell just by the look on his face that he’d come here to talk—whether I liked it or not.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
“Sorry?” I didn’t quite believe that. He’d never been sorry for breaking into my home before. “Did you break my door again?”
“No. I’m not talking about that.” He went back to staring at the floor. “I mean about your dad. I’m sorry … I should have told you. I just didn’t think he would have wanted you to get mixed up with me. I know it looks bad now, like I was just lying to be a prick, but I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
I took a few cautious steps into the room. I was beginning to wish I had dressed in the bathroom. Him showing up in my home all the time was going to be an adjustment. I’d have to make sure never to walk around in my underwear. “Mixed up with you? Why not? What’s wrong with you?”
Zeph smirked, like I’d made a joke. He scratched at the back of his head nervously. “A lot, probably.”
I took a deep, steadying breath and went to my dresser. I tried to keep things as casual as possible, hoping he wouldn’t notice as I went digging through my underwear drawer for the most adult-looking undergarments I owned.
At last, I turned around. “I need to change, so close your eyes. No peeking.”
“Hah. As if there’s anything there to see.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Of course. Puny redheaded girls do nothing for you, right?”
His face flushed a little, and I reveled in my victory. Strange as it was, hearing him be sarcastic and rude again was comforting. Plus, knowing I could beat him at his own game made it much more fun.
Zeph was quiet then, sitting obediently on the floor with his eyes closed and his head leaned back against the side of my bed. “Your dad was a good man. He didn’t deserve what happened to him. He always made the people around him want to be better and work harder so that we could restore peace.” He pursed his lips. “I guess I’m not a shining example of that, though.”
I quickly finished dressing, pulling one of my dad’s old t-shirts over my head and slipping on a pair of gym shorts. I plopped onto my knees on the floor in front of him, making enough noise to let him know I was done changing.
“Yeah, you are pretty disgusting.”
Zeph snorted and his mouth quirked into a half-cocked smirk. “Keep it up, princess. Next time, I’ll let the bogle chew on you a little longer.”
“So why wouldn’t my dad want me to get involved with you? What was that bogle talking about? Why were you protecting my dad?”
“It’s a long story,” he admitted. “It goes back to the old Seelie and Unseelie dispute. Thousands of years ago, all faeries used to live together in harmony with humanity. We were ruled over by one fae who had been given dominion over all other faeries by the vessel.”
I inched a little closer. “Vessel?”
“The vessel is a human gifted with the blessing of the moon. They’re like a walking fountain of raw, untapped magical energy. They have the power to share that energy with others if they choose,” he explained. “Legend has it that the vessel signifies the bond between fae and humanity—how we are supposed to share and help one another. That’s why only the vessel can choose the next faerie ruler.”
“You mean like a king or a queen?”
He nodded. “We lived in peace that way for a long time. But, as the world of humankind began to grow and change, turning away from magic and forgetting the old ways, the faerie court was split.” His jaw tensed for a moment. “Some of them believed that we should remove ourselves from human sight altogether. They thought we should never use our magic except when a human life was in mortal danger—and sometimes not even then. They called themselves the Seelie Court, and decided to remain strictly devoted to the old laws.”
Zeph hesitated, and then stretched out his legs and let his hands fall back into his lap. “But others began to hate humans for destroying the forests and poisoning the wild places of the world where faeries had lived in peace for so long.�
�� He dragged a finger through his bangs, brushing them away from his eyes. His gaze was distant. “They didn’t want to obey rules for regulating magic that the Seelie Court was determined to uphold—rules that they believed conflicted with their ability to defend themselves and their homes. They call themselves Unseelies and are regarded as rogues, vigilantes, or even evil spirits. Not all of them are, but it only takes a few to give the whole lot a bad name.”
I sank back on my heels some. “Like the bogles from today?”
“Yep. Exactly. The two courts have been at war for a very long time. The Seelies like to pretend they’re the magic police. They try to apprehend and punish Unseelie fae who have broken their laws. Meanwhile, the Unseelies are some of the most pretentious, self-serving idiots you’ll ever meet. Most of them have found ways to hide in plain sight while simultaneously exploiting the greed and vices of humanity. Some have progressed to committing even more heinous acts, even against their own kind.” He smirked again, as he gave a shrug. “Your dad wanted to find a way to mend our differences so we could deal with the only real villain this world has ever known.”
“My dad never talked much about his work,” I admitted. “I had no idea he was involved in anything like this.”
Zeph sighed. “He was one of the few humans who had dared to try it in a long time. But he understood the threat Fir Darrig poses, not just to the faerie world, but to the human world as well.”
“Fir Darrig?”
His smirked disappeared. The mischievous light in his eyes died, and I saw his whole body tense. “Big trouble,” he answered softly.
Things were slowly beginning to make more sense. If my dad had been poking around in the faerie realm, which I now knew could be extremely dangerous, then it wasn’t surprising that he had gotten in over his head. I knew he had passed away in a house fire when I was fourteen—a fire I had only narrowly escaped from, although I didn’t remember it. The smoke had been so intense that I lost consciousness in the hallway trying to escape, and woke up in the back of an ambulance hours later.
Had Fir Darrig caused that fire?
The memory replayed before I could stop it. It consumed me—the smell of the smoke, not being able to breathe without choking, and the roar of the flames. A heat so intense I couldn’t even open my eyes without blinding, searing pain.
“Hey, you okay?” He was looking at me with his brow drawn up with worry.
I forced a teasing smile. “Fine. So which are you? Seelie or Unseelie?”
He arched his eyebrow at me with that candid expression I was beginning to enjoy so much. “You think I’d follow anyone else’s rules?”
“Unseelie it is, then.” I managed to laugh.
He laughed, too, reclining back against the side of my bed and closing his eyes again. He looked strangely innocent sitting there with his expression calm. It made him even more irresistible.
I scooted in a few more inches. My pulse frenzied, and I held my breath as I reached out to touch one of his cheeks. “Falling asleep?”
Zeph caught my hand right before I could grab him, holding it in a warm, firm grip. His purple eyes opened, looking directly at me with an expression that made my heart skip a beat. “You’re a mean kid. No wonder you don’t have any friends.”
I was trying to come up with a snappy reply, but he took my hand and pressed it up against the side of his face. I stifled a gasp, watching the way his eyes rolled back. He seemed to enjoy the way my palm felt against his rough, stubbly cheek. My fingers followed the contour of his face until he turned his head into my palm, and I felt his warm, soft lips graze the side of my thumb.
For a moment, I couldn’t breathe.
Somewhere in my twisted mind was the foolish hope that he might try something more, like kissing me again. I wanted that—I wanted it badly.
Finally, he released my hand and stood. “It’s late. You have school tomorrow.”
I deflated. That was the last thing I wanted to think about right then. “You’ll come with me tomorrow, won’t you? As Joe?” I asked as I crawled into my bed.
He hesitated. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice now. At least, not until we come up with a better solution. Word’ll spread that you’re involved with me. You’ll become more of a target from now on. Like it or not, that knucklehead of a puca is going to have to start carrying his weight around here.”
That wasn’t comforting at all. I didn’t want Eldrick at my side—I wanted him.
He sighed, shoving his hands in the pockets of his worn-out jeans. “Go to sleep. I won’t let anything get you.” He showed me another roguish grin before starting toward the door.
One glance across the room to my closet gave me chills. Eldrick might be in there. He could be anywhere in this apartment, just waiting for the chance to …
“Zeph?” I gulped, studying the pattern on my comforter. “Will you please stay here tonight?”
“That’s not … I mean, you’re still too … uh, technically. I can’t …”
“For crying out loud! I turn eighteen in a few months.” I sulked. “Besides, I didn’t mean it like that. You have a dirty mind.”
“What the heck am I supposed to think?” He face went red.
“You’re not even human, so what does it matter? You’re probably a thousand years old, right?”
Zeph didn’t argue that, which surprised me more than it should have. I didn’t know how old he was, but maybe I had been closer to the right number than I thought.
“I just don’t want to be alone,” I confessed, quickly changing the subject. “I keep thinking about what else might be in my apartment that I can’t even see.”
His tense expression began to fade, steadily becoming something much gentler and yet profoundly uncertain. Had I struck a chord?
“Fine.” He sighed in defeat. “But you better not tell anybody about this, got me? Not Hank. Not the landlord. Nobody.”
Zeph walked around to the empty side of my bed and sat down. He started untying his shoes and muttering under his breath. I couldn’t make out most of what he said, but I did hear him say something about not getting under the blankets.
“Good. Your feet probably stink anyway,” I quipped.
He made the whole bed jostle as he flopped back with his hands behind his head, stretching out with a satisfied groan. He was so tall that his feet hung off the end of the mattress.
“I’m only sitting here until you fall asleep. Then I’m going to the couch,” he mumbled. “It’s not up for debate, so don’t give me lip about it. Got it?”
“Sure.” I fought a smile as he sat up long enough to rearrange the pillows.
I could just barely lie next to him without touching. He was close enough that I could feel the warmth of his body. Occasionally, I caught a waft of his earthy smell. It was strange and soothing to have another person near me—a person who seemed to want to be around me. I’d only been able to sleep whenever he was around, keeping the invisible monsters at bay.
“You better not snore,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes.
“Just go to sleep,” he replied, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
Zeph snored loud enough to wake the dead. So much for going to the couch. Sitting up, I frowned at where he was stretched out on top of the blankets, sound asleep.
Zeph had mentioned fae were often mistaken for angels. Knowing that, I wondered where the expression “sleeping like an angel” had come from … because there wasn’t anything beautiful about the way he was snoring like a freight train. He was sprawled on his belly, arms straight down at his sides, with his bare feet still hanging off the end of my bed. His dark hair was mashed flat on one side, and sticking up on the other. His clothes were rumpled, and his face was buried in the pillow. He looked dead except for the fact that I could hear the muffled sounds of his deep, wheezing breaths. How could he even breathe at all like that?
Leaning over the edge of the bed, I dragged my laptop of
f the nightstand and pulled it onto my lap. While it booted up, I tried to think of what I could say to Ben about what’d happened yesterday.
I twirled a lock of Zeph’s lengthy hair around my finger as he went on snoring and wheezing. He didn’t even twitch. Too bad I couldn’t sleep that deeply.
It took a few seconds for my email inbox to load. A hard knot formed in the back of my throat when I saw I already had a new email from Ben.
Josie,
I received an email from a so-called friend of yours. He told me he got my address when you used his phone. He explained the situation at school, that you’ve been having a hard time with a certain guidance counselor and that you are afraid to tell me about these problems because of the complexity of our relationship. If I have ever made you feel uncomfortable about coming to me with these kinds of issues, please let me apologize. I am very sorry. That was never my intent. Your father asked me to be his replacement to the best of my ability, and I have obviously failed in that because you don’t feel like you can be honest with me. I hope you’ll give me the opportunity to do better. I will have a discussion with your guidance counselor and, if need be, I will relocate you to a different school of your choosing.
As for the “friend” who sent me the email, while I appreciate his interest in your well-being, I want to advise you to be careful. He wouldn’t give me his name or explain how he knows you. I won’t tell you not to trust him, that’s a choice you are fully capable of making on your own, but I want you to be safe. In any case, I’m happy you’ve found someone who is apparently concerned about you. Just remember to protect yourself. There are terrible people in this world.
Yours,
Ben
I stopped twirling the lock of Zeph’s hair. I debated on ripping it right out of his head. He sent Ben an email about me? Of all the nosy, crooked, sneaky things to do!
But as fast as my temper caught fire, it began to fizzle out just as quickly. I untwisted his lock of hair from around my finger, and stared at the back of his sleeping, dumb head. Just what was his problem, anyway?
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